Follow
Share
Read More
FF, not trained to care for parents? I have much more training than a CNA that usually provides respite care. The CNA's are paid $12.00 an hour in my area, the agency tacks on another $10.00 to that. CNA training is five weeks, usually. In a nursing home setting. My experience is nearly 60 years of being my mother's daughter, knowing what she is thinking, and knowing answers to her questions to say nothing of the one on one care that nobody else in this world could or would provide. You would never be able to find anybody with the experience that a family member has. And it is usually one child that provides the majority of the care, while the others continue to live their lives. Family caregivers are permitted payment partially because even they understand the benefit. And Medicaid would never throw a family caregiver out of the elder's home to pay nursing home recovery if that child provided care that kept them in their homes longer, so out of the Medicaid eligibility. They do not want caregivers without a place to go becoming an additional burden on the system.
(2)
Report

jeanette,
anyone can only take so much crazy and we all know your wearing down . the last year of my moms life my head was pretty much toast too . i learned to be compassionate and patient enough but the everclear got to be a thrice weekly escape . moms chair always had a selection of pills lying on the floor around it . id eat em all . i dont give a shat . oxy , zan , toprol , haldol , stool softener , stool hardener , its all good ..
(1)
Report

Got to jump in here - love my glass cook top. You wipe it with a damp cloth or sponge, smear on the glass cooktop cleaner and let it dry on the glass then wipe again, best with magic eraser or similar, rubbing harder on the black marks. If anything is still there, I use an old metal egg flip I keep for that purpose and scrape the black off. I often leave the cleaner on over night and do the rest on the morning while my coffee is getting ready. You can use a second application of cleaner etc. too, if the marks are stubborn. To make it sparkle, then spray with Windex, and wipe with paper towel. I do it at least every few days with a wiping in between. My stove is over 5 years old and very well used and the top is clean. Gotta love it compared to burner liners and getting in underneath burners to clean out grease and grime, and skinning your knuckles.
(1)
Report

i fall for this every d*mn year . some gal or another will decide the single guy needs some of their thanksgiving leftovers . they give me a big old plate of criminally abused foodstuff and a whiny request to be sure and return the ( disposable ) tupperware dish ( s ) . to quote deep purple ; " into the FI - RRE !! "
b*tches must cook that turkey in a desert wind tunnel is all i can figure . i know they mean well but so did hitler and mussolini ..
finally got some lemons to make a lemon pie but since limes were cheaper my lemon pie is going to be a lime pie . itll still be better than dehydrated turkey and slightly dampened stovetop stuffing .
(1)
Report

Hey all, I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!

Ours went pretty good. Oldest brother and his wife came by for several hours. SIL even helped me finish up my lasagne and salad. Even better, mom was still in pace mode, had been going on for 36 hours by then... not that I want them or anyone to witness but... I can't help but feel it's OK sibling/children of loved one get to witness and not always just the carer's. He did say their work has pretty much tapered off for the winter, JUST LET HIM KNOW. Ugh. Nicest point of the night was when they left (LOL, no not cuz they left) normally I'm the one that does all the hugging and they're the ones that him n haw about it. I have stopped that altogether months and months ago. When they left, he insisted on a hug. Wow, guess he really felt bad for me eh?

I've been tossing idea's around in my head for weeks now. Mom is getting too much for me to handle all the time. Actually, I am burnt out completely. She drives me batty with her constant pacing... it's the marching type pacing. The constant non stop questions. The damn stupid a** chair. Oh, her new non stop is "just kill me". Yep... if I don't instantly dote on her it's "Just kill me". So much so I don't even want to talk to her anymore. Not as if we have conversations anyway, it's just non stop repetition of questions. Earlier I asked to finish her dinner and I was a stupid mean b*tch because she'd eaten it all. (head thunk) if I want her to eat her entire dinner I have to sit beside her for an hour telling her to sit down and eat/feed her. You know what? It's not even the feeding part and the incontinence. It's the negative crap all the time now. Where is my sweet happy mother? Yeah yeah, I know. It's sucking the ever luvin life right out of me. I go to bed tired and waked up even more tired since I know what I'm in for... oh wow, I totally forgot what I was getting at.... something has to give here. I need more time to take care of me and this house which can't be done with her constantly pacing, won't sit still for a moment and talking death/kill me. I truly hate it. I hate how I have to completely shut my mind off to get a minute from her... one can only ignore it for so long. There are times when I feel she's intentionally pushing my buttons with all her might... she has this look that say's "I dare you"? and she just goes on and on... oh holy nightmare at times (more often than not now)

If I could go to bed right now I would be in it in a hot second. Can't. Got at least 2 more hours or more of pacing, questions and kill me. Oh... the TV, that is a nightmare with her also. Good grief even the d*mn commercials get her going.

