I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
books, many years ago. May have been that one. Honestly I was young and I remember making me feel very shocked. Often thought of reading it again, but I do think some of the stuff I read , has stuck with me.
I will definitely read it again. .
I love Mitch Album, Tuesday with Murray , is my favorite I think everyone should read.
Just be you - you are fine as just being you. We all are influenced by those we meet.
This man is an inspiration to me:
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
He was a Holocaust survivor so he knew what bad circumstances out of his control were.
Just goes to show you, when I grow up, 😁 I wants be a little bit of you and a little bit of Alva
You are right there are definitely situations that are horrible and are completely out of are control.
We can only control are selves and how we react to this situation.
Random example, police brutality:
A police officer beats up, kills someone, with no justification. The civilian attacked had no choice, no options, no means to defend themselves.
“"it" is out of control for all of us.”
No. There are situations that are in our control.
“what can you do to be your own miracle? Change isn't easy, Without change there is no change.”
It’s not that kind of situation, otherwise I would have done something about it. It’s completely out of my control. Hopefully luck comes my way, and things turn around for me.
Llama, I feel you about dental work. I just got back from
the dentist. It's been nothing but dental work for me lately.
I just had my last of 4 crowns put in today. All on the right
side. Apparently I grind my teeth a lot. Probably stress.
Nacy -so glad your mom is doing well physically. Hopefully her brain will comeback to where it was. Brain fog is the pits. When things get too busy around here, mine kicks in. Glad your OB is picking up now. The after effects can hang on a long time. You are right - the diet stuff is not fun between fodmaps and allergies.
Beatty - hard knowing what lies ahead - you can see it but not stop it. Self care is so important - and time out. Great reminder for all of us. Thank you.
Right now the fire is on, the day is still bright, the trees are lovely, the kitty is cuddly, I am warm and fed, and solvent and I have started another book. Counting my blessings helps. I had my 87th birthday a few weeks ago.and am thankful to be here and as good as I am.
When you write it all down in a condensed way - that is just TOO MUCH for 1-2 years.
I feel the similar about the ride..
My ride is chugging along ok today but the dangerous corners & giant scary dips are within view now. Just up ahead. So close.
I think I am safer to cling tightly on, than get off at this stage.
But. For you Gershun, for any of you, if you need to step out, take a break, tune out man like a 60s hippy.. do it. Take that time for self-care.
Even if it is 5 minutes sitting looking at a tree today.
🌳🌴🌵
Gershun, my OB has been a year and a half since covid. He is just starting to seem like his old self. He did just get done with physical therapy, for neck pain and strength. It really helped him a lot. Maybe you can do physical therapy?
Saw mom today she is doing pretty good, after covid. Physical really good, after a week with covid. Brain health, not so great, but it's really early to tell , and I expected it.
It's been a bad last two years for me. Starting with breaking my
foot. Then we had a bug infestation in our home. Then gastro
problems which got worse when I was given strong antibiotics
for a kidney infection. Then getting covid which changed something
in me cause I don't feel I've been the same since.
Then this year both of my DH's parents were diagnosed with cancer.
My precious kitty died and now my DH's father is receiving end of life
care in hospital. Ironically he isn't dying of cancer but due to complications
due to the treatment for the cancer.
Stop this ride. I want to get off now!
venting - I know this is old, but what can you do to be your own miracle? Change isn't easy, Without change there is no change. All the same, I wish you better times ahead and for you to see a way through to them.
Alva - that has been such a bummer! May it be as harmless as the last one. I am truly sorry for your dd. But glad you and your partner are still standing. Hope the dog is a comfort.
Hothouse - First of all Happy Birthday for tomorrow. 🎂 I am so sorry for your friend's illness, the loss of your mother and all the things you have had to deal with. It's good you are looking for joy. May you find it in abundance at times.
Nacy - good perspective. I think most of us have had ups and downs.
Way - What a lot of loss!!! I've had years like that. Groundhog day with mil. That's a b*tch. She is a handful. Making friends when you are older isn't easy and you never get ones again who have lived half their life with you. I am so sorry about your older sister. Retirement need not be lonely. You will meet new people but you will also miss the old friends who have passed.
Hanging in here, enjoying a bright sunlit day, one hour at a time.
My whine is that poor R is a bit flakier than usual, I think. He gets very frustrated
when phone calls and appointments don't go "right". He's trying to follow up on his treatment, but meeting a few dead ends. The hospital clinic he was referred for concussion follow up only take sport injuries. He just told me that now a month or more later. He can't get into his doctor for at least a month for a referral to a neurologist, as his physio says he needs one b/c she is working in the dark. So we figured out how to get a referral sooner through a walk in clinic here today - hope it works. I told him to give feedback to the hospital that their referral was no good for him. He has misplaced his AB health card and the walk in clinic receptionist says the number he gave her doesn't work and so on.
