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i got tired of our second hospice nurse dropping in without calling first . i finally asked her to call ahead even if it was only by a few minutes . in hindsight the nurses were both flaky . one talked to mom like she was a child and both made snap judgements about me . i was taking care of ordering , obtaining and dispensing meds , cooking good meals and propping mom up thru her BP mood fluctuations . things got better when i learned to make them answer to mom and i instead of us answering to them .. thats the most important thing i learned from it . they are guests in your home and need to act accordingly . i never questioned their medical performance , only their mannerism .
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Thanks Veronica....actually it is the nurse who is popping in for her convenience..the bathing aid is great at coming about the same time on MWF...today I was taken aback when the nurse told me once she saw we were on her way home she decided she would save our visit for the last one of the day...I was so surprised by that I just stood there looking goofy I'm sure. Also the ex mother in law was there talking the whole time and about a totally different topic so I was trying to hear two different conversations at the same time. I am always amazed at how grown adults conduct themselves...and I agree with Captain as well that they are guests in our home. As today's nurse is a fill in for our regualr one, I will know from now on that we are her last one and so will just do my thing the rest of the day. Since I'm used to her coming right after the bathing aid it aggravated me a lot today because it ruined my schedule...that won't happen again. I can't wait to get my meds...I definitely think they will help smooth out my moods..just hoping they will prescribe the ones my former doctor had me on..those are the only ones that worked for me...ever..
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I must say I envy those of you with a scrip for Xanax. I live in East Tennessee and, having no insurance, I am reduced to having to go thru Cherokee Health Systems. They know my situation but will not prescribe Xanax or anything like that. They did call in a scrip for my depression...generic Zoloft (can't remember the name) but I didn't fill it. Afraid of side effects & bad experiences with anti-depressants in the past. I need SOMETHING! Developed insomnia, nerves are shot from caretaking both aunt & uncle with AZ, dementia or whatever. Driving me crazy...now high blood pressure at times. Their children are useless & no help whatsoever.
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Once again, I missed the AD/Support meeting. :/ Even though they told me on Tuesday that it was tomorrow, Wednesday at 4:30 p.m.. It wasn't. It was cancelled due to an emergency and I at that time, WAS NOT on their email list. The guy apologized and said it was a nice large group. So, I just sat in the parking lot and cried for awhile. Maybe next month I'll get to one.

The Glenn Campbell song had me in tears as well. Such a sad, yet awesome song. Thanks again for sharing and yes, it does put our situation in a better perspective, but... doesn't make it less difficult.

1butterfly, it would be wise to fill that script.. that alone will help ease some of the anxiety and even you out again. That and it sounds like you need a nice long break!
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I don't know if I am just plain tired or have become really lazy. I think my own medical issues have finally caught up with me, wearing me down, or maybe I am finally growing a spine, don't know. I hope I have convinced my parents I cannot drive them where ever they want [they still live alone in their home]. Grumble all they want, they had a choice to move to a retirement community that has transportation, but they said no. Go to Plan B, if it exists.

My parents can get home delivery of groceries, sorry that delivery isn't free but that is how it is, delivery people aren't going to drive to their house for free. I will still place their order if they want, because I know Dad still is refusing to get off of dial-up and go high speed for the Internet.

As for their mail at the post office box, last time I went there there was one piece of junk mail, sorry not going across town for junk mail, if they want their mail, they can call a taxi or transfer all the mail to the nice mailbox at the end of their driveway.
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Good for you freqflyer...and JeanetteB I will give your advice some serious thought. I prefer to first try a natural way to even out as I believe in giving holistics & natural ways a chance first. I have begun taking magnesium.
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My Whine Moment of the Day is : My mom has a UTI she has three more doses of antibiotics left. She has been meaner that a rattlesnake at everyone today was my turn !!! I am an only child I go see her everyday she has been in the Nursing Home for 1 year and 8 months. She is 85 has a ton of health issues broke her hip in March now she can no longer walk, etc.... Today I walked in her room and she was in a fit. Where had I been (was there 2 yesterday) How could I leave her there? it went on and on I argue with her can you believe that??? I finally went and got the charge nurse who does very well with her. I left and came back to work... Seriously, my feeling were hurt then I got pissed now I just wished it would end. I have been her caregiver in some form for 14 years..today I could have smothered with a pillow. I go everyday. I told her that when I am not there I am at work then I go home come back the next day go to work....blah blah blah... I am tired and right now just DONE !!! I realize that she cannot walk, her skin is just so thin she keeps bandages on her. They have to use a lift to take her to the bathroom...I hate it for her I really do. Her mind is failing and has failed at a very rapid rate since she broke her hip in March. I get it...she has always had a mean streak it had gotten better, but it is back now with a vengeance. I know the UTI could be the cause of some of it.. enough of that just needed to vent..........today was a major suck...
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2tsnana, so sorry! Sending BIG hugs...
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Came home and received a call from Hospice and since she has declined in 60 days they are releasing her....what a day..it has got almost comical.
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Has not declined
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Yes hospice can do that because they have to justify each patient. At this time it won't alter much especially as you are there every day and keeping an eye on things. They will re admit her again if she does decline.
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Visited my parents house late this afternoon... I peeked out the back window of their home and noticed my Dad has his electric lawn mower out... say what?... the person who does their mowing and mine did both our yards yesterday. Oh Dad said he was mulching leaves. Dad is 93 and can barely walk around except with a rolling walker.

