Follow
Share
Read More
I’m wide awake at 3 AM reading about all the other people who feel frustrated, hopeless and unappreciated by the people we care for. It’s nice to realize I’m not the only one feeling like running away or screaming! While it’s nice to have company in my misery my whine this morning is why didn’t I keep my damn mouth shut !!! I’m so STUPID why o why did I tell my Dad he shouldn’t write something so passive aggressive and mean in his Mother’s Day card to his “girlfriend”. If I had let him do that then she’d have realized he is not a nice person. But I had to say something because I was trying to make the last few weeks of their bowling league go smoothly. Now I just brought back all the anxiety, temper tantrums and horribleness of my Dads behavior in regards to her. It makes me cry
(6)
Report

I feel out of sorts lately. Why did I get through my mom's rough demise for nearly two years without crying much during those hard months, and now I get all tearful and weepy a lot? I think I am depressed...feel like a hamster on one of those wheels...a squeeky wheel...
(6)
Report

Katie, I understand. I think sometimes you get low about something totally unrelated to your mom and then the sadness escalates to where you think of your loss and next thing you know it's that you are thinking about.

I know when I get sad I miss my mom even more. She was my strength and now I don't know where to turn without her.

Let yourself cry. I feel better when I can cry. It's a way of releasing stuff that can bog you down.
(8)
Report

Thanks Gershun. Maybe I should just let it out. I had to pull together for so long that I need to learn again how to just have a good cry, then pull myself back up by the bootstraps once I have let it all out.
(8)
Report

I think it's good to let it out too,but I really didn't have a choice.I had held in all my tears(mostly) while Mother was here,but after I lost her,I couldn't stop crying and it would hit me anywhere I was.At the grocery store,Walmart,walking around the block,everywhere and the tears still come sometimes,but not as often.I always keep a kleenex on me though,so I'm prepared.
Big {{{hugs}}} to you,Katie and Gershun~
(8)
Report

I recently started weaning off of antidepressants and find sad feelings really creeping in. I had no idea how much the pills were masking things.
(9)
Report

Sorry Gershun. Hugs!
(3)
Report

In greece they have on of the lowest rates of dementia on earth. One of the reasons is there diets are 1 to 2 hours old. Meaning there food is mostly freshly picked. Among many many other reasons. I just mentioned one of the many. Cause it's one we can do here. Also olives and grapes is a center piece of all there food. Turns out this is very good for the brain.
(4)
Report

That’s interesting about diets in Greece. I love Mediterranean food.

I think all of the processed crap that people eat is awful. Look at just a few generations ago when people cooked from scratch how much healthier it was. My grandpa had a veggie garden in his yard.

Look at the TV dinners that came out in the 50’s. I guess those were among the first processed foods, and fast food places which are horrible! Cakes were made from scratch not cake mix boxes filled chemicals. I heard chemistry students talking one day on NPR radio and they said the majority of processed foods are loaded with chemicals. All of these preservatives, additives, gmo’s can’t be good for us, not just weight but overall health.

Monsanto lost that huge law suit with the GMO issue to the lymphoma cancer patient. That man is dying so the money will go to his family.
(2)
Report

The fresh food in Greece is an interesting consideration. I try to use olive oil a lot. I love Greek food. If only some foods would help with depression as well. My mom's nurse several years ago told me Brazil nuts were good for depression.

Lucky, I know what you mean by bursting into tears, I have to fight it in the grocery store sometimes where I used to shop for certain items for my mom. When I see these things I have to keep moving to stop from crying. Sometimes it has helped to shop in a different grocery store.
(4)
Report

I think the commonalities in all the countries with healthy elder populations are similar - less meat, more fish and none of the high fat, high sugar, high sodium processed crap that we all tend to fill out pantries with. One day I was wasting time wandering in the grocery store and suddenly realized how little in this great big store was actually real food, oh, there is tonnes of stuff to eat but 75% of it is absolute cr*p!
(7)
Report

Oh dear, now my latte and scone aren't so good but I do eat Greek yogurt and blueberries every day -
(4)
Report

I too am burned out... I am just sitting here knowing fully well that I need to get up and meal prep and cook for the following week. I try to leave three different types of meals available, just to be reheated. Mom is also a big eater considering she's not very big. I was just thinking, gosh it would be nice to have someone do this... I work long hours and get home much to late to cook, and on the weekend I am tired... I definitely feel your pain
(5)
Report

Ugh, last Friday I got my Shingle Shot Booster. All was fine until 3 hours later when I started to get almost all of the side effects on the pamphlet. I knew I would feel sick the next day as that happened when I got the first shot months ago, but not so sick as to go to the ER.

