Follow
Share
Read More
Send,

I wholeheartedly agree. My dad taught me as a teenager to drive defensively.

Glad you avoided an accident.
(2)
Report

After I had a wreck when I was young,I had to take a defensive driving class and I'm glad I did because it's helped me alot through the years.It was just bad that the teacher was the one I'd had before in Driver's Ed. that taught me to drive in the first place.
Glad you dodged a wreck Send~Good going!
(2)
Report

Wondering if everyone is getting a little nervous to drive as they age. It seems downright dangerous now, at least to me. Getting a little tired of being hypervigilant. The proverbial question: Is it just me?

I already took a senior's driving class. It did make me more confident.
But the drivers on the road did not take an extra class, unless it was a stunt driver's class on a speedway.
(3)
Report

Some of you might remember me mentioning that I have anxiety problems while driving, it's been several year since I've had a full blown panic attack but of course the possibility is almost always on my mind whenever I get in the car. I've come to realize one of my main triggers is when I feel boxed in but modern drivers all seem to feel most comfortable 15 feet off my back bumper - it doesn't matter whether I'm going slow or driving like a bat outta h3ll some yahoo always gets in my space and my only recourse is to turn off and let the fool by. If there was some other viable alternative I'd gladly never drive again.
(6)
Report

The other day the doctors office sent a senior doctor with a resident to make a home visit to my motherinlaw. I think it was part of training for the resident. Before the visit, MiL felt lousy and weak and had trouble walking. After the visit, she was all wrung out and weary. But during the visit- she was bright-eyed and friendly, the ultimate hostess, holding court for her two doctor visitors. They thought she was doing great. Afterward, when she looked like a balloon with the air all gone out, I said, Well, you sure perked up for your visitors! She said, “I HAD to! But I did fake it a little.” I don’t know why I felt so peeved by this little scene except that I get the short end of the stick. She lets the lousy, weary, deflated side out for me to deal with, while the sweet, bright-eyed side is on display for the doctors’ brief visit, and they think she’s doing great. Meh. Just needed to vent.
(6)
Report

There is so much emotional incest on this site.
(0)
Report

Had a parenting fail. I was Just outwitted by my 8 year old!
The other day during my Costco trip, I bought the kids, as a treat, a box of “Hostess Donettes”, mini donuts. They came in a big box and in the big box was a box of chocolate mini donuts and a box of white powdered donuts. My son had pack of chocolate donuts this morning and when I saw him with another pack of chocolate donuts mid afternoon, I told him to put them back because he already had one today. “One per day” I told him. So tonight I fixed the kids dinner and then hopped in the shower while they ate. When I was done, I went to the living room and had this conversation with my son:

me: “son did you eat your dinner?”
son: grins at me “yes but I cheated the system”.
me: “how did you cheat the system?”
son: holds up a pack of white powered donuts with one left “i already had the chocolate ones today but I didn’t have the white ones yet”.

I had to admit I laughed at that because he DID the system! He found a loophole and abused it! We did have a discussion about and now he knows I meant one pack total per day, not one pack of each. And now I am left wondering where the heck this kid learned about “cheating the system”.
(4)
Report

Emotional incest? Please explain that remark. I don't quite get what you mean by that.
(1)
Report

Gershun,

Google it and you will find that emotional or "covert" incest means the same as an enmeshed emotional relationship except it is with a family member like mother/ daughter, father/daughter, or mother/son. In such bonds, the parent has made their child their emotional partner sometimes in response to a bad marriage or a divorce.

My mom did this to me as a divorced mom, and my wife's mom did this to her. My wife's dad did this with her identical twin sister. Having twins, their parents primarily focused on one child more than on the other.

There is a good article on Psych Central about this.

Patricia Love wrote a book about this, The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life.

Kenneth Adams has written two books on this, Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, and When He’s Married to Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment.

Someone, not me, will one day write a book for mother enmeshed daughters.

So often when we hear the word "incest" we think sex. There's nothing sexual about emotional or covert incest. However, some of the resulting problems can be similar to victims of overt incest which is sexual. There is a thin line between the two which sometimes is crossed, but that is another dynamic.

I just get so frustrated seeing this dynamic that I feel like being blunt and calling it emotional incest instead of parent/child emotional enmeshment.
(2)
Report

Okay, I get it. Thx for the explanation.
(1)
Report

We just lost a legend :( Kobe Bryant was apparently killed in a helicopter crash this morning!!! His wife just had their 4th daughter! This is just awful. Hoping TMZ’s site was just hacked but there was in fact a helicopter crash in calabasis a little while ago. ETonline is reporting it too though.
wow
ETA—was just confirmed :(
(1)
Report

So sad Worried, a sports legend.
Unconfirmed, and evolving news reports Kobe's 4 young daughters were also killed in the crash.
Of course we wish this was untrue, all of it.
In addition to his family's loss, in addition to sports fan's loss, my condolences to at home caregivers receiving this sad news in tears today.

