My "whine moment today." What's yours?

My whine moment today is that along with the daily frustrations of caring for 2 AZ/dementia people, I learned the used truck I bought 3 months ago needs a transmission & rear end. No way I can afford it. At 57 years of age which have been nothing but a constant struggle I just want to give up right now. I am so very tired of life.

freq , the hors were cracked out of their heads . lol
my aunt got her replacement hearing aid this evening and she comprehends every word said . awesome .
holiday ?
im baking some brotchen rolls right now and hoping they last thru the week . really , you could smear cat crap on these rolls and theyre still a treat . i love em with nothing but butter on em ..
i dont want turkey , i want some d*mn bread rolls .

FF--- they probably got pepper sprayed fighting over a good Turnip.

I have a fire/emergency scanner, and within a half hour there were two calls to two different grocery stores in our area for what was called a *sinkable episode* [pasting out], and both calls were for women in their late 40's and in their 50's.

I'm thinking the stress of trying too do too much for the holidays? Sandwich generation? Make that 3 calls, another one just came in.... [sigh]

Awh bummer Susan! Glad to see you're taking it in stride though, not much good comes of getting upset tho does it? I do hope whatever medical issue's they are having all turn out fine.

Hmmm, the crock pot breast o' turkey sounds scrumptious. It will make a nice soup for the following days :) Soup is the best part of winter.

So, I was thinking of eggplant lasagne. I have one jar of homemade sauce left and I've never made it or had eggplant lasagne before. A new tradition perhaps? Plus one of those yummy salads like The Olive Garden makes. I love those tart olives n banana peppers... now you have me thinking of adding a crock pot turkey breast as a "side".

It's been months since I've seen my 2nd oldest brother and the brief visit the eldest paid a month or more ago doesn't hardly construe a visit, so I highly doubt any of them grace their mother with a visit. Fine by me. She never mentions them anymore anyway so not as if she'll miss them right?

JeanetteB, the already cooked turkey and the heat/serve side items were a success.... the grocery store has a different vendor for the stuffing and for the cranberry relish, much better than last time :) My parents went home with half of the left overs.

My parents came mid-afternoon and dozed off watching football, so did sig other. And instant replay of the dozing after dinner. I am not into football so I just sat and stared at the TV. Mom is almost deaf so the conversation is very limited.

Our 3 teen-aged cats made an unusually long appearance so my parents got to see them. Normally it is a quick how-to-you-do and they leave the room. The cats get panicky when they hear Mom and Dad move about the house using their canes.

Hope everyone here has a nice Thanksgiving :)

Same here, Jeanette - one sibling is coming for dinner (hopefully) which will make Mom happy. Since there will be just 3 of us, I'm doing a turkey breast in the crock pot (which turns out fantastically moist). Not sure on the side dishes at this point, I'm sure there will be some very *NOT* low-carb dishes involved, just for that one day. I have tons of recipes for low-carb stuff, just no time to cook it this week. All three of my new clients are clamoring for work to be done and I'm swamped.

My trip to see my son is being delayed due to a medical issue that came up with one of his siblings down there, so I won't be going to see him for a while. It's ok, though - the medical issue that came up was far more important than my trip and needed their full attention, and my son is old enough to help with his other younger sibling while his dad and stepmom focus on the other one.

ff, how was your dinner?

I still haven't decided what we are having on Thursday..... no clue. Not really in the mood for a big ol' heavy dinner, besides, mom doesn't eat meat all that well.

got rained out after 4 hours of work today . i dont care but the short hours are hard on my helper girl .
found my aunt a hell bettwer cushion at the goodwill tho for only 3 bucks . i tied that sob towards the front of her wheelchair with my usual orange mason line so it doesnt scoot rearward when she sits down . she seems very pleased with it . when i can make edna more comfortable its a good day regardless of how crappy other aspects may be .
bought a great big " bone in " ham for 1 . 39 a lb . man i can make 90 meals with that big sucker . enough bone for a couple big pots of beans too .
foreman still hasnt killed me a deer yet . the jars are ready and heather wants to help me butcher and can for a share of the venison .
the bunker is getting nice compared to only a year ago . doll of a little kitchen ..

Just a plain pillow. There's a lot of wisdom to that dream. Remember that no matter how nice a billionaire acts, he's only after your pillow.

hahahahahaha!!! Of all things to steal Jess!! Exactly what kind of pillow do you have? Or, have you sewn a billion dollars in it? :D
How and WHY in the world do we have these type of dreams? - Yes, I've been dreaming about the ex as well as the ex boyfriend as well.... sigh, and they are just weird!! The scariest part was the "I was thinking about you"... oh, and the "I meant to call you on my birthday".... no, not my birthday, it is OUR birthday.... and why does it even bring any emotion to me. I feel like a drank 5 cups of cuban coffee :/

bahahaaaa Jessie!! That must have been one really nice pillow for Bill Gates to want it....