Since this wasn't a huge emergency, I decided to have sig-other take me to the walk-in urgent care. Well, we check on four in our immediate area, all closed, as it was almost 10:00 pm. Even the one that use to boost on TV [nationwide chain] they are opened 24 hours a day.

Then we went to the local hospital, I walked into the ER and the place was packed, the clock ticker said 55 minute wait.... yeah, 55 minutes to be taken into the room and then a half a day for everything else. The clock ticker gave other waiting times for other ER's in the area. Hmmm, one said 4 minutes. So we got into the car and eventually found the place 15 minutes later [stand alone ER].... thank goodness for the blue H signs on the road. As in the dark, with two people in their 70's, driving at night isn't as easy as it use to be :P

As I was signing in, a nurse came out and waited for me to finished. That was quick !! I was in an exam room, with 2 nurses swarming all over me. We were in and out in 2 hours. Got to remember this place !! Yep, it was the side effect of the Shingle Shot. Yet, my sig-other, who is a hypochondriac, had his shingle shots last year and the only problem a very sore arm for a couple of days.
(4)
Report

FF, Hope you are feeling better! It is amazing how one ER can make people wait for an hour or more, then another you can walk right in. The local ER luckily took my husband immediately when he thought he was having a heart attack, ( it was a panic attack as his BP kept going up). At another ER near my MIL's house we sat for at least an hour with her digestive issue as the ER waiting room was packed!
(1)
Report

I'm impressed the wait times are only an hour...

Going off to look up side effects of shingles shots.
(1)
Report

Hi All,
We found a great house to buy in sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico that’s close to everything yet very private (in a small gated community). (No whine here.) I’m thrilled because it will be “ours”. No more listening to hubs gripe about not making too many holes in the (concrete) walls of rental houses, possibly breaking the plastic pipes in the kitchen, bathroom and outside hose areas (who puts in PLASTIC pipes, anyway?), we can’t paint the walls in a color we’d like, etc. Now, I can do whatever I want with MY house.

So Hubs got a bee in his bonnet to get rid of anything that we don’t use or need. At first I was hesitant, because I did not want to get rid of the things I have, but I saw his reasoning. Why take things that you don’t use into a new house, just to junk it up? So, I set about getting rid of many clothes that I won’t be using down here. Also many blankets and spreads can be given away, as it’s just too hot to use them.
I got “in the spirit” of lightening our load. Many things were “going”. I was sorting through stuff, separating them for donation. Hubs started checking the items and WANTED TO HOLD ON TO THEM!

Aaagggggh! So this is my whine. Somehow I think this is so I don’t tell him to throw out all HIS junk. What men say and what they do are 2 different things. 😬
(8)
Report

You will work it out. Enjoy Mexico!
(1)
Report

Ha! That's funny, Sue. Congratulations on the new house. I agree with lightening the load - getting rid of things you are not using. And now he wants them back!!!! What are you going to do?
(3)
Report

Sue I feel for you! I am trying to get stuff out of housezilla, because someday I would like to move into a smaller ranch style house. If hubs sees me getting rid of stuff,, he says to save it in case DD wants it someday if she moves out of her condo. UHHH No she is not going to want a pink Fostoria cake plate, or wooden salad set... I actually did the last good will run while he was out. I truly packed up some wedding presents that had never been taken out of the boxes, and I have been married 38 years!!
(5)
Report

Ha! That's funny, Sue. Congratulations on the new house. I agree with lightening the load - getting rid of things you are not using. And now he wants them back!!!! What are you going to do?
(3)
Report

We just lost a cousin, only two months after her dx of pancreatic cancer. She was in her late 60's. It firmed my resolve to eliminate the toxic relationships in my life immediately, fallout be d*mned. Recent events have me totally out of tolerance and patience. I'm in self care mode. My energy is going into making life more enjoyable for my guy who's doing his part to adapt to life with PD.
(13)
Report

Sue,
Congrats on the house! Funny, I'm just reading my "expat" email about retiring to and living in other countries.... one I just finished reading and ruling out is Ireland.... some kind of rule about having a minimum income of 112,000 euro .... well that let's me out :) of course, I probably couldn't deal with the winters anyway! I'll just check out other countries for my "one day".
(2)
Report

Pam, pink Fostoria, that must have been beautiful. I use to collect the clear Fostoria, and so do my Mom. Once she passed, I decided to donate her collection along with mine to the local hospital Ladies Board yearly rummage sale.

