Follow
Share
Read More
CWillie,
Wishing your Mom the best on this day, and you Cwillie. Another milestone, a day to recall maybe all the good years?

99.

I am sentimental, even about other's birthdays being celebrated. When I have my Endlish Muffin with chocolate butter spread on top, I will respectfully say a little prayer for you, and for her comfort.
(6)
Report

cwillie - Happy Birthday to your Mom !!!

MsMadge - Stay safe !!
(6)
Report

Did someone change the name of this thread?
(0)
Report

All the whining is going on elsewhere - I think over on the I hate my narc parent/family threads where everyone hates their life and care recipients.


The site has gotten so quiet lately, even the new questions are mostly about stuff I can't comment on. The only constant chatter is in Dorker's thread, I check there every once in a while to see if anything has changed but I don't find the monologues and the endless drama as compelling as everyone else seems to.
(6)
Report

When I stopped in at the NH this morning mom was sound asleep in the lounge - head back and mouth open - with a big blob of applesauce and medication on her tongue. I let them know I was not pleased.
(6)
Report

Jesus, CW! What if she'd yawned? I bet you did give them a few well-chosen words. In fact, I hope they're still blushing.

Have just spent fifteen minutes bu**ering about online to pick up a stupid SMS message my stupid ex tried to send to my stupid-not-smartphone. Whoopee doo. It is a picture of an announcement in the newspaper I was just about to go and buy before he sidetracked me. Well worth the effort.😑
(3)
Report

cw - that is very negligent. Belated happy birthday to your mum. The narc threads are getting some attention these days. One constant in life is that things change.
(7)
Report

Well now I am very very confused

The heart Drs say drastically limit fluid intake.
The kidney Drs say drink 8 glasses of water every day

The dietitian says eat as much protein as possible to build muscle strength.
The Dr writes an order for cardiac diet purried if necessary. Anyone fancy an English muffin for breakfast.
Maybe lunch will be better. Lift the lid and there are three bowls I orange 1 green and the third brown - remember no salt.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Apple sauce for desert "ER no thanks" I hate apple sauce especially unsweetened. A nice cup of tea is offered. Where I come from we make the tea with boiling water and add sugar and not fat free milk. A cup of luke warm water with a lonely tea bag wating expectantly does not cut it.
Now there is a coffee stand in the front hall that makes beautiful hot tea. Can't go down there of course because I will set the stupid bed alarm off. Maybe DD will come in today bearing banned goods and fresh tea.

Been progressing very well with PT and OT so they keep pushing for more because they never expected this much progress. I keep telling them to back off because too much pushes me into A Fib. Well that actually happened yesterday and there was general panic all around. Not from me I hasten to add because I have dealt with this so often. No I did not want to go to the ER again.

It did however get me out of having the OT give me a shower. She did not want to chance anything. We have been managing the shower all this time first with the help of DD and L but now L and I manage alone and L knows just how I like to do things. Now we have to think up an excuse for next Friday which will be the last visit.

I thank the Lord every day that I don't have dementia and can still speak for myself. I really feel for those poor souls who can't think for themselves but just want everything to stop so they can get off the round about.

That's my whine for today. I am still confused but doing it my way.
(13)
Report

😢Oh Veronica that tea sounds like cruel and unusual punishment.

How about: "a little of what you fancy"?
(2)
Report

At least they put whatever it was into 3 separate bowls and not altogether on one plate Veronica. Did you taste test any of it?

I've always wondered why they don't include more of the foods that might seem normal in a pureed diet like smoothies, soups, stews, puddings, custard etc instead of attempting to modify foods that just don't translate very well - pureed chicken sandwich with pureed caesar salad anyone?
(4)
Report

Cwillie
I hope you went Viking on them - I don’t allow meds if mom’s not awake - easy way to aspirate if it gets stuck in her throat while she’s asleep
(3)
Report

oh Veronica dear

I remember the first time mom was served purée- it looked awful but somehow smelled like real food- that was in a very good hospital

the purée at hoca however is unrecognizable and is often cold - lid or not

I hope you’re home soon and doing it your way

love ya
(2)
Report

Well another interesting development - mom is missing a tooth, I can't swear it was there yesterday but I'm pretty certain it was! Mom only had 4, and now 3, bottom front teeth and I knew they were very fragile. I said nothing because I know nothing will be done (the mobile dentist only comes twice a year so I'll have to consult her outside dentist during office hours) and I'm curious to see if anyone makes note of it and informs me.
(4)
Report

eee gads, cwillie

unfortunately I doubt they noticed
(2)
Report

On Friday mom agreed to move into an assisted living apartment, have had multiple calls today telling me she’s not moving, she’s changed her mind. She refuses in home care, don’t know what to do.
(2)
Report

Mfreemam, have you guys found a place that she likes? If so, you might talk to the manager and see if you could come up there again for a second look around, and maybe in time for a fun activity and/or a meal with some of the other residents. If she has a good, fun experience and meets some nice people, it may help ease her mind a little about moving.
(4)
Report

Definite whine moment right now. Our a/c had gone out on Friday evening and we had spent over 20 hours in an 87 degree house. They came out and fixed it on Sat as a health emergency. At 1150p tonight it went out again and is already 82 in here. The a/c is doing the same thing that it did on Friday. So another sleepless night in hot temps. Will be on the phone, to our after market warranty co and the company that came out and worked on it, first thing in the morning.
(3)
Report

Post continued.... Grrrr… my honey is complaining that he (not we) have to tolerate a night of heat!!!! Then has the nerve to give me a hard time about my hearing!! Ugh.... I am almost to the point of being so done with it!!

