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Oh Globe, now that the scary bit is over you must be gnashing your teeth with frustration. She didn't want to use her walker because "people" might think she looks old, eh? - oh irony of ironies, so how does that compare with being the centre of attraction on the down escalator, hm?

Well, I'm very glad that it wasn't worse, and I hope her bumps and grazes clear up quickly, and please God let the silver lining be that she will be readier to take sensible precautions - LIKE USING HER WALKER GODDAMIT!!! - in future. Pride combined with dementia is such a nightmare when it comes to falls prevention, I really feel for you.
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The ego is the last thing to go, in my experience.

Five years ago we watched a John Grisham movie with my mom. Three days later she asked if we could watch it. She had forgotten it completely .

That was five years ago, now, JUST NOW in AL she is beginning to admit that she is having problems with her memory. Oooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I have adopted a "take no prisoners" attitude when it comes to fall prevention for my mother. If I followed her every command she would have broken probably every bone in her body by now.My thought is I will be the one to have to call 911 and listen to her screaming in pain, and sit in the ER and talk with the surgeon about the impending hip/back/neck/arm/leg/ribs and any other bone that she broke on the way down from doing something she "just knows" she can do(no dementia but on a lot of morphine and mobile all things considered).Sometimes you just have to be the bad guy and just say NO!
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Globetrotter,How Scary!!!Its bad enough to fall,but on an escalator is especially dangerous and scary.Im so glad she didnt get hurt worse.Accidents happen SO fast and these da#m falls do so much damage.Hang in there....
T
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Quiet and peaceful here and thankful for it...the past week has been one of those where every morning began with a sense of frantic anticipation and so it was nice knowing that not one soul was due to come here this morning. Mama has been in a cheery mood again...

So glad I did not jump and buy that oven yesterday. I have been eyeing the kitchen and am starting to think that instead of doing that, and a new cooktop, which I will also soon need, I may just get an actual flat surface really nice range and take out that little section of cabinetry underneath the cooktop...I will lose that space, but then I can turn that former oven space into cabinet space so kind of like lose it there but gain it over here...Also replace those doors with really pretty etched glass from ceiling to floor with lighted background ..All of that I can do on my own and then later I can redo the doors on the cabinets and the door pulls to jazz it up...Also I can put a lot larger range in that space, which means more oven space ...so for now I think I will get a countertop oven and think on this plan...
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Globetrotter...bless your heart. I have a horror of falling on those things.. I am not too crazy about getting on them period..something about them makes me dizzy and my vertigo kicks in and I am always afraid of falling ...I'm glad you weren't hurt much worse....

Susan, good to hear your Mom's kidney function was better than feared, but still praying for her and for you. I'm not much help regarding the financial issues you are concerned about...but I do know how they can drive you up the wall. I have had to go through some of those...and in fact, Mama never put this house in my name even though she would say, we need to do it we need to do it...but then I would start to take her and she would say there was no rush...and I never wanted to push her...and then all this happened. Because I am POA and it is a durable POA, at the suggestion of a friend who had gone through a similar situation, I went to an attorney who specializes in this kind of stuff and he fixed it so that as long as Mama is living this is her house and that ownership automatically reverts to me in a life estate...This is where I ran into a lot of heartache with my aunt who I had loved and adored, becuase the told me he would prefer having someone who knew Mama who would write a simple affidavit that this was what Mama wanted...which she had even stated not two months prior without my even bringing it up..I dreaded doing it but I finally called her ...and she promptly started acting like she was "foggy" on what Mama had said..and finally told me...well, I just really don't want to hurt (brother)...You could not have hurt me more had someone slammed me in the face with a shovel...I have not seen her since that happened. She knows how hurt I am and I am hurt and I don't know that I will get past it any time soon.

I would never keep her from coming here...she knows she can come see Mama any time she wants to...she just chooses not to come. I'm guessing she is ashamed to come and she ought to be.

But the attorney told me that he would still fix it..he had seen this kind of thing all too many times and the way he wrote it up was that she was leaving it to me in accordance with her wishes and in keeping with my good and faithful loving care of her, etc. etc. etc...anyway...he did it well and it is all recorded and such. He told me that while he COULD challenge it..if he did it would be on HIM to prove that the statements in there were not true and he would have to provide confirmation that he had also contributed to her care both personally and financially..and that, I can promise you and anyone else...he CANNOT do...Also it would be on him to be ugly and I doubt very much he would ever want to sully his pristeen reputation ...I don't mean that to sound tacky or ugly..but stuff like this is tacky and ugly and dang it...that's the way it was supposed to be...and the only reason it had not already been done was I didn't have it in me to be a jackass unlike somebody else....
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Lucky, how is your Mom...and how are you? I am making my way through all the posts...it is unbelievable at much happens to our little group in just one day...unbelievable!!! I love yall so much.

I am a little worried this morning. I have one kitty who just will not stop making his little journey through the neighborhood every day. He just meanders so gently ..he is huge but such a big old gentle boy. He has been neutered and is a total sweet loving boy...but I am always so afraid of his drifting because I have known too many people in my life who just hated the fact that a cat walked across their yard..didn't have to be doing anything, just walking..anyway...he had just gone out for his morning walk and about 20 minutes later I heard gunfire..one shot...close by...I am trying not to panic..please pray for him...I am hoping to see him come rolling in shortly....
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Oh, Hope, what a horrible thought! Did your cat come back yet? An even worse one, that the gunfire was directed at a person; however, I'm sure you would hear sirens and everything by now. We are going to think positively on this one and believe there is an alternative explanation besides these two.
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praying for your kitty Hope. Back in the day when I lived in a neighborhoo, a cat adopted us. He was a big white Tom cat and he always looked beat up. We never let him in the house because he was so grungy, but we put food out for him and gave him a box with a blanket to sleep in on cold nights. We called him General Zod after the Superman character because he was always fighting.
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JOYFUL UPDATE...My baby came home not long after I posted that. I had gone back out to look for him and was in the yard talking to my puppy and suddenly heard a little "meow"...it was him, under my truck...I checked him over really well and he is fine as frog hair...he came in and ate and has now gone back out to join the others lounging on the front porch...

I am a bit of a freak when it comes to worry over my babies. I don't want them going anywhere anytime..The others stay right here...I keep a constant count on their noggins. This is one who used to live in the house directly across the street from me and when his owners moved the lady came over and told me she was leaving them behind (3 of them)....they ended up with me...one I found a great home for...a third would never let me catch her, but she was a beautiful solid white fluffy cat and I pray someone took her in..but I know she knew where to get her food because I always saw her in my basement eating...and this one is mine now...how do people just move off and abandon their pets? Oh, and now the folks up the street (where the man used to fire the cannon) they have moved and abandoned THEIR kitty, who now comes here to eat...and of course I'm going to feed him and do whatever he needs to remain healthy...ah well, that's ok...I love em..I just don't understand people being so hateful and uncaring. Thanks for your concern GT...he's baaack! ;)
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lol...thanks Shara..yes, he came home!!! I had a kitty once ..well he wasn't mine, just a neighborhood toughie...he would NOT let me pet him..always looked very rough and beat up...I named him Mr. Mooney because he was so cranky...I always fed him and I tried to pet him, but he never allowed that...but every time I fed him he slapped the crapola out of me...LOL...talk about slapping the hand that feeds you....I figured he earned the right to be cranky...so that was ok...God bless him....sweet old soul.
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Yes, Shardale, you couldn’t have said it better, my heart was definitely in my throat.

Country Mouse, yes I was very frustrated, especially since I had completed all my purchases and had to leave them behind (lol) - I know, a minor issue given the circumstances. The most exasperating part was sitting with her for about two hours in the EMS ward at Emergency, asking the same the same questions and yelling the same verbally abusive comments about staff and how long she has to wait, and can I go home now, do you know what time it is, we’ve been in the hospital all day, I’m starving and they don’t feed you in here - what kind of a hospital is this. And she thinks falling is an embarrassment - if she only knew how much embarrassment she was capable of causing me at times (lol). Yes, the irony of it all; a walker would have been far less conspicuous than a fall on an escalator and a 911 call in a store!

Salisbury, yes mom’s pride will definitely be the last to go, not her hearing (lol).

Lucky Lu, yes that accident happened so fast although I had an uncanny feeling all day about escalators, and I was watching her like a hawk when she was going down to the subway platform. I am still in awe that the damage was not worse. My friend is early retirement age and has trouble with falls, and she really banged herself up quite badly. I think it’s because she was going up and not down. She was not far from the bottom but enough to land on the steps; I think if she had hit the concrete floor at the base of the escalator it would have been a totally different story. Or if she had hit her head on those spiked edged moving stairs. If she fell straight down from the top it would have been game over, I’m sure. The fact that staff were able to stop the button so quickly was another factor in our favour. Me, on the other hand, was just stunned from the shock, although I did try to call out stop the escalator. Although I was able to regroup when I got some assistance and saw that mom was relatively okay.

