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I hope the family can see their way clear to set up a special needs trust for her.
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Barb, I doubt seriously they will do anything. Her Mom told PJ that she has taken more from the trust than all of the other family members combined in the last 5 years. They do not want to support her in any way. I think they are in self preservation mode at this point. My lawyer says they don't visit her, put no money in her commissary account, don't accept phone calls. As well, I suspect they are also worried about me filing a lawsuit. I have never signed a release. My neurologist still has not released me. I am still having headaches 3 to 4 times a week and I still have some swelling internal and external to where I got whacked. It's minimal, but still there.
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I am so sorry, Becky. Hopefully she will not get released.
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Thinking about nutty lady. She hasn't been in there for six months. I called my attorney. She's not due for a heating until June. He called and they said it was an error. They will reschedule for a the correct time. My lawyer said she is also petitioning for release because of health issues. But that won't happen. If she is critically they will transfer her to a facility with complete hospital care. He assured my attorney that even though she has these private psychiatrists, she won't get out. She was deemed competent and she signed as a voluntary criminal admission. I wonder who is paying them. A court ready psychiatrist isn't cheap - around a $1000.00. And she has two of them.
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The trust is paying.
Her Mom is your enemy, trying to feel you out, passing on misinformation, to keep you on edge. Do not allow her to destroy you, ask your attorney if you should even be staying in touch with the family of a criminal. ???  You are so innocent, that you may not consider the dynamics of this crazy family-they could be trying to put her away so they benefit from the trust.  You just don't know.

Set up a huge legal support system and barrier to protect you! Includes PJ and family, and your colleagues, imo.

Take care Becky, this battle will be ongoing!
Do not resist an oncoming, opposing force. Step aside, and allow them (all of them, even the fake friendlies) to fall flat on their faces.

There should be criminal prosecution, or she will beat the system. Add " lying in wait ", "Stalking" to the charges.  Compassion goes out to the mentally ill, but they are a criminal if they commit a crime.

Sorry I do not know much, it is just that I think this is right. You have said her family has tried to have her put away for a long time. While this may be true, it is not your responsibility to take that role upon yourself, except as a witness in the public prosecutor's case against her. If you will be medically able to testify.

Oh, I hope this is over for you soon Becky. Be well today.
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Thanks Send. I did think of that. PJ blocked Mom's number. I talked to my attorney again. I also talked to PJ's son. He is a criminal attorney, but does do other types of cases. He thinks I should sue the trust immediately. He says that will smoke out who in the family trust is running this sideshow. He used to be on the Board of Directors of the bank that set up the trust. He says there are 22-25 people covered by the trust. He says that 9 or 10 are mentally incompetent. I called the state Capitol to find out if detainees in the mental institution can be charged room and board. They told me they can - income based. I've talked to a friend in Boston. He is a forensic psychiatrist and has testified in big trials all over The U.S. He used to live here when his wife was getting her PhD.

I hate all of this mess. I have really big headache this afternoon.
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Becky, how hard this must be for you. I pray she is not released.
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Just when I thought she was in custody, I found out she has been released this afternoon her attorney filed something that she was coerced to sign herself into custody to avoid a trial. They will arrest her when they find her, but with my luck they will release her on bail. The university police will provide an officer with me until there is some resolution. We have an extra guard at the lake.
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I must be losing brain cells.

Every once in a while I will go into a thread here that is a few days old, and I start reading as if I never had seen the thread before. If I agree with an answer I will click on the "heart". But the "heart" doesn't count me. Say what? Turns out I had already read that answer a few days ago and had already agreed with the answer :P