I hated to have given even one piece away, but gone are the days when the boss would come to dinner, and one needed a really nice impressive place setting [like the boss really cared]. And gone are the days that the younger people want that stuff.

I went to the rummage sale on its last day just to see how my donations were doing. There sat all the beautiful Fostoria, priced dropped in half :(
(6)
Report

Sue, congrats on the house!! I feel your pain about the clutter. I am married to a packrat, so decluttering here is always a work in progress. I have to be sneaky about the Goodwill piles too, as he will want to save 90% of it, usually stuff that we haven't used for years. Because we never know if we might need it someday.
(3)
Report

So I plan a over night trip to a.c. leaving my 2 children 26 and 21 to take of my MIL well beside from ordering food for them they didnt eat because they were out. I told her they would be fine she got mad. But now we are having a problem with her experimenting with her medicine stop taking it for 3 weeks because CVS told her it was for osteoarthritis and she has minastia gravis a immune disease that cause numbers other problems. She thought it couldnt be working for her this is after years of taking she was fine till we went away for day. When we got home she wanted to call us she needs to go to her favorite Dr. General Dr For nothing but small talk and blood drawn. She doesn't listen to me when I told her I spoke, her neurologist, CVS and Mylan the maker of the drug. Nothing has changed except now she has it on her mind it not doing anything for her she is 97 and just wants full attention we live in her home and she still feels alone.
I can't ever do enough. Which is laundry, food shop, Dr appts, cook , clean I have my family to. This is my MIL with 3 sons 2 far away. I can't just stop caring for her but I want to scream sometimes because she expects to feel 20 again I wish I felt and did as much as she does without being sick ( crohns) and stressed everyday. I told her I was going out for a few hours she called to ask where I was. I can't get away from her for a minute. I definitely am going insane in the membrane. Today my husband set her straight we are your care givers if you won't listen to us for your own benefit. He will call his brother s and ask what to do with her. Since her middle son has POA. I never felt better for a moment. I wish she would trust me to do what's best for her going to Dr for nothing did her worse damage to her immune system because she will now get sick for going to the Dr for nothing. ...just wanted to vent again....
(3)
Report

My MIL lived with us for two years. One Monday morning, I called her to make sure she made it through the night. Her greeting was, "I need you to bring me an enama!"
When I told her I was at work 20 miles away, she said, "Well, when I get impacted it will be your fault!! Then you'll have to take time off of work to take me to the hospital!"
I suggested she call her son (my husband) since he was taking a kid to school which was close to home.
Her reply, "He needs to go to work."
Sigh.
Not like she couldn't see this problem coming...

I called my husband and he took care of the problem...including telling his mom that my work is just as important as his. Bless that man.
(11)
Report

Metoo,

Thank you for sharing this! It’s the most annoying thing. My mom feels men’s jobs, men’s everything is more important than anything on my agenda.

One day a light bulb went off when she told me not to bother my husband at work. I said to her how special daddy was to always help her when she needed him and that she was grateful to him. So I said to her that my husband was special too and just like she needed my father’s help from time to time and appreciated it, that I was deserving of my husband’s help too!

That shut her up!

Once in awhile I can think of a good comeback! Usually I think of something a day later.
(4)
Report

My mom has been in the hospital since April 28.
She is scared and feels alone and has lost contol of her life. I understand that.

I am so tired of listening to her cry about pain meds, the mistreatment by the nurses. etc ...

The doctors think its an obstruction again and she has been on a tpn diet (dont ask me what that means). Hydrocodone addiction is not helping the issue.

I have been up there everyday for 4-6 hours .
(3)
Report

Kellse,

I’m so sorry. Hospital stays are exhausting. They truly are, for the patient and family.

Has her doctor said if she will go home soon? What does the doctor say about treatment?
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter