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My irk are those doctors that keep a patient coming back every 6 months... such as my parent's eye doctor.... both my parents have macular degeneration, there is no cure for it, it just gets progressively worse. So why drag the person through all the eye testing every 6 months knowing you can't help them. Then my Mom is so disappointed that she's not getting a new prescription for her eye glasses... sorry, Mom, there was no change. How she use to love to read. There is hope in the future as research is working on how to treat macular degeneration, but it is just in its beginning trial stages.
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Don't get me wrong...I still believe colonoscopies are invaluable when done on a regular basis and if there is not some other issue going on that may negate the value of them, but as with anything else, I guess it depends on the age, health, prognosis, etc. and for Daddy to already be so sick and talk Mama into having it done and at that time, making her feel she HAD to do it for his health...it really affected Mama after his death because she felt responsible for letting him do the procedure...I told her she acted based on what she thought to be reliable and learned information so she shouldn't beat herself up...but it was just a bad situation for us...
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i cant argue with that , hope. i never realized they could be so dangerous .
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I guess I am coming from a personal note re the colonoscopy.. My Dad, age 82, had a colonoscopy where a polyp was discovered, followed by surgery during which a perforated colon occurred and a massive infection set in...Daddy was already very sick, and to me, it was ludicrous to perform this procedure on him...I will always believe it hastened his departure with a time that was already short...Sorry, but I still feel the same way about those.
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hope,
colonoscopies are lifesavers at any age and the slight surgery required shouldnt pose a problem for a patient of any age .
i understand your message but colonoscopies might have been a bad example as the procedure is so non invasive .
ct scans have became so effective that they catch everything from arterial plaque to small cancers in their infancy . in fact theyve became so effective that autopsies are being performed with them -- no scalpel or cutting needed .
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I am amazed at a doctor who would continue to want to put someone in their 80's or 90's through things like mammographies, colonoscopies, etc.....I'm not sure what they would recommend if they actually found something...I am thankful that none of my Mama's doctors have gone that route. It just seems to put the patient AND the one who needs to get them there through an awful lot of effort and concern over something that just really seems unnecessary at this point...

The flip side of this was my Mama would not go to a doctor for years and years and then when she started falling and breaking bones she still did not want to go, but thankfully the doctors she came into contact with did not recommend that she do so either...other than the things necessary for their comfort at this point.
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freq,
your mother is 97 ? wow
im constantly amazed at the ww11 vets who are still in our communities . i know a few of them and if they have any health problems they never speak a word about it . just some hardcore old fellows .. many of them are in their 90 ' s ..
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I think I will try to corner my Mom's gyn and ask if Mom needs to go every year for a mammogram, or can she go every 2 to 3 years. The test are very painful for her because her back is now slumped over. And on the way home Mom will tell me "those girls don't know what they are doing".... "they gave me a 3-D test and I didn't want it" [no it wasn't the 3-D]... "the machine is different, I will go someplace else next year".... [sigh]

I have a similar issue with Mom's oncologist who she has been seeing for 20 some years because Mom last a low blood count, but on her last visit the doctor said don't come back because, if she hadn't got leukemia by now, she won't get getting it. Come next summer it will be struggle to convince her of what he said.

Same situation with Mom's urologist, she has a very slow moving bladder cancer and the doctor also said she doesn't need to come back... this cancer won't be the death of her. Why put her through this check-up.

Believe me, if a doctor said everything is fine, I don't need to see you anymore, I would be happy as a clam :)
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Ff, that's kind of a huge deal. Going through the diagnosis, treatment, and recovery, and taking on so much for your parents -- and never telling any family about it, in order to spare them the stress.
Personally, if your mother doesn't need the mammogram, then cancel the appointment. Make up something to tell her if you need to -- something about AMA standards changing to once every 3 years for women over age 80 or something like that.
You do NOT need to put yourself through this, so don't.
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Veronica91, yes I am fussing because it's an appointment Mom doesn't need... it's a half day off from work I don't need.... it's time on the road I can't deal with [I get panic attacks driving].

Then I go into a cold sweat and overwhelming memories hits me big time because the imaging center is the same place where I learned I had breast cancer 5 years ago. Sitting in the waiting room makes me want to cry. My parents never knew I had cancer because Dad was still in recovery from a heart attack, so their household was in overdrive, to me I didn't feel fair to announce what was happening to me. I held this secret from all my relatives because I didn't want it to slip out to my parents.
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FF She had it fixed in her mind so is unlikely to change so stop fussing about it. if she is willing to put up with the discomfort let her be. It's not your boobs being put through the mangle. Medicare may still pay at least every 24 months especially as she had a close relative with ca breast. Don't know if that continues into the nineties but it is certainly OK in the mid 70s.
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ba8alou, yes my Mom is 97 and still gets mammograms, it takes two techs to help her with the x-ray as Mom is so tiny and frail... she had a sister who had breast cancer 40 some years ago who has since passed on so Mom is afraid she might get it even though her other two sisters [one who passed at 100] never had breast cancer.

