I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
My mom has episodes of repeatedly saying help me, help me but never knows with what - there are times when she'll keep it up for hours
Last night, I arrived late to her facility - 10 ish and found her awake and semi crying
I asked her what was wrong and she just said my body
I took her temp got her something to drink but she didn't want a Tylenol
Finally it dawned on me that she was probably on her side for too long laying on her bad shoulder
Once we got her changed and repositioned she fell asleep
Happy Birthday, Frazzled!
Me: I'd like a box of 20 Timbits, cake only please.
Girl: Sorry, what?
Me: A box of 20 cake Timbits, please. Just the cake ones.
Girl: Sorry?
Me: I WOULD LIKE 20 TIMBITS PLEASE, ALL CAKE TIMBITS.
Girl: Just a sec please.
*silence* (I think she was asking someone. SHE PUT ME ON HOLD AT THE DRIVE-THRU.)
Girl: We don't have cake Timbits, we only have old fashioned plain, sour cream glaze, and chocolate.
Me: Those ARE cake Timbits.
Girl: Sorry, what?
Me: THOSE *ARE* CAKE TIMBITS!!!
Girl: Um, ok. Anything else?
Me: Small black coffee please.
Girl: Ok, and what would you like in your coffee?
ARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
I'm pretty sure Monty Python could get a skit out of the time I'm having with this Timmy's.
This is the 3rd time in two weeks the people taking the order have NO IDEA what a cake donut is. The other times - we got a mix of cake and yeast the first time, and the 2nd time I tried to explain the difference ("you know, the firm ones, not the squishy ones?"), then gave up and just asked for them by name ("old fashioned plain," etc.).
HOW THE EFF DO YOU WORK IN A *DONUT SHOP* AND NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CAKE AND YEAST DONUTS??????
I mean, this is, like, the Great Donut Debate of all time: which is better, cake or yeast?
The scoring indicates that the active medication is equally distributed throughout the pill.
Open the umbrella after it's been hanging unused on the hook by the door all winter - BEFORE you use it for the first time in the spring. Upside down, closed umbrellas can make a nice home for a little creepy-crawly.
Apologies to the neighbors who heard me shriek when I was half-way down the sidewalk and it dropped out of the umbrella into my face, followed by a few not-so-nice words, and for the awkward 2-step dance I did as I stomped that sucker flat.
#SorryNotSorrySpider
Susan your story about the spider is the stuff of my nightmares! I've been known to freak out about spiders. I don't know what happened. When I was a youngster I was the go- to spider killer. I feel bad killing anything but hey, I never claimed to be Gandhi.
I once barely escaped serious injury when I opened the back door to let the dog out in the early morning and a rather large wood spider made a kamikaze dive straight off the top of the door (where he'd apparently spent the night, crawling in there from the outdoors), straight down in front of my face. I was standing on a small landing at the top of the basement stairs, did a crazed ballet spin, dip and twist worth of Baryshnikov and managed to grab the railing by the stairs to keep from taking a header down to the bottom, where a brick chimney probably would have knocked my lights out pretty darn well. Twisted the heck out of my knee and hobbled around for days, but otherwise survived that one.
Then there was the spider in the tub...
I was living alone with my daughter at the time, and she was very young - less than 2 years old if I remember right. (She's 30 now.) We had a wee little apartment at the top of a house in the country.
One day, I was cleaning, so I had several cleaning supplies in a little tote that I was carrying around with me from room to room. As I entered the bathroom and was cleaning in there, I heard small, strange noise. Tapping. Very, very faint tapping and a teeny little "scritch-scritch" sound. It was just barely audible, and seemed to be coming from the tub. I pulled the curtain aside, and there was the biggest, hairiest spider I'd ever seen in my life. I mean, this thing could be a tarantula's little brother - it wasn't as big as one, but running close second. (Found out later it was a Wolf Spider - the largest type of spider native to that state - and it was in MY tub - go figure! The body is usually about 2" long and the leg span is 4" - but when you don't like spiders, fear makes those sizes just about double in your mind...LOL)
So, being absolutely freaked out at this thing in my tub, I naturally looked around for something to kill it.
Plunger? No - I envisioned it climbing up the handle and coming after me.
Turn the water on in the tub? No - the danged thing could probably swim, or would come back up out of the drain later to seek revenge.
Cleaning supplies? YES! Ok, so what do I have...window cleaner? Not sure that would stop him or just piss him off. Toilet bowl cleaner? Well, it would likely kill him but could damage the finish on my tub. Lemon furniture polish? Ok - so that's going to have to do. It should suffocate him pretty quickly.
Armed and ready - SPRAYYYY SPRAY SPRAY SPRAY SPRAYYYYYYYYY SPRAY SPRAY SPRAYYYY SPIT SPUTTER....empty polish can. Spider FREAKS OUT, blinded and inhaling lemon fumes and probably swallowing them too - and starts CLIMBING THE SIDE OF THE TUB quickly and efficiently for having so much foamy furniture polish clinging to him. He escapes the tub and starts across the floor, leaving a white foamy trail behind him. He makes it about 1/2 way across the floor before collapsing and dying in a pile of foam.
I imagine his little spider headstone would have read, "RIP Herman. A good spider to the end, and when he left this world, he was shiny clean and lemony fresh."
Just can't do flying, stinging things. I used to watch the show Fear Factor where they would put someone in a tank with wasps or scorpions or something as part of the challenge to win the grand prize money. I think I would have a heart attack.
