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I am so sorry for all that is going on in your family, Barb. Sometimes it doesn't rain but it pours. I understand about your dh retaining his intelligence but not his judgement. Mother did the same and she had a prodigious intelligence which didn't make things easier as her judgement failed. I bet the road ahead looks very rocky right now. It's not his fault. It is a health condition. Discussions with him may not help a lot. Wishing you all the best working with his dr.

I agree you have to distance from your dd. You only have so much energy. I hate when life throws us these bombs. (((((((hugs))))))
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2 whines, both double sided so to speak. I finally got my 3rd covid booster shoot. Apparently they are only good for 5 months. Of course I am aching today which means it is working which is good. Donuts, coffee and tylenol for breakfast. Donuts are an occasional treat for me.

R has cancer confirmed and cryosurgery is the treatment. The stats for cure are very good so he just has to go through it now. He says he will come up before this surgery and we will plan the move after this surgery but before his knee surgery. Okay!!! His call. His various doctors are in touch with one another and he won't lose his place on the knee surgery list. How I will cope with moving, selling the house, setting in and post op surgery caregiving I don't know. One step at a time. This is NOT how I pictured the move - sandwiched in between surgeries. One good thing, the surgeries aren't mine.

In addition, I just got a call from my dr re the lab results so something is off. Oh well. Again - one step at a time.
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Dear Golden, thanks for the support and good advice.

I'm so sorry that you've got so much on YOUR plate!
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Golden,

Glad you’re up to date with your vaccines. We are too. Fortunately, no side effects from the vaccine other than the typical sore arm for us.

My daughters feel funky with each vaccine. Everyone reacts differently to it.

So sorry about R’s cancer diagnosis. I am glad to hear that the stats are in favor of a good outcome.

You’re right, ‘one day at the time’ is the best way to get through difficult times.

I wish that I could get back all the time that I spent worrying about things. It took me quite a while before I got a handle on my anxiety.

I know that there are times in our lives when it is completely normal to be anxious, but I can definitely look back at certain times in my life and see that I worried needlessly.

I think that I subconsciously picked up the ‘worry’ habit from my parents when they were going through trying to deal with their stuff.

It took therapy for me to realize what was going on with my emotions.

I will say a prayer that your lab results are nothing serious.
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Golden, Hope those labs are OK. Glad to know your hubby has a plan now, and will follow through with his treatment. I know he will have your great support. You will get advice and advice and advice and advice so try to just let him make his decisions for his case with his doctor, and explain you appreciate their advice but it only confuses matters. The thing when I had my breast cancer so long ago that bothered me most was "constipation" and "advice" from others. I got through the surgery and treatments just fine otherwise. Tell him we are all in his corner.
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FF,

I have never understood why people feel the need to post their entire life story on Facebook. It’s so strange to me.

I see the value in Facebook but I haven’t ever felt a need to participate. I understand that people use it to stay in touch with friends and family members, and sharing photos. Those things are great.

Most of my friends have an account. Some of my family members do too. They all begged me to sign up but I have no desire to. I call, text or email friends and family.

It’s like any other social media, it can be utilized for good purposes or for ridiculous, crazy or stupid things!
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Need and Alva, thx The lab test are not OK or they would not have called me in for an appointment so soon. I only had them done yesterday starting at after 2 pm.

Alva - It must be the ECG as they won't have the other results yet. The tech asked more questions than before while doing the ECG. I know there can be cardiovascular problems with CFS/FM and I know I haven't been able to climb slopes like I used to. I'm OK on the level but not on hills. I used to be fine before I got CFS/FM. Other than that I haven't experienced any shortness of breath, fainting, swelling or anything like that.

G is set on his treatment path and I don't expect much advice from anyone I know. He is comfortable with his doctor which is good. I am sure he will get through it well.

Need - Yeah, feeling the booster shot this time - not so much a sore arm as generally feeling like I have flu. It will pass. Seeing the dr on Monday. Thx for prayers. Much appreciated.

How is your dd doing after surgery?
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Having a very negative day today. Sorry I've been venting. Hubby is away on a business trip. I've been fielding FIL phone calls solo this week. My posts weren't helpful. I apologize. Many other peoples' situations are worse than mine.
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Way2tired,

Hey, this is a caregiver forum. You are welcome to vent! We all do at times.
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Thank you NeedHelpWithMom,
I feel like caregiving on and off for sooo many years has a cumulative effect.
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Way2tired,

Caregiving certainly does take it’s toll on us. I took care of my parents too. Mom lived with me for 14 years. She died at the age of 95 in a hospice care home. My dad died several years before mom.

I love your screen name. It says it all! It’s mentally and physically exhausting to be a caregiver.
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Way2tiired - vent all you like. No one is judging you. I am sure caregiving for many years has an accumulative effect as does having a narc mother. Can some one else do some of this caregiving. It sounds like you need a break! Be sure to look after yourself.

*Correction to my post below - apparently all the lab results can be in this early so it may be blood or urine results that are off not just the ECG. I showed the tech my squats and suggested she start doing them lol
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NeedHelpWithMom,

Thank you for the validation. I haven't even mentioned that last year in the middle of everything with FIL, hubby had a cancer scare. The report of his MRI stated that he had a highly suspicious growth with characteristics of a type of very aggressive malignant tumor. I don't think its always a good thing that we can read our own tests results online because I of googled the name of the type of tumor and life expectancy was 1-2 years. Anyway, he had surgery and it was Benign.

And btw, hubby and I don't have FaceBook either. Never have . Like you we text, email , call.
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golden23. Thank you.