Okay, since we're talking about dreams -- Last night in my dream Bill Gates came to visit. Nothing tawdry. He was super nice, but he stole my pillow. What kind of billionaire does that to a poor caregiver. :'(

You know what's funny, Jeanette? I had one of those vivid dreams about my ex one night - where he called me up and did what yours did - said he was thinking about me and why didn't we get together for coffee. Against my better judgement, I did it, and in that dream, we got back together. Now *THAT* was a nightmare. Woke up with a major case of the heebeejeebies from that one.

LOL!! I did run clear across the United States.

I'm scared to leave the house today.... something weird is lurking out there...

Oh good Lord Jeanette..RUN.

I know I would if my ex did that....either one of them.

Ok. I wanna know who the hell sprinkled the Earth with crazy last night? WHO DID IT?

Why you ask? Well, on my phone this morning was a voice message, yup, not a text message from my ex husband. I think it's been close to 7 years now... he left me a Happy Belated Birthday message saying he's been thinking about me. WHAT? WHAT? Oh my gawd.... he hasn't did that in those 7 years... we do share the same birth date (he's one year younger than I ) but.... but.... whaaa?

FF save the turkey and carve up the relatives....

Today we are doing *Thanksgiving* dinner at my house. My parents will be here shortly.

I can't wait for the day to be over because I am no Martha Stewart... thus days like this are very stressful for me. My sig other doesn't do much because his generation the men sat and watched TV while the women folk were all in the kitchen cooking, plus all the cleaning the house before the company would come.

The grocery store cooked the turkey for me, but it is still stressful trying to get all the fixings [all heat and serve] and rolls all heated up at the same time. I tend to get frizzled. I rather be at the office :P

It's just me, my sig other, and my parents. No Aunts to help out, no siblings to help out [only child], nor do I have any children. It would be so nice if someone else was bringing some home made side dishes. My Mom use to do sweet potatoes with marshmallows but at 97, she can't do it any more.

Wish I could go back in time when I was a kid to my mother's parents home for Thanksgiving in Connecticut, and my Mom's 4 sisters and 1 brother, and their spouses and my cousins, all out on the farm. The house was haunted, so that was extra fun :)

Hope, thoughts and prayers with you and hugs too. Do not tolerate disrespectful behavior from any one in your home.Mama is still a graceful and strong lady it is only the packaging that has become worn and that only adds to her value. think of her as a valuable antique and treasure her as you have always done.

OMG OMG OMG...TOTALLY agree re the posting of things on social media on an elderly person who can no longer speak for or defend themselves and whom, you KNOW, would be so upset if something like that were posted...Also, when folks come in our home and Mama has no idea who they are and they poke at her, laugh at her, think it's funny when she says an ugly word (Mama never used foul language...always a very gracious lady) and so sadly now, will occasionally the "s" word fly...but folks think it is funny...Before Mama got so bad, when she was still talking and felt good. I will say I had a few pictures of her with us where she looked absolutely glamorous and I posted them...now that she is so sick and frail and no longer recognizes folks I rarely get on social media...this is a very private time and I do not feel it is appropriate or even have a desire to "share" such a personal and painful journey with people who truly don't even know us....I have had a few folks send me private messages wanting to "chat" or getting upset because I never get on there and cut up like a fool these days. I am so fed up with all of it I don't even respond to them anymore and when it becomes harassing I just delete and block them. Idiots...all of them ...idiots...you would think grown ups would have enough sense to understand that when you are in the throes of losing someone so dear in your family no questions would even be necessary....idiots...I agree Jeanette...it would be hard to keep from clocking someone like that.....

It is raining here ...again...Mama is still running her fever..it is low grade but they cannot determine where it is coming from and we hospice has been excellent with keeping us informed with everything going on...I won't get to see brother today . He texted me and said he is coming down with something and so does not want to risk spreading it...and I am thankful for that...He at least has some common sense. I had a couple of relatives who came by about three days before Mama started running a fever...AFTER they had been here for two hours I learned they had been getting over a bug..what the he** is wrong with people??? i am now going to put a very prominent sign on our door stating "IF YOU ARE OR HAVE BEEN SICK, PLEASE DO NOT ENTER. CARING FOR SOMEONE WHOSE IMMUNE SYSTEM IS SEVERELY COMPROMISED".......

