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He's not a candidate for the shock wave therapy (or whatever it is called) to smash the stones BarbB?
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Those were my thoughts CWillie.
Laser the stones, after getting a second opinion.
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Barb,
Is it not inadvisable to have surgery over the Passover?
If the surgery were emergency surgery, then understandable, it would take precedence over the holiday.
The scheduling is convenient for the doctors, not the patient's. Try scheduling for a Monday?

Is there time to be off blood thinners prior to the surgery?

A second opinion from a doctor please.
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We discussed the shock wave thing; not an option due to previous surgery ( in 1971) that impacted the ureter involved.

We both want to get this over with. I don't want to schedule any extended vacations until he has these procedures and the "after". I'm sorry if I sound like Debby Downer, but my guy is a medical lemon of sorts. Last polypectomy ( at Memorial Sloan, arguably the best hospital in NYC) we went away after a couple of days; he started bleeding and he ended up back in the hospital with a transfusion. Transfusions are these days quite contraindicated for artificial valves. A year or so ago, he was in the ER and his INR was 17; major med center refused to transfuse and cardiologist agreed; apparently transfusions can cause major damage to bio valves.

I need to learn to be patient, I think.
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Barb, I feel like I am always on pins and needles with my hubby's health. I am often impatient after a decade of "no" all the time. I hope things get resolved for you and you can finally get that vacation! It seems we go through so much just to get there.
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Barb,

Yeah but.....he is your lemon!

All the best wishes and prayers for a good solution.
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Barb, I've been reading about some new noninvasive procedure instead of colonoscopy... think I could remember what it's called? Ok, looked up "alternatives to colonoscopy, and there are several good ones. Happy hunting?
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Barb, they did a calprotectin test on DH to see if his UC was flaring. They used this test in lieu of a scope. It took about 1 1/2 week for results. It’s a pretty useful option esp when thinners complicate procedures. But it doesn’t show where the problem is and not useful if they need to check polyps and pseudo polyps.
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My whine is very silly compared to yours, but I need to write this down. Do you feel like people stole your life, even your few pleasures?
I have a hobby, watching "X". I didn't mentioned it once this weekend, but my mothers is since yesterday making planes, saying we will lunch earlier so "I could watch X with her." That means she talking on the phone, asking me what is happening and all, trying to follow something she does not like. I know her heart is on the right place, she is adamant to spend time with me, but thiss will ruin two hours for me and her. How can we have a bit of "me" time without passing for selfish?
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Hm, that's a tough one. Do you think you could fib and tell her you were planning to watch at a friend's house? (thanking her profusely for being so thoughtful, of course)

Or just bite the bullet - "mom, I love you dearly but I'd rather just watch X on my own. I know you really don't care for it and just wanted to spend time time with me, how about we do ABC together instead".
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I do not like the reply option on entries made by those that come to this site. I think recently we have been bombarded with comments from either trolls or people that just do not know much about caring for our elderly.

The worst part of this is the people that frequent this site will attack and correct statements made that are either incorrect or from an inexperienced person or even troll. People, do not attack, instead respond to the original post, no reply, without feeding the trolls or correcting their thoughts and opinions. That does nothing but raise ire.

Just, please settle down.
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There are very few places where I've found the reply option useful, IMO if the comment is relevant to the discussion it should be posted normally on the thread. Also, too many of the newer posters reply individually to each answer so that you need to do a lot of back tracking to get it all.

There are always going to be reactions to controversial comments, sometimes it's hard to let stuff slide. I try to ignore it unless it's coming from someone who has been on the forum long enough to know better or it seem particularly offensive to the OP.
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In agreement with Gladimhere and CWillie re: the "REPLY" option.

Not needed, useless, confusing, time consuming, and attracts trolls.
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I don't like the reply option either. Inside conversations inside of main conversations. It's confusing and allows trolls to gang up on people.
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I don't like it when someone does not look over the thread for updates from the OP and then says something that has already been suggested that did not work which the OP had already said in response that it did not work.
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repeat of before
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I think there will be always some people (like moi) who want to give input but may not feel they have the time to read all previous comments under a question. Is that unwise? Yeah, I think so. I've done it before, where I'll comment something and then have to add that, oops, this wasn't relevant or it had been mentioned.

For me, it comes down to how I'm using AC these days. I get on only for a few minutes at a time, but it's also an important connection for me, and if I have a tip/input/feedback for someone, I want to speak to that, let the poster figure out if it's relevant info or not.

I'd be the first to say that the way I'm doing things lately isn't the best. I appreciate those of you who take time to read profiles, and previous threads, etc., and keep the big picture together, writing comments that relay info concisely so I don't need to dig for it. I do a lot more reading on AC lately -- in the Questions -- than I do posting. I think I learn as much or more than I have advice. I haven't ruled out applying to local Gerontology programs at universities. AC helps me to see where my interests lie.

