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Barb, wishing you and DH all the best and hope all will get resolved with the second procedure!
(5)
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Why is my family so f---ed up about getting together? Sister is the matriarch but she refuses to step into the role so we are always left with hastily arranged get-togethers that leave everyone stressed and grumpy. I would gladly have everyone here but I am too far off the beaten track and nobody wants to schlep out to my place. (Well, maybe I'd grumble but I'd do it). Sis decided that she would just as soon work on the holidays - another sore spot because oldest son feels she puts work ahead of family, plus she's past retirement age. Anyway, I got a call last night that we are meeting at her youngest bachelor son's place today, but no food has been bought and everything is closed so..... She hopes the pizza place is open - this is going to be a disaster, I just want to stay home 😒
(8)
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CW, then stay home. I was asked if I was "interested" by TS2. But, I could "invite" any of my kids. Just a continuation of the 8 years now of dysfunction. Normally what twisteds do is invite kids and leave me out completely. But, no matter twisteds actions helped to open my kids eyes. I agreed to attend because my oldest daughter wanted to go, the other two nope. We have a big rain storm coming in on Sunday. I will very likely change my mind.

Go for pizza if you want. But, don't feel you have to. Do you attend a church? Are there any community egg hunts? Do what you want on Sunday.

I am thinking that I will buy a small ham, just me size, asparagus, maybe make a meringue to serve with some fresh strawberries, parboiled browned potatoes.
(8)
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Why is it easier for you to shlep to them than for them to shlep to you? Do you have a magic transporter like in Star Trek or something?

But if you want to see them all anyway, how about taking a packed lunch? You might still be bored and irritated by the chaos but at least you won't be hungry as well!
(6)
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I've been channelling my grandmother and thrown together a descent meal - ham, scalloped potatoes and a green bean salad, sis will make a veg and I've also got cake and ice cream in the freezer. I've been trying to break myself of the habit to always keep so much extra food on hand but this time it has paid off.

I'm the one who moved back to our home town and away from everyone else. (my bad🙄) The distance for oldest nephew and family is only a little greater but in a slightly different direction so they can't really do both at once, plus youngest nephew doesn't drive so needs to beg a ride. It could all work out if I just jumped in and assumed the mantle of family matriarch and hosted. (once again, why am I supposed to always be the responsible one, I'm the youngest)
(9)
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I feel awful to whine at a religious day, but I need to take this out of my chest.
As I said before, my mother has several mobility issues, and refuses to use a walker and/or cane. She uses any avaliable arm. And today, she is adamant on doing the traditional Good Friday dish for the whole family. And since "your father gets nervous and shouts at me", I am the one who goes with her to the kitchen, getting the ingredients while worrying about her leaning on the stove, one ingredient, one complain about pain. I went to get a can of something and open it, returned to see her CLEANING THE LIGHTED FIRE STOVE WITH A PAPER TOWEL, and throwing the thing on fire on the floor, while wearing a large, long night gown. I started to say something, she cut me, saying it was the only thing she could reach, and for me don't be like my father, let she do what she wants, this could be the last time she cooks for our Easter, blah, blah, blah. So, I am not allowed to say anything, even suggest another, easier way to do things.
After that, she made a point to set the table, I try to give her the tableware fast, worried about she leaning on the glass table, she asks why I am nervous, if I am going to do things that way is better for me to go seat and let her alone.
Now I am having some un-christian thoughts. She asks me to warn her the time, because "I'll have a shower at such-such hour". And I am thinking "Please spend four-five hours doing it!"
But I must understand her side, there's very few things she can do now. Well, have a great Easter to those who celebrate it, and a great weekend to everybody else.
(10)
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eee gads
5 new residents landed at hoca - guess families want a happy Easter

poor nurse was ready to collapse - one hadn't had a shower in months; another accused everyone of taking her money and was wandering the halls

it was not a fun Friday night fiesta
(7)
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MIL insists, as always, to cook to Easter dinner. She will not come to our home, in her mind it must be as it always was. Therefore we will arrive early and make sure the stove is off, etc. Will have a huge cleanup afterward as every Sunday.
I did stop her from baking a huge cake for 15 people as she always does, (we will be 4 people and one won't eat dessert), because I have made it a tradition to bring a bunny cake for the last 3 years. I will put on a pound or two, but at least there won't be that huge tasteless cake....
Happy Easter everyone, and also happy Passover!
(10)
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Rbonuc2999, wouldn't it be nice if those workers who had to leave the workforce to care for their parents/spouse were given a universal income. But who would pay for this universal income? Us taxpayers. It probably would be connected to State/Federally funded Medicaid, and each State would run that segment.