I want my "old" honey back!
(5)
Report

I'm lying in bed sweating it's so hot and it's going to be hotter tomorrow- it's still over 85 in here
(4)
Report

MsMadge...OMG, I can empathize. I am not sure where you live, but I know it is supposed to be 99-102 degrees outside today. It is 80 right now here and is over 85 in our house. Do you have a/c or fans? If not try calling your local fire department (sometimes they have fans or a/c units and can help- not sure if they have them there). We are in Texas and I know that sometimes here they have them.
(3)
Report

This morning I stopped at the NH at the end of bkft and asked the kitchen for some thickener so I could add it to mom's OJ. A short time later the director of food services came out to ask why I needed the thickener, I explained that mom had been coughing a lot with her honey thick fluids and did better with pudding thick fluids. I told her that I had already talked to the dietitian and nothing had changed and I intended to bring it up at the care plan meeting at the end of the month. She proceeded to lambaste me for not making "my mother's choking a high enough priority" and told me to speak with the Dr. I told her yeah right, mom had been in the NH for a year and I hadn't met the man. Excuse me, I spoke with the dietitian and with an RN and nothing was changed (not to mention all you have to do is spend time in the dining room to hear coughing coming from various people at lunch time), don't blame ME.
(7)
Report

Still upset and getting angrier by the minute. How DARE she! I have learned to choose my battles and have been able to work around their bureaucratic systems, what happens to all those whose family never eats with their loved one or who don't have the knowledge to even ask for changes?
(8)
Report

The DFS was most certainly blaming the wrong person, CW.

I can't imagine what she was thinking, unless it was that she was ruffled to think she might get the blame and was pre-emptively unloading it on the nearest available person. I've noticed in our local health care settings too that when there's a problem, no matter what sort, the reaction of certain staff members is instantly to look for someone to blame for it. It makes me a bit sick, actually, it's so stupid and counterproductive and pathetic; but that's what happens when an organisation become so tightly regulated people aren't able to exercise any common sense at all.

Well. Did you get the thickener all right? And might it be worth picking up a tub of it from your local pharmacy for in case?

What happens to people who don't have anyone looking out for them... H'm. Hey, relax! As long as the forms were filled in correctly it doesn't matter, right?
(7)
Report

I locked horns with this woman when mom first was living there and have pretty much avoided her ever since. She is one of those people who manage to take your words and twist their meaning - when she asked about making changes I told her it wasn't high on my list of priorities right now (meaning discussing it with her right at that moment in the public dining room). She immediately widened her eyes in shock and repeated the line about "you don't think your mother's choking is a high priority?" I tried to shut down the conversation and she went on the offensive. After stewing a while I phoned the DOC and let her know I wasn't pleased with any of it.

(And I already have my own can of thickener that I usually take into the dining room, it certainly hasn't been a secret that I want her drinks thicker!)
(6)
Report

((((((cw)))))) that is atrocious, I would report it to whoever is the head there. Is it not their job to monitor your mum (and others) and provide for their needs???? How DARE she indeed!!!!

Just read your latest post. Glad you reported it. She sounds like a major trouble maker.
(6)
Report

The thing is, sometimes you can turn these harridans into positives; "so , tell me, how can I get this addressed? I've tried my best and can't seem to get to the right folks'?
(7)
Report

Unfortunately I'm not conversationally adept, people like this woman tend to turn me into a mumbling idiot - I can't think fast enough and when backed into a corner tend to either flee or if flight isn't possible I get angry and/or teary.

And Barb I've been told to just bring all my concerns to the RN on duty, but the reality is that means waiting for the nurses that actually have empathy and people skills to be on duty and then standing at the (public) nurse's station begging for their attention.
(5)
Report

CW, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Your mom is very lucky to have you to look out for her. Sounds like that woman was just trying to pass the buck.

I know what you mean, I cry when I get angry too and I can't think straight, so my first instinct is to want to flee.
(2)
Report

CWillie,
Start with standing up straighter, take a deep breath, take 1/2 step towards the offensive, intrusive person, look her in the eyes, say nothing as you count to 15.

Have a practiced phrase you can call upon:
"That's interesting."
"That's interesting, what are you going to do about it?"
"That's interesting why you would say that".

Sorry if this is not helpful. I actually flunked all my self-assertiveness training classes. My responses would be like yours: No words to respond assertively; get angry and tearful, want to retreat, but still angry later.
(7)
Report

Remember Andrew Dice Clay? Use one of his rhyme's to distract her and then pummel her with the truth.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider who sat down beside her and said
"What's in the bowl Bi*ch?"

But seriously CWillie, I'm not making light of your problem.
I remember going to one of my Mom's care meeting's and they didn't even
know my Mom's neck arteries were almost completely clogged. I forget what the medical terminology is for this but they should have definitely have known about it.

I have no problem with confrontation anymore. Ever since I confronted my Narc sis who always intimidated me, I've become quite adept at it. Especially when you have the truth on your side.
(5)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter