I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Anyway, sad for you. :(
Sorry about your brother. Life has a way of catching up to them when they abuse their bodies. Happened to my brother too. It’s sometimes hard for me to believe he’s been dead since 2013. He had the liver issue too. It was different circumstances from your brother, not as much drinking, as most know on this site, his issue was drugs so he died from HepatitisC. It’s hard to watch a sibling destroy their life so I empathize with you.
I won’t see my mom for Christmas either. First time in my 64 years and I am trying to cope as best I can. It’s hard. Since she lives with my brother and his wife now I have been shut out of her life.
I can’t be around my brother since he threatened to go after me for elder abuse when mom complained to him because she didn’t get her way with everything.
Sadly, I lost my relationship with mom now when all I got was criticism and I told her if they can do better then go live with them.
I tried forever to have a relationship with my brother but he and I are just too different.
Mom couldn’t accept the boundaries I set and she always favored my brothers even though I was the one closest to my parents and did everything for them.
Mom pitted us against each other. My brothers used my parents to get money. I never did that. Oh well... I have no choice but to accept the way things are. My younger brother is just as bad.
I feel like an orphan now, no family. I do have a couple of cousins and my nieces and nephews that I see. I am grateful for that. Most of all I cherish my husband and daughters.
Yeah, so the holidays are especially emotionally hard for me this year. Still I am glad not to have the responsibility of being mom’s caregiver anymore. I did it for 15 years in my home and it nearly killed me. I love mom. I wish the best for her. I don’t know where she will end up, hospice in brother’s house or a facility or if I will even be told when she dies. I can’t focus on it for too long because I will sink into a deep depression. I want to live in the present and move forward. I can’t ever get the years back that I devoted to mom so I want to make the most of the years that I have left on this earth.
There is a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror. To all those who are struggling with care giving or the loss of a loved one, I wish you all the best.
I wish you all the best. I hope that you find the support that you need. I hope that you find healing and peace in your life.
this whole situation with my mom and Christmas has me officially depressed. Can’t shake the feeling of sadness and doom. In part because everything is different this year, my parents won’t be here, my in-laws won’t be here, and I’m not cooking a big meal and have planned something entirely different this year. 2nd Christmas in 12 years that my parents won’t be here. I had strongly suspected this would be the last year they came down, they are 71 and my moms health just gets worse every year. So does dads. Then there’s my mom. I don’t know if she’s actually sick or if the COPD has progessed a lot. She’s up to 4 liters oxygen and can’t walk but a few feet at a time. She hasn’t felt well for a few weeks and has a horrible horrible cough! So I’ve got a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m not sad if my brother has relapsed again. I’ve accepted his decisions long ago. I haven’t stressed or worried in years (well i’ve Worried he’d snap and do something to my parents but I haven’t worried about his physical well being in years). So if he drinks himself to death, it is what it is. And honestly it will make things easier after moms gone because I will be able to help my dad with his controlling and interference. My dad has never ever paid the bills in 42 years of marriage and has no idea what their bills even are. I will have to step in and take those over and I dread it. My brother has no idea what the bills are or how mom pays him but no doubt he is going to try to take control. So all of this is constantly running through my mind.
the family just gets smaller and smaller and it’s like history is repeating itself. Life was never the same after my grandma died in 87 and we stopped having a Christmas Eve party. Christmas got smaller and smaller each year and it usually just us 4 and my uncle. Then my parents started inviting a couple friends but Christmas small and I wished we had a big family to spend it with. With the death of my MIL, Christmas will never be the same and the family is much much smaller. Pretty soon it will just be the 4 of us. And that really makes me sad. I hate that my kids will feel the same way my brother and I did. It was lonely. And I know better now-I know that a big family isn’t necessarily sunshine and rainbows. But when you don’t have much of a family, it seems so wonderful to have grandparents, aunts, uncles and lots of cousins around!
So yes holiday depression is in full affect. I think I need to have a good cry sometime today so that I can pull it together and fake it enough that the kids can still enjoy Christmas.
needhelp, my heart is with you this Christmas. I’m so sorry things ended this way with your mom. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your husband and daughters—you deserve it!
I am not at all suicidal but I understand now why there are so many suicides this time of year. So
much pressure to be happy and with family. So much loneliness.The feeling has come & gone since I talked to my mom yesterday and she gave me the bad news but I’ve had moments where I just can’t wait for Christmas to be over and done with! Just get it all over and move on.
i dont put up with electronics bullying me . my 91 sonoma had a couple of fuel injection farts and i fitted a brand new 2 barrel carburetor on it . i carry a new inline fuel pump in the glove box -- takes about 10 minutes to replace if mine fails .
i guess you dont have that kind of freedom out in commiefornia .
yea , i have a hand choke -- i say what mixture my engine likes until it warms up .
Ouch! Hope you heal quickly.
Just got off the phone with mom & she listened to me & started the steroids and doing breathing treatments and she is feeling much better! Best of all, she coming down for Christmas!!!!! I am so happy, my heart is so full!!! My dad isn’t coming but I had forgotten that my late uncle’s (damn last month was the 10 year anniversary of his unexpected passing. Miss you uncle Andy) wife always drives down with my parents for Christmas & they drop her off at her sisters house. So she will driving down with mom!
we have to work monday , thursday , and friday out at the forestry . it seems strange because the state observes holidays that are yet to be created . monday ougtta be heterosexual caucasion male day -- not holding my breath though .
I always work Friday after thanksgiving too
of course today I’ve been sneezing all day
I guess I need to clean the house 😂
my dentist started my crown - said the two complications I had during root canal were rare and he suggested I try and get through the 2 hour procedure without more novacaine so as not to cause more trouble-
I could really care less about Xmas this year - I’ll be spending it at hoca with the Viking - not a word from her other kids or grandkids
i get up at 4 ; 30 so i have time for coffee and the subsequent bowel movement . then all the winter clothing layers , cell phone , boot knife , ' after work beer ' , etc
Hope your daughter is feeling better very soon. Merry Christmas To and your family.
up at 2 am , might as well stay up . the jerks at the forest havent been giving me a freedom challenged helper for a few days . ive been working too hard for a 60 ish yr old person . it ruins my evening what with the aches and pains and tired brain so if i want any quality leisure time it has to be in the early morning hours .
on a bright note , my girl boss has been treating me very sweetly . she SHOULD appreciate me . my good worksmanship makes her look more effective .
went online to book an appointment with the DMV and the next available time is not until mid-March - WTH - my license expires the end of January 😡😡😡😡😡😡
Luckily, I only need to take a vision test (old glasses though) so I'm hoping if I just brave the early morning cold and queue up at 6 am Monday I can get in without an appointment 😬😬😬😬😬
The last time, eight years ago (?) I renewed I was able to do it online, easy peasy.
I searched online from the mountains to the sea to the high desert and found only one appointment in early Feb which is still after my birthday - without a real ID DL, won't be able to board a plane after Sep 2020, so this must be the reason there are no appointments
my license has been auto renewed twice during the past 15 years so I have to go in person - did look again at mailer and it says I only need to take a vision test so that's good - although I probably need new glasses
it's set to rain again Monday - hope no one else is waiting in line when local DMV office opens at 7 am
What a pain!