You are not alone in your grief.
Horrific and sad news.
(0)
Report

Hugs everyone.🏀
(2)
Report

it’s horrific news Send. America is grieving today

My God they confirmed his 13 year daughter was killed, along with one of her team mates and their parent. As a wife and mother I cannot even begin to imagine the grief! Kobe Bryant is a legend to my generation. He was 2 years older than me. Watching someone our age play for the NBA was huge. This is a very sad day.
(4)
Report

This is when we question why? It feels like a bad dream to hear of such a tragic death. I feel terribly for his wife, family and friends.
(0)
Report

Today is the day that hubs has chosen to mess up. He is not home to shower on schedule for work. I am not feeling in rescue mode, but after my shower, I am leaving to avoid this scenario.
(2)
Report

Send,

I don’t blame you. You are his wife. Not his mother. You don’t have to rescue him.
(1)
Report

Kobe Bryant was a convicted rapist.

I feel sad for his 13 year old, but nothing to miss about him.
(0)
Report

Realyreal........Bryant was charged with rape of a 19 y/o but the case was dropped; no resolution or conviction came of it, unfortunately. The woman refused to testify.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/27/sports/basketball/kobe-bryant-rape-case.html
(2)
Report

Every day every day mostly during the evening my Mother wants to go home to her Mother who has been Deceased for 30 years. She yells and makes noise with anything she can get her hands on, saying I hate this place I want to get out of here. She has been living with me for 30 years. She has LBD. I had to leave my life to care for her, and at times I hate my life. I am an only child, my father passed away years ago. But in her mind her Mother Father sister & her are living happily in the 1930’s. Oh god give me strength!
(3)
Report

Kobe Bryant was definitely not a convicted rapist. People should do their research.
(2)
Report

People believe that he paid 2.5 million to the woman that accused him of rape. That is why she didn't testify. Says he convicted himself to people.
(0)
Report

Not sure how this conversation turned to Kobe Bryant!!
Coming from Colorado, I can tell you that he was not very welcome there! Having said that, can anyone tell me the names of the other victims on the helicopter?? If not, why not??
I feel so sorry for those who lost loved ones in the crash and have been all but forgotten!
Were their lives any less important??
(1)
Report

Does anyone have the 'read aloud' feature on their computers?
Kinda turns words into an audio book.

Oh no! How do you turn it off? How far back does it go?
Somebody help me!
(0)
Report

Ok, that worked, clicking like a monkey.
Someone standing outside my window would have gotten an earful....
emotional incest? And everything else.
(2)
Report

Isn't that kind of like cheating reading? If you use an audio book or read aloud feature?
(1)
Report

I don't know the complete story with Kobe Bryant but I was having a discussion with my hubs today about it. What bothers me is how society has gotten to the point where athletes are worshiped like Gods. Same with pop stars. There is a real kind of obsessive thing that goes on where people like Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods etc. do disgusting things and then because people don't want to give up their adoration somehow the bad things these people do are brushed under the carpet so everyone can have their idol back. Now I don't like to speak ill of the dead so R I P Kobe Bryant. Maybe he turned his life around and if he did good for him. Everyone deserves to be forgiven but having said that............I think we should keep things in perspective. There were other people who died in that helicopter crash. Is anyone having a vigil for them? Just saying.
(4)
Report

Very well put Gershun. Thank you for pointing out how idols and legends are allowed to behave in the most heinous ways and get a free pass because they make people feel good.
(1)
Report

Gershun,

I am glad that Tiger is back in his game and he really struggled with it due to health issues. I admire him for saying he wanted to be back on top for his kids to remember him as a professional golfer and not as the serial cheater he became with his wife. She had to leave him. He was off the rails for awhile.

Do you think that when some people reach that kind of fame they lose it? You know, they can’t handle the fame in a healthy way. They think they can do whatever they like.

Tiger was a bit crazy in his personal life and I am sure that his wife felt like she had no other choice but to leave him. Like Weinstein’s wife. Some stay, Cosby’s wife didn’t divorce him.

I can’t imagine finding out that my husband was a serial cheater. People forgive after an affair but I feel serial cheating is a different story.
(0)
Report

xray,

All lives are important. Everyone on the helicopter matters. There was a small plane that crashed before our LSU championship game. One of our local newscasters was killed. All deaths are sad. Personally, I think we should respect the privacy of those who lost loved ones. They are grieving and don’t want to face the press. Kate Spade’s husband wanted to be left alone to grieve in peace without having a camera shoved in his face. I hate seeing a microphone or camera shoved in someone’s face. Sad.

I don’t think anyone feels more sad just because a person is famous. They feel sad because a life was lost, no matter who it is. I would feel bad for a life loss if it was an ordinary person like myself or a famous person.

It just makes headlines for the famous.
(2)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter