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Now I am POed. A couple of CNAs came in and found me on my feet so they immediately activated the damned bed alarm. So I am now restrained. Maybe when the RN comes by I can persuade him to turn it off.
Searched the Internet and can't find if they are legal in Maryland or not.
My room mate was moved this morning so I hope they don't bring some demented old lady in at 3 am.
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Veronica; why is it you always give me a good laugh? I AM sorry about the restraints; aaargh....
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Veronica, I remember back when my Dad had a bed alarm while he was in the hospital. He didn't like it, so he would set it off by just lifting himself up and the thing would blare. He showed me how he did it, then had me laughing when he said "those darn beans".
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errr...Veronica,
I think maybe you belong on the caregiver's behaving Badly thread....what were you doing up?
And can you unplug it outta the wall?Or maybe a pair of scissors.....
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Luckylu,
Tried to p.m. you, but it won't work!
Then tried to answer Gershun, and that did not work.

Maybe the new website has less glitches, because I was over there earlier today, and wrote to lots of people from the NEW!

Have you heard? I think they will do away with all of us brats if we don't post in 180 days on the "Caregiver's Behaving Badly" thread.

As for Veronica, just tell them they are doing a bad job, because you should be ambulating already. Go so far as to call the patient's rights advocate/hospital ombudsman. You could have some fun messing with them.

FF, love that idea, make the alarm go off on purpose, just at break time, Veronica.

Lol.  Never cut electrical wires with scissors.  There is a hazard of electrical shock.
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Why are there two websites?
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Veronica
Time to unleash the berserker Viking
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nursebecky58 - sorry to say, sweets is the last tastebud they have. My dad's in assisted living. At the dining hall, I watch the people push their meals around, whether it be eggs, soup and sandwich, or turkey. However, when a brownie or piece of pie shows up for dessert, they area all over it. To the point that one of the gentlemen at my dad's table accused a CNA of giving my dad a bigger piece of pie!
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MsMadge, oh AgingCare is coming out with a new website, totally different from the one we love to use. They are letting both websites run at the same time so give us time to get use to it. I hope the run both for a year or so :P I am not good with major changes in software... I use to be, but not anymore.
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I tried to go over to new site for a look, and I it said I have to log in again? I just don't feel like rooting around for my password and all... I'm already logged in here!
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What's the other site?
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Scroll above to: "Try the new aging care".
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Don't go to the other side 😳
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After my Mom died I had plans. Mom wanted me to enjoy life after over a decade of caring for her and at the end 24/7 bedridden in my home on hospice...Had a short break..then SIL dies by misadventure and leaves my husband to become an only child and MIL lives alone at 87. So far she is doing well and independent, but at that age they are fragile and need to be cared for anyhow. Her doctor says she is in good health but there is worry about her becoming more frail. I would like to move out of my home, bad memories here etc. and now can't. I had dreams of moving to a warmer place when hubby retires....I am thrown back into limbo mode. My limbos seem to go on for decades....My whine is that something bad would have to happen for something good to happen to me. This is an awful place to be..between a rock and a hard place, as the saying goes. I wonder how many caregivers care for someone for well over a decade....then get thrown right back into caregiver mode with another person. I guess that is common. I just feel myself getting older and worry that the last third of my life is lived for someone else entirely. Then I feel guilty for feeling this way. Thanks for letting me vent this gloomy, rainy morning. Hope everyone's day is good today....
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Darling Katie. Hugs.

Trying to think of an illustration.

Supposing, you were out enjoying a pleasant walk, then by pure mischance the path had a small landslide and you started tumbling down the hill, over and over, bumpety bump for hundreds of feet all the way to the bottom. Where you land, winded but okay, gather your thoughts, get to your feet, dust yourself off and then - wham! Get hit by a truck.

You're flung to the side of the road, again winded but miraculously all right, but your husband's leg is broken. You can't easily move out of the way should anything come along.

Then off in the distance you see a car coming round the corner. Is it any wonder you look at it with a strong sense of foreboding?

MIL (I wonder what impact the loss of her daughter had on her, but that's another issue) is doing well and independent. Her doctor says she is in good health.

And I can tell you that my great aunt was independent and in good health until she was 95, you know.

I think the thing is, not to meet trouble half way.

And I can't see how it helps your MIL for you and DH to go into freeze mode like rabbits in the headlights.

MIL does not need you and DH to be trapped in your house to enjoy good golden years.

Yes, she probably will need more support and eventually more hands-on care. And when the time comes, you and DH will help her access it, naturally. But you don't need to stand still and wait in order to do that.

So what I'm saying is that, battered and bruised, you can only be expected to anticipate MIL's future with dread. But it doesn't have to be as you fear. And if you hadn't been so badly bashed about, you probably wouldn't feel this apprehensive about it.

