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Ugh, sorry to hear you're having a bad day, Tex! Hopefully things will improve soon. We all have those days now and then - trust me, I had a looloo of a bad day last week- doing better now. Hang in there.
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I certainly do not have a halo,wouldn't want one.Yes, I have had difficult patients,the difference was there wasn't the emotional involvement of them being my parent,one that I don't like and would have chosen to never be around again.Also, she isn't that wild about me and I know living with me was not her plan but sometimes life just doesn't work out as planned.I wish I could call a taxi but I live in a rural area and also because of her osteoarthritis I need to be near her while she is moving.A fall is actually her biggest health risk at present.I try to keep her environment as fall proof as I can,always on the alert like a watch dog.Yes, I grin and bear it. I wonder if that is going to eventually put me in the class of caregivers that die before the one they are taking care of dies simply because I imploded from all the grinning and bearing it.
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Tex, I don't know that I could live without sarcasm. But, I have to tell you, since I have been coming to AC I flatter myself that I am much improved. In America sarcasm is used judiciously, when called for. In the UK it's a way of life - no wonder we're all so permanently sore.
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Tex, love and hugs to you from me.
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Oh Tex can I send you some polish for your halo?
Being over 70 does not give you any more rights to agression than you have now.
Take yourself back and learn to say "No" don't do anything unless it will not adversely affect you. Choose a few things she actually wants to do like visit the beauty shop and tell her you don't feel like going out and give her the phone number of a taxi service or someone you know who would like to make a little extra money by giving her a ride. Things she needs to do like PT and dr visits you may just have to grin and bear it. Consider yourselt free to become a b**ch begining today. No warning outsmart the old trout. She is very smart so keep one step ahead of her. You managed that with difficult patients so practise what you spent years learning.
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My b*tch for the AM.Have already put her Christmas cards in the mail to people who never call, will get another ink cartridge so I can make more prints of her stupid Christmas letter to more people who never call,will also take her to PT today even though I don't feel like it,get her bathed, change her BSC,do her meds, make sure she is fed, make sure her dogs are cared for, return the traction device(very heavy) that she just had to have and then didn't want it after using it one time and do her bills and probably some other stuff that I do so routinely for her I'm not even aware of,she basically let me know she didn't think I was as efficient as my friend that helps out with some cleaning and takes her shopping once a week.Told her to call ( my friend's name) if she didn't like my services and she replied sarcastically I will. I can't stand the sight of her right now and yet I am about to take her to PT because it really does her a lot of good, make myself be pleasant, be aware not to be verbally sarcastic in defense(sarcasm is considered verbal aggression)of course it's okay for her to do this to me.The day I get over 70 if I ever do I am going to become a complete b*tch as apparently society is accepting of this.
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Jeanette - do a Google search on how to make a weighted blanket - I've seen tutorials for them. My grandson has SPD and Verbal and Physical Apraxia, among other disorders - I looked into making one for him at one time.
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oh my gosh.... this site has a lot of pop ups and they stole 3 paragraphs from me! Ha! Lucky you ;)

Glad the doldrums left Susan! No rush trying to get the house cleaned up... if it's like mine, it will look exactly the same in a few days! I hated to cook dinner my kitchen was so clean.... grrr

Yes pamz, mom takes agitation meds. This is not an every day occurrence... maybe twice weekly. It does keep her fit and trim and fully exercised, cept it swells her legs n feet up. When she finally crashes I elevate them and they go back to normal. It may seem nerve wracking... it IS a lot easier than entertaining her hours on end every day. She entertains herself. Please don't take it as me being harsh... I did get a lot done today. Other than knocking her out with drugs... this is just the way it is on some days. Yes, I keep all 6 eyes on her... mine and 2 dogs that is. We all make sure she's safe.

Has anyone tried the "weighted blanket"? It's used for Autism as a sensory tool. They are so darn expensive though.... I'd love to try one on mom at night to see if it helps eases her fears so she can sleep better, and ME! It might be worthwhile for me to buy a used sewing machine and make my own d*mn blankie?

Oh, she had a very filling dinner and desert... she's still up n going. I, on the other hand, am getting sleepy as heck.