I have a story. I was sleeping one night and my cat at the time who used to sleep on the pillow next to my head. (I was single at the time) woke me up. She was all excited about this strange bug right near my head. I jumped out of bed and totally ransacked my bedroom looking for this thing. I knew I wouldn't sleep until I found it. I have no idea what kind of bug it was but I had bought some shoes the week before and the box said made in Brazil, so I'm thinking it could be some freaky creature from Brazil. So I ended up tracking it to the kitchen. It went under my microwave. I think this thing had brains cause it seemed to know what my next move was gonna be. It dodged me and went under my stove. I couldn't reach it but like you Susan, I grabbed the only thing I could find, HAIRSPRAY!!! I think I sprayed half a bottle under my stove. The bug didn't show it's face again that night so I went to bed and stuffed a towel up against the bottom of my bedroom door just in case. The next morning I crept out of my bedroom and cautiously made my way into the kitchen. Didn't see anything so I went and washed my face. I went back to the kitchen and there was the bug laying dead in the middle of the kitchen floor. It was almost like it waited till I got up, struggled into the kitchen, said" You win" and then died. I kind of almost had a little respect for it going that way. But no, I didn't have a funeral, there were no bagpipes playing and I didn't sing Amazing Grace or Oh Danny Boy. I was just glad the little fu*ker was gone to be honest!
I feel so unimaginative
Last night there was a big spider on the wall above the tub
I folded a Kleenex in half
Swatted him off the wall
Turned the water on
And watched him swirl down the drain
Anywhere else and I would have picked up my mini shop vac and sucked him up
One of my first jobs was in a similar chain coffee shop, basically a Timmies knock-off. The soups were brought in frozen, the icings and fillings came in cans, and most everything else came from bags of dry mix, but at least there was a baker whipping up the muffins and scones and doughnuts fresh every night, on site. They were even allowed to get creative and invent their own doughnuts. The back was a working bakery. We (the counter staff) had our own steel table back there, where we filled/iced/powdered the doughnuts ourselves, and grated the cheese for the scones. I guess there's not enough profit margin in that, compared to trucking everything in frozen!
I actually phoned the manager to tell her she needed to make sure her staff knows the difference between cake and yeast doughnuts! Sheesh. It's like Doughnut Shop 101.
All your insect stories remind me of my BFF - she says she's not afraid of spiders, she's afraid of surprise spiders!
I let them live. My cats are indoor cats, so spider season is toy season for them!
My best experiences with bugs were in Mexico (they grow 'um BIG there). But, from what I've found, they are slower (so easier to kill!)
The first experience was in the small coastal pueblo where I met hubs. When I woke up in the open air "palapa" (a thatched roof dwelling), a snake was curled up in the corner. Hubs took care of that one with a broomstick and hurled him down the hill. I went to the potty and there was a beetle in the sink (he handled that one too). I took a shower in an open air bathroom and hubs pointed out that there was a tarantula on the opposite side of the half wall of the shower! Shortest bathing I've ever done!
We went to breakfast and passed an Amarillo on the trail. At night, there were 3 or 4 "levels" of spider webs overhead across the walking path with their "architects" waiting for their next meal.
One night after moving to Puerto Vallarta, I awoke to a scratching feeling on my left forearm. It was a cucaracha (cockroach) burrowing into me. I screamed and threw my arm in the air. Hubs said "she" was trying to lay "her" eggs in a warm place! OMG, I was awake all night, shivering on the sofa.
Fortunately, Tijuana isn't humid and I've never had a bug in the 5 years we've been here.
Ahhh Mexico!
I remember very vividly the time my grandmother told me of the large cockroaches that they had to deal with when she lived in Arizona - and the time she woke up and found one drinking out of the corner of her eye. OMG....I'd have moved to freaking Alaska to get away from that. Just confirmed for me that I never, ever want to live somewhere that has bugs like that. Nope, nuh-uh, never. Big ol' pile of NOPE.
Fortunately, I've never had to deal with anything like that - just the stupid spiders.
Did I ever tell you all that I play a mean game of bat badminton? LOL
So when mom was asleep this afternoon, I snuck out to go pick up a giant indoor palm plant I've had on hold at the garden centre. This is to be mom's main Mother's Day present. I picked it out over a week ago, but there was no way to keep it hidden. So they tied orange "sold" tape on it and I arranged with best guy friend (who has an Astrovan) to help me get it today.
So in the 30 minutes I was out, mom woke up and decided she needed to use the bathroom. Except she didn't make it. So there was poop on the bed, poop on the carpet, poop in the bathroom....you know the drill. And of course mom was sitting on the bed with no pants or Depends on.
It was a half hour before home support was due. I put a fresh Depends on mom and left the rest till home support could help me. (Eff that, I killed my back getting a 7 foot palm plant up here.) In the end, the worker told me not to worry and did everything, and I only feel a tiny bit guilty about that.
BLACK HUMOUR TRIGGER WARNING:
If this turns out to be mom's last Mother's Day, this is probably what I'll remember.
Poop, there it is
Poop, there it is
Chaka kaka Chaka kaka
I'm the only one of 4 who visits mom in memory care.
But every time I see her she talks about my sister who "Lives upstairs" truth be told my sister hasnt visited our mother for over a year. It hurts that she "sees" my sister every where
I'm not sure how to react and it makes me angry
Plus I am still recovering from a bad workplace injury, and I'm in pain all the time - I feel like it would be way more than I could handle right now: packing her up, dealing with her stuff, selling her apartment, getting her into a facility, and monitoring the quality of care there. Coping with poo now and then is kind of the lesser of two evils!
Vinegar as a cleaner/de-stink-ifier is amazing, by the way.