My "whine moment today." What's yours?

There are times I wish there was a reality show or TV drama showing a half dozen families who are Caregivers and what they all go through. If viewers can watch The Housewives, maybe they would watch a Caregivers series.

Bet it would be quite an eye opener to those who never have faced the trials and tribulations of caring for an elder. Instead of using an actual elder, have actors portray. I know I knew zero about elder care, I know it sounds silly but I never pictured my parents becoming so elderly :(

Jeanette I think it was cruel and unnecesary

I meant more of posting such a personal video of ones mother whom suffers with AD. Posting pics and other types of video's really doesn't bother me. I post a lot of pics and video's but they're mostly of my dogs, river's waterfalls, fall leaves and other scenery here in the PNW. Wait, I've posted lovely picture's of my mother while she was outside enjoying the weather and flowers. Never a gut wrenching sad personal one like that was. Not judging anyone, just thought it a bit too personal...

Veronica, glad I am not alone not being a member of Face Book. People look at me like my hair is on fire if I tell them, nope.

Facebook sounds like *Dear Diary* [no offense to those who do Facebook].... gosh, I remember way back when diaries were under lock and key, heaven help those who found the key and read the pages :P

FF I also agree. I never joined facebook either

JeanetteB, I agree with you 100% about posting something like that on Face Book.

My sig other has been after his grown daughter to stop posting photos of her grade school girls on Face Book... you never know who would copy those photos to use elsewhere on a website that is inappropriate. For myself, I never created a Face Book account.

Susan, I knew it! LOL It's more stressful preparing for a trip than anything ... so much to do, so many T's to cross. I'm impressed I even remember what it's like to prepare for a trip. Oh well, reading your to-do list tuckered me out as it is! I;m very excited for you. Have a wonderful time!

CM, they did indeed wail ! It was supposed to be pretty accurate pain wise, if anything it would have been less, not greater. Just priceless!!

OK. I just watched something I thought was disturbing posted on FB.

A long time friend of my sons mother posted a 5 minute video of her mother whom she is visiting in NY. Her mother has been battling AD for 10 years now. Either I never knew this or I forgot... anyway, I was disturbed watching it. Of course her mother had no idea who her daughter was or her name, she didn't know the grandchildren or great grandbabies. For 5 minutes I watched her ask her questions and saw the poor dear squirming but keeping a smile on her face. The show timing was so evident (to me) that I just wanted to grab her and whisk her out of there and the interrogation that was going nowhere. I do realize she made the video for her children and grandkids but please, why post it on FB? Maybe it's just me but I would never post a video of my mother like that.

I don't know how realistic that simulation could have been, but I couldn't bear to watch. I can't stand hearing grown men wail.

Well, Mom is back to normal today - can't explain what happened yesterday, but...I guess I'll chalk it up to just one of her "low" days. I got up this morning and she was actually up and dressed! First time for that in probably about a month (her dressing without me telling her to, that is). When I commented that she was up and dressed already she looked at me like I had 2 heads and said, "Well, YES!" kind of sarcastically. LOL Ah well...she's doing better today, so I'll take it.

Think I figured out my stress issue yesterday. Jeanette, I think you were the one that said it was related to my upcoming trip - I think you were right. It hit me this morning that I am leaving in EIGHT DAYS. OMG. I have an incredible amount of stuff to get done in that short time. I have to get lists ready for the neighbor and sibling that will be checking in on Mom, make a list of TV channels and phone numbers for Mom to keep beside her, make sure Mom's meals are all prepped and in the freezer (to be put in the fridge the day I leave so she can just pull them out and nuke them), make sure her clothes are all ready, bedding is all washed and fresh when I leave, house is clean, van is packed, got all the Christmas gifts for my son wrapped and ready, food purchased and packed (staying in a cabin), dog stuff all packed - he's going with me, and THEN, since I'm hosting the family Christmas party the day after I get back, I have to make sure all that stuff is ready before I leave so I don't have to rush when I get back. And I'm sure I'm missing something here...oh yeah, the van needs a once-over and an oil change.

On top of that, I have my regular workload for my clients and a new project I picked up to earn extra money for the trip. Yikes.

I'm tired just thinking about it. LOL No wonder I was stressed yesterday. Subconsciously, I was freaking out over the stuff I have to do this week.

Jeanette, I SAW that video...I recommend anyone who wants a good laugh go and watch it - it's great!!!

Ha! Did anyone see the video on youtube of 2 guys going through simulated child birth. Woosies ;)

I would like to see men go through pregnancy... they wouldn't make it through the first week of morning sickness :P

yea men might do a little sympathy hor ' in sometimes . ive personally stood and laid stone on one particular hepc treatment until i would abort after about 4 hours because i was tripping over my own feet or the uneven ground . the va didnt really like my teen son being my primary support system so i went out of my way to not even sigh audibly . women fuss about child birth but id like to see one of em zip their d*ck up in their zipper , shed scream like a tornado siren ..

Mom can't do sleep tests - she never sleeps deep enough or long enough for the test to be completed. (She's tried in the past.) She seems well enough this evening, just wants to sleep a lot, but she's up now and seems alert and oriented enough - like she normally is. Not sure what the heck all that was this morning with the shower, though. Weird.

Veronica, ah the old Mars vs Venus when it comes to injuries/illnesses and complaining. Most of us gals will run screaming into the night if we see a scary insect, but won't say boo when something hurts. On the other hand, a guy stubs his toe on the coffee table, you feel you need to bring out the wheelchair :P

And if we did complain something hurt, oh well, we would sound like we were nagging.... [sigh].

i think they gave me versed and propofal jeanette . versed is one of the benzo 's and screws with the hypnosis part of the brain . i think propofal is what made mike jackson moonwalk -- in hell .. either way this crap causes me a few weeks of depression every time .
veronica ,
hope you get your arm fixed but in the meantime couldnt you bend a 90 degree angle in your fork ? just kiddin . i have a junk elbow too . somebody took a photo one time of me beating on a rock . the hammer was moving so fast it wouldnt photograph so that explains the worn out elbow .

Went to see a plastic surgeon this afternoon about a trapped nerve in my elbow at the suggestion of the Neurologist. Hubby was somewhat pissed that I did not go for the surgery as he said I was still fit enough to have the surgery. I told him it would not fix my frozen elbow which apparently embaresses him when I eat as it looks strange. ( I have to hold my hand at a strange angle to get the fork to my mouth} All it would do was stop my hand going numb when I lean on it. I added that he did not realize how disabled I really am. He thought for a moment and then said. "Well you have never been a complainer" Does anyone think I should start whining?

Could she have had a Tia or something like that?

Susan, has she done a sleep apnea test? Had a check-blood work done lately? I'd be a bit worried myself, especially since she fell asleep in the shower! ... Like you said, the cold alone should have kept her awake and motivated to get the heck out! Very weird indeed!

Ok Cap, just what kind of meds do they give you for a colonoscopy that does this?

Something odd is going on with Mom today...she fell asleep 3x in the shower, took her over an hour to actually get showered. I ran back and forth 4 or 5 times checking on her. Claimed she was fine, and then came out and sat up in her chair watching tv for over an hour before she laid down for a nap. She scared the heck out of me because I could hear that the water was just running and running in there, and that she wasn't actually using it to shower - just letting it run (she has a handheld showerhead, so you can hear the difference between water just running vs it being used) - so I went in to check on her and couldn't see her shadow sitting on the shower chair behind the curtain and she wasn't answering me.

Came out and was fine, sat up and watched TV and then went to sleep again - in her bed this time. What the heck?! Guess I'll just watch her for the next 24 hours - she has "down times" as I call them, where she gets the blues or gets lethargic and just won't do anything. This might just be another of those times, but this was odd, even for her. She usually doesn't fall asleep in the shower - the fact that she gets chilled sitting there is enough to make her hurry and get done so she can get out.

my mom used to successfully micro regulate the temps with an electric heater in her room but one day she told me it started pouring out smoke . i was into dementia enough by then to know her mind would never change so i didnt argue about it . for the next few months i just silently rechecked the wall thermostat behind her . i lived with 81 degrees but sometimes shed have it pegged . she didnt see well .
jeanette,
my system is depressed from those dam colonoscopy meds . ive been freezing for a week ( indoors ) and if i dress warmly it isolated my body from the ambient heat and i get even colder . probably still better than colon cancer but always takes me weeks to recover .

Cap, have you tried loading up on Vitamin D ? It really helps with the winter blah's. Sure worth giving it a try so you can beat an egg again!!

Susan, maybe your big puppy was cold :) My 80 lb'er (constant companion) loves to be snuggled somewhere warm...

Perhaps you're just anxious to see your on which brought on the "stress" feeling?? Like, hurry up and get here already!! LOL!! I sure would be anxious... or, could be your stressing about putting this altogether to make sure mom is okay while your gone? Nothing like trying to enjoy yourself plus worrying about what's going on at home.

oh oh, speaking of sons... a few weeks ago I called Josh ( my son) and had a full breakdown on him. Poor thing... I begged him to move here with me - in hindsight I might have been guilting him to help me after all the help I've given him. I did fee bad later, but not too bad ;) Anywhoo, he, all on his own without prompting, sent me a lovely birthday card and his message brought tears to my eyes. When he called me last night he told me he'd already set up two weeks in January to come see me. Got it all cleared with his boss and everything! I thought my heart was going to burst from happiness... I get so tired of trying to figure everything here out on my own. It will be nice to have him here for 2 weeks, hopefully I won't kidnap him and make him stay!!

Bubble wrap? Hmmm..... gives me an idea, I can bubble wrap moms head in the evenings when she goes on her 10 mile pace around the house :D awesome!!

I solved the hot/cold issue in this house with 2 space heaters. One in her room and one in front of her chair. What chair, that chair, where, right there, that one, yes that one, where ARGH!! The one that is all warm and snuggly!! LOL hopefully the heat will draw her to the chair..... like a moth to a flame

LOL Veronica and FF - I have no idea what he was telling me. I'm sure it was just a funny accident, but it was hilarious. I guess we'll see if he does it again.

Susan do you think your dog might be telling you he needs some winter woolies?