Then I need to realize that I have probably read up to 50-100 answers every week, and no way I could remember them all. The "heart" thingee works because I was counted on the current answers in that thread.
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stats canada - already whined about I think. Phone calls, phone calls -finally I answered one and told them to take me off their list. They asked if I had received mail from them - a survey. I said I didn't know and didn't care. Buddy sad we will send you another one and that it was used for unemployment stats. I said "Don't bother, it will go in the garbage too." and hung up. So intrusive!!!!
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I have a whine tonite...so tired of people shooting into crowds, hurting others, or driving vans into crowds. Whatever the reason, mental instability, nefarious intent, or just plain having a childish hissy fit when things don't go their way. Did these things used to happen like this decades ago? Are there more unstable people in society? I don't remember this happening this way years ago. Seems like this "have it your way" society has caused people to have murderous temper tantrums when things don't go their way. Baby in the highchair throwing food taken to the extreme. Whatever happened to accountability, responsibility, and maturity???
Thanks for letting me get this out. Sad tonite at all the news.
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Boy,I'm with you Katie....What's with all these awful events we have all too often these days? Every time I turn on the news,there's another horrible thing......it's scary~
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Becky take care of yourself and allow yourself some extra protection. it sounds like you are. Let your lawyer do his job and go after her and the trust.. whatever it takes!
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Update: Nutty lady showed up at our old house that we are going to put on the market. Man across the street saw her. (She pulled her pants down and pooped on the front stoop. He called the police. They came and arrested her for all of the past charges, plus violating a restraining order (2nd offense) and defecating in publicj.
She is in the county jail tonight, arraignment in the morning at 9:00 am. My stepson will be burning the midnight oil getting lawsuit ready to file. Should be interesting. PJ told him to do a good job - payback for all the Harvard Law School tuition he paid.
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Go Becky!!! And go stepson!! If crapping on the stoop doesn't get her readmitted...OMG
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Becky, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Somewhere along the line, I missed the backstory on this, but it sounds terrible.

Was just looking back through posts and just a week ago, we were dealing with the ice storm - 4" of snow/ice and everything pretty much shut down for 2 days. (It takes a lot for Michigan folk to shut things down, but ice will pretty much stop us in our tracks.) Today it was 70 and sunny. Spring in Michigan!
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Susan,
It is about time you Michigan folks got a break! Happy Spring!

You deserve a break today!
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Katie,
It is so tragic, these deaths.
It makes us all needing to be more careful.
And, the families, the communities, so very sad.

If what is happening next door involves another angry bully, that makes is all that more frightening, scary, stressful. Sorry you are having to endure this Katie.

When I sold my condo, got away from the HOA people, drunk with their own hate and power, things got better. However, every community seems to have someone like that.
Narcissists, with minions and monkeys to do their intimidation of residents.
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Katie- It is an awful thing. It's a heart problem. Hardened hearts.
Their conscience is seared with a hot iron. :(
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Becky, sorry to hear this. Pooping on the stoop?!!! I am glad the police arrested her. Glad your stepson can help with this.

As far as the condo board and the atmosphere here, we are going to keep to ourselves until circumstances allow retirement and a move away. I do have an ally in some of the neighbors that the Bully has picked on for feeding ducks. He wants to create his own little utopia and everyone must comply. His getting on the board is the worst thing that could happen to all our peaceful existence here...
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Becky, glad she was arrested and your stepson is helping with lawsuit. Unbelievable!
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Too many crazies are out there hurting themselves and others. I have some sympathy for the belief that those with mental illness don't belong in institutions and that they can't be treated the same was as a rational person for the things they do, but there has to be some kind of middle ground somewhere between locking everyone up in asylums and just sending them out into the world to make it (or not) on their own. And some people are just too dangerous or the things they have done too heinous to ever be allowed out of custody.
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CWillie, I agree. There needs to be another option. This woman needs to be in a psych cell in prison. She's not totally incompetent. She knew enough to come back to my old house with 6 hours of being released. My husband and lawyer stepson and my attorney are at the hearing right now. Anxious to see what happens.
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Becky,

Hated to read about the last episode with the Nutty Lady.