One last thing. I too, detest the black flat top stove. My dad bought it before he passed so I could have a nice stove to cook on. Thank you daddy... but cleaning the top is HELL!

I'm thinking on trying the day care again or placing her in a memory care unit. She won't be as combative as my last attempt at day care since her mind has ... well, not the capacity it had before..
(1)
Report

I hate, hate, hate our glass cooktop. A nightmare.
(0)
Report

Hey, 1butterfly, what is going on? Talk to us. I see from your profile you have an aunt and uncle you care for in Tennessee, and both have Alzheimer's/dementia. Wow, that's a hand full.

I understand panic attacks, especially when driving.... the only thing is vacuuming that helps me... but that would mean I would need to get out of my vehicle every few miles and vacuum. Guess, when and if I reach my destination, I would have a really clean vehicle :P
(1)
Report

Pamz, here's another... go back up to My Account, click on MORE... click on ACTIVITY... go to VIEW now click on *Message Board*.... now you will see all the messages you ever written to other people on this forum :)

You can also click on *Hugs* to see all of your hugs :)
(1)
Report

Thanks from me , too ff. I had messages I did not know about. I should be back in TN right now but got here in GA Wednesday and having anxiety, panic attacks & bad depression. I don't feel like I can drive back. My sick truck is there, all my belongings in storage unit...but the thought of going back there is making me sick. I cannot seem to pull myself up & do what needs to be done
(1)
Report

Wow, thank you FF.. I just did that,, found some messages and one from you! Learn something new every day! :)
(0)
Report

Pamz, to find the personal messages.... go to your Account over on the right side of the page.... now click on NEWS FEED..... you will see a page of current message, now just above it on the right you will see VIEW with a drop down menu.... click on MESSAGE BOARD.... you will see message to you that are private and also open messages.

And you can also click on your screen name on your posting above. In fact, I can click on your screen name and see all the open messages to you, but I wouldn't be able to see the private messages written to you.
(1)
Report

as to the posters who re ask the same questions that have already been asked.. I think they are new or the problem has just popped up, and they just need an answer. They don't mean to annoy..they are in need and confused and frightened. I know I was! Or they are new here and don;t know how to work the site ( I still can't find personal messages , etc and I have been here a year and a half..LOL) Today I was looking for info on my Dads new "wandering around at night" habit.. And sometimes the infor seems "old" and you are looking for new info. So I try to answer if I can help... I remember being new and scared to death.. now its just one day at a time...
(1)
Report

I really believe some of the brand new posters don't realize that under the blue bar at the top of the page has drop down menus with a boatload of great information.

Seems like every other day someone is asking *can I get paid for caring for my parent*? My gosh, I wouldn't even think about asking the State to pay me, or asking my parents to pay me, because I am not an experienced or certified Caregiver..... I just figured no pay came with the territory. Therefore I was totally surprised that Medicaid will pay an untrained relative to care, depending on what State one resides, and that is great. What a relief to those who's parents weren't able to save for that very rainy day.
(0)
Report

I'd prefer that posters do their research on a particular problem before posting it. I've seen the same question asked over and over almost on a weekly basis. And if they respond to an old thread, then they bring it up to date for those who never read it. I've had some questions but never needed to post it because I searched and found some among the older threads. I do compliment the patient posters who do respond to the repeated questions of new posters.
(1)
Report

Countrymouse, same here.... it's like watching a movie but the ending was left out. I always wondered what was the final result from that original posting, and if any of the suggestions were helpful or not.
(0)
Report

Sometimes the topics are perennial. I suppose people are searching for subjects and pick the one that seems the closest match. The only thing I do find frustrating about it, though, is wondering what happened..?
(0)
Report

I noticed that too, FF - I see what looks like a new and interesting topic to read, and it turns out it's from 2012 and has 157 responses already, and the OP is no longer on here at all, so what's the point of someone dredging it up and replying to it, as though they're talking to the OP? I know people don't read when they post, but sheesh....
(1)
Report

This isn't a whine, but today [Sunday] I noticed a whole lot of very old original postings popping up from 3 to 4 years ago. Curious, how do people dig back that far to find these postings and why?
(0)
Report

I need to remind myself that when I talk on the telephone to Dad, or in person, not to argue with what he is saying, either agree or to change the subject.

Dad isn't around stimulating conversations anymore as Mom can barely hear now and it takes a lot of effort finding certain words that she can hear to get a discussion going. If they would have moved to a retirement community to be amongst those of their generation, Dad would have hundreds of new people to talk to... but my parents refused to move.