I love how you put an extra "i" making my name Way2tiired. That's perfect!!
I wish i had thought of that.
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Dear Golden,
For me as well 2 or more whines today!
Looks like we are in similar situation.
My ex has cancer, although advanced and it concerns me as he is a father of my only child, who is devastated. Glad that R is doing something quickly.
And we will be moving as well, just like you, almost sure about condo we want, but have to prepare our home for sale, not difficult to sell as everything around us is selling quickly.
One thing is I will be selling or giving away almost everything, almost all furniture will be gone.
Like you I am doing this all alone, as my husband’s PD is getting worse, so I am planning either somebody to take care of him during move or respite care i.e. he goes to facility for a week, so I can get movers, then deliveries and so on.
It will be OK. Now, that is 3 or more months away so I am going to plan, but, for now I am sick of our Canadian winter, so much snow, and more next week.
Hope all your tests are OK.
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I am up to date on my vaccines too. There are people that are strongly opposed to especially this third booster and drawing parallels between increased strokes/heart attacks, etc. I did hear a story on the news just a couple of days ago that there are studies that are showing connections between artificial sweeteners and heart/strokes.
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To all,
I thank all of you for your support since I recently joined. You are a great bunch!!
Prayers to you and yours.
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way2 - you sound tiired!!! There are good supportive people here and a number of us have or had narc mothers so we understand. Mine lived to 106 so I was 81 before I was "released" from duty.

eva - Canadian winters, unless in the southern most parts, are too long!!!!. R was told he could think about the treatment for a couple of months if he wanted to and then was asked when he wanted surgery. He said how about in two days! I'm sorry about your ex. I have already purchased the condo and am pretty well ready to move. There are been a number of things slowing us down, including now his dx. Very difficult for you with hubby with PD. Respite sounds like a good idea. Coordinating it all isn't easy. Apparently tests are not OK or they wouldn't have called me. I am hoping it is something simple. We don't need more complications right now.

glad - I suspect we will be offered regular covid boosters like flu shots. I'm OK with that. I read that about erythritol sweetener, Not sure it is a big concern for the average person with a healthy CV system at this point.

Prayers appreciated for nothing complicated showing in my tests.
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Praying for you Barb and your husband. Also praying for you Golden. I hope nothing big is going on re: your lab results.

Speaking of squats, my physio guy has added that to my exercise homework. I'm about to start with that. I have osteoporosis in my knees so I need to be careful.
Wish me luck!
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Thank you, gershun. Wishing you the best with your squats. In the long run they will help your knees.

Anti-whine - All the achy post-booster shot symptoms have disappeared. My arm isn't even sore. So thankful!!! Must have been the chocolate-glazed donuts for breakfast lol.🍩 🍩
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Gershun, love your avatar, always makes me smile.
Do squats slowly. I am ashamed to say I am pretty good with taking care of myself but not so much lately.
I went to Mexico for a month and did lots of swimming, walking etc. Now back home I am discouraged somewhat, need to be outdoors more.
Golden, the snow will stay till April, on my balcony I can hardly see chairs it is so much. Allowing myself another whine and vent today. Wishing everybody luck!
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My cat glances up now and then when I'm doing my physio exercises. I think he's getting bored with it now. :)

My physio guy has me leaning over a chair to do the squats cause my balance still isn't great on my injured side. But I did them. 12 exercises in all including the squats. By the time I've done them all I'm ready for bed. Tired I am.

Where's my chocolate glazed donut. I think I deserve one. DH bought a tin of Quality Street chocolates over. I guess I'll settle for one of those.
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Well done, gershun. Chocolates it is for now, I guess, Enjoy your rest. 🛏 💤
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Our high temp in New Orleans today was 83!

We don’t get much of the cooler weather.
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My neighbours are in their 80's, they don't need to have their drive cleaned out before 6:00 am. 😫🥱
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cwillie, here in the MN burbs we just accept that plowmen have to work through the night to clear all their contract driveways. My son did it for a while, too. Everyone who paid the fee upfront wants to wake up to a clear driveway... not possible most of the time. They plan their routes and timing based on proximity of clients. I share your frustration... my bedroom window is opposite (and close to) my neighbor's driveway and his always got plowed at the wee hours of the morning because he went to work at 5:30am.
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I'm in a small town Geaton (less than 5000 souls) so I don't think it should be a big deal for the snowblower guy to change up his route. But hey, he usually comes before 5:00 so.....

On the plus side I'm thankful a neighbour I've never seen before brought his snowblower over to clean out the end of my driveway, and he even came back a second time after the plough went by.
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Bandy7, that 50 year old guy is in all the social media photos/films with her. I wonder how embarrassed the teenagers are that their Mom and "step-father" are on social media. I would have been horrified if my own parents did that when I was a teen in the 1960's.... can you imagine.

I wandered into Facebook just to see what it was about. I was so happy to find cousins, who were strangers to me [as they were so much younger], asking me to join their pages :) Now I am slowly figuring out who is who, a plus for my genealogy.

Plus I love the group that posts historic advertisements from the 1950's and 1960's. Oh my gosh, remember orange shag rugs? Tupperware?

Who pays for "likes"? YouTube will pay but the rules are very complex, one would need a Philadelphia lawyer to explain it. And one needs something like 100,000 subscribers to one's account. Pretend married couple has around 100, long ways to go before one hears the cash register.
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Oops, I spelled plow the old fashioned way. A Google search told me

British and Australian writers always use plough, along with ploughed and ploughing; American and Canadian writers always use plow, plowed, and plowing. Both spellings are pronounced the same.

"Canadian writers always use plow" - unless they are over a certain age perhaps?
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Years ago, one winter I caught my Dad, who was in his 90's, shoveling his driveway.

I asked Dad why was he out in such cold weather lifting heavy snow. He said "in case of an emergency". I said if there was an emergency, the fire department have their own shovels. I think my Mom was behind all of this, as my Dad would have known better. Or he wanted to get out of that 80 degree house.
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