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CW, one of the casualties of an illness like PD is friends drifting off because you can't do some of the things you use to. One of his friends is terrific at communicating with me about events he plans. And he makes a real effort to adapt things so DH can participate. This other man, however, doesn't feel there's a need to adapt his way of handling things even a little. He knows very little of life with PD, yet feels free to comment on how we handle things. I'm just venting because trying to get him to change things is like trying to teach a pig to sing - you make the pig mad and it still can't sing.
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Just venting … If family won't help me with my leaking bathroom sink (faucet & pipe) and lastnight our leaking kitchen sink (the pipe was shooting out water), I will throw in the towel and call the plumber tomorrow.  I'll have to ask if they accept credit card over the phone.  Kitchen sink pipe was spouting so much water, I could tell that if we waited till morning, the floor would be flooded.  We went to the water control valve and lowered it enough to be able to flush the toilet. It won't work if we need to shower - we would have to increase the water - which would also increase the sink pipe spouting water.  Lastnight (Friday, 10:30pm) oldest bro came over and said that he will fix it today.

Tomorrow, Sunday, is my laundry day - for my work clothes. I just texted SIL asking if they're going to work on my sinks.  It's 2pm...   It's so frustrating.  They'll do their family stuff and then tonight will try to fix the sinks ...then say, oh, since the store is closed, we'll fix it tomorrow ...or next weekend... whatever.  I would fix it myself but I tend to break things or take things apart and have no clue how to put it back together. YouTube videos are replayed over and over and I still don't comprehend. It's like I have this blindspot, inability to grasp instructions.

If not fixed today, I'm calling the plumber tomorrow.  I kept telling myself that it would have been fixed today if I had just called the plumber instead of trying to save money.
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I'm sorry, Book. It is such a pain, I know. I'm the same way about fixing stuff. I can take things apart but that's about it. Tone deaf in the DIY department.

Sounds like the plumber might be a good idea, even just to get a quote and have them on speed dial as a backup in case family doesn't come through.
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Thanks, Frazzled. I thought I was the only person who seems to have problems with DIY - even if it is in YouTube.

My strategy worked. We live in a road that has an ending (cul-de-sac like.) Shipping company is at the end. and then homes and an apartment. One lane road with cars constantly going by. I got fed up, cooked a little snack. Then took all my dishes, went to the water faucet outside, near the front porch. Every person who drives by, will see me bending down (or squatting) while washing my dishes, utensils and pot. I heard someone drive in and park at my brother's place. I didn't look. I just continued washing my dishes... Well, not even 5 minutes later, my nephew comes over to trouble-shoot both sinks. Simple Fixes - he said. Grrrrr…. 5:30pm. He's getting the tape measure at his house so that he can measure the bathroom sink's pipe. Kitchen sink - the water softener pipe is the leaker, not the sink pipe. However, he recommends changing out the kitchen pipe because it looks very outdated and about to cause problem. He pointed to the potential problem area. Heck, I don't even know what I'm looking at. It looks like a normal pipe like the rest of it. Whatever, I said. If you think it needs replacing, then let's replace it.
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Book,

i guess that was the better of two choices - although I imagine if you had been showering 🚿 in the front yard, the sinks would have been fixed in a jiffy 😜
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MsMadge, your comment caught me off-guard. I shouted with laughter.

The showering comment brought up childhood memories. In the mid-70s, it was only my dad and his siblings living in the land. The 3 aunties had the land below the cliffline. Dad had the bottom - floodzone. Then aunty sold her land between my dad and his brother - to a car repair company. We had a super-typhoon that knocked out the power and water for weeks. Because we were in the lowest land, we still had water pressure from the outside faucet in front of the house. So, mom would have us younger kids (3 girls) shower outside - completely in the nude, no covering from prying eyes. One day, sis saw a white man taking our photos while we were showering with the hose out front. That was the last time mom had us shower outside. We had to carry buckets of water and 'shower' inside the waterless bathroom shower.
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Book,
Brother is next door? Next time, take the dirty dishes to his house and wash them.
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Like I said before, part of my work is to write, my father and brother needed to go out of the town, so I packed my things and traveled the 70 miles in the middle of the week to be with my mother, who needs assistance.
So I was there, siting at her side, laptop on, duh, lap, her tablet blaring Netflix atthe last volume, she calls the lady who does the heavy cleaning every other week. And they started to run down the inventary of the fridge and pantry, what to buy, what to put on the supermarket list, et all. Without stoping the movie. So I naturally stopped working, waiting for the noise to go down.
Mother: "No, you can keep typing, it does not disturb me."
I had to run to the bathroom to laugh.
Have a great weekend, everyone
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It has been a dull, dreary, wet day and although it is only 7:30 p.m. I'm having trouble seeing my keyboard and will soon need to turn on some lights - even without the clouds the days are noticeably shorter. I. hate. it😡
The nursing home was like a creepy ghost town with dimly lit hallways, no activities at all planned for the weekend and zero visitors and everyone seemed restless and agitated... I see it is a full moon tonight.
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With the stormy weathers for the past 2 weeks, on Friday leaving work at 6:30pm, I barely saw the almost full moon. It was hiding behind the clouds. Maybe next month.