Oh well.... guess he wants to feel useful and be outside for some fresh air. Might as well just ignore things like this, not worth being worried over.... [sigh]. If it wasn't for this website and some insight that I gained over the months reading here, I probably would have had a major meltdown seeing that mower outside.
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kind of a sad day . i dropped the insurance on the old 51 chevy truck . its been my main mode and work truck for 18 years . im gonna keep it around here but the little sonoma does everything i need now plus its 4 wd . the over the cab toolbox and handmade bed , plus the red and black paint scheme like the old 51 , have made it as recognized now as the old truck tho not nearly as beloved by the county folk . i go to look at masonry jobs now and people admit theyre daydreaming -- they dont have any money . i cant run that old 2 ton monster on daydreams -- get some money b*tches and ill fire it back up ..
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FF hope dad does not run over the power cord!!!
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Captain, does it look like this?: info.detnews/pix/autos/2009/mhrawarren09/51chevtruck.jpg

Awesome !!
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Veronica91, I am more worried about Dad tripping over the power cord :P

Captain, oops, the link won't work.... anyhow, it was a restored red and black 1951 Chevy pick-up truck.
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Here's a whine. I just had a freakin massive heart attack. I have 4 siblings. Only 1 has stepped up, and I think he will have a heart attack soon as well. I have been taking care of Mom for 2 1/2 years. The day after my heart attack was the first day off I've had in 9 months. Mom has been out of my care for 2 weeks. Her health, both physically and mentally has deteriorated extremely fast. She was taken from the nursing home to the hospital tonight for a blood transfusion.....WTF? She was anemic when I moved here. Her hemoglobin numbers have been great for over 2 years. As a matter of fact her DR cut her iron pills in half 2 months ago. The phone and mass texts don't stop. I was admonished for something I NEVER said, because MOM is CONFUSED! DUH! I am over it! I went out and bought a pack of cigarettes and have smoked almost all of them. What the h*ll would have happened if I had died???? Well PRETEND I did and leave me the h*ll alone!!!! Ok, done ranting. Cell phone is off and land line is off the hook. I Need REST!
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And a Valium.
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Boni~so sorry, the last thing you need right now but completely understand your concern for your mother and stress involved. Please try to detach and get the rest you need.
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Thanks sharyn, I think I'm more upset with myself for smoking right now, and I'm looking for someone or something to blame. I'm going to finish them off and start clean in the morning.
I'm glad someone was here this late to give me a little support. Just a rough day. Mostly I feel better just getting things off my chest. Thanks.
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boni im sure smoking is hard on the lungs and coronary arteries but just like marijuana in the past, when the govt decides to demonize something they resort to blatant lies and exxagerations and end up losing credibility . the dangers of secondhand smoke is one such example . if you can pit nonsmokers against smokers then youve effectually applied pressure to smokers from their closest friends and family . i know tobacco eventually kills but so does stress from stopping your own life in its tracks and caring for an elder . especially a demented one . my phsyc doc asked me recently at what point did i relapse on booze . ( was on a sober streak for about 5 years ) . after thinking about it for a few days i asked her if a diabetic who cheats is considered a relapser or a person with high blood pressure has an extra sprinkle of salt . have they relapsed ? guess im just saying ' everything is going to kill everybody ' .
ive bought two 30 packs of beer in the last 60 days . a bag of tobacco lasts me no less than 60 days . thats the equivalent of 3 cigarettes per day . i smoke it in a pipe . ya know what will probably kill me ? kidney damage from strong hepc chemo meds ive used years ago , maybe dementia in 25 years , maybe a deer hitting my motorcycle , maybe falling to my death from a tall chimney . if you want to give up tobacco i wish you the best of luck but im betting caregiving and maybe too much man made vegetable fat in your died have caused you more harm than tobacco . animal fat is an important nutrient in our diet but our bodies have no means of dissolving vegetable oils , bile wont even break it down . thats why i lean it out during each work day . my body gets hungry enough to burn fibered wheel bearing grease if it could get it . im not the poster boy for clean living but i could be for physically fitness .
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ff, my truck was , when new , a 51 chev dump truck . looks like any 51 chev truck except with 20 inch semi tires . its been a rolling billboard for my masonry business for dam near 2 decades . the 91 sonoma is every bit as unique now tho . it has a 4 inch lift kit , homemade work bed and the same paint scheme as the old chev . its becoming quite recognizable too but people still ask where the h*ll the old chevy has been hiding . i cut firewood when masonry is slow and the 4 wd sonoma is at home in the forest . the economy is changing , i have to adapt even if its temporary .
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I don't know about any body else but I always take my whine with a good cheese☺️
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Boni shame on you!
No not for buying the cigarettes or even smoking them. That was a temporary lapse. you will get over that.
The shame on you is for dwelling on the "What if I hadn't ever picked up a cigarette"-------------------- Well you did and you will stop again if it is important enough to you, so draw a line on the past and start moving forward. It's yesterday it's over, as Bob said it could have happened anyway.
send a text and email to everyone "What part of I've just had a massive coronary don't you understand? leave me the phuck alone to recover"
What you need right now is a couple of weeks at a health farm where you can have a daily massage, gentle exercise, light swimming, good healthy food, plenty of fresh air and no contact with the outside world. Could you afford this? how about wealthy brother paying? it would be a good investment for him. You have certainly earned it. I am sure Mom has declined it has only been two weeks and she was moved with no preparation in an emergency and has not had time to aclimatize. If you resume your duties don't be guilted into doing it at least for six weeks and only then if you feel strong enough. You have a lot of healing to do and that could take 6 - 12 months
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Boni, I hope the moderators will leave this link up until you see it. It is an abstract from the Journal of Cardiology, which is a serious medical journal. Going cold turkey on tobacco is very hard. Doctors often advise patients not to use nicotine, because of potential cardiovascular effects. I think the risks are small, particularly when compared to the risk of smoking again. Many people do well with the lozenges, since they satisfy nicotine cravings quickly and occupy the mouth for a while. Maybe you can discuss this article abstract with your doctor.
http://content.onlinejacc.org/article.aspx?articleid=1121737