I have to be the voice of reason here and do some online research for him. He gets distracted by the ads on a website and assumes the page is not what he needs. (when it is) so his frustration increases. This is not so different from pre accident as his ADHD does the same, but maybe a little worse. Of course, he has more to deal with as well with insurance - injury and property. Some one hit his vehicle three years ago and that one is still not resolved. The law courts grind slowly.
My sensitivity to dairy has increased, so foods I tolerated before give me cruel headaches now, so it is back to looking for really dairy free, gluten free stuff. I'm off chocolate and peanut butter till I find some and that which isn't laden with sugar.
On the other hand, I signed the house sale documents at the lawyers yesterday and we went out for a celebratory lunch. It was a pleasant low key day and I enjoyed it. R is off posting the rest of my keys to the real estate agent so it is peaceful here. All I want is a little hum drum!
Thanks for the opportunity to vent. It helps.
Way , you have had a bad year! 😔
Not getting my hopes up for 2025 either .
Let’s see , The saga that started with my FIL 3 years ago did end in 2024, however we are now in similar problems with MIL , 87, anosagnosia , undiagnosed dementia , stubborn , denial. It’s the Fall of 2021 all over again .
My older sister is declining , early vascular dementia . She is the only one of my 4 siblings I am close to . 69 yo.
My good friend 66 years old died last week of lung cancer ( never smoked ).
Another good friend is battling breast cancer , just finished treatments , she’s aged about 10 years this year . 74 yo
Another good friend with Alzheimer’s has declined a lot this year . 74 yo .
My best friends are 10-15 years older than I am , I’m 59. They were either former coworkers or neighbors .
I feel like I’m looking at a future lonely retirement .
No. But thanks for your optimism. 😉
Try thinking in terms of bad months, instead of bad years. In a whole year I'm sure there was a lot of good in-between too.
My year has been filled with ups and downs, up and down.
Houseflower, I hope you do something special for yourself, tomorrow! And Happy Birthday 🎈
I try to find joy where I can but it is hard.
It meant for me a return after 37 years of a breast cancer.
It meant my daughter suffering chronic pain from torn and shredded hip muscles that got missed for three years while doctors told her that the pain was from her back with its bulging disc.
I am seeing crumping of friends all about me.
We can't place our little foster dog and we SHOULD NOT be keeping another dog in our 80s.
Yet and all I count the lucky we, my partner and I, are still standing, because HE is skinny as a rail and could be blown over by a gust.
Now, there. I have whined enough.
I hope things get better for you venting.
Just need a miracle for things to flip around, and it turns out to be the best year of my life.
for a bad mood.
I'd forgotten how demanding MS coursework is: how demanding it is to take in, absorb, multiple chapters of books and multiple research articles, and then apply that info to specific questions and churn out something coherent.... every single week.
I'm thankful I have a place to vent; I apologize that it's not related to caregiving. However, I was thinking about past times when I've had similar feelings of being overwhelmed to the point of being highly agitated -- can't focus, can't quite gather your thoughts... and that's a feeling I distinctly recall from the caregiving years. It's a tough place to be in, psychologically and emotionally.
I hope you're keeping your level today. Take good care of yourself. 💜
This was my first week back in my MS program after about 9 months away. I'm reacting like a fussy toddler and just DON'T WANT TO DO THIS WORK.
But of course, I DO want to do it. It's always interesting; just challenging. And I hate reading and writing so much but I've grown to love it in past school terms and I'm sure I will again.
But today's brain workload took me into meltdown-ish territory. I'm getting through it, but it's taking some determination... and I phoned a friend for a pep talk lifesaver. Ugh. I can do this. Don't overcomplicate it, Ali. Just do the work. 💪
Been a while since I've been on this challenging horse. Gotta get back in the saddle.
I'll just state the glaringly obvious.
Dementia takes way too long. The fact that a human brain takes 5, 9, or 20 years to fall apart is ridiculous.
I'm sick of mom's escalating, outrageous problems and if I wasn't happily married I'd run away and hide.
But a whine here. We had an arrangement at the lake for the neighbour to cut the grass in exchange for storing his motorhome on our lot. It worked well for years. Due to his surgeries and whatever R hadn't been out there for a couple of years and was shocked when he arrived at the lot. The drive was almost grown over, there are many, many poplar saplings growing everywhere and the tansy is out of control. He introduced himself to the new owner who is nice and explained the situation. A couple of our trees had fallen onto their property which they disposed of, and there are more dead/old ones that need to come down. He said he and his brothers would help R with them which is great.
I am really surprised that the village didn't inform us. They always have before. The property on the other side is a double lot with a house and people living in it and the part of that near us is out of control too, so whoever is managing the village has changed or the policy has changed. Anyway, we made a plan as to how to tackle this, but it's not the highest on the list which is getting longer daily it seems.
Way - we plan on taking a few days at our local fave hotel -hot tub. meals out etc.