I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Good idea about drawing up a caregiver contract... wonder if I can have it retro back to the beginning? I am positive at least one of my brothers will show his head when mom passes with his hand out... thinking I should sell this house, which is my home, so he can get his share. Ain't happening. It is just awful how this disease not only rips apart your loved one, but also rips apart a lot of families. I don't want to guilt anyone to do anything... just step up to the plate and participate. To me, it's that simple. Do what needs done. Everyone will want something in the end, yet no one but me stepped up.
I'm just tired. I don't want to do this alone anymore... it is just too hard for me mentally which creates physical fatigue. Which makes me babble on like this. Sigh.
I had to take out breakables from moms room last night, errr, early morning like 3:00 a.m. She had her mothers antique matching lamps on her dresser and broke one. Mom would be horrified, just horrified if she could realize it broke. Actually, I am pretty sure if mom realized she was doing what she does... she would have ended it long ago.
One last babble. I was reading on Oregon's requirements for hospice. Mom qualifies under the Alzheimers part. She's lost more than 10 percent of body weight and has had a UTI in the last 6 months. Her monthly doc appt is on the 18th. I think I shall ask him if it's time.
I have the headache from hell.
If it helps ease her paranoia and gets her to eat more.... win win there is zero harm in that equation :)
It does get tiring and sounds to me like your Mom would qualify for Hospice. We were told that we would qualify prior to Mama becoming bedfast but I never wanted to do it..Don't ask me why but I resisted. But once Mama became bedfast I knew I had to have some help...While most everything is still on me, just having them come out three times a week to bathe her and having a nurse check on her twice a week is awesome and gives me peace of mind. I can't deny that the folks have become like friends and family I look forward to seeing.
Mama is having a better day today and for that I am so thankful. My brother most always comes by on Sunday for a brief visit with her, but today I am already dressed and ready and I am going to hop in the car and just go somewhere and let him watch her...Just because I want to feel the sun on my face..and who knows where I may go...but I'm going if I don't do anything but ride around in circles....
I hope you get some help from Hospice...God bless your sweet heart...Ah, here's brother...great outdoors here I come!!!
We pulled up to the building and noticed no cars in front.... oops, are we too early as I know those home made apple pies sell out quickly.... walked up to the store front and notice no lights on.... it was closed, empty of its former self. Darn it. Said store was the mainstay of that area for decades and decades, people would travel for miles for their home made pies. Another pie dealer we are familiar with will be taking over according to the sign on the door.... but those pies are smaller, aren't near the quality, and don't have that made at home feel :(
Oh well, we tried, but had to tell ourselves we got out of the house and enjoyed the ride :)
Especially when I order a new office chair online, only to find that the fixed arms (not adjustable) are WAY TOO HIGH for me to use without my shoulders being hunched up to my ears, rendering the chair useless. My shoulders and arms are screaming at me from trying to use it before I finally gave up. Last time I order a chair online - ever.
Gonna go find some Aleve or something.....
maybe a local welder could make your chair work for you . ive been wanting to pimp out ednas wheelchair and if i end up with mpoa the chair will be lowered to nh therapy depts recommendations .
hope and jeanette ,
youll have peace of mind when your incredibly difficult journey is over . youll have a big void in your life and even an occasional regret but you will have satisfied the person that matters the most at that point -- yourselves . there were reasons i didnt go to my moms funeral . for one , she wasnt there and secondly i didnt feel the need to prove anything to anyone . it was time for the church people to shine . i dont care for shiny things ..
pamz... rugs are the elderly's enemy. I took every single throw rug out of this house within a few months after I arrived. They may love them but those rugs are dangerous. I use a non slip bath rug only when mom takes her shower, after that, I pull it up..... they trip the feet, the walkers and those walker chair thingies. It doesn't matter how big the rug is, how non skid it is... it is higher than their foot. Thus a safety hazard. Just my opinion.
hope honey, I hope you enjoyed your few hours out in the wilderness!! I love those few hours I get... fall is spectacular here and the great outdoors is always, always calling me to come play!
yea its common knowledge that as dementia worsens so too does the shuffle walking .