WHINE: I'm still coughing, and coughing up goo, and it's been 6 1/2 weeks since this started. I'm over it. I went to a Korean-style health spa a week ago. I should've spent more time in steam sauna to try to clear this out but... also it's not exactly a nice look, to be hacking up goobers in the shared steam sauna. This bug has been a stubborn one.
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Boundaries are for self-protection, not changing the other person. Regardless of them changing or not, your boundaries stay.
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I may be whining in a different direction but here goes. It is painful and so difficult to sell a house in NY right now. So many people are underwater with their houses having bought prior to 2008 and even a few years later when the market slowly treaded upwards. Now many asking prices are well below what was paid. And NY just keeps making life more difficult. They just made a brand new toll tax if one drives into NYC. Amazon pulling out certainly didn't help. Unless all aspects of one's house is totally up to date you have to sit and wait and lower and more of the same. Even if a buyer just has to do a remodel of one area that's not enough. We have been in the house 31 years, have made alot of updates but just might break even. It's sad and depressing and hurtful to hear negative comments. I just had an argument with my husband because I didn't think we should pay for added mulch this year. He wants the yard to look very good. It already looks so much better than many others. Doubtful any one will say " what great mulch, I have to have this house! ".

Whine completed ( at least for the moment )
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My 96 year old just got out of hospital. Very, very weak. Already hurt my back trying to lift her. My whine is my husband. At times he’s all up for ‘take care of her, she needs you now’ to boo hoo I’m not getting your attention. I feel totally torn, can’t seem to make everyone happy. I think he’s being unreasonable. I think he wants me to complain more, when I’m not complaining at all. I have to follow through with this and he has made comments in the past about our life is ruined. I try to ignore his negative comments but they’re hurtful.
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Daughter, be very careful lifting! I took care of my mom for years and had hurt my back in 2002 trying to catch her as she was going down. I learned never try and catch a falling person...I have had sciatica on and off ever since. I should have just pushed her backwards onto the bed when this happened.

Riverdale, I am also dismayed at the housing market a couple states over from you. The granite craze ruined things for a lot of people, and our state has a huge property tax rate. Homes either sit on the market if they have no granite, etc. or they are snapped up sometimes on the same day, especially condos. There is also a bizarre trend of building "luxury housing" next to undesirable places.
One year we didn't mulch at our old place, and I raked the existing mulch a bit and it looked like new mulch for awhile, maybe you could try this and see if it works in your garden. I wish you all the best in selling your home!
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Giving in to a whine...parents came to live with us in December. both in their late 80's with various health issues. I retired to be here with them to lessen the work on my DH. My thoughts these days lean toward - what about me? Emails, calls (no visits) all start off with how are they doing and end with let me know if they need anything. Never a how are you doing or what can I do to help you?
Selfish thoughts I know, so sorry!
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I need to do my taxes this evening but I'm exhausted from the weekend at hoca

mom keeps saying she's dying and with so many passing the last couple of weeks I wanted to keep an eye on her plus with occupancy falling they're cutting back on staff - I hand fed one resident dinner last night and helped another while my private caregiver took care of mom
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My whine today...does anyone here have any melodramatic mourners in their family? I mean, I know everyone's grieving process is different, but I mean people who get theatrical about the death of friends or family that they didn't know well or at all.

My DH lost an uncle in an accident a couple of weeks ago. Someone he grew up with, but had seen maybe twice in 20 years (kids and I had never met him due to his family living out of state), so he was sad and some tears were shed, but he is honestly doing okay....mainly sad for his mom because it was her brother.

Well, we have a SIL (married to DH's brother) that was not super close to the deceased that has posted songs, tributes, tagged me on Facebook in public mourning posts, messaged me with songs, etc., and she has been going on about it now every day for the whole two weeks. Even the immediate family has not done that. She just messaged me to see how DH is holding up (he really is okay, honest). DH shook his head and said, "She just can't live without some kind of drama."

This SIL is otherwise a sweet lady and we get along well, but sheeze Louise, she did the same after my mom's death and she never even met my mom! At mom's viewing, we also had family members here come out of the woodwork that couldn't be bothered to ask how mom was doing while she was alive, and of course twisted sis, who mistreated and stole from her, who wanted to act like they were so distraught and make her memorial about them.

I just shake my head at these types...
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Madge, you are quite the dedicated daughter! You spend as much time with mom that I certainly would not have been able to do once my mom was placed. Good job! And even help with others.

Frazzled, it takes all kinds for sure.
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Oh my Goodness!  Thanks MsMadge.  With my aunt passing 10 days ago, and BIL 11 days ago, a bittersweet family reunion last weekend, etc.  I have forgotten to finish my taxes!  Time to get off line and just do it....
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It is so hard to go out after I get home from work. But, I am going to Weather Spotter Training tonight. With a blizzard warning starting tomorrow at noon, the time is good. I may be stuck in the house for a couple of days.

But, I am looking forward to it, should be very interesting.
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From a second bomb cyclone two days ago, to a blizzard warning, then back to a bomb cyclone this afternoon. Winds are awful, probably about 40mph now, but forecast to go to 65mph during the night. Better eat soon! Chili out of the freezer.
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IRS FORM 4868
Extension to file taxes
Still due by April 15th.
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Went to bed last night, not much snow, but plenty of wind. Snowed through the night, about six inches on the streets this morning, still with lots of wind. Office delayed opening until noon. Winds were still howling. Road department worked from early morning until 3 this afternoon when they sent all home to rest. Wind is still howling. Just as they would get a road clear, winds would drift it over again, up to six foot drifts. Roads are a mess. Wind is still howling. Roads will start again at 2am to try to make progress. Winds still howling!

Just a complete mess here and the snow had stopped this morning by 5 or so.
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