I had a dear friend once whose husband was in the process of chemo and he was very very sick. I wanted to visit him, but my friend told me she appreciated my wanting to come but he could not have even the slightest risk of contracting something and she was having to keep folks from visiting but she would tell him we were thinking of him. I agreed and was not offended in the least. Once i knew he was in that condition I had better sense than to go anyway, but it was not offensive for her to inform me. Why do people get so offended for standing up for folks you love.....

I am very worried about Mama, but over the last few days after a lot of prayerful would searching it finally came to me that while I am NOT saying I want to lose her, but I know how blessed our family is that we have had Mama with us for such a long and blessed life. So instead of falling apart like I did last week, I want to find that inner peace and strength that I always saw in my Mama and be here for her like the young lady she raised me to be. Mama has always been such a graceful and strong lady...that is who she would want me to be....so I am trying....and I am blessed and thankful..

Anytime I see, hear, or read of someone being unkind to an elderly for whatever reason, like the elderly person is walking or driving too slow, I want to say to that mean person "is your calendar going in reverse?"

Getting enjoyment out of watching an elderly person be intentionally confused and befuddled by someone pushing a camera in their face and demanding they recognize family members when they can't is NOT cute or sweet or lovely. Those people need to put themselves in the elderly person's shoes.

Go ahead and lay your ears back, Jeanette - I think we're all right there with you.

I'm playing the Sunday-Morning-Shower-Game here today. Older sibling is in town for a few days and is meeting us for breakfast in 1.5 hours - but Mom has yet to get in the shower, and I haven't gotten mine yet either, because Mom's been in the bathroom for 25 minutes now, just sitting on the toilet. I've heard 3 flushes so far, but I'm pretty sure it's not because she was flushing anything down...she just forgets whether she's flushed or not, so she does it again.

Ah! THERE'S the shower water turning on! Well, mark that as a victory for today. I was half-expecting her to come out of the bathroom and say she wasn't going to breakfast today.

Exactly!!

I "Liked" her daughter's post about taking it off on FB. She sent me a message thanking me for being the only one who agreed. She said it hurt her tremendously to see her grandmother displayed publicly and if her grandmother could realize what happened, she would be offended and upset. Oh Lord... I know, mind my own business but damn... common sense anyone? It took every ounce of restraint to keep my fingers closed... if one more person would have said how "lovely and sweet" that video was ... grrr, just what is so lovely and sweet seeing an 80 year old woman no longer recognize anyone in her family?

Idiots, that's who thinks it is so damn sweet.

I have zero tolerance to those attention/sympathy seekers.... show some respect to your mother!

Okay... off my rant now. (ears are totally laid back)!!!!

Tex....we're right there with you. Vent away.

FF...we're happy to be your adopted siblings! I think all of us need someone to talk to and this site sure helps.

Jeanette - that video should NEVER have been posted. Oh my gosh. I feel so badly for that poor woman, with someone sticking a video camera in her face and interrogating her, having no idea how to answer the questions and wondering why she's being taped. Thank goodness her daughter had the guts to say something.

Some people have no filter between their mind and their keyboard and post ANYTHING on social media. They understand that everyone can see it, they just don't care, or they hope it will bring them attention and/or sympathy. I have a friend from my high school days that does this *all the time*, and it drives the rest of us nuts. She changes her relationship status like most of us change socks, posts her gripes and complaints about her newest man publicly on Facebook, has *very* public fights with him on there, etc. My stance on that is: if you wouldn't invite all 300+ friends from your Facebook friends list into your home to witness your private family fights, DON'T POST THEM ON FACEBOOK.

Texarkana, I will come running down the road screaming with you. Yes, what seems small can become so very BIG in a manner of days.

It's like when my Dad fell in the driveway and hit his head. A neighbor and some workmen carried Dad inside the house. Instead of Mom calling 911, she thought an ice pack and a good lunch would be the cure all. It was hours later that Mom called to say what happened to Dad. So I rushed over to their house, I wanted to take Dad to an urgent care down the street as that goose egg on Dad's head didn't look real good, but Dad was too wobbly to stand. So I called 911. The EMT's were great, Dad went to the ER. Better safe than sorry.

Oh how I wished I had a sibling to bounce this off of.... glad this website is here, I have a lot of *adopted* siblings here... and if I don't like what they say, DELETE :P

The woman's youngest daughter ( 21 ) is one smart young lady!

