I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I need to set back-to-back appointments for Mom and Dad eye doctor... Mom and Dad blood work and general physical... Mom and Dad dermatologist.... Mom GYN which means another appointment mammogram.... oops, I forgot, back to the hearing aid person.... and I need to juggle these appointments around my own doctor appointments, of which there are many, and work schedule which means half a day off for each one.
Do you feel like screaming if you see one more waiting room?
I know what you mean about the jeep.. I have had SUVs for 15 years now. I work at the Hop in Baltimore and they expect me to be there too. However, thanks to the magic of FMLA and the fact that the CG can't get to our house if the snow is too bad... win win for me!!! It's an hour drive for me one way, and I am getting too old for the stress of that drive in the snow and ice. However, I will say that last year I spent 2 nights in a hotel in Bmore due to the weather.So I could work. Thank God hubs stepped up with the generator and potty water...
"When told the reason for daylight savings time the old Indian said, "Only the Government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket".
HA!
So treat yourself to something this month. Find a way to find a parent-sitter. Movie? Have lunch at that restaurant you always wanted to go to? As for me, I splurged by buying most of my favorite author's ebook series. I have reread her books several times. I'm going to re-read it again. Each time I read it, I find stuff that I didn't catch previously. Either that, or I'm getting forgetful! =)
So... Kudos to all of Us Caregivers! And Experienced caregivers who still help out here on AC even when they're no longer caregiving.
I know it doesn't make sense because if cancer is found no surgeon is going to touch her at that age, and I doubt any Oncologist will give her chemo. Mom is very hard of hearing so it is difficult to discuss this with her. I will need to corner her GYN and ask her what should we do... I don't think Medicare even pays for mammograms in that age group.
Then I go into a cold sweat and overwhelming memories hits me big time because the imaging center is the same place where I learned I had breast cancer 5 years ago. Sitting in the waiting room makes me want to cry. My parents never knew I had cancer because Dad was still in recovery from a heart attack, so their household was in overdrive, to me I didn't feel fair to announce what was happening to me. I held this secret from all my relatives because I didn't want it to slip out to my parents.
Personally, if your mother doesn't need the mammogram, then cancel the appointment. Make up something to tell her if you need to -- something about AMA standards changing to once every 3 years for women over age 80 or something like that.
You do NOT need to put yourself through this, so don't.
I have a similar issue with Mom's oncologist who she has been seeing for 20 some years because Mom last a low blood count, but on her last visit the doctor said don't come back because, if she hadn't got leukemia by now, she won't get getting it. Come next summer it will be struggle to convince her of what he said.
Same situation with Mom's urologist, she has a very slow moving bladder cancer and the doctor also said she doesn't need to come back... this cancer won't be the death of her. Why put her through this check-up.
Believe me, if a doctor said everything is fine, I don't need to see you anymore, I would be happy as a clam :)
your mother is 97 ? wow
im constantly amazed at the ww11 vets who are still in our communities . i know a few of them and if they have any health problems they never speak a word about it . just some hardcore old fellows .. many of them are in their 90 ' s ..
The flip side of this was my Mama would not go to a doctor for years and years and then when she started falling and breaking bones she still did not want to go, but thankfully the doctors she came into contact with did not recommend that she do so either...other than the things necessary for their comfort at this point.
colonoscopies are lifesavers at any age and the slight surgery required shouldnt pose a problem for a patient of any age .
i understand your message but colonoscopies might have been a bad example as the procedure is so non invasive .
ct scans have became so effective that they catch everything from arterial plaque to small cancers in their infancy . in fact theyve became so effective that autopsies are being performed with them -- no scalpel or cutting needed .
every nation uses drugs , always have and always will . im not saying its a wise thing to do . im just saying drug abuse isnt going to go away .
I am worried about Mama tonight. She has had a fever most of the day, which I have managed to get at bay now and have been in contact with our Hospice team...I know this is going to be part of it...but it is frightening nonetheless...I was changing her tonight and to my horror found NO urine output....I am monitoring this carefully and have been informed to call Hospice if there are any further changes...her breathing is good, she took her meds, she is not very hungry but I know with a fever that is not uncommon and she has eaten well up to now...but still it is frightening...am going to watch her a while longer and then try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is my doctor's appointment and am wishing now I didn't have to go....must remember, God is in control....
good luck to you hope . youve had a lot of personal turmoil . try to be as cheerful with mom as possible under the circumstances . its the smiles and laughter that youll remember after shes gone . my aunt in spite of her age and dementia is one who keeps it light and chuckles a lot . ill have great memories of the many hearty laughs weve had . my mom was ill with bipolar most of her life so the laughs were few and far between . caring for her in her final months was tense and difficult . men dont handle the crying jags very well ..
Our parents are too old. It's a fact, and it shouldn't be hurtful if a doctor tells you that.
And once they lose their ability to think, what's the point? No, I'm not for killing them off before their time, but at some point we have to accept the fact that they die because their bodies just can't pump the blood through the 80 plus year old veins that have had blood pumped through them for, well, 80 years plus.
While it's hurtful, it's fact. And at some point we need to accept fact, at some point we are all going to die. I know my mom is too old at the age of 91. She's just too old.
Note: doctors don't usually put the death as age related, there's always some cause they use, heart failure (which is true, the heart failed because the heart was 'too old', or kidney failure, (yes, the kidney's fail because they are 'too old'.
We cannot expect our elders to be around forever and once we understand that with our brains, not our hearts, we will all be better off.
Maybe we should just say "still old," but that feels a bit crass. :-/