Hope, I also get dizzy on escalators, especially if they are fast moving and descend on a very deep decline. There’s a subway station at which one has to descend quite a ways down to track level and I have to focus my eyes on some stationary object and slowly transition my focal point or I feel as if I am going to fall.

Once again, thank you all for your empathy, support and well wishes.
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Hey! If the donald fires everyone else in the country, maybe he will become pres.
DONALD, you are fired!
Unless you can promise us all new ovens, cause I need one too.
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Hope, I also dislikes escalators... dizziness and vertigo come knocking at the door, too. So try this, wait until there is no one on the escalator then walk up or down like the escalator were stairs. That really helps me when I do that :)
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I've always had trouble getting on the down escalator, even before I needed mutlifocal lenses; mom always hated them too and went out of her way to avoid them. Does anyone actually like the danged things???
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Well,husband and I chickened out on putting the toilet lift on today and are going to wait for a friend that will help us next week with it. Okay, I have tried to keep my big mouth shut, I apologize now, I am probably a horrible person, all that said WH
Y would you take someone on an escalator that has balance issues? I am just fall paranoid because of my mother, if I could I would wrap her in bubble wrap.I don't care how bored,depressed, frustrated she is, I would never take my mother on an escalator.Sorry globe, I know that must have been an awful feeling and your a better man than I for even taking her out like that but be easy on yourself, I don't even go on escalators however I do ride a horse so what do I know.
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In my defense for my "criticism" I worked orthopedic surgery and believe me broken bones and the surgery to "fix" them is very painful. Mom might be bored or angry but that will pass, a broken hip is forever.
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Timbuktu, what can I say, as you have already judged me. Mom has never fallen on an escalator before; in many situations there are no other options available as accessibility for the disabled has still not reached an adequate level. Re Walmart, I was so confused about the layout of the store, and the elevator was at the back and beyond.
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Globe please I wasn't judging you, it is just the OCD in me.I worry about my mother falling when all she is doing is lying in bed.I die a thousand deaths a day when she goes to the bathroom by herself, so far so good,every unexplained bump and thump my heart stops.I know it's not rational but sometimes I just want to wrap her in bubble wrap and put her in a closet. I know I can realistically only try to make it more difficult for her to fall but I can never make it impossible as I don't control the laws of gravity.I commend you for caring enough to get your mother out of the house.
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Oh GlobeTrotter...it was your Mom!!! Sorry I misread that...not that I would want to know you fell either...but I guess between the two of us, I'd always rather it be me than Mama...but just thank God it wasn't much worse....

You know, when I look back and remember how most of my career was a property insurance adjuster...having spent 20 years at least climbing up and down ladders, all over very steep roofs like a mountain goat...remembering how I used to just walk over to the edge of a roof and lean over face forward and put the tape measure onto the roof's edge...The senior adjusters who went with me during training used to say.."Girl it makes me nauseous to see you do that..you need to stop"...and I'd think..bunch of old fogeys...and man now just thinking of it as I sit here on the safety of my sofa...what was I thinking??? I would go right over the edge if i did it now....

When we moved my stuff last year, you know those pull out ramps the rental moving trucks have??? Well, even those made my vertigo crazy...I was so embarrassed but I literally had to creep up and down them...especially down them...I just felt like I was going to pitch over....

We are enjoying a most awesome relaxing day. I am still debating what I want to fix for the game...I found a recipe for a crockpot chicken casserole and then I remembered I can't cook the chicken but I think I am going to go buy one of those rotisserie chickens and use that..I have every thing else I need and that sounds good to me. And I may just go to our stores wing bar and get a bucket of wings...my favorite are the buffalo and terriyaki ones....both sounds good. Mama seems happy and my puppy loves her cheerleader dress...watching our arch nemisis right now and of course pulling for the other team..I can't help it... happy fallish day yall!!
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Wish more stores would offer also a set of stairs to use since I am not crazy about using escalators nor elevators [elevators can make me seasick depending on the elevator age and condition]. But I know we can't make Mom or Dad use the stairs when they are past that stage of muli-level of stairs.

And when we do need to use the elevator, good heavens why are those elevators placed at the back of the store? Some stores I feel like I would need to pack a lunch to get from point A to point B with my parents.
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Speaking of falls I remember taking my Mom to a doctor's appt. We had finished there and were walking to a coffee shop to get a bite to eat. I was watching my Mom really carefully like I always had. There was a bit of a step up to get to the coffee shop. Not high, maybe an inch at the most. I looked away one second. Next thing I know my Mom had fallen flat on her back on the hard concrete. I was in utter shock.........to this day I can't for the life of me see how she could of fallen.