Moderators: please leave the link for a day or two. It is the link to a serious journal article.
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Just noticed that it was the entire article. That is even better.
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I rarely had any quality time with anyone who had dementia or Alzheimer's. My boss would bring his wife into the office once in a great while, and before I even knew she had Alzheimer's I thought she was a beautiful woman who was terribly shy [she had an uncanny resemblance to Liz Taylor]. I did learn about Alzheimer's from my boss as time went on and all the issues he was going through. He would tell me everything.

Then it dawned on me, no offense, not to compare people to pets but I thought this was interesting.... I had a very elderly cat who the Vet said she had dementia [not uncommon in cats] who if she woke up in a room and no one was there, she would cry out in a panic. There was one hallway in the house where she tend to get lost, also crying out. And she would forget where the litter boxes were. She passed on years ago at 21. I am now thinking there is a common parallel with memory issues, be it people or pets. Now one of my other older cats is starting to *get lost* in the same hallway. My other two older cats so far haven't had this issue.
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Taking care of parents...full time...had to retire...love them dearly, but it is a death sentence. My family members go on with their lives...and one brother helps a little, very little and he lives in their house. I get tired of hearing myself b*tch inside my head. I hope my parents don't live too much longer...not just for me, but for them also...NO QUALITY OF LIFE...no reason to be alive. This myth of the Golden Years...applies to very few people as they age...and still...there will come a time that you CAN'T take care of yourself! I'd rather be dead and be in heaven!! ok...feeling better for now! lol
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Thanks for the support Y'all. I finished the pack and will not buy another, at least for today. Last night Mom had a emergency blood transfusion, endoscopy, colonoscopy and it turns out she has a hernia. I have no idea who OK'd this and frankly do not care. I am going for a massage and a little shopping and the 4 of them can handle everything. I am DONE. For the first time in years...today BONI comes first.
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Boni I feel that quitting cigarettes is harder than anything else since they are so readily available. I am on wellbutrin and on the 23 of Oct it will be 1 year since I quit cigarettes, hopefully for good. I quit for 10 years when my son was 9 months old and stated again after all the time. I have quit for a year at a time, but seriously I am on hormone replacement and I have a bit of heart disease so I know I cannot smoke, My point was that Wellbutrin helps get rid of the cravings and I know for sure because Before last year I was on it and stopped then I changed to Prozac and I will be damned if the cravings came back twice as strong. If you do not feel comfortable taking meds, I have tried the nictrol inhaler which worked. But the meds have done the best. I dont even think about it. Good luck to you and do not beat yourself up over that pack. It was moment, thats all. Hugs
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