I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
You did not mention blood in your eyes? Or are the whites looking like blood?
Is there any blood flowing?
Like ITRR said:
"No more internet cures".
I would stop all treatments that might irritate or inflame tissues, easy on the Wasabe!
She's immobile and tells me to have my phone when I'm outside. While I'm half-way done watering, she calls me wondering if I'm back in the house. I was and I was getting ready to water some more, at HER request.
While I'm outside finishing up, she calls me wondering if I'm back in the house. After getting back in, I told her I was watering some more. I had to walk closer to her because the TV volume is up and she can't quite hear me. As I get closer, I asked her "yes?" and had to almost yell it out. She starts to get emotional and says "I'm stuck in here."
I hope the friend of hers reaches out to me to tell me what her PT niece has to say regarding PT SOON. Like me, she wants my mom to get better and realizes I can't help forever and she's long overdue for extra help. And I hope the friend is able to convince her to start some form of PT ASAP.
If she cared as much, if not, more about actually getting better than what she has inside and outside the house and put in 100x more effort than she does, she'd be mobile and be able to water the plants herself. Dieting alone isn't the solution.
She is able to order you around to do her bidding. She can manipulate you by becoming emotional. She has no reason to change her way of life, has she?
On the 19th I will start counseling to help get me thru this mess. I was wondering if anyone else in here has had to do that to try and put themselves somewhat back together during and after what every blessed person in this forum goes thru on a daily basis? Anyway, just thought I would share that I am finally going to get some help for myself for a change. As much as I hate to admit it, dad's mess dragged me down with him. Have a great day all. Just know we are all in this mess together.
bob - you don't have to do everything you mum tells you too.. I certainly didn't. I decided for myself what made sense and what I wanted to/could do. Her wish doesn't have to be your command. It's called setting boundaries A good book on that is by Cloud and Townsend which is recommended here often.
kashi (((( hugs)))) sounds like she is slipping. It's a hard time.
nolan glad you are starting counselling. I have gone off and on all my adult life foe family of origin issues. Addictions and mental health problems mess up everyone in the family. Hope it works out very well for you.
ITRR, I'm using a CS spray, too. It's great! Also took sublingual CS.
The head pressure has been intense with this. It doesn't seem like anything seasonal or allergy-related, and not like my previous sinusitis.
Blickbob, it took me too many years to realize I truly can't change anyone else's behavior besides my own. I hope your mom gets PT, but waiting on a friend who has to talk to their niece to get something going... none of that sounds like an actual PLAN, or like it has any probability of happening. You're still going to have to take care of your own well-being and not sacrifice yourself for your mother. She has real problems, but she's either going to do something about them... or she won't. You should determine what YOU are going to do because that's the behavior you can control. You're going to run in circles forever trying to get someone else to do things they haven't decided are important enough to them yet. And like Barb said, why would it be important for your mom to change her immobility when she's got you...?
Nolan, I'm glad you're getting counseling and glad your dad is safe. Did he stop drinking altogether? I'm wishing you well as you move forward from here.
My whine today is about cleaning fridges. No fun but good exercise in bending and stretching. With only me here I don't have to clean my fridge as often as I used to, but when I do I tear the thing apart.
Do those squats, seniors!!! They help you do your house hold chores. 😉
Our summers are so short and people long for hot weather! But I can't bear it at 86F. Good reason to have lots of cool drinks.:-)
But have fun cleaning your fridge! :)
Any squat you do builds up your leg muscles which then protect your knees. Start with one squat, holding on to a chair if you need to and only going as low as is not too uncomfortable. Only one, then when it feels OK do two and so on. The whole point is to build muscle. If you start with an unrealistic goal you won't do any - right? lol So start with a realistic goal that you can achieve. Baby steps!!!
Actually I am enjoying cleaning my fridge. Nearly done!
Glad you are enjoying the fridge cleaning. :)
I am experimenting with a way to get the same glute building effect without bending my knees 😂
Maybe squeezing a ball between bended knees while lying? Also 'clams' while side lying?
I am seeing the physio this week - will ask!!
Gershun, I started putting a scoop of 10g collagen powder in my morning coffee six months ago. I did it for vanity because I hoped it would help my hair loss. It did, and it was noticeable right away when my hair stopped coming out as much when I washed it. But I feel like it's helped my joints, too. I don't get as much pain and daily cracka-laka that I used to get in my neck. If you're interested in trying it, I recommend this one I researched and settled on: Multi Collagen Protein Powder 32 oz Type I, II, III, V, X Hydrolyzed Collagen Peptides by Horbaach. It's been helpful when so many other supplements have been "meh -- maybe it helps, maybe not; I'm not sure."
Golden, I take inositol every morning, too, and thank you for getting me started by discussing it here on AC. I think it helps. I take different things, but inositol and collagen are two of my favorites that I take every single day because I can tell the difference.
There are so many great at-home exercises. If anyone ever cracks the code for motivation to do them, that'll be the big thing. :) Stay strong and well, all.
Do a utube search for homemade packs, the packets which are required for it to run are a tad expensive.
Those day are gone. He has tried many rental places unsuccessfully, and they have smaller inventories than before as there wasn't the same demand, and, of course, the prices have gone up. He is on a waiting list for a van at over $80/day!!
when she hits a button that does nothing the TV makes a sound.
thunk
thunk
thunk
almost like dripping water, but louder, bigger,
or an out of tune piano key
thunk
”ma, whatcha doing?”
”I dunno”
”you need help?”
”I wanna watch Blue Bloods/NCIS/Hawaii 5-0”
”you mean ION channel 23? The only channel you ever watch?”
”yes”
—-take remote—
“mom that’s the channel it’s on”
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Who is 'that woman?" I get my friend KFC sometimes. He loves to suck on the wings / bones. He is thin (89) so whatever will keep / put weight on him is good. I also get him watermelon and/or strawberries which he loves. If you want to eat healthier, get her healthier foods. I know what you mean. I eat the KFC too and I wouldn't touch it for over 30 years ...
32 minutes and counting of listening to this terrible, circa-1987 hold music.
So, after 40 minutes on hold, I finally got through to someone at SSA. I said why I was calling (something you can't do online, you can only call), was asked the usual identification questions, then was put on hold. For another 25 minutes. And then I was hung up on.
Ugh!