Cwillie, your description of the nursing home gave Me the creeps. I'm so glad I avoid scary books/shows now. Whatever leftovers I gleaned from growing up is forever stamped in my memory. My imagination takes it and runs with it.
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CW,
Having worked "graveyard" shift for 10 years, I can attest that patients really do get riled with a full moon. We would check our schedules against a calendar that showed the moon phases and never were happy if our nights to work included the full moon.

Emergency rooms typically see more patients on full moon nights and the in-patients are more anxious. Our first break was about 4 am when things finally calmed down.

I've heard the high and low tides of the ocean also have something to do with it.
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Like Sue stated full moon does make a difference. I worked in the ER doing preliminary psych evaluations. Full moon made a big difference. Schizos were always out in full force.
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I came home from dinner out with family around 8:00pm. I automatically got out of the car and looked up to the night sky. It was full moon and so very bright! Sometimes I wish I have a great camera and steady hands to take photos of it. My avatar is a photo taken from my niece's camera of the full moon with a halo. That was awesome!

As a caregiver juggling bedridden parent and full time job, I never had the chance to step outside at night to look up into the sky. After work and weekends were my shift. In over 50 years of my life, this is my very first time to see a moon with a halo! It may wreak havoc to people but I still think it's beautiful.
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P.S... wouldn't it be great to see the auroras?
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Book I'm way down in southern Canada so the northern lights are seldom visible here and when they are they are just pale wisps, but once the entire sky was tinged in pink... very cool.
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Seeing the aurora borealis is on my bucket list. I am not a big traveler but would enjoy that trip. Then I stop to think what if the weather is terrible and I cannot see it at all? I would be so disappointed. 😟
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I didn't think about the weather...

One of my wish lists is to see the cherry blossoms in Japan. I researched it. Almost every website would add that these are estimated dates of when the trees blossom. We have a 1 week time window to see it. I've read of people buying tickets for Tokyo only to find out it ended a week ago (earlier than predicted), but the trees are blossoming in another part of Japan. Took the bullet train or flew the domestic flight to see it. That's way too much for me to attempt. I'm what Jeanne Robertson's would call a Left Brain.
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Alaska is another one. A lady came into my office on Friday on her way to Alaska to go hunting for a bear skin blanket. Yes, one she will shoot. Rural living very different.
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In Maine we have the aurora borealis maybe once a year. Usually in July or August. It doesn’t cover much, usually just a northwest segment of the sky. I’ve seen it twice in Alaska - spectacular.

I have a big whine. PJ and I bought a new construction home about two moths ago. Sold our home. Both houses closed before PJ died. Person who bought our house has to be out of his home by Friday. So I’m scrambling to get packed and moved. PJ’s sons and grandsons are helping me. But now is not the time that I want to be sorting things and moving. Plus, the house we bought is much too large for just me. Not really sure why PJ and I bought such a large place to begin with, but it did have features we both liked.
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Becky,
my goodness
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I have so many chores to do and I'm already late for my morning shift with the Viking - she slept through lunch and dinner yesterday

