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My mother was up (and I counted this) at least 35 times in two hours last night because she had to pee. So, I'm thinking UTI. Debating doctor or wait. So, doctor won out.

3:00 appointment. She forgets to pull down her pants before she pees. I tell her she has to stop, pull her pants down, etc. Then there is this guy banging on the door, he's got to go. Well, I've got the pee cut, pee is dripping down my fingers, and this guys yelling he's got to go. (To his credit, he was on oxygen and looked pretty sick). Anyway ---

So, we're now waiting for the girl to come out and she does. She shows us to the examining room. Now my mother walks fast. She is focused and walks fast. No matter how many times I tell her to walk slower, use a cane, whatever, she doesn't listen. She focuses straight ahead. Next thing the two of us know, she's falling off the step that leads to the examining table and cracks her head on the floor. It was so fast, the mind doesn't even register it.

The crack so loud, everyone came running. Fire Department was called and they stabilized her head and neck. Brought her to the hospital where we spent hours in the ER for CT scans, etc. Now she has to pee, so nurse gets her up and she's limping. I say to the nurse, hey, she doesn't limp! So, nurse takes her to bathroom (my son said in no way would he have continued) ... so I tell them they need to xray her leg. Turns out she has a fractures pubic bone along with the hematoma. She's was admitted to the hospital tonight.

And yes, she has a UTI.

And I have no idea why I am writing this. I think I need to breathe.
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Cap, I did not take what you said in any form of berating. I thought her comment was comical as well. Sheesh! Sure explained a lot to me, her comment, since she was never a snuggly mom and never was with her grandkids either. Go figure eh?

Yup, totally agree hope, nothing like being alone with someone right next to you. Much worse if you ask me.

That article has a lot of people upset and with good reason. Apparently he called a family member at 11:00 P.M. that night (they dropped him off at 1:00) he told them he was lost and was just gonna sit down and rest. Here's another kicker, the police tracked his cell phone within ONE MILE of where he was. They resumed RESUMED search in the morning. WTF?! Guess the police wanted to go home where it was warm and safe. He was found just off a bike path... breaks my heart thinking what he might have been going through. I pray when the cold set in his body just slowed way down and he slumbered of peacefully. Oh, the police also needs a public flaying along with his family.
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As much as we whine or vent about our elders that we care for, I'm sure none of us could ever be so callous and uncaring as to just dump them off like that, knowing they wouldn't make it home.
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Oh Jeanette...that's just horrible. That poor man. Confused, alone, not knowing how to get home or even how to walk up to someone's house and ask for help. His so-called "family" needs to be horsewhipped if they did this intentionally...but even if they say they didn't, what they did is neglect of an elder and they should be charged as such.
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Yall I am sorry for writing little vents in bits and pieces...My mind is not seeming to be able to post stuff without doing it that way. I had a major meltdown in front of the hospice folks today...but I got it out of my system and they were very understanding. I guess they've been there done that a lot before..they seemed unphased by me insanity. At least after that the day was much better than yesterday..And thankfully the temperature is moderating so i am not frostbit.
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Jeanette...you know, My Daddy used to enjoy those little stuffed animals in his latter years. I got him one and took a lot of effort in picking them out for all major hoidays...and he loved them. I also do this for Mama...I think they are comforting to them...
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Oh Jeanette...that is heartbreaking...it does sound like they either consciously or subconsciously did not want him to come home...and in this cold...how very very sad...God bless his heart... RIP sir.. :(
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Littledog..yes the UTI definitely makes the dementia / alzheimer's worse...we think that is what Mama is going through right now and she is on Levoquin as it seems to work much better for her than Cipro. She seems a little better tonight..at least she spoke and I saw a slight smile even...I asked my cousin to come over today for coffee and she did and she also brought lunch which was very welcome.

Like you I have been alone a long time, but for some reason, being "alone" WITH someone is much worse...ie...Mama being here in body, but seemingly barely so in mind and spirit..It just seems very sad and holidays amplify that. I am however doing exactly what you do, moving forward with decorating and such for me because i used to do it for myself when I lived alone two and a half hours away...so might as well do it for me now..and who knows...Mama may enjoy the lights too. I know soothing music is relaxing for her...so we're moving forward, one step at a time...I just miss her laughter and our chit chattering so much....
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jeanette,
sorry if i implied you were belittling your mother with the baby doll . i can only compare what i read to my own experiences . my mother was pretty cynical even during her last weeks of life . she was delusional but still quite analytical . hospice suggested i lie to mom about our destination then deliver her to a phsyc doc . no matter how demented she was you just dont pull any BS on my mom .
ive been down with depression all day today and determined to figure out why . of course !! those damd colonoscopy meds . they do it to me every time . a phsyc doc once agreed with me that the meds could very well have such an effect on a person for a while . whats to be depressed about ? i just had a 250 . 00 ticket dismissed . court clerk said that never happens .
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Nobody is that stupid. This was intentional.I just can't believe that this was innocent stupidity.
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This makes my heart hurt.
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You know I have whined several times on this site about the caregiver's plight and I wish I didn't have to do this job but....I would NEVER do this to my mother even as much as she drives me crazy. I think I would be the one to go on the walk-about instead of her (kidding).
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Tex, he didn't make it through the cold night. The authorities are looking into it as "suspicious". YOU THINK!