Thus, I could see a draw back where Medicaid paid nursing homes becomes limited [due to State budget cutbacks] when a grown child can no longer take care of a parent and needs the help of a village in a nursing home. That universal income would not pay for 3 shifts of caregivers coming to one's house. Here in my area, 3-shifts of caregivers can cost $20,000 a month.

I wish there was some way to help level the paying field. Grown children who quit work are losing on average $350k during those years of caring for a parent. This cost includes the net cost paid by a company who offers health insurance, matching 401(k), profit sharing, paid vacation days, paid sick days, etc.

In my parent's case, they were frugal all of their lives being teenagers of the Great Depression. It was amazing how much they had in savings, stocks, bonds, etc. with just Dad's income. But they did it. Of course it was easier to save back then, as there weren't all these extra cost of new technology. And my folks survived with just one car as we were near a city bus route. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I didn't realize the cost of growing old here in the States until my parents needed caregivers, Independent Living, Assisted Living/Memory Care, and long-term-care. Thus I look at my retirement fund that I was going to use to travel, etc. and now I am holding those funds hostage for my own old age :P
(7)
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I took the day off to catch up knowing I'd have a tough weekend without caregivers for mom - there's still so much to do and I'm out of energy

spent a good hour trying to dispute a charge from hoca's RX provider -
the Viking has been off risperdal since Jan but pharmacy tried to deliver and charge - wrong Doctor, wrong dosage listed on invoice -
provider said it would stay as active on her profile until cancelled by her physician - never mind her primary didn't prescribe to begin with but now they want him to cancel it -
I understand mistakes but non sense like this gets my Viking up
(8)
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MsMadge,
Put it in writing that you will be reporting Medicare fraud. Let them handle it.

I feel the same way about our telephone and internet provider. I once contacted the utilities commission about their errors, and ~they~ cancelled it! Still issues years later. I get so upset that I will no longer call them

Grrrrrrr!
(5)
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The mistakes being made are out the roof. It seems that when something changes the clerks can't and won't go into the system and remove the old information. We got a new phone number 6 months ago. The woman who had this previously still has relatives calling here and every holiday though we have told them this is our number now. Probably what has happened is that they do not bother themselves to remove the old number from their address book in their phones, and keep stupidly calling here though they have been told many times.

This story takes the cake: Several years ago my dad got a 42 cent bill from the cable company....my dad died 25 years ago and that account had been closed back then at a different address than mom lived!!! It took me 2 months and stamps worth way more than the 42 cents to get them to understand that the account was closed 25 years ago. Unreal!!
I could teach a rodent to go through a maze for cheese faster than most of these people can function......
(5)
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madge - what a b*tch

katie - that's crazy.

I am whining about things falling apart - the two kitchen appliances and now my computer. Too many hours being spend trying to sort it out, and ph*t*bucket's new limits. Downloading albums, renaming, and trying to figure out where to store them now. Not on my external hard drive, as I originally planned, as I only have one working port! Can anyone recommend good online storage? I think I need a bubble bath 🛀 and a novel to recover. Chocolate wouldn't hurt either.
(2)
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Golden,
Hubs recommends the cloud.
DROPBOX is free.
Before you sign up, get a referral from a friend to receive an extra amount of free storage for you and a friend. You will need to provide your friend with your e-mail.

Amazon AWS is cloud storage, not free but cheap, hubs says it is hard to use.

These are recommendations by tech experts like Leo LaPorte, Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak, Kevin Norton (in the U.S.).

Other options include moving files to a thumb drive or a DVD.

d i s c l a i m e r
(1)
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Ths send. With my port problems I can't use a thumb drive and would rather not use a dvd. I was thinking of Amazon -will look into it further. I did use dropbox years ago. It was easy.
(1)
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Attach a hub to the one port.
That can expand one port into four ports.


d i s c l a i m e r
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I am spending every weekend helping my mother. Went home eraly monday morning. And who decided, 20-ish hours later, she does not need help to go to the bathroom, felt, split her eyebrow open and was not able to be lifted by my father?
So I am here, back at her house, had to abandom everything on my house/part of my job.
But she is fine. Is looking like a MMA fighter, but is fine
(2)
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I know, send.😊 I have to get a high speed hub.