I know it doesn't make sense because if cancer is found no surgeon is going to touch her at that age, and I doubt any Oncologist will give her chemo. Mom is very hard of hearing so it is difficult to discuss this with her. I will need to corner her GYN and ask her what should we do... I don't think Medicare even pays for mammograms in that age group.
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Love this idea for sure! I guess for starters I am going to get my health back on track starting tomorrow...then maybe celebrate that by doing something fun...yes I like this idea a lot!!!
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This is caregiver's month. What are you doing for yourself? Our monthly caregiver's support group will be celebrating it at the hotel. We most likely will have some speakers come in the morning, and then real lunch. I went last year and they had someone come in to help us understand Medicare, enrolment, penalty for late enrolment, etc... I won't be able to go this year. I work. And this time, we can bring a guest. Too bad. I really feel bad that I can't go.

So treat yourself to something this month. Find a way to find a parent-sitter. Movie? Have lunch at that restaurant you always wanted to go to? As for me, I splurged by buying most of my favorite author's ebook series. I have reread her books several times. I'm going to re-read it again. Each time I read it, I find stuff that I didn't catch previously. Either that, or I'm getting forgetful! =)

So... Kudos to all of Us Caregivers! And Experienced caregivers who still help out here on AC even when they're no longer caregiving.
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Ff, do your parents really need to see all those separate docs? Your mom is still getting mamos? Isn't she in her 90s? What will be done if a lump is found?
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one more post on daylight losing time.

"When told the reason for daylight savings time the old Indian said, "Only the Government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket".

HA!
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great day today . after a 400 mile round trip to chicago and back with no problems an idler pulley bearing went out on the small trk today and of course ate the serpentine belt -- one mile from a friends house . set me back 70 bucks for both idlers and the new belt but it was an easy fix and i am overjoyed that it didnt fail me out on my highway trip . thats the kind of little things that we should be thankful for . work is going to be slow at the farm till my load ofstone comes in so i went to the state forestry and theyre letting me harvest firewood for 3 bucks a truckload . again , quite a blessing . supplying my renter with firewood means i dont even have to pay my share of the utilities for dam near a year . so im sitting here munching on cold venison sandwiches thinkin im the luckiest sob alive . of course i have a couple of cash firewood customers too . one of them last year traded me an all steel trailer for some wood . the trailer got chopped up and became my new truck bed . good things dont just fall out of the sky , you have to make them happen .
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And Mom's hearing aid guy will come to our house!
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FF, you are on the right track with the back to back apts.. that is what I do as much as possible. we get off track sometimes as someone may need to be sooner, or Dad sees podiatirst and Mom cardiologist.. but I really try to do this.
I know what you mean about the jeep.. I have had SUVs for 15 years now. I work at the Hop in Baltimore and they expect me to be there too. However, thanks to the magic of FMLA and the fact that the CG can't get to our house if the snow is too bad... win win for me!!! It's an hour drive for me one way, and I am getting too old for the stress of that drive in the snow and ice. However, I will say that last year I spent 2 nights in a hotel in Bmore due to the weather.So I could work. Thank God hubs stepped up with the generator and potty water...
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I have been dragging my feet big time when it comes to picking up the phone and making doctor appointments.... when I do actually dial the phone and if I hear I am number 6 in the queue, I hang up... [sigh]

I need to set back-to-back appointments for Mom and Dad eye doctor... Mom and Dad blood work and general physical... Mom and Dad dermatologist.... Mom GYN which means another appointment mammogram.... oops, I forgot, back to the hearing aid person.... and I need to juggle these appointments around my own doctor appointments, of which there are many, and work schedule which means half a day off for each one.

Do you feel like screaming if you see one more waiting room?
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And you're right about the time wasters...Especially right now, I don't have time for those...I don't want to be mean to them, just don't have the energy to use on them that needs to be saved for Mama.
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Captain, I think you're amazing! And you're right. This morning, when Mama is again having a somewhat blue morning, I did catch just a faint little smile a bit ago...and I can live on that for a while today....I have to remember I can't fix this...I want to, but I can't. I would trade places with her if only I could....but I know she would not want that either. So I will just do what I have been doing for as long as God gives me the honor of caring for Mama and trust that all will be well. I get anxious and I know there is no need to be so, as there is nothing I can do but take the best care of her that I can....but again, that nagging feeling keeps coming up that I want to fix it...God bless her...just going forth today with a positive attitude, doing everything I CAN do and trusting God to do the rest.. Hoping for a good day for everyone out there... Thanks Captain. :)
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there are some people in this world who cant be helped , will take advantage of you and arent worthy of your time and energies , hope , but the work you do for a parent i believe will repay you many times over . im on the other side of parent caregiving nw and i still insist that the times you can make them smile or laugh will be the memories that you choose to hang onto after theyre gone . its a case for being patient and kind even in the most exasperating of circumstances . i have two sons and the fact that their dad had such a loving and nurturing side was not lost on them . based on my experience and their observations of same i dont think theyd ever hesitate to step up to the task of elder care . its simply about obligation ( self imposed or otherwise ) , and putting your own desires second to someone elses immediate needs . they never fail to ask how edna is doing when i see them .. theyve learned that theres no shame in a gentleman showing a nurturing side .
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Got industrious and fixed a bacon, swiss, mushroom quiche. Sometimes those just hit the spot on a chilly night. I used crescent rolls for the crust because the store bought ones are too greasy tasting...so when I don't want to make my own, I like crescent rolls...it was really good so I had a good hot prepared meal tonight and I have not done that in quite a while....it feels so cold out there to me...hope everyone is staying cozy tonight...I really appreciate the support today...I have felt a LOT less alone .. :)
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im still pretty upset about my aunt being held captive at nh . if you cant leave -- its jail . i think time is on my side . cuz isnt very healthy and she dont understand changing her engine oil . i think she'll need a favor from me long before i need one from her . she doesnt have edns ss to supplement her own now that nh gets ednas ss check . i think shed sell her soul for a couple new tires pretty soon . i would have already had this fixed but edna is no longer under the care of her old doc . shes been transferred to nh doc . old doc wanted her out of nh on occasion for the sake of her mental health . pia refused to allow edna to go to the dementia wing without even touring the wing . this is so ignorant that even nh staff have expressed their displeasure about it to me -- even skirting confidentiality laws to do so . pia is an idiot . idiots eventually screw up ..
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Hey there hope!! Glad to see you posting again!! Keep up updated on YOUR doc appt. So happy you finally decided to go!

Autumn seems to bring a lot more than pretty leaves and cool weather. Seems to me it brings on serious dread/depression of the long months ahead. People here in the PNW pretend to have this "OH YAY" attitude as if they love 5 months of dark dreary and cold rainy foggy days on end. Personally, I don't believe them!!

I am loading up on Vitamin D and a good all around Vitamin supplement. You know, this is my 3rd winter here, each one I say I simply can't make another one without dying... yet, here I am, watching mom do her 5 mile, 3 hour trek around the house...

Jesse.... I so love your posts and way of thinking :) I'm finding my enrichment in my big pittie I rescued 9 months ago. Since she's a teenager compared to my other 3 geriatrics :D she makes me want to take her for long hikes along the river. Besides, winter steelhead are one the way up and I need an easily accessible place to land one. Such a tasty fish! I only get 3 hours 3 times a week and damn sure I will not waste those precious hours!!

SusanA...thanks... I am still hanging, although I really didn't think the time change would affect her like it did :/ boy oh boy.... it really brought out the not so good in her. Since I changed every light in this house to "daylight" lights, I sorta kinda helps...sorta....kinda... sigh. As hard as it is at times, I don't think I could bad talk about my mother. She wasn't always this way and one day she no longer will be this way either. One day I may be that way and I surely hope I am not talked about like a crazed person while sitting there listening.

hehe, so glad I missed the "cleaning" day posts!! Our house is clean, but it's not spotless. There is no rush to clean dishes... my OCD is the floors/carpet. The day y'all was talking cleaning, I was shampooing the carpets again. I do this monthly... geriatric dog and mom whom occasionally takes a whiz wherever. well.... Invest in a nice shampooer ;)

Countrymouse... I shall never look annoyingly at something else again without "laying my ears" back!! Too funny!! ( yes, I can move my ears)!

Feeeeeeeding time!
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Captain, too bad that your Aunt was sleeping, it seems she always has a way of making you smile :)

I am still smiling about you having your nails painted. There was an article in our local newspaper where this columnist took her 9 and 12 year sons to the nail place where she was having her nails painted.... the sons decided to have their toe nail done, and they didn't care what anyone thought about it. The nail salon used navy polish. Any negative remarks the boys got from friends or relatives, they just shrugged their shoulders and said "who cares". Good for them. They even got one of their friends to get his toe nails painted. Next time they plan to get the colors of their favorite football team :)
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I don't have a problem driving in California obviously, but I hate the dark at 5pm.
Its depressing.
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Pamz, I use to dislike winter driving until I got my first Jeep back in 1991... wow, what a huge difference.... no more white knuckling it.... no more slipping and sliding... and I never been stuck once [knock on wood]. Also, we don't need to shovel our driveway even if there is a foot of snow.... my sig other also has a Jeep :) The down side of this is that