I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
anyone can only take so much crazy and we all know your wearing down . the last year of my moms life my head was pretty much toast too . i learned to be compassionate and patient enough but the everclear got to be a thrice weekly escape . moms chair always had a selection of pills lying on the floor around it . id eat em all . i dont give a shat . oxy , zan , toprol , haldol , stool softener , stool hardener , its all good ..
b*tches must cook that turkey in a desert wind tunnel is all i can figure . i know they mean well but so did hitler and mussolini ..
finally got some lemons to make a lemon pie but since limes were cheaper my lemon pie is going to be a lime pie . itll still be better than dehydrated turkey and slightly dampened stovetop stuffing .
Ours went pretty good. Oldest brother and his wife came by for several hours. SIL even helped me finish up my lasagne and salad. Even better, mom was still in pace mode, had been going on for 36 hours by then... not that I want them or anyone to witness but... I can't help but feel it's OK sibling/children of loved one get to witness and not always just the carer's. He did say their work has pretty much tapered off for the winter, JUST LET HIM KNOW. Ugh. Nicest point of the night was when they left (LOL, no not cuz they left) normally I'm the one that does all the hugging and they're the ones that him n haw about it. I have stopped that altogether months and months ago. When they left, he insisted on a hug. Wow, guess he really felt bad for me eh?
I've been tossing idea's around in my head for weeks now. Mom is getting too much for me to handle all the time. Actually, I am burnt out completely. She drives me batty with her constant pacing... it's the marching type pacing. The constant non stop questions. The damn stupid a** chair. Oh, her new non stop is "just kill me". Yep... if I don't instantly dote on her it's "Just kill me". So much so I don't even want to talk to her anymore. Not as if we have conversations anyway, it's just non stop repetition of questions. Earlier I asked to finish her dinner and I was a stupid mean b*tch because she'd eaten it all. (head thunk) if I want her to eat her entire dinner I have to sit beside her for an hour telling her to sit down and eat/feed her. You know what? It's not even the feeding part and the incontinence. It's the negative crap all the time now. Where is my sweet happy mother? Yeah yeah, I know. It's sucking the ever luvin life right out of me. I go to bed tired and waked up even more tired since I know what I'm in for... oh wow, I totally forgot what I was getting at.... something has to give here. I need more time to take care of me and this house which can't be done with her constantly pacing, won't sit still for a moment and talking death/kill me. I truly hate it. I hate how I have to completely shut my mind off to get a minute from her... one can only ignore it for so long. There are times when I feel she's intentionally pushing my buttons with all her might... she has this look that say's "I dare you"? and she just goes on and on... oh holy nightmare at times (more often than not now)
If I could go to bed right now I would be in it in a hot second. Can't. Got at least 2 more hours or more of pacing, questions and kill me. Oh... the TV, that is a nightmare with her also. Good grief even the d*mn commercials get her going.
One last thing. I too, detest the black flat top stove. My dad bought it before he passed so I could have a nice stove to cook on. Thank you daddy... but cleaning the top is HELL!
I'm thinking on trying the day care again or placing her in a memory care unit. She won't be as combative as my last attempt at day care since her mind has ... well, not the capacity it had before..
I understand panic attacks, especially when driving.... the only thing is vacuuming that helps me... but that would mean I would need to get out of my vehicle every few miles and vacuum. Guess, when and if I reach my destination, I would have a really clean vehicle :P
You can also click on *Hugs* to see all of your hugs :)
And you can also click on your screen name on your posting above. In fact, I can click on your screen name and see all the open messages to you, but I wouldn't be able to see the private messages written to you.
Seems like every other day someone is asking *can I get paid for caring for my parent*? My gosh, I wouldn't even think about asking the State to pay me, or asking my parents to pay me, because I am not an experienced or certified Caregiver..... I just figured no pay came with the territory. Therefore I was totally surprised that Medicaid will pay an untrained relative to care, depending on what State one resides, and that is great. What a relief to those who's parents weren't able to save for that very rainy day.
Dad isn't around stimulating conversations anymore as Mom can barely hear now and it takes a lot of effort finding certain words that she can hear to get a discussion going. If they would have moved to a retirement community to be amongst those of their generation, Dad would have hundreds of new people to talk to... but my parents refused to move.
Anyway, Dad has some *interesting* stories.... like he is convinced that the trash company has another person driving behind the truck that stops and brings the recycling bin back to his house. Ah, Dad, I have the same company service and no one brings up my bin [I live in the same subdivision].... it is someone who goes on their daily walk around the subdivision. It's odd my Dad would think that because he knows there are people who walk early in the morning who will bring up his newspaper to his door in the morning.
i have a glass top range too and i dont even try to clean the charred sob . the good thing tho is nothing can spill over into the stovetop . my little kitchen is coming right around to my way of thinking . theres an 8 foot long shelf above the stove and counter that holds gallon jars of everything from conf sugar to brn sugar , rice , oats , beans , coffee , corn starch , whole wheat flour , and a 2.5 gallon steel can for flour . as you can imagine this makes inventorying for grocery shopping a breeze . a 3 foot long shelf under it holds all the spices . knives , utensiles and pans hang underneath . pretty elaborate for what amounts to a 200 sq ft effeciency apartment . im gonna bust thru the wall one of these days and build a root cellar that you dont even have to go outdoors to access . the single bedroom home overhead should always rent for enough to allow me to live down here for free whether its rented to strangers or family . ive always had a knack for thinking decades in advance , now its paying off ..
Veronica, I completely agree with you on the glass-topped range. I bought one with the same idea - easier to keep clean, etc. Yeah, right. ONE boilover, spill or unnoticed splash that ends up on the burner, and you're done. You have a nice black stain on the glass top that will never come off. I've tried the special cleaner they tell you to use, gentle scrubbing with soft scrub cleanser, leaving a hot, vinegar-soaked dishcloth on it overnight, even oven cleaner. Nothing works.
Ah, a woman after my own heart. When the wife was in her right mind it would drive her nuts how I would bring things home all the time. Of course I now have vacuums, radios and other stuff for my garage that I didn't have to pay for but she was always afraid that we would be looked down on.
Veronica, white appliances are slowly making a come back, along with the butcher block counters :) Once again history will be repeating itself when it comes to décor.