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Hi BarbBrooklyn! Thanks also to you, for guiding me back on track!

"I can't possibly do that"

In fact I do indeed use phrases like that.

“Nobody except YOU can take care of your mental and physical health.”

Thanks! So true. And the abuse destroyed me…my mind, my spirit, my body…

I’m currently working hard on only MY mental and physical health.
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Venting, I'm so glad to hear that you're getting back on track!

Have you read anything about Fear, Obligation and Guilt (F.O.G.)?

If you believe that your loved one is "simply" mean and not demented or mentally ill, then she should be able to learn that if she utters a lie, abuse or anything else vile, you will walk out (of the room, the house, the area) and not help her for the rest of that day.

Perhaps try this ("I'll see you when you are feeling better") and just leave. Do not engage in a discussion with her.

Do this several days in a row and let us know how it goes!
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Thanks BarbBrooklyn!
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Today mom ripped the sides of the new depends before I put them on her. I asked her why she did that. Just to get ahead, she said. 😶
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@Isthisrealyreal, these antics are unabashedly funny to me too, but only after several hours have elapsed 😊
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Just a whine about all the TV commercials. I know they pay for the show, but I bet if I taped the show and later removed all the commercials, that half-hour show would only be 15 minutes long.

Some times on an hour long show, by the time the first set of commercials are through, I've forgotten what I was watching :P
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FF, bite the bullet and go to streaming. We "pay" to view no matter what: regular tv isn't free, we pay by suffering through the commercials (thank goodness for the mute button). Or, if you have a smart tv, you can pause the show for 15 minutes when the first commercials run, then you can fast foward through them the rest of the program. Some tvs won't let you pause for long -- ours is a very old "smart" tv so it limits us. Cable is soooo expensive.
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Natasha, your anecdote reminded me of one from my husband's grandmother. She said she hated getting fresh flowers because they were just gonna die.
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I have a dimmer switch for my hallway lights. I just realized today that Mom thinks it's the thermostat. No wonder she's always complaining how our house is too bright and shouldn't be so cold 😶
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My whine moment?

I want to be a wiser person. I have a sneeeeeaky suspicion I lack wisdom in my life.

The wiser you are, the more you know what to do - instead of me, sometimes so unsure.
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I think that "with age comes wisdom" is a myth, the only wisdom I've gained is being self assured enough to say no, and also the realization that most people are wrapped up in their own life and other than momentary notice (positive or negative) could care less what I do.
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I agree with you Cwillie!

Regarding me:
strangely, I feel I was wiser when I was a child. I understood things/life much better.

I think I’ve been beaten down by my abusive mom over the years. It has clouded my vision. I’m very busy healing, and then defending myself again against her abuse, and then avoiding her, and then protecting myself against her, and then…

See? I spend way too much time with her - ON MY MIND, even when I’m doing my own things. Abusers take up so much brain space: you’re either protecting yourself or busy recovering from abuse.

I think I was a wise child. I’ll try to find myself again.
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For those of us who’re having a hard day, and feeling negative, and needing some positive sentences to lift us up:

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.”

“Count your age by friends, not years.”

“If you wait, all that happens is you get older.”

“Life is a series of baby steps.”

“When you think positive, good things happen.”

:)
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@Bandy7 Thank you for your kind words.
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For me, this saying sums it up pretty good.

Good judgment comes from experience and ALOT of that comes from bad judgment.

I hope my judgment is improving as I go through experiences. :-)
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Where did the little accessibility avatar go? My settings seem to have gone with it.😧😧
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glad - Mine has disappeared too. My settings seem to be intact.
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The avatar is back this morning as are my settings.
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Mom got up around 1:00 a.m. this morning 😖:
Me: mom why are you walking around the house in the middle of the night?
Mom: I'm not walking around. I went in a straight line from my room to here.
Me: 😶
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No whining. Actually, a thank you.

A positive. Do you also feel sometimes that your friends on the forum are more your friends, than your real life friends? (I’m not saying one should compare friendships). I’ll speak for myself: I feel much more understood at times, by my forum friends than by my friends in real life. Here on the forum we’re going through the same struggles, often suffering. It feels great to be understood!

