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I'm sorry you have to put up with such a sub par facility MsM, as much as I like to complain my mom's NH seems like the ritz in comparison. I wish there was a better option for the viking and you.
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Speaking of make-up. I use to use liquid eye-liner all the time, but as I have gotten older I don't any more. The main reason is that my hand starts to tremor and what a mess.... maybe this is how the "smokey eye" style got started :P
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Hi FF it's nice to see you posting, I thought you were gone for good!
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((((((madge)))))) You are an amazing caregiver for your mum. She is so fortunate to have you. You must be exhausted. I must say that hoca sounds pretty bad - like not many there care. Like cw, I wish there was a better option for you and the Viking, I wish it was not so hard on you, I wish it was not so hard on all of us and our LOs. But sometimes life is just hard. Roses for you 🌹🌹🌹!
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I'm retiring from my job at the end of November and trying to clean up my desktop of "stuff". I came across a folder labelled " mom". In it is a Word Doc which details a series of events that took place in 2011. I won't bore you with details but in hindsight, my mom SO clearly was already suffering from significant cognitive decline. It was so sad that none of us
( least of all her pcp and cardiologist) were tuned into this...or if those docs WERE, they never pointed it out to me.
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Happy (almost) retirement BB!!
The older I get the more I'm baffled by everyone and everything in the health care system, especially the total lack of transparency. Thankfully today we can easily research diagnosis and liaise with other people who share their experiences, years ago we just had to trust what we were told.
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DH hasn't been feeling well since just after Labor Day. When I put together the lab results and his symptoms, it looked to me like a flare of ulcerative colitis. So he met with his gastro last week. The doc told us that the symptoms didn't align with colitis - I explained that PD and the meds can mask the usual symptoms, and that his symptoms were so like they were during the first big flare. In fact, his PA talked with us last year
about how PD can mask symptoms during DH's last flare. He was adamant so I insisted he run a calprotectin test. The doc is leaving the practice in a month and made it clear he didn't want to start a treatment plan. He was condescending, arrogant and dismissive. I explained that while he knows gastro, I know this patient.

Well, the results came back this week and it's a UC flare. I'm upset with his refusal to read the file, listen to what I told him. Had I just figured he's the doc and knows his stuff, DH would be heading toward a serious problem. He has an appointment in a couple weeks with a new gastro, who I understand is very good. DH started on the Pred today - it has some nasty side effects but will get things under control. It'll be a tough couple months, but we'll get thru it. Incidents like this make me grateful for the ability to do my own research - you really have to advocate for your loved ones.
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Amen, Linda.

No longer is the doctor considered "God" and the patient just cooperates with everything that he says. Thank Heavens that we have the internet and a ton of good medical information.

We really need to be our loved ones' advocates.
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When my mom's stomach tube came out (accidentally pulled out by the caregiver giving her sponge bath), I called the clinic first to see if they will see bedridden mom as a "walk-in". They said yes. I called the ambulance. The EMS asked me if I called the clinic. I said yes. We arrived at the clinic. The physician came out and said that no, they cannot take mom because they're not equipped to re-insert the stomach tube back in.

So we went to the ER. And waited, waited for over an hour before mom was seen. I was called in to see the ER doctor. It was a young doctor who obviously thought he was God's gift to women. (He wore black shirt, black slacks and strutted. You know - you've seen men who struts. He strutted.) The ER doctor Lectured me that I could have re-inserted mom's stomach tube on my own. I did not have to go to the ER and wait over an hour - in which her stomach hole could have closed up before they could have inserted the tube... I glanced at the nurse and she had a straight face. I looked at the doctor and asked him HOW does one insert back the tube into the hole? Isn't there a balloon inside there? He then told me that I just need to inflate the balloon with a syringe once I've inserted the tube. Then I asked with what syringe? He told the nurse to give me some spares.... The jerk! Mom's Urgent Care clinic doctor - who had Medical degree - refused to re-insert the tube. And this strutting ER doctor - expected me - a lay person - to insert it myself and no need to bring mom in?!*#!
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Linda - good catch! And glad that you were determined and not swayed by the doctor's response.
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This is a weird whine. :-/

There is an AC user who has changed their name a few times, and has now come back under a new account and username with a whole new story of caregiving woe. I don't believe a word that they say is true, and I base this on their history of telling tall tales.

They've started up this pattern again under a new username and it's bugging me because I think it abuses the good faith of other users on this forum.

However. Everyone here is an adult and can make their own decisions about what they spend their time and energy responding to. And, likely this person is just bored in their lonely life and they need attention. Goodness knows that posting their stories here is fairly benign way to get that attention and connection, however fake, they must be seeking.

But it's bugging me, and so I'm whining about it.

I see it as an abuse of the kind people here on AC. Do you think admins would do IP check and block numerous accounts from same IP? I don't. It's not that kind of place. But I will ask about this.

So then I suppose I'll just sit back and wait for more stories from them.