Anyway, Dad has some *interesting* stories.... like he is convinced that the trash company has another person driving behind the truck that stops and brings the recycling bin back to his house. Ah, Dad, I have the same company service and no one brings up my bin [I live in the same subdivision].... it is someone who goes on their daily walk around the subdivision. It's odd my Dad would think that because he knows there are people who walk early in the morning who will bring up his newspaper to his door in the morning.
(1)
Report

crazy . ive had two colonoscopies and one endoscopy over the last 5 years and the K - O meds always cause me a few weeks of depression . i went to bed 3 hours ago wondering what part of life was rewarding enough to even make it worth living , then woke up just now feeling unstoppable and downright exited about the future . if theres a lesson here it must be that depression is almost always a temporary situation even tho it seems so bleak and permanent at the time .
i have a glass top range too and i dont even try to clean the charred sob . the good thing tho is nothing can spill over into the stovetop . my little kitchen is coming right around to my way of thinking . theres an 8 foot long shelf above the stove and counter that holds gallon jars of everything from conf sugar to brn sugar , rice , oats , beans , coffee , corn starch , whole wheat flour , and a 2.5 gallon steel can for flour . as you can imagine this makes inventorying for grocery shopping a breeze . a 3 foot long shelf under it holds all the spices . knives , utensiles and pans hang underneath . pretty elaborate for what amounts to a 200 sq ft effeciency apartment . im gonna bust thru the wall one of these days and build a root cellar that you dont even have to go outdoors to access . the single bedroom home overhead should always rent for enough to allow me to live down here for free whether its rented to strangers or family . ive always had a knack for thinking decades in advance , now its paying off ..
(2)
Report

Darn it, hit "post" too soon.

Veronica, I completely agree with you on the glass-topped range. I bought one with the same idea - easier to keep clean, etc. Yeah, right. ONE boilover, spill or unnoticed splash that ends up on the burner, and you're done. You have a nice black stain on the glass top that will never come off. I've tried the special cleaner they tell you to use, gentle scrubbing with soft scrub cleanser, leaving a hot, vinegar-soaked dishcloth on it overnight, even oven cleaner. Nothing works.
(0)
Report

Pam, we have a PINK gas stove in the basement of Mom's house. It's gorgeous! I don't know if it still works or not, though. Mom used to use it for canning decades ago, when she could still go up and down the basement steps, but it hasn't been hooked up in ages. Mom said it came with the house - it's so big, I have no idea how they even got it down the stairs into the basement. I'm wondering if the basement was built around it!
(1)
Report

pamstegman, hey if a woman is going to spend most of her hours in a kitchen, it better be to her liking :) I bet the pink stove was awesome!!
(2)
Report

VERONICA91
Ah, a woman after my own heart. When the wife was in her right mind it would drive her nuts how I would bring things home all the time. Of course I now have vacuums, radios and other stuff for my garage that I didn't have to pay for but she was always afraid that we would be looked down on.
(0)
Report

Hope you did not inherit that house Pam. I brought a nice glass topped stove for my last house because it would be "easier to clean" boy was I wrong!
(1)
Report

My mother got a PINK electric stove in 1960 and the upper oven had a rotisserie. When she said she wanted PINK, my father flipped his lid. HAHAHAA she won, and got PINK cupboards too. PINK in the flooring. PINK in the wallpaper.
(0)
Report

Frequent flyer.- I prefer white appliances since my home is small, white just opens up the space making it brighter. We have a free standing gas range/ oven and I love using gas. My dream is a 6 burner as I love to cook, space is limited so dual ovens are not possible. Maybe some day, a girl can dream!!!
(1)
Report

sharynmarie, that crystal chandler will look great in your office !! I also like the shabby chic look, but most of house is decorated in early attic :P

Veronica, white appliances are slowly making a come back, along with the butcher block counters :) Once again history will be repeating itself when it comes to décor.
(1)
Report

My moms kitchen was in harvest gold LOL!! We did not upgrade her house when we sold it. Veronica you sound like me.... My hubs says what do you want with that junk!! My sis brought me her crystal chandler I want to hang it in my office as I love the shabby chic look. It is old and will have an electrician check it out and install but my hubs just shakes his head, hash!!
(0)
Report

Speaking of free standing ovens, a couple years ago I replaced a 25 year old white oven with a brand new black oven.... never again... on my gosh, when the sun shines on that oven the black shows all the dust stuck to various grease spots that one misses while trying to clean the darn thing.... never had that issue with the white stove. My next go around with new appliances, I will be going back to white. Remember the harvest gold, and that green from the 1970's?
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter