I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
And that's my third whine. Having brain fog from the CFS/FM means that doing the paperwork as executor (also as POA) takes way longer than it would have before my brain fog days. It also makes me more prone to mistakes which then prolongs the whole process.
My fourth whine is that I have a dd who has is a CA who could whip through in hours or days that which it takes me days and weeks and sometimes months to do. I have seen her in action, and she is amazing. But she doesn't want to help. Even the things she says she will/wants to help with, don't happen very easily, I think part of it is that I was "supermum" for so long that none of them recognize that I do need help now. And the other thing is that I look younger than my age and healthy regardless of the CFS/FM, so they don't think I have any of the limitations that come with both of these. But I do.
So I will muddle through, it will take longer than I want to, but it will get done eventually. Those of you that are/were caregivers, be thankful that you did/do not have to look after finances as well. Those of you who are caregivers and have business and finances to look after as well, you have my deepest sympathies. it's a special kind of h3ll on wheels that increases stress significantly, And if you have that combined with age and chronic illness then we are travelling the same journey.
Rant over!!!
For anyone having noise problems, I found a helpful noise barrier for the outside wall behind the bed. I took a large piece of canvas art and filled the back with cotton batting...I found it in the Christmas decorations on sale. It was called "Buffalo Snow", but I have also seen this called "Angel Hair". I filled the space behind the canvas with this, and put a sheet of quilting filler over the back, turned it around and hung the art on the wall behind the bed. It has helped fend off noise somewhat. I also think the processing plant may have had a complaint as a police car was sitting on our street with his window open listening for over an hour yesterday. Our street is private property so someone in the complex must have called about the relentless noise yesterday and the day before. It has been much quieter today and at times no sound at all.....Trouble is, they may behave for a bit but then sneak up the volume....
continuation of my whine - the other factor that doesn't help at all is since the cataract surgery I have some double vision. It is hard reading fine print, and tax stuff and various forms is all about the fine print. Combine that with the brain fog and blurry eyes sometimes due to CFS/FM and I have to wait to deal with some stuff till the days that I see better, The optometrist said I have 20/20 vision and I say B*** S*** t that!!!
We just called the pharmacist back and she is spitting mad. She said "oh my god, your doctor's office. The girl there said oh, the patient asked for the wrong medicine" So now they're blaming me! Also, the doctor refaxed a blank prescription twice. They told the pharmacist that the doctor has left. So the pharmacist told them to get another doctor there to sign off on it. They told her they can't do that. The pharmacist said to them that she worked at a doctor's office for years and yes they can. So now the pharmacist said she is standing by her fax machine waiting and she will get back to me.
What happened to just giving a patient a prescription and letting them hand it to a pharmacist. After this is resolved, if it ever is, I am planning on making a formal complaint. What do you all think? Should I?
For me there is no rush, but I have the spectre of my (dollar signs in her eyes) sis hanging over me and I guess she will just have to wait. What can she do other than being nasty, and I should be used to that by now.
Then more changes -just when I had decided on a condo I find out that there will be a lot of construction around it for new houses and a 4 lane highway connection to the city. Like cm, I cannot abide noise pollution. So back to the drawing board on that one. I guess it's not just the executor duties but the need to move south to a shorter winter too that is pressing on me too.
I wish the prescription had been for Valium cause I seriously could use one right about now.
Would it help to inform your sister that the average time to probate an estate with an attorney in one year?
In the U.S. also, is what I am informed.
Gershun,
Maybe find out what the receptionist is taking, and make sure you do not get that.
ETA -when she gets nasty, it has nothing to do with the facts.
The latest debacle was a change in her insulin. We saw her doc's PA this last time, as it was just a routine checkup. PA agreed that we should leave her insulin dosage alone until we saw her endocrinologist a couple of weeks ago. Endo made a minor adjustment to the dose but didn't change the type of insulin itself. I later find out that mom's primary doc's office had sent a prescription to the pharmacy changing it to the wrong type of insulin, so it was a big rigamarole getting all of that straightened out. Thankfully her endo is really good and got the proper info to the pharmacy for what her current dosage should be, so her nurses have the correct orders too.
The only reason I haven't changed her PCP is mom is comfortable with them because they are familiar and know her history, and she usually only sees him anyway for routine checkups, like maybe 3-4 times a year. Major issues we (attempt to!) get a specialist referral. It never fails to amaze me though their office's lack of attention to detail. :(
now, the paperwork is in a box, vs. the dining room table -
still need to go through all the EOB's and sort those into another box
Then I can start shredding
still not sure what to do with mom's id theft situation- the company won't comply and provide records so that I can turn over to the police
hate it when someone asks me if I did anything fun with my days off over the holidays
I get asked all the time when we are going on vacation and am tired of explaining that we have MIL, and hubby has heart issues that need to be addressed. Also if we had a "fun" New Year's Eve....Fun??? Really!!?? I was in bed by 9:30....
It's also a good idea to have in mind what you would *like* them to do. Apology; remedial training or tightening of procedure; and compensation for your wasted time, possible expenses, frustration and inconvenience - but what compensation? flowers? Money? Receptionist's head on a platter garlanded with flowers and money?
take a day to exhale and rest - the relatives and papers can wait
you're a hero
I used to want to clean when I'd go to Mom's too but she would always get irritated and say "I can do it" I know she was only trying to save face but truly her house used to be immaculate when we were growing up. Sometimes I'd vacuum, etc. when she was at work and she'd redo it cause it wasn't up to her standards.
That's how I knew when she was starting to decline. When I'd see little cobwebs forming in the corners of the ceiling. Or crumbs pushed into a corner on the counters. That sure wasn't my Mom in better times.
When we'd meet up for coffee or lunch she'd immediately start picking lint off of my clothes. Come to think of it, maybe that's why I've always been so hard on myself. No offense to Mom, but man she liked things perfect.
My dad hates my mothers kindle.He blames it for keeping her up all night lol