It sickens me to even think they did it intentionally.
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In a recent Washington-Post article "Aging Population prompts more Employers to offer Elder-care Benefits to Workers"....

it said "As the population ages and more people live longer with chronic medical conditions — for instance, the number of Americans with Alzheimer’s disease is expected to nearly triple by 2050 — companies are beginning to grapple with growing numbers of workers who have elder-care responsibilities....

Some, including pioneers such as Fannie Mae in the Washington area, are offering not only flexibility, but also benefits such as emergency backup adult care, geriatric assessments, social workers to assist with referrals for adult day-care programs, and help with legal, financial and emotional counseling. For caregivers whose parents live far away, some companies offer privacy and time for workers to Skype into parents’ appointments with doctors."

The article goes on and on... I can say it is about time. In my previous employment my boss was the ice queen as she had zero understanding about what I was going through. I had taken so much time off that I found after the fact my position was being eliminated. My current employee understands 100%... in fact he let me dash to my own home when a bird flew into the house and my sig other was in a panic [reminded me of the "Modern Family" show where a pigeon flew into the house and Mitchell was in sheer panic].
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My thoughts too. When mom started showing signs of dementia, it was accusations, sudden anger, etc... Then the wandering and getting lost. It was taking us longer and longer to find her.

JB, for family to just drop off someone with dementia to find their way to the mall, sounds like either consciously or subconsciously they that he won't come home. Or they had no common sense and didn't want to be bothered accompanying him.
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OMG! JB, when you wrote RIP was he found alive or dead? Was the family just stupid or were they trying to get rid of him?
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Last night the local news channel put up a missing persons bulletin. A 70 year old man with Alzheimer's. It was reported that family members dropped him off at the public transportation platform. He was headed to the big mall.

Who in their right mind would let a 70 year old with AD go on a trip to the mall unattended? No to mention it is flippin freezing outside.

He was found this morning. RIP ...

Some people you just can't beat the stupid out of them.
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@Hope - I've been alone for almost 11 years. You are only 'alone' if you keep thinking about being alone. I finally woke up a few years ago and thought, hey, I've been doing all this stuff for family, why not ME.

The first couple of Thanksgivings, I did the frozen turkey thing. It was okay.

Now I get a boneless chicken breast (like that better than turkey) bake it in the oven in a pan with an aluminum foil liner (don't like to clean). I happen to like cranberry sauce, so that, too. Sometimes I'll make it myself other time I just do the canned thing. I love cranberry bread, so I make that. And you can figure out the fixin's easy, i.e., stuffing out of the box (just as good), etc. Then you have your dinner, your wine, whatever.

Decorate your house. Why are we doing this for everyone else yet we don't do it for ourselves?

Taking my mom for UTI test in about an hour. She got up at least and I swear this is true, 35 times in two hours last night. Seriously. She's afraid she'll wet the bed. Then today she told me she can't poop or pee but when you ask her she says she can, then she can't. She's definitely delirious or at least I think so. I looked up UTI's in elderly and see it can make the dementia worse. Problem is I had to tell a friend of mine I couldn't take her to the MRI she is having today because of my mom. I felt bad about that, but my mom has to come first.

Hopefully, this is a UTI and not another bought of Paranoia. The psychiatrist I thought might be good down here (FL) lowered her dose of Olanzapine because he said they had given her that for appetite. I questioned that vociferously but I need the prescription refilled. Well, wouldn't you know, the psychiatrist in Boston told me, NO NO NO....that's for paranoia and we did NOT give her that for appetite. So I just went with the lower dose and now this!

Now that I've made one huge mistake here re that medication, I'm angry at myself for actually listening to this guy. I didn't like him when I met him. Just wasn't a good fit. Now I'm really missing the medical care she was getting back home, MA, but I can't live up there with her. We all try our best but it seems our best just is not good enough!
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daughter52, here's an idea, most newer TV's have controls right on the bottom front or on the side of the TV frame. If your Mom doesn't mind getting up to change the channels or adjust the sounds, she can use those buttons and you can remove that remote from her room altogether. Put big color stickers on the buttons because since most TV's are black frame, the controls are also in black :)
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There can be periods where I don't want to bother whining--what's the point. Sometimes I can even breathe through the craziness and let it go. But mornings like this, I want to let it go----OUT! Mom does some crazy things. One of them is with the technology. We have the simplest of simple for her tv--basic channels (which she barely watches little) that I have to change for her cause it won't occur to her to do it when she doesn't like something. I have basic remotes that she has used for years so no changes. One visible on/off switch. But here's the catch. Each room has its own remote that only works with that specific tv. So....she absentmindedly carries the remote to the wrong room all the time (I have them labelled for each room). Several times at night she calls to me to fix her tv cause the remote won't work. Guess what the problem is? Last night after I set her up in the bed with her tv, she must have gotten up and gone in the other room and brought the remote from other room into hers. So....she couldn't turn off the tv in her room. I got up this morning to find her tv had been completely unplugged and the converter unit was down behind the tv on the floor. Frustrating. Try to keep it simple but...My mother used to be the MacGuyver of fixing things in her younger days. Not anymore.
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FF, choose next day delivery and I will have it there tomorrow. Use code "High speed" at check out
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Veronica, I just had an ah ha moment here.... I, too, am very organized to a point of OCD organized. But the past couple of years I just didn't have the energy to deal with this, so the house looks a bit cluttered. And I keep putting off items that need to be fixed, like the leak in the upstairs bathroom, outdoor lights don't work, etc.... [sigh]