coyote - ouch. No fun. You need a break.
(1)
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My whine of the day. I feel guilty of getting resentful over my 85 yr old live in FIL. I also feel selfish. My hubby and I both work from home. We have offices in our upstairs of our home. When my work day is done I cook for the three of us. We have asked he set table a couple times in past but he just doesn’t do it. He doesn’t say thank you for dinner. But where I am bothered is after dinner yesterday, hubby and I went outside to sit and enjoy outside for a bit. I was talking. FIL comes, interrupts me to talk about himself, and then sits and joins us. I do not dislike him. I realize he is aging and doesn’t have any social life. But, once in a while I just want time just with hubby and not just at bed time. I feel bad when I get in these moods where I don’t feel like I have any alone time with hubby yet I feel so bad because he doesn’t have anyone else. I keep pushing that we get some in home helpers to take him out and socialize with him. Hubby feels very sorry for dad and gets run around on all his dads needs. We did have one person come in for a few weeks but she took on another job that was closer to her. Hubby says next month we will get someone in. I continue to try not to be resentful as he is 85 and old.
(2)
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My whine,,, today I went got my hair cut and a pedicure.. yeah me!! Then I come home to hear about how hubs found one of moms pills on the floor again ( we had this talk a few weeks ago) Explained to mom if the pill is on the floor its not doing her any good.. or the dogs,,, And its upper 70s today,, open the house and let some fresh air in,, and its warmer outside than in so she will be warmer in the rec room for her ( and less smoky for us) So the pity party began.. she is going to go live with my Aunt ( upper 80s also and the one who left her take 20 pain pills a day last visit, resulting in a emergency visit from us) so she dosent "kill the dogs" and such. OK.. my Aunt also doesn't like the constant smoke, and she can't handle moms falls and meds. My Aunt is much more physicaly able than mom,, but her kids love it when we take HER for a week or so.. so this is not optimal either. So Mom is pouting.. made a big deal about me watching her take her pills,, not speaking to hubs because he ratted her out about the pills on the floor.. I really think it is time I spoke to her Dr privately about her mental health. She often says she is forgetting things, but she gets upset if I mention it! She is getting so stubborn and I am getting so stressed.
(5)
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My whine is isn't even in the top 100's by comparison, but still a challenge. I have been trying to find a liquid body soap that is clean smelling.... something where I don't smell like I fell into a vat of vanilla, nor spent the night in a flower shop, nor marinated on the sand mixed with seaweed, etc.

I tried liquid Ivory soap, was excited to try it only to be disappointed that it didn't smell like the Ivory soap bar, in fact the liquid smelled terrible to me :P

Any ideas on something that smells clean and fresh?
(2)
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Do you have the Simple range, FF? Extremely boring, on account of being unscented - ! - but pleasant to use. I'm completely with you on the not smelling edible point.
(2)
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Have you tried the baby washes? Johnson's head to toe pretty much smells like nothing at all and is as gentle as can be.
(4)
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FF, not sure if you are looking for something budget friendly...if you aren’t, L’occitane has an almond milk line that has a light scent. It’s not floral, woodsy, or anything like that. It’s a really nice light scent, kind of smells like honey to me. A travel size bottle is around $9.
(1)
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FF, I like the Dove body wash.. It moisturizes too. But it can make the shower slippery
(2)
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I like the Aveeno body washes, though the scents are a matter of preference. The lavender scent is relaxing when I am stressed, which seems to be often anymore. I like the one for dry skin as well.
(4)
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Well, I finally got around to finding a therapist. I really like her, and she is so great at helping me find perspective as well as reminding me practicing self-care isn't the same thing as being selfish. And she's funny.

I've only been seeing her for about six weeks. Several weeks ago she told me she's leaving the counseling center. Today is my last appointment with her. :0/ I'm not sure I want to go through the process of "breaking in" a new therapist.
(2)
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kwagmeyers,

Ask her who she recommends for you to continue therapy just in case you want to continue seeing someone. Better than having to start researching again for someone.

Sorry she is leaving since she turned out to be a good fit for your needs.
(1)
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Thanks for the recommendations on the liquid soaps, I will check them out :)

Pam, so glad you mentioned that soaps that have moisturizers can cause the tub/shower floor to be slippery. I noticed that happening with the hair conditioners that contain oils. Even with a bath mat I feel like I need ice skates :P
(4)
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My whine today is, why must most earplugs cause so much itching? The foam ones without latex have a lower level of decibel rating. Our eyes close when we sleep....why don't our ears close too? LOL....:O
(4)
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