This chair is truly awesome to behold - sturdier and heavier than any chair I've ever seen, white leather and gorgeous, but I just can't use it! Makes me mad. Oh, and I'm only 5'1" - so you get the idea...shoulders hunched, feet just a-swinging and in more pain than I've been in for many years.
Cap, I do have a welding friend who may be able to do something. I LOVE this chair. It's the most comfortable, beautiful chair I've ever had - except it drives my carpal tunnel, tendonitis and arthritis absolutely insane. (That's 25 years of office/computer work talking right there...) This is the first time in *years* that all three of those maladies have kicked in at the same time, so I know it was completely positional - and that comes from the chair.
im an ergonomics freak . my sons are the same way . we'll flip a piece of furniture over and modify it until it works for us . i made my aunt a " half " pillow out of a furry cushion and of course some mason string to bind it into a cylinder and it is by far her most treasured possession at nh . its purple and pretty and she looks absolutely angelic lying in bed with it loosely tucked under her neck .
i personally sit in a camaro bucket seat with two concrete blocks under it . automobile seats are designed to spend hours in with no chance of relief . they HAVE to take lumbar and load distribution into account .
Cap... I almost cried at your description of Edna... purple pillow, angelic... pretty :))) Surely you must love dogs!! ;)
Mom ate like a sumo wrestler tonight. Wow!! An entire pickle sandwich... a bowl of soup and 2 ensures. My kind of girl!
Did I mention I love you guys on here.... all of you. I treasure each and every post... one day I will be able to help others more ... I know I stick to this thread... my mind just can't venture too far :)
I don't like the socks with the grips because if I'm in a hurry and they do their job and 'grip'.
Been told by a mom's podiatrist that one should only wear shoes, slippers that you can't twist easily. That's all well and good, but half the time they aren't comfortable. She wears Buster Brown one hundred per cent cotton socks I found on Amazon. Pricey, but worth it. No elastic.
.
Captain....the funeral thing...I am having the oddest thoughts about that and am having a lot of anxiety about it here as well. If I am being totally honest, I am not wanting to go the route of a full blown long, extended visitation, funeral, etc....I remember when my Daddy died, we went through that and oh how many people came and told us how much they loved him, how much he meant to them, how they could not have made it in their early years had he not been there for him...and yet....not one single one of those people came to see him while he was ALIVE....one of my friends who we practically raised as a small child came and told me, "I wanted to visit so much but I knew it would just be too hard on me.." really????? hard on YOU....I don't have a lot of use for people who are all into the grandstanding and making an appearance when it does not matter one iota anymore....My brother expressed concern that I did not have a burial policy on myself and that I needed to be sure to get one ...I told him I could care less what happens to me when I am gone because I already have been made well aware of how people felt while I was alive and as far as I was concerned he could just roll me down the hill into the woods and let the coyotes do the rest. I am serious..God knows my heart...what does it matter all the fluff and finery when I am gone.
Now as for when that time comes for Mama, there are things I want to do for her, from me and my brother, as an honor to her, but folks here seem to be into the two day visitation and the long winded fancy funeral...I would prefer a small simple but loving goodbye...that is heartfelt...that is all that matters....I'm with you on all the shiny church folks.
The meds my doctor put me on are EXCELLENT! So far the pain in my hip and leg that has been almost debilitating is G O N E! I have had three restful nights in a row and the depression meds seem to be "smoothing me out"....again I say...why on earth I did not do that sooner...stubborn I know..but wow...what a difference. I pray I will be able to deal with the daily bumps in the road a lot better now....it is sunny her... a beautiful fall day...and I am feeling so blessed...Mama is so happy and that is the whole point of all of this....so thankful!
Either way, I'll figure it out.
I used to take Lexapro 20 mg and Adderall and LOVED that combo, but the Adderall is a controlled substance and while it was not addictive to me, since it is a narcotic, I am assuming the place I went to the doctor would not prescrive it because of that because I saw a sign that said they would not...
I hope that helps. It is so hard to find one that works . I have tried Zoloft too, and that one did help somewhat...but so far I am really findng this combination has a wonderfully "smoothing out" effect on me without making me sleepy... yay!!!