How long since the sad loss of SIL? And how long 'til your husband retires?
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CM What a perfect description of what I am feeling with the walk in the woods analogy!! SIL has been gone a bit over a year now. She was living with MIL, so we have had to step up. Hubby is ready to retire at any time... but will likely do so in the next year or so. He would never move at this point 2000 miles away if she is still with us. His cousins would never let him off the guilt trip. There is no way on this green Earth she will leave her house or the area of the cemetery where her relatives are all buried...I suppose if there is no way to get to a warmer climate we will have to find a place we like near here. What gets me is her doctor only saw her for less than 5 minutes yesterday..pronounced her in good health. How can any doctor do that this quickly. He had not run any blood tests or other tests on her...only listened to her heart through her sweater. She refuses to change doctors....ugh....
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Not really a whine but a bit of anger. Since I was mid 20's, I helped Dad with mom. My caregiving days, including both parents, came out to about 26 years. Of those last years, I was taking care of bedridden parent(s) for 17 years. My life was only fulltime work and then my shift at home(evenings/weekends).

So, I went to my first cousin's rosary twice - Wednesday night and last night. On Wednesday, another first cousin (mom's sister's daughter) who never dropped by to visit my mom who babysat her since she was a baby- had the nerve to say to me, "Wow. Finally get to see you attending." Pissed me off. I said sarcastically, "I Wonder WHY?" and I glared at her. She quickly looked away and walked away. Witch!!! I saw her again lastnight. I didn't even approach her.

At least other relatives just kept their comments to, "It's good to see you." and then hug me.
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Book, the comments and things I heard while caring for my Mom are astounding. You gave her a good answer!! Maybe it will make her think!
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Thanks, Katie. My fave sis emailed me. She said that 1st cousin should know better. I figured 1st cousin forgot that I'm the meanest one in the family. Growing up, my 7 siblings and I tended to fight and gang up on one another. Sometimes, we fought to get the biggest portion, or the best blanket, etc... I was the runt of the family - the skinniest, the shortest, the sickly child with eye glasses.... I rarely won but I made sure that they bled. It's been years, decades since I've attended outside family functions. Cousin just forgot who she was dealing with.
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Book, even though she is family and should know better she just might not understand the level of care your parents needed. When you mention dementia people picture a sweet tempered person who is forgetful, when you mention they need personal care they imagine that means helping them get in and out of a chair or the shower. People are constantly coming on the forum and saying the person they are caring for has advanced Alzheimer's when they are still walking and using the bathroom.

(And what you said to her wasn't that mean, you should have said "as if you don't know why you B**ch." LOL)
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Cwillie, my mom was diagnosed with dementia when I was in my early 20's. All of mom's siblings/children knew that Mom had Alzheimer. Mom's mom was also diagnosed with Alzheimer. My mom's siblings/family always visited grandma every weekend. Grandma even got to the stage where she accused my aunties/uncles of stealing from her. She called the police. They went to court and had to prove that they weren't stealing from their mother. Grandma even reached the stage of wheelchair confined, then bedridden.... So, my cousins from mom's side all know what Alzheimer is like. Only thing was that Grandma died faster than my mom. Mom lasted over 20 years from her diagnosis... My mom was bedridden for over 13 years. Trust me, my brother had parties during those years at his house next door (just a few feet from our house.) she knew my mom was bedridden. Her parents would visit us. When bro-of-next-door have parties, my cousins all come but they don't visit us. Their parents do - as a herd. They go to bro's parties. Meet in the yard. Then as a group, come to our house to visit mom - the parents (mom's siblings and in-laws.) My 1st cousins just stay at my brother's yard enjoying the party.

She also knew when my dad became bedridden. Everyone knew and spoke about how mean my dad was. He was mean to the end. They All Know, Cwillie, how hard it must have been for me to take care of him. Who would want to take care of a very mean man?

I laughed aloud when I read your last sentence. Kudos to you!!! =)
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P.S... Poor Grandma. When I finally had a chance to visit her, grandma was lying down but all her limbs were locked in place - as if she was sitting on a wheelchair. She was lying on her side, but her hands were stretched slightly in front of her (as if her hand is resting on an invisible wheelchair.) Her feet was also locked in sitting position. I felt soooo bad for grandma. It was obvious to me, that each of my aunties/uncles 'assigned' day to babysit their mother - meant that they kept grandma on the wheelchair all day! That's when I realized how my dad and I were taking care of mom exceptionally well.
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Ugh, cousins! I feel for you, Book.