Susan, my tubs are stacked in the mud room.... seems like I just move this crap from space to space :/

hope? haven't heard from you in awhile. How are you doing and how's your lovely mama? check in girl....
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FF, so glad your surgery went well and you're home. I do hope you can find some time to recuperate, but with Dad's fall, it doesn't sound likely. :-(

Jeanette, geez, I wish your mom would find a place to light and stay there, for your sake! I know that has to be nerve-wracking, keeping an eye out for where she's at all the time.

Our house is a HUGE mess right now. All I've been able to do for the past week is keep my head above water with the laundry and that's it. So now I'm scrambling to get dishes done, and having to negotiate the obstacle course caused by all the storage totes of stuff from the Christmas party last weekend, which are stacked in the kitchen, which is as far as I got when I hauled them in. Tomorrow should be a fairly slow work day, so I'll tackle the consolidation of the Christmas party stuff down into fewer totes and put them away for another year, get all the dishes cleaned up, do a little food prep for the week and try to get the house in order again. Still don't have the tree up or all the Christmas decor up yet either...just not really in the mood, but I need to do it for mom. And Christmas cards to send out. I'm back out of the doldrums and raring to go...glad to be back. I hate feeling like that, but I think it happens to the best of us from time to time. I just needed to get out of the house for a while, I think.

Spent 3 hours helping a friend with their computer issues tonight. Got them through 3 forgotten passwords, set up a few "housekeeping" type programs for them and cleaned up viruses, adware and malware on 2 computers. My good deed quota is filled for the week, I think!
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Is your Mom on anything for her agitation? dad started the night time "up all night" thing about 2 weeks ago.. we were all fried! I got him some meds and we are all sleeping again. Just still getting things adjusted to deal with the daytime sleepies now. It was gonna kill us. I can;t imagine how you have done it so long!
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Blimey. She must be as fit as a fiddle by now, surely? Whereas in your shoes I'd be crying in a corner. I can only hope mother's arthritis will keep her in her chair if her brain ever gets to this phase. Hugs.
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I had to disconnect the text alarm from the camera in her room. 40 plus times a night? Uh - NO! I just peek at the video feed from time to time...

Not fair is right! hehe, by the 3rd night of respite care and you feel like maybe you can sleep.... they come home! LOL! Not that I would know.... I'm just sure it's gotta be one of those "Murphy's Law" phenomenons.

She's still going.... hasn't sat for 2 minutes this entire day, much less last night. Wow. I'm impressed.
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my bunker is all squeaky clean . #or heather cleaned it up for a little christmas money . the last time it was vaccumed was last august when heather helped me move home . i drag in a steady supply of sand and mortar dust . id rather see it lay in the old carpeting than to vaccume it into the air and breathe it every week . its just the way i roll . societys standards dont mean s*it to me . i look at modern man then at his neanderthal ancestors then find a middle ground that works for me . heather loves my bunker and sees the simplicity and beauty of it . there is nothing in this bunker that isnt essential . kinda like the cartoon smurf houses . theres a phsyc medical term for a minimalist but i cant remember what it is offhand . the minimalist is just as crazy as the hoarder but they operate oppositely of each other . some day when i crappy off the division of assets will be as simple as dumping the nickle jar into two seperate jars .
anyway , while she cleaned the dump up i got my end of year tax ledger all ready to go . im not lazy or a procrastinator , there are just things that matter to me and things that dont .
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Jeanette, what had me screeching with frustration is that it seems to take at least three nights into respite care before you can sleep through: you find your ears are twitching of their own accord because the alarm's NOT going off. Not fair!
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I can't remember when I had a good, decent, sound and refreshing sleep. What is it like? Sleeping with one ear, one eye and the door open is exhausting... mom has been on yet another marathon pace - since yesterday - I kid you not. Her little feeties just march along until she comes to a corner and can't figure out how to get out of it, yet, those feeties keep marching in place. Then the talking starts... I finally gave up around 4:00 a.m., secured everything I could think of and just let her be marching to her own drum. She is the energizer bunny... just keeps going and going. I kept hearing her talking - even in my so called sleep I hear her.

I just hate wintertime too. Wait, in South Florida I didn't hate it, I loved it. Now I hate it. (imagine my ears laid back and eyes are slits) cold, dark n gray. No colors. Plus side is the Christmas lights look pretty at night, especially in a light fog. Meh...

We stopped by my p/t carer's apt yesterday to see her tree. OMG I didn't know such clean tidy places existed anymore :0 not a speck to be seen, nothing out of place and and .... guess who has been viciously cleaning all day while mom marathons? Yip, me. Why bother though since it will be a short week until it's back to clutter as usual. Really think a few giant garbage bags will do the trick or lots of boxes ... then a mega garage sale in Spring :)
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Hey ff, glad you made it home safe n sound and ... of course, dad is ok! Scary when they fall and you find them. D*mn stubborn ole fools! :)))
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Your Dad didn't expect you to drive him to the doctor's for a check-up, then? Well that's something! - even your parents are cutting you a tiny bit of slack, so take advantage and take proper care of yourself, promise. Hope the recovery goes smoothly, cautious hugs (minding any sore bits). Glad he's ok, too.
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Well, had my kidney stone surgery this past Thursday... oh my gosh the surgery was 2 hours long.... now a days you get discharged to go home the very same day... with in 2 hours of surgery... to the care of someone who is totally clueless how to be Florence Nightingale or Dr. Welby..

Had to chuckle regarding the discharge papers, especially where it says after 24 hours you can go back to your normal activities.... say what?... whomever wrote this form sheet never had this surgery, and/or maybe if I was 40 years younger I would be able to bounce back that quickly. I feel like something the cat dragged in. No going back to work tomorrow and the next day.

Of course, the day after my sugery, my Dad [93] fell in his garage. My sig other didn't want leave me home alone but I told him go see what is going on. Apparently my Dad had fallen a hour prior and laid there the whole time, Mom didn't hear him call for help. Dad is doing ok now. Since it was a nice sunny day, I bet my Dad wanted to go outside to mulch some leaves with his lawn mower. Dad doesn't like all those leaves on his front yard but he refuses to pay someone to do the work. I had a landscaping service out recently who mulched all the leaves... whew, now one less worry for myself. Wish Dad would realize he can no longer do that type of work, but he's stubborn.
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i just hate wintertime . even after 25 yrs in construction it never gets easier . i feel like i should be outside kicking things around but if one looks around NOBODY is outside kicking things around . i do things much differently than a " tinkerer " . i tend to get the right things staged in the right place and then hit it like a typhoon , essentially so i can go back to lying in the shade and lickin my n*ts . i shouldnt feel so bad about it . a lot of the animal kingdom operates that way . maybe thats why a lion is so ferocious . hes thinking " man if i have to do this , something is gonna die " .
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Susan! - that is genuinely :-P

It is never going to catch on, not in the classier cocktail bars anyway.
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Hobbesmom: I used to cook double meals so I could bring my parents a homecooked meal. My mom refuses to cook and hasn't since my Dad retired in 1995. They went out twice a day to dine. After he died 8 years ago, she is only interested in dining out.. nothing home cooked. A home cooked meal to her is takeout from anywhere. Fine by me. She never appreciated my meals. She was jealous that my Dad loved them so much. I'd bake for her.. and she'd rave about some bakery item someone dropped off to her. So now I do the same.. drop off bakery items. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. She's fine now going out to dine once every week or so with me, but daily? NOT happening! She'll call me with guilt trips about having to eat a sandwich for dinner... her choice. I tell her to open a can of soup to go along with the sandwich. Or call for takeout delivery. I'm lucky she's still able to care for herself. But I can see the handwriting on the wall and I'm staving it off for as long as I can... cuz when the time comes... I'm IT!!!!! I'm so lucky to have found this website. You caregivers... should all be sainted someday.
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What have we learned by this? Nothing, sadly ...except never to cook so then you don't have to hear people whine when it's not good enough, etc. No.

No. What we have learned is that people who are "challenged" and are on their way out still have cravings for tasty things...thing you or I may not be able to fulfill, but they are there just the same. Part of me cries because they may not remember you or me...but yet they still remember that flavor/taste/smell. All you or I can do is try our best to recreate those flavors/tastes/smells for them. If we can't...then just say so.
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Fligirl - I hope they can get your mom's heart rate worked out.