Veronica - I tried six ways from Sunday to make this chair work before I gave up and went out to the curb and dragged my old chair back into the house. (I had put it out for the trash when I got the new chair put together.) Thank goodness no one had come along and taken the old chair yet - stuff put out to the curb around here lasts all of about 30 minutes if you're lucky, before someone comes through and rifles through it or snags whatever looks good to them. Just glad it was still there.
I have a footstool under the desk to elevate my legs a bit, because I have a hereditary medical issue that causes edema in my legs - we call it the 40-year-curse, because everyone in our family develops the same issue right around age 40. I tried:
-lowest chair setting, feet up on footrest, keyboard on keyboard tray
-highest chair setting, feet up on footrest, keyboard on keyboard tray
-highest chair setting, feet up on footrest, keyboard on top of desk
-lowest chair setting, sitting on a cushion, feet up on footrest, keyboard on keyboard tray
-lowest chair setting, sitting on cushion, feet up on footrest, keyboard on top of desk
-medium chair setting, keyboard on keyboard tray
-medium chair setting, keyboard on top of desk
...and a partridge in a pear tree.....
I finally gave up. You guys would have been laughing your butts off at me. It was like dancing Swan Lake with a chair.... LOL
Today is Monday, right?
My new laptop got accidentally bumped off the table.
It finally was dry enough to mow the front and back yard. Cranked up the riding mower... 97% done when I stopped it to pick up a piece of newspaper near the sidewalk... nothing like a billion pieces of paper everywhere... went to start it....ZZZZZzzzz It's like the thing that spins inside when you start it somehow stripped?? Got the tools out.... smacked the wheel spinning part with a hammer.... tried to spin it myself... nothing. Just more Zzzzzzzzipppppp crud. I could care less but it's in the front yard by the sidewalk. I am not strong enough to push it back through the gate to the backyard. I started to tow it with the Jeep. Right.
Cap! What's going on with my mower? When I go to start it the spinning part seems to have frozen up? Why? It was running just fine... had a full tuneup prior to summer. Grrr
susan , a good welder / fabricator can make anything happen .
jeanette , fk dogs ( verily ) .
tgengine . your buccaneers might be plugged because you need some ear wax softener and a bulb syringe of warm water to wash the hardened wax out of them . the wax traps water when you shower and makes things even worse .
ive just had one of the most interesting days ive ever had in my life . i probably wont battle for ednas poa . she has declined so markedly in the last few days that she doesnt need any kind of upheaval or family drama . she isnt in mortal distress but shes clearly losing her mind . she just sits in the hallways wondering what she should be doing . shes in good hands at nh and i hope they can coerce pia into letting edna into the memory care wing . sometimes things dont workout because they just arent meant to be or arent self evident enough to make themselves happen .
so heather and i went to the forestry to cut firewood . got to the fire trail gate / cable to find my key missing from my keyring and a tire on the log splitter is flat . not to be deterred we let ourselves in by loosening a cable clamp and proceeded to get our quota of oak wood . during the 3 hr process i sawed us an oak tire out of about a 14 inch diameter tree that already had a pithy hole in the center and bolted it onto the splitter axle . i didnt want to destroy my tire or rim driving back home with a flat . when we left , we limpd*cked down the road with our wooden tire for about 2 miles until we saw a homeowner we thought would let us leave the splitter there all night . the homeowner was my first cousin " sherry " whom i haven seen in appr 42 years . we hit it off really well and my splitter is locked up safely at her house . if somebody does try to steal it they aint going very fast or very far with that eccentric wooden tire . went back to betsys house and found my missing gate key with its broken , cheap chinese wire tie lying in her car seat . ive got the load of red oak from h*ll for my delirious renter upstairs who aint sure whether shes going to need more firewood this winter or not . ( she will unless she moves out and in that case my new renter will be buying it .
edna will be getting her new hearing aid pronto and nh will be paying for it since it was lost on their watch .
what i learned today ;
you win some and you lose some but you dont let the small stuff wreck your plan for the day . after all -- its really only all about TODAY . tomorrow isnt guaranteed .