I have one of "those" cousins too - who claimed when I started going to church that "no one needed it more than you" - I guess she thought I was the antiChrist or something - though she was the one dealing drugs out of her mother's house right under her nose when she was a teenager. She's treated me like crap my whole life, even when I idolized her as a teen - and she still does. Now that both of our mothers and fathers have passed away and I have no reason to keep her informed of anything, I don't make any special efforts to keep in touch with her and she doesn't keep in touch with me either. Doesn't bother me a bit.
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I am so exhausted. I was debating if I should ask for Friday morning off to attend my cousin's viewing. The mass is at 1pm and then the burial. If I did that, I would have to make up my hours on Saturday morning. I was so torn. However, my job stresses me to the max. I am soooo not a people-person. I dread when the phone rings. I dread when a customer walks in. I dread when one of my bosses calls my name {now what?} Today, at work, I was getting some bad chest pains...

And so I have decided that I will drop by for the Viewing at the church during my lunch hour. Drop off mine and my sister-in-Colorado's bereavement money in the gift box... I did a search on both my parents' bereavement money log sheet. My cousin who passed away did not contribute bereavement money to either of my parents. I'm not my boss. A tit for a tat when it comes to funeral etiquette. I will still contribute money. I have a very strong feeling that her and her siblings gave their bereavement money to my oldest brother on both of my parents' funeral. I checked the log sheet. Her oldest bro, who attended both of my parents funeral, did not contribute money into the bereavement box. They would never attend a funeral without contributing money. If I follow our native tradition, then I am not obligated to give bereavement money to either of my cousins since they did not contribute in the bereavement box of my parents. It would be oldest-bro's obligation to pay it back when it's their turn because he was given money.
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A fib back again this afternoon. Debating whether to go to the ER or wait till I see my new PCP in the morning. Anyway I will wait till DD gets here after work which should not be too long. DH says he has broken a rib and any movement causes pain so is not in the mood to take me to the ER.
Now a moan about Drs in general.Four months after they stopped the amiodarone and it's nasty side effects I was still out of A fib so the cardiologist did not give me the Sotolol that had worked before. Next visit he said he did not like to treat some thing that was not happening so off I went and a couple of weeks later back in a strange hospital for a week needing a cardioversion and monitoring while starting the Sotolol. Now one week later A fib back plus edema in my legs. They stopped the Lasix because I did not have any swelling (I wonder why) Now I have the swelling back - after all I do have heart failure!!!!!!!
While I was an inpatient I was started on a statin but when I saw my blood work my cholesterol levels were fine. I thought they had just been giving me my acid reflux medicine at night for some reason. When I got home I found the acid reflex med had been stopped and the statin started. Both begin with "P" and sound similar. (Protonix and Prevastatin ) - wonder how that happened.
At this point I have made my own executive decisions and changed everything. The Drs can yell at me all they want, no wonder people think the elderly are being deliberately killed off. Fortunately I have DH and DD as strong advocates. Will it never end?
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Oh no,, you just got out and home! How did hubs break a rib? Take care of yourselves
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Veronica91, I use to use those prescription acid relfux meds, then one day I started to use Tums instead due to the side effects of the prescription drugs. Tums works instantly, and i only take it when needed. I have found just before going to bed that is when the reflux will turn its ugly head :P
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Veronica, take care. I hope things can get straightened out. I don't trust doctors much anymore. My husband was A-fib for many years and on blood thinners.The cardiologist kept hoping it would go back into rhythm on it's own and this went on for years. Then he went through a couple of catheter ablations. The last $140K ablation gave out after 8 months right before my Mom died and right after my spontaneous retinal detachment. He went in the hospital for Tikosyn monitoring and they have him on that. Every once in awhile he will go A-fib and go back in rhythm after one or two regular doses of the Tikosyn. It usually happens in Winter for some reason and we think too much salt is a trigger for him. Some people say too much sugar is a trigger and then there is stress that can also be one. Everybody seems different.
I hope you can get the medication straightened out too. Take care!!
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Veronica, I hope you get to feeling better. I’ve took amiodarone for a couple of years before I had a surgery for valve problems. I took Sotolol at one time as well. A fib and valve problems. I had three ablations. They would last for a few months and then a fib back. I’ve had no problems since surgery in 2008. I also didn’t have side effects from amiodarone other than a terrible cough. I had the cough with Vssotec too. Hope you’re on the mend soon.
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Veronica, I wish you had a strong, hulky looking dude to take with you to all your medical appointments. Not that you aren't able but maybe the Doctors would be clearer and more solicitous if they had the fear of getting pummeled by a big man with a mean face. In fact, I think that's an idea for a new business Burly Medical Advocates for elderly people" It could work. Trouble is most elderly people are barely making ends meet as it is so it would have to be a non-profit company. Reminds me of once when my Mom hired a junk removal company named "Two Big Men with Good Hearts" She said they should have changed the name to "Two Fat Lazy Creeps with Bad Attitudes" LOL

I made the mistake of working out yesterday after drinking a Starbucks. I had major heartburn and was seeing stars when I finished. I always overdo my workouts in the beginning. I forget that I'm not 25 anymore. I was so winded and tired afterward that I nearly didn't mke it across the street to my place.
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