Thank you.
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Mom has a bad habit of peeing in the trash can. When she does the urine runs down her legs, wets her socks and shoes, and generally makes a mess in and around the trash can. Yesterday I discovered such a mess :( In frustration I told mom that when she straddles the trash can the pee gets all over her and everything else! All she had to say was: I didn't straddle it. I tipped it a bit this way then squatted. Ai yai yai.....
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Oh boy,, my whine has nothing to do with caregiving,,, except I bought my latest SUV for hauling Mom and Aunt around. It is my 5th SUV of this model and I loved the last 4, this one was the first model year of a new model ( if that makes sense they upgrade every so often) My hubs and I were hesitant but I needed a bigger SUV because the ladies had more "stuff" walkers, rollators you know". we were worried about the "new model year curse" and boy did we get it! It has been recalled 2x, cameras work when they want to, transmission issue . All got sort of fixed. Yesterday when I was going to the carpool site the touch screen crapped out. OK, I still have speedometer and such just no radio or GPS, all good until until I hit the city.. transmission issues! Not where I want to break down as Baltimore is a pit! When we went to leave the touch screen was working,, OK! Hooray! Hubs and DD tracking me on phones and a friend ready to pick us up if it crapped out but other than lurching good to the highway. I just wanted to get to home town before it was not running. Made it almost the whole way home! It was horrible on our country road but I limped into the garage. They can't see it until the 15th! What the heck! Luckily I have Moms sweet old ride to get to work and drive until then,, but I am not a happy camper! I know there are supply issues but this is only 2 years old and I just paid it off,, and lemon laws are hard to prove. Hopefully they can get it fixed before Christmas!
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Pam I hope your vehicle starts behaving properly. I always buy a demo model so it has been run in. New ones can be great but if you get a lemon you are in big trouble.

My whine today is snow removal. Since I started with the city Snow Angels someone has turned up when it snows to clear my driveway. In the past if they haven't found a volunteer the city sends labourers to do it. No such thing this year. My driveway is shin deep in snow. I emailed the city and was told I had to reapply every year and they sent me a sheaf of papers to fill out sign and send back. I did so and got the reply that basically if someone in my area volunteers they will let me know. There is a new person in charge of Snow Angels and it seems they could care less. DD says dgs will do it, but that requires me to drive to their place, pick him up and take him to my place to shovel, then take him for a meal and drive him home. That uses up too much of my energy budget for the day,
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Anti-whine!!! Bless God!!!

I contacted a snow removal company, they called back that they were in the area and could come soon. They came, cleared the driveway and put down some salt I had as it is very slippery and its done for $75.00. I may try to work out a contract with them if Snow Angels doesn't come through. Once the salt has acted the driveway will be usable. Right now I don't want to try walking on it.
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My whine for today is that my mother seems to think I exist to serve her, and that nobody else in my family matters. Today my husband had no clean underwear and had to wear gym shorts under his jeans. He said it wasn't too bad.
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Is my mom the first to put depends on inside out? With the waterproof side against her skin? So, guess what happens? Yep, a neat cup of liquid gold just sloshing around as she walks to the commode. When we pull down the depends it cascades! I asked mom how in the world did that happen? Mom: I guess the cat jumped up there and knocked it over. 🙄
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When my YouTube tv decides to randomly change my viewing area.

Doesn't happen often, but this morning I woke up in Montana.😳😳😏😏
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My elderly parent clogged their toilet again. It's 11 pm. I can't get it unclogged. Get frustrated. They make comments and gaslight. I get triggered and yell just so they'll stop talking. Of course, I'm the POS and so mean to her. I'm the one here 24/7 ... Right by their side. I get to get irritated and upset. Feel like I don't do enough and don't do it right if I do do it. Mental gymnastics are wearing me out.
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My whine moment…
Just had a very frustrating conversation with my mom’s caregiver.

The person has never had an abusive family member. My mom is abusive towards me. We started talking about my mom’s abusiveness (the caregiver started the conversation), and the person can’t comprehend that not all mothers are kind. It’s like the person doesn’t believe me.

I understand there’s a conflict of interest: my mom employs the caregiver, so the caregiver wants to be “on my mother’s side “. But it feels very bad, not to be believed, understood, empathized with.
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dear venting,

i think it has everything to do with conflict of interest. i bet anyone else has been sympathetic, empathetic.

courage.
you be you.
and be glad - you’re - not an abusive person.
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