Cap, I think you're right - it's a constant barrage of demands, working 60+ hours every week for my clients plus the time I spend doing things for Mom, trying to keep up with the housework and laundry (which seems to be breeding and multiplying moment by moment - I swear, the laundry is like rabbits here), and then trying to get some sleep while "hearing" every move she makes all night long...the only way I get any deep - REALLY DEEP sleep - is to drug myself somehow, either with a sleep aid, nyquil or a strong rum n' coke. (And oh my gosh I must need one now, because I seriously typed that wrong and made myself burst out laughing. Mom's looking at me like I'm nuts. Exchange the "c" and the "r"...that's what I just typed. I think I shall call my drinks that from now on. LOL)

I did sneak out for a bit tonight to get groceries, and that must be what I needed - I feel a LOT better than I did earlier today. I think I just needed a break, however small it might be.
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Does not
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I may have said that incorrectly mom dies nit have a pacemaker the hospital installed an iPad and I take moms vitals every morning and the see them they said they were going to set the monitoring to only call me when moms heart rate is over 115. Crazy all the stuff there is now
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Yaaaay SusanA43
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i can tell you guys whats possibly keeping all of you ill . with the stress in your lives and sleeping with one ear open , your not reaching the deep freeze zone of sleeping and light sleep does not rejuvinate you at all . ive been ill with depression and tension ever since the colonoscopy . the dam VERSED they give you skews the gabba levels in the brain . i wiped out after only 3 hrs of work today from lack of energy . came home , got pissed and ate 2 zans and hit that deep sleep zone for only 3 hrs . i just woke up feeling like a newborn . maybe thats what kept me from breaking during the year of end of life care for mom . bout twice a week id hit the everclear and hit that deep freeze sleep zone . i could still be woken up but not at the drop of a pin like usual . the deep freeze is where the real organ cleaning and rejuvination happens . im not recommending booze or zans to knock people out , im just stating that you must hit one particular level of the sleep cycle or toxins build up in your body and you get weaker and sicker every day .
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I'm all for going to the pub twice tonight!
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awork, hehe, no, I don't want to turn into the bag lady dropping off stuff. It all just needs re-organized or boxed up. Clutter in the house makes my head feel cluttered. My brothers pretty much took what they wanted already. Before my dad passed, when they'd stop by to visit, they would come through the garage and as they left, they'd snatch things and slither out. Dad was too tired to get up and walk them out so he really never knew. Anyway, I have grand idea's in my head.... one day I might just let em out :)

Susan, those FB posts are the worst! It's like a code or something... one must always post happy cheerful fa la la thoughts and actions! I know this sounds awful of me, but I deleted and blocked all my family members aside from my son. I could care less what they're doing and the fun they're having... it was making me seethe inside and I'd rather not hate on them forever so *Poof* begone. I hope the grouchies subside for you Susan...it is perfectly normal and understandable tho and probably good for the soul :) of course, so would punching someone but... lesser of two evils eh?

An old work friend was having a "FB Make-up Party"... yep, a facebook virtual party is the only party I can attend these days... anywho, I ended up buying a few items knowing that I rarely wear make up anymore!! Good grief...

Hope you had a good time at the wedding Jess..hope the drive home wasn't too bad either and your momma didn't end up in the trunk and you blasting George Straight! haha, love that entire CD!!

CM, if we where to say "oh bugger this" and go to the pub and remind ourselves that tomorrow is another day, does this mean we get to go to the pub twice??
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Exactly, CM....tomorrow is another day...full of the same! That's what's depressing and hard to take sometimes. I could be Pollyanna and Annie all rolled up into one and sing, "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" and say, "Let's play the GLAD game!"...but I'm sorry, I just don't have it in me today. Most days I can pull myself out of the doldrums but those days are kind of running together lately. Like I said, I'm sure I'll be fine by tomorrow, but I need to do some serious housework or cooking to get myself out of this slump. It always makes me feel better to see the house clean and everything in order, and to try some new recipes or do some food prep to make the next week easier.
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