I had cousins in town yesterday- mom's nieces- joined them for dinner but decided not to stop by hoca on my way home -
it was a full moon and I was afraid 😱
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Family got a good bit sorted and moved a bunch more to new house. I have to be at the house tomorrow to meet the decorator for window treatment installation. So much has happened since I picked fabrics, etc. I can’t remember exactly what I picked out. I’m confident the decorator has done a good job. I know several people who have contracted her before. And, she did have a beautiful fabric selection.
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Hi, everybody, I thought I would pop in and wish everyone well. I might need to whine just to get things off my chest. Things are not going so great here. MIL keeps getting sick with digestive issues and she pulled a muscle in her arm carrying groceries that were too heavy. She is not a good patient.
The AC in our bedroom is not working and smells musty, was making me sick so had to move into guestroom. The Heating and cooling people that installed it last year don't know why and were no help. It works great in the rest of the house...They think it may be a collapsed duct and the place is built on a slab...I worry they will have to jack hammer the floor out. It was like pulling teeth to get a duct cleaning company to come tomorrow to put a camera down there to try to see what is going on..... Stove light keeps saying the burners are on though they are off....the repair man came and the light went off 2 days before he arrived, the burners were off and now for no reason (and no one used the cooktop today) the light just came on after I drove home in a monsoon ....I absolutely HATE homeownership and the last thing a caregiver needs while going through eldercare is a haunted house going haywire and no one can or will help.
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We never got around to a medication review at mom's care plan meeting but something that was said had me checking my pharmacy invoices. Hm, what happened to mom's propranolol? I asked at the NH and it was unavailable from the pharmacy and then discontinued last October. I admit I should have been checking but they keep switching pharmacies and each seems to supply different generic drugs so I just didn't bother - they're supposed to tell you about all medication changes, in fact it is mandated. I am not happy - I would not have allowed this without a pretty convincing argument from the doctor. I get that her BP is low but mom has been taking this med since her heart attacks and surgery 40+ years ago, and it also had bonus efficacy for her chronic headaches, essential tremor, not to mention the atrial flutter she developed in later years - her previous doctor left it in place to improve her QOL.

I also found out that mom has not had a single ventolin treatment since it was ordered "as needed", it seems I am the only one who ever hears her cough. Today at lunch mom couldn't get more than a half a cup of tea down due to the heavy, gurgling, phloemy cough that no one else seemed to notice.... she sounded as though she was under water. They are supposedly checking her lungs every day - if this isn't in her lungs what is it, and what can we do about it, and why am I the only one who even notices?

And they expect me to trust them 😠
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cw - it isn't up to par is it? Mother has that cough too sometimes. They have checked her and it is not in her lungs, so must be in her "tubes". It's accumulated mucus (like a smoker's cough) she can't cough up due to muscle weakness. It is very distressing to hear the gurgling. I am not sure there is much they can do about it other than meds to dry it up which may have side effects and I have not had anyone suggest that. Some of it is just the disease progression.

Re the propranolol, does it lower her already low BP? I am not impressed how her NH is handling mother's meds either.
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The propranolol is a beta blocker so it does lower BP Golden, but I think she is (was) on a pretty low dose. I freaked out when the doc recommended to discontinue all her life saving heart/stroke meds several years ago and she has been functioning without them so I suppose this is really no different, it is the fact I was not informed let alone consulted that ticks me off. Mom went into the NH with no health records so this doc has no idea of her history and why she was on it, IMO to unilaterally make this decision is unconscionable.

I've read about the troubles you are having with your mom's meds -it must be extra difficult when you are trying to keep on top of things from a distance. The part I can't understand is I'm there pretty much every day, usually more than once - how is it I'm still left so out of the loop?
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On the plus side mom ate about 1/2 of her supper tonight - but it was her only meal of the day.
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1/2 her supper. That's good!!!

Yes, I know what propranolol does. When mother was assessed and put on comfort care, they removed her bp meds too. That's the way it works. Doesn't seem to have made much difference. I did have a phone call from the doc to let me know that is what they recommended. It is pretty standard.

There are health records for mother but the new doc in the NH didn't read them! I was not consulted either about the current meds change for mother. If I had been, everything would have gone more smoothly. But, I have accepted that is how this place works. Distance or not, we are having a similar experience. They don't value family input. All you can do is be the squeaking wheel. I can't let it get to me too much. It doesn't help her and it sure doesn't help me.

Have you decided what you are going to do with the rest of your life.?
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The only real plans I ever made were to go to college and I didn't finish, I've lived my life so far like thistle down blowing where the wind takes me - so no, I don't have a clue what I am going to do with the rest of my life.
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Oh dear Cwillie

the gurgling cough when her lungs are clear ....

has anyone suggested suctioning to you ?

we were able to do it a couple of times last year when mom was ill but not recently

dr orders are required and of course the equipment has to be ordered so it’s not easy to get

she just has the breathing treatment on order PRN

hang in there

I don’t know what I want to do either when this is all over
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