I just needed to whine and vent openly about this. I don't like it. I feel this user hijacks threads too often and if they were real issues, of course I would be supportive. But there are too many signs that something's screwy on the other end of this account. What recourse do we have for this kind of situation? I don't see any. And since I'm not using AC as much as some, I'll leave it alone. It's not my place to police things around here. scowl.
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I tend to stay away from the overly dysfunctional drama infused threads and I will stop following any thread if it segues off into the twilight zone and too many inflammatory comments get made - sometimes I've contacted the admins when things go off topic but I guess they feel there is a place for that stuff too. Over all there seem to be a lot less thoughtful answers on the forum (we're missing a lot of really experienced people) and a lot more drive by posters and people who refuse to listen to any advice, but maybe I'm just losing my tolerance for it.
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I guess I am losing my tolerance too!
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I hate how my life has become so regimented, everything involving my mom has to revolve around the &%#@ NH schedule. I hate how everyone looks up when the front door slams shut, I hate how there is absolutely no privacy anywhere - some days I just want to come and go without notice. It was better when we could spend an hour outside but the weather has turned and I doubt we'll be able to do that again this year.
Sorry, I'm just rambling. (sigh)
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Linda - good for you! Well done.

book -that dr is a class 1 jerk!

ali - thank you for posting that. I was thinking the same There were stories that were unbelievable and details that didn't sync. However, I am not as charitable as you are. Considering their propensity for telling "tall tales", and their obvious need for attention and validation, I think that person needs therapy. Just my two cents...

glad -me too

cw - part of what makes caregiving hard.
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Cwillie

one of the most exhausting things about hoca is having to deal with the other residents- there's nowhere to go for a quiet moment - someone's always screaming or being aggressive

the Viking is very hard of hearing so I took her outside after breakfast and turned some music on pandora and held my phone by her ear - of course then the activity gal has to come out with a group and sit next to us and start yakking in a booming voice

so wish I could put mom in my car and go for a drive
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Oh, to be able to go for a drive again, I've thought the same thing MsM. And since I live within walking distance of the NH theoretically it would be possible to push her all the way home for the afternoon and I could even keep her for supper. Yeah right. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so practical.
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Hi everyone, I have been off here for awhile, very busy moving to a new place. No matter how organized you think the move will be, there will be calamity and disaster, workmen not showing up, stuff missing in boxes somewhere...ugh.

I remember the lack of privacy at the NH when Mom was in for rehab. I would often sort of close the door and wedge the waste basket in there so I could have a quiet conversation with my Mom. I don't know how I would fare in a NH...I am used to quiet at night and some residents in NH's blare the TV all night long. They should respect resident's and their visitor's privacy more.
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Well, just had a call from hoca, as the Viking has some redness in her delicate areas likely caused by wetness -

seems she was so wet during her afternoon nap that it went through the bed pads to her comforter and all while her private caregiver was with her who also stays overnight with her tonight

without letting on that I knew anything she's trying hard to cover herself by telling me another resident must have come in after dinner and peed on the bed as mom's comforter is gone
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((((madge)))) the hits keep coming. That's no good!
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MsMadge,
My mind does not stretch as far as that caregiver's does.
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Oh, BTW....
Found the SEARCH Bar, or search function, back on the "hamburger menu", aka "horizontal ellipsis", described as the three horizontal bars at the top left of the blue navigation bar, to the left of the Aging Care title, click on it.
Can you see it MsMadge??? Scroll up.
Report back so that Gladimhere or CWillie can help if you are still having trouble. Caregiving, and hiring incompetent caregivers is stressful enough without technical troubles.

My hubs has to locate AC, hand the phone to me, answer all my technical questions, turn off the phone. Lol.
This is funny because........
sooner or later he will tire of this and voila❗️❗️❗️😺
He will step up and help decide on easy and affordable internet access. I am way too stressed out to do it alone, he is the tech expert (or was), and I am waiting patiently, sort of. He will ultimately feel good about finding the remedy himself. In the meantime, are there any technical questions I can ask him for anyone? Men like to feel needed, yes?
Walking a fine line between brattiness and helping him help himself. Yes, I am.

Don't forget the "Butt Paste" barrier for Mom. It is a real product, often mentioned on this forum.
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Ali,
Yes, thank you for putting it out there. I am often tempted to be the forum police, but have prevented myself. Leaving that job to the forum administrators.
It concerns me that troll posters can be so deceitful, and for so long. If you do call them on it, they can attack.

However, imo, the Aging Care forum members are a great bunch of wonderful and dedicated people overall.

This is still a great place to be!
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I must not be too sharp. I often cannot spot the troll posters unless they are really mean or post strange ads for things.....I can spot scams and lies, pushy sales pitches, etc. but trolls seem to be difficult for me to spot.
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There have been one or two whose stories seemed pretty extreme to me that everyone else seemed to take as legit, I figure as long as they stay on topic and aren't being nasty it's no skin off my nose.
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The youngest troll I remember is the little girl who posted quite a bit,months ago and said some ugly things,but I think staff nipped it in the bud because she disappeared.
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Send
still no search bar on my hamburger
asked admins for help but haven't heard back
I suspect the new improved site is not compatible
with my 3 year old iPad mini
you know, built in obsolescence

Apple is discontinuing the iPad mini as it's redundant with the larger iPhones now
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Oh, and I received a letter today that hoca is raising its rates another $450 a month
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WHAT???

Stunned silence.

That's... a bit of a hike, isn't it? Do they offer any justification?
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Yes, CM, it is and the justification is always the same - rising costs
makes my head explode

I'll have to look up what the CPI index is as social security goes up by that excl fuel - I think mom got a $3 a month raise in that last year
(4)
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