SusanA43, oh my gosh, loved how your dog turned on the fireplace... one smart guy :)

Isn't it amazing what pets can do... it's stuff like that that makes you really smile.

Countrymouse, not only with the spare bedrooms not be available [both are home offices]... but the tussle of the thermostat. I know it wouldn't be fair for Mom to live with 68 degree heat in my home, and I know it wouldn't be fair for me to live with 80+ degree heat in my parent's house. One of us would become quite ill :(

Oh my gosh....today has NOT been good. Must be me, because Mom isn't doing anything different than she normally does, but *everything* is getting on my nerves today.

Woke up after having another of those horrible, vivid dreams. This one involved one of my grandkids (who has learning and developmental disabilities) being taken away from his mother and placed in foster care, and I was feeling all the emotions he felt inside, but could not express. Fear, confusion, sadness. It was heartbreaking.

Then I got up, started working, and intentionally waited until Mom laid down for a nap before I hopped in the shower - hoping for a few moments to myself, which are the only times to myself I get - shower and bedtime. Nope. About 2 seconds before I was ready to get out, Mom starts yelling my name from the living room. I'm still all wet, so I yell back to see what she wants - she wants to know where I am. I tell her I'm in the shower. No answer. I wait a couple of minutes, thinking she's going to come in to use the toilet, and I might as well stay in the shower until she's done. Nothing. I have a schedule to keep, so I'm wondering if I'm going to have to stay in here all day, or if she's forgotten she needed to come in to use the bathroom...or what?? I yell back out to tell her she can come in and use the toilet if she needs to. She says no, she just wanted to know where I was! ARGH. First time she's done that one - makes me wonder if she was a little panicked when she didn't see me.

Made breakfast and was rushing, because now I'm running a bit behind schedule, after starting laundry, getting my shower, etc. Bring Mom her breakfast, and *try* to get my own, but she decides she wants something to drink other than what I brought her, and doesn't ask nicely for it, just TELLS me to get it. GRRR.

By this time, my stress level is soaring, and I can't really explain why. Why should this day be any different than any other? I don't know. I just know I'm *really* looking forward to the few days that I will have with my son next month, without having to care for Mom. Unfortunately, I know it may be the last trip I can make to see him until Mom is gone, because I can no longer leave her alone. I've had to patchwork together a network of friends and family in order to make this trip, and there are *going* to be times where Mom is alone, but not for long - a neighbor will check in on her by coming over 3x a day, one sibling is going to come over and spend the afternoon with her mid-week and make sure she gets a shower, laundry is done, house is clean, etc. Another sibling is taking the week off and plans to come over one day that week and do some home maintenance items for me. So why am I so darn stressed??? I think it must be the season. I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I'm stressed and feel like the top of my head is going to blow off. Can't quite explain it. Kind of hating feeling this way though, because it's not Mom's fault at all. The siblings are stepping up to help me make the trip to see my son, which was unexpected and surprising, so that's not it....ugh. I hate feeling this way. I think part of the problem might be that I've been so busy this week that I haven't been able to get past one load of dishes or laundry, and that makes me irritable. I can't imagine that's the whole reason, though.

I guess I'll throw myself into my work and do some housework and cooking prep for next week today, put the new tv stand/fireplace in the corner and get that all set up...maybe that will help. I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed, for whatever reason.

Oh, and a funny for the day...I have a 90-lb dog - my constant companion. I put the new tv stand/fireplace together the other day, but it's not in the corner yet, just sitting on the other side of the room. I plugged it in so we could see how it works, and Mom was very tickled with it. This morning, the dog and I came out of my room, and he headed for the living room - I headed for the bathroom. Our normal morning routine. Then, I hear "BEEP!" - the sound of the fireplace in the tv stand turning on. I'm thinking Mom must have found the remote and turned it on. Uh..no. THE DOG TURNED ON THE FIREPLACE. He walked up to it and pushed the power button on the front panel with his nose!!!

CM just be thanful you don't have Thanksgiving and Black Friday to contend with next week.

Good idea to start the conversation, FF - even if you don't get a clear plan out of it at least you'll get a handle on what their respective attitudes are. And you can make your views plain about your spare bedroom definitely NOT being available..!

Thanks goodness for paper recycling, now I don't feel so bad tossing out junk mail and catalogs :)

Yes, my Dad needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap :P I plan to stop at their house today to talk to Dad to ask him what are their plans if either Mom [97] passes on or Dad [93] passes on.... I think Dad would be happy to move to independent living/assistant living as he is too bored at home.... he would love a couple dozens of new ears to hear his stories :)

Mom, now that's another story, she probably thinks I would move in with her.... NOT.... my health won't permit it, so she will need to decide to either hire help or move. I know she will dig in her heels. How I dread it.

I know this sounds really bad, I hope if the time comes that one parent passing first, I hope it will be Mom as Dad will be easier to direct to new housing.

i should be used to these winter blah ' s by now but im not . it has a lot to do with getting older . 10 years ago id have been out in the snow making gravel out of flawed block with a hammer . now id rather eat lumpy cake than to vigorously beat an egg ..