Hope you get good news regarding the proceedings at the courthouse this morning.
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His refusal to help with his nighttime incontinence is driving me crazy!!! He will wear Depends but they do not absorb enough. I got a heavy-duty nighttime product, but he won't wear them because they are more like an adult "diaper". I try to restrict liquids by the late afternoon/early evening, but he insist he must have the water or soda. He can still ambulate to get up and use a bedside commode, but urinates on the floor, so I put an absorbent pad down to protect the carpet too. He often "stands" and splashes a lot and misses the commode as well. Am working so hard to keep things sanitary and protected. It is sooooo hard to keep changing the whole bed and remaking because of his stubborn refusal, and my own daily exhaustion. The new pads are washable, which is so much better for the environment, and they are quite large, so if he moves around he wil still be on the pad. The pad is just like a thin matress pad so it is not harsh at all, but I come in to check on him and he's thrown it either on the floor or folded it and hides it under the bed. I can no longer sleep in the bed-period, but sleep on the sofa, which is not that far away. At some point we will have to get rid of this King-sized bed and get either a double for him and maybe a twin for me or two twins-of course his will have bars on the sides. God! I hate this!
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She,
I'm so sorry for your situation. I feel the frustration in your post.
It's horrible that there seems to be no controlling the situation. 

I had that happen with my mother also. She'd get up in the middle of the night, take off her pj's and diaper and urinate on the bedroom floor. Thank God the floor is tile but it was still a mess plus she could easily slip in it.
Her dementia became so unmanageable, with other intolerable behaviors too (like screaming at the top of her lungs at 2am) that we finally had to place her in a Memory Care facility. Our backs and brains just couldn't do what was needed for her anymore.

Do you think it may be your time has come to have someone else do the caregiving?

God bless you in this difficult time.
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My stepson and husband went to the hearing. David, my stepson got a restraining order against the family. The police testified and showed a video from a traffic camera that the mother drove nutty lady to our old street and let her out. Also that mother had hired the new lawyer to petition to get her out of jail. David also argued that she should be denied bail because she was a danger to the community. So she did not get bail - still in jail.

In a separate hearing, David and the county prosecutor got paperwork (I don’t remember the terminology) for the bank to provide information on the family trust. David told me he should have the paperwork for the lawsuit  done on Monday morning. The prosecutor said the state has investigated for Medicaid and welfare fraud. They were found guilty had to make restitution and pay a fine. They are banned from receiving Medicaid in the future.

PJ said the nutty lady screamed and yelled, had to be restrained to go back to jail. He said the mother called him a few choice names.
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Becky,

So Nutty doesn’t just describe the lady. Her Mother drove her to your stoop? AND hired the lawyer to get her released? Then filling your husband in on the answering machine so you guys could protect yourself?!!

Sounds like your Stepson is of great help.

I am sure when “the Nutty Family” made a spectacle of themselves in court that helped your cause.

Take care of yourself.
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Becky, when you get a chance, could you give Susan and I the back story on this scary situation, what started this.... we both missed the back story.
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FF, pJ and I opened a caregiver resource center last fall. I had this woman in one of the group counseling sessions. We didn't know at the time, but she wasn't a caregiver - never had been. Lied on her application. She wanted individual counseling and I told her that was something we were not equipped to handle. She was mad about that. She showed up at our door one evening. Tried to force the door. Police came. She started standing across from our house. The police would come and she would leave. One morning I went out the front door. I didn't see her standing to the side. She hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 and I fell down the steps. Our neighbor across the street was outside and called the police. They took her to jail. She admitted herself voluntarily to the state criminal unit to avoid prosecution and jail. Her mother kept telling us that she had been trying to get her admitted. That was a lie. She hired her the lawyer and then last night drove her over to our other house that we are selling and let her out. Neighbor saw her pull down her pants down and poop on the front stoop. Called the police and they took her to county lockup. The whole crowd is nuts. This time I'm not being sympathetic to the family or her. She needs to be locked up permanently. I don't want to spend my time looking over my shoulder.
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