So escalator or no escalator if your parent is prone to falls they will fall.

Hope, glad your kitty came back. I hate that feeling when your beloved pet goes missing. You imagine all sorts of horrible things. My one sister has lost seven cats in the last couple of years. I told her if she loses another one I'm going to report her to the spca.

Timbuktu so you chickened out installing the toilet lift eh? I was looking forward to hearing the dramatic story. :)
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I just couldn't deal with my husbands "I'm fixing something" attitude. He becomes another creature with tools in his hands so our friend who is very tool worthy will help us tues. to install it and probably save my marriage.
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We just discovered that my mom has cataracts and can't get her into see the surgeon until October 13th. God, I am paranoid about her falling, too! things are just ok right now. I don't want to go through "the hospital thing"...
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haha....timbuktu...the old "I'm fixing something attitude"...yep....every man on the planet I've ever known has that...must be something they learn in gym class??

Gershun..I know the feeling sadly. After having my babies safe forever...when I first moved home, sadly I lost several of mine very quickly...mostly from coyotes...(which I didn't even know were a problem here until it was too late) now I bring them all in at night..except one who just flat out refuses to come inside..period...he literally climbs the walls, curtains, will start peeing on everything. He has a spot on our high deck which I keep closed off and he seems pretty keen to the ways of the world out there....I wish he'd come in and be happy, but he refuses...except in winter..once it gets cold he comes in and no problems... :) Sorry about your sis's kitties...it is heartbreaking.

I guess my early bouts of losing several of mine made me extremely skittish..also I just don't ever wnat my pets to be an issue with neighbors...(and more importantly I don't trust most people anymore when it comes to pets)....

ugh...I still have nyet to make it out of the house. I'm sitting here dressed and ready to go and have given Mama something to "eat"...but just hate getting out in this heat..but the only other option is pizza and I'm just not feeling that
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Salisbury...sorry you have the cataract issue to deal with. I hate the whole "hospital thing" too...I pray that we never have to do it again...Nothing is more tiring than sitting in a hospital to me and in Mama's current state, I can't even think of leaving her..at least not for over 30 minutes at most....don't like leaving her at all....sooooo protective of her .always have been but even worse now....I never had children...I'm thinking I might not have made such a good parent...what is it they call those who hover too much??? helicopter? is that it??
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I'm seriously about to lose it. Mom can't settle, when she's in bed she wants to turn over constantly, when she's in her chair she wants to go to bed, when I took her for a walk she wanted to go home and lie down, we lie down and she calls me to say she's tired and wants to sleep??? and on and on...
I KNOW what the effing problem is, it's day 5 and no sign of a BM again, I already started her on laxatives yesterday, I just don't know how much more of this I can take before I blow a fuse... I already yelled at her and told her she is driving me nuts, but she won't remember that for long, which is both a blessing and a curse.
AAARRRRGGGGHHHH
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I hate sitting in hospitals waiting too Hope. When I was keeping vigil with my Mom occasionally I would walk around the hospital at night. It was so quiet and eerie. Sometimes I felt like I had entered the twilight zone. The cafeteria would be closed and there was just the skeleton staff working and my mind would go to weird places all the time. If they haven't already someone should make a horror movie about hospitals at night. I know you love a good scary movie Hope...........maybe one day you'll watch one about an old haunted hospital and think of me.
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Cwillie,I feel for you. When my mom first started on extended release morphine she had an ileus within 2 weeks , this was back in Oct.2012.As of now our bowel regimen is based on the fact she takes 300mg of morphine a day and with limited mobility constipation is a big deal at out house. I have her on colace twice a day, a healthy dose of Miralax every day,probiotic once a day up to twice a day if on antibiotics, my last line of defense is a choice between magnesium citrate and the old favorite castor oil. My mother and I have an understanding that she must go every day,if she hasn't gone by NOON it's castor oil time.She knows I am serious because I don't want to end up in the ER with another ileus looking at possible surgery and a colostomy.So far this has been working for the last 3 yrs.Castor oil may not taste good and yes I have tasted it and echh! but it gets the job done and it is still better than sitting in the ER because of an impaction.
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I know about spooky night shifts at a hospital. I remember when AD was called "organic brain syndrome" because nobody had a specific name for what was being observed in the elderly.Some nights on those 40 patient wards it was like Dante's inferno with the screams of the damned,some didn't sound human,and just when it would get quiet a piercing shriek would always seem to come from the very back of the ward,have to check it out and never know what you would find.No access to any drugs for dementia as they simply were not in existence at the time.
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