Now I am thinking maybe that is why I am stressing so much. My parents are digging into my house maintenance time. I need a month without any doctor appointments for my parents, or grocery deliveries for my parents, or going to Home Depot with Dad, or the barber with Dad, or trips to Target with Mom. I need to get my house under control !!

Where's my helmet :P
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Veronica, a "head banging helmet".... LOL, thanks for getting my day started with a laugh :)
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I am by nature a very well organized and neat person but due to many causes I have had to let this compulsion slide and not allow it to cause me stress.
Suddenly I feel that my motivation and some strength has returned.
I remarked to hubby that I was reorganizing the basement and there was a lot of junk (like 20+ extension cords) that could be sorted and donated.
he made a face and stated that now he would not be able to find anything.
So I said that he could not find anything now but I knew where things were and added that he did not do any projects around the home now anyway.
He replied that he would if he could find his tools.
I refrained from commenting that if I had left it up to him his tools would still be rusting in the basement of two houses ago if I had not moved them.
We were invited to a party for one of my tenents little girls and he spent the entire time glaring round the garage at the tenants neatly organized tools.
When we got home he remarked that now he knows where his wrenches went, he knew he had three. I went outside and picked up the three rusting wrenches from beside the tractor where he had used then a year previously. He then protested loudly that he never left HIS tools out.
I have a nice new bike helmet maybe I will use that!!!!!!!!
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It has dawned on me that Mama is due for another respite visit...and this time I don't have to move one stinking thing from anywhere....I am seriously considering letting her spend a few days there so I can make an effort at pulling myself together again...that would mean her being in there now for Thanksgiving...which I'm not sure I can do...but then, there will be no Thanksgiving here anyway...just ensure for her and who knows what I will do...right now a tv dinner sounds as good as anything...too tired to do one more extra thing...I had really high hopes for the holidays and that is most likely what has happened..it has quickly come crashing down on my hard head that this one is going to be just like the last three...sad and filled with too many memories. My cousin wants to come by on Christmas Eve for a brief visit and then said she will be going to the family gathering because she can't imagine not going there. I would just as soon she go there and stay there....I don't need the extra reminder that I am alone
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Veronica...EXCELLENT idea...in fact, my brother bought Mama and me a couple of old football helmets at a salvage store in case we have a tornado here...I think it may be time to put them to use...Mine anyway....

Good news this morning, the Levoquin seems to be working...bad news, her mood is no different, still sullen, staring and another day of the same old poop....If I don't get out of this house for more than a dollar store run soon I am going to wear both those helmets out.....
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I am by nature a very well organized and neat person but due to many causes I have had to let this compulsion slide and not allow it to cause me stress.
Suddenly I feel that my motivation and some strength has returned.
I remarked to hubby that I was reorganizing the basement and there was a lot of junk (like 20+ extension cords) that could be sorted and donated.
he made a face and stated that now he would not be able to find anything.
So I said that he could not find anything now but I knew where things were and added that he did not do any projects around the home now anyway.
He replied that he would if he could find his tools.
I refrained from commenting that if I had left it up to him his tools would still be rusting in the basement of two houses ago if I had not moved them.
We were invited to a party for one of my tenents little girls and he spent the entire time glaring round the garage at the tenants neatly organized tools.
When we got home he remarked that now he knows where his wrenches went, he knew he had three. I went outside and picked up the three rusting wrenches from beside the tractor where he had used then a year previously. He then protested loudly that he never left HIS tools out.
I have a nice new bike helmet maybe I will use that!!!!!!!!
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Veronica, I've said many times that I need a new desk, because I think mine must have a head-sized dent in it by now....
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I recommend that everycaregiver purchase a "head banging helmet" ( I do not have a financial interest or any connection with a headbanging helmet manufacurer)
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Going to try to set up our new tv stand with the little electric fireplace in it today. Tested out the fireplace portion of it last night by just plugging it in and playing with the remote - Mom was tickled - she thought it was just the neatest thing. The dog and cat treat it like something to be approached with great caution. It puts out a LOT of heat, so I think it will be helpful for her during the cold winter nights.
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