She just posted this to her mother/video

I appreciate the video but this shouldn't have been publicly posted.. & I already texted you this should have been sent among us not on Facebook. Take it down please

Okay, where to start, first I apologize to those I know have it worse than me so this is just me venting;whining.Well the day started okay, I have found some art activities for mom and she has signed up for art classes at this ladies house which she is looking forward to,I was so thrilled about this because I am going to start riding my horse more and maybe start competing again all of which I told my mother,was afraid to because knowing her she will start to have "problems" everytime I try to ride.So I though with the art classes, once a week, PT twice a week , church,getting her hair done once a week with her energy level this should keep her stimulated and busy.What a fool I am.I picked her up from the hair salon today and as she was getting in the car(this is long) I noticed what looked like dirt on the side of her right leg, so I asked her what is that smudge on your leg, I could tell immedieately something was up just be her facial expression, like she had been caught, I looked closer and saw that it was dry betadien, I am a nurse, so I asked her in the car what was dry betadine doing on her leg(I had given her a very good shower the day before and saw nothing unusual.I get no answer at first, then she said well I put some on my toes because they hurt, I said you know betadine doesn't help arthritis, also that your toes always hurt because of arthritis( she is on 200mg morphine a day for osteoarthritis).Well long story short she finally admits she put betadine between her right little toe and the toe next to it becaue it hurt inbetween,I though oh god she has another infection,her toes on both feet are mangled and June of this year she had a bunionectomy on the right foot becaue of constant infections.So we get to the house and she wants to go to her art studio, I said no we are going to your bedroom so I can look at your foot, she is not happy, get to her room and get her sock off, she had soaked some gauze in betadine and had it between her toes, I took it out and thought well here we go again, asked her when she did this,because the day before we I bathed her the gauze wasn't there and she made no complaints about her toes.She finally admitted it had been hurting there for the last 3 to 4 days,I thought the top of my head was going to come off,she doesn't have dementia. Yesterday I took her to PT, she says nothing, we were already in the car not far from a doc in the box and could have gone there but she says nothing.Even to day she said nothing until I confronted her, took her to MD , placed on antibiotics until I can call her podiatrist Monday, he did her foot surgery and told her she might need more on the right foot,also went ahead and had a urine done for uti,it was clear, and a cbc which showed no active infection, the md there said he didn't think it was infected but it was reddened with what I though looked like an abscess/blister in appearance ,I know her foot history better than him and told him just get us thru the weekend because I will be calling her podiatrist Monday. I told her the reason I was angry was not because I had to take her to the MD but because I had to find out by accident she was having a problem, she obviously knew something was wrong and was treating it herself and not telling me despite numerous opportunities to tell me.Thank god this guy was open on a Sat. because otherwise we would have been sitting in the local ER. I have told her numerous times tell me when something first starts not 3 days later.She started whining that well she thought it was a horse day, meaning I would be riding, I told her it didn't matter if that was the day symptoms started, I understood things happen but to wait for days and even then I find out just because I am very observant,If I hadn't noticed that smudge on her leg I wouldn't have found out about her toes.And no I don't go through her toes every time I bath her, I ask her if their is a problem and trust her to tell me, again she does NOT have dementia, NPD yes.This is so frustrating,you can't believe how frustrating. All day Friday, I take her to PT, get her home get her bathed even bathed her 2 dogs, then did an 80mile round trip to get her Morphine prescription,right I do nothing for her.With dementia I could understand,but she doesn't, her hair appointment was more of a priority.I told her I believed that she was either going to wait to say something on a day I was going riding or it was because she didn't want me calling the podiatrist because he would want to do surgery. Her foot surgery actually went well and no more infections at that site.I even sat down with her last week with my calendar and hers and got our activities coordinated and I thought that would make her feel more involved and show that her having activities was important to me, but again I forgot I am dealing with a NPD.I knew she was going to start some sh*t when I told her I was going to start riding again.Well I am calling her podiatrist Monday and she is going for an evaluation because I am not going thru the multiple foot infection episodes again and if he says she needs surgery if I have to declare her incompetent I will because I explained to her if an infection gets away from us it could kill her and it would be worse than losing a toe.I could just run down the road screaming.

freqflyer, I love your idea of a caregiver reality show or something to that effect. I was thinking it might wake up some of the family "slackers" but after reflecting on it I concluded they probably would not watch a program like that.

The only time I videoed my mom was with her persmission,she doesn't have dementia, I videoed her room and my friend was there that day and showed her cleaning mom's room and what the room looked like,also pictured my room and the house, and mom's art room in the basement and the only person I ever showed it to was my therapist because I needed reassurance that I wasn't keeping my mom in a prison, after viewing mom's living conditions and environment my therapist jokingly asked if she could live with me but I would never put pictures or video of her on public display especially if she had any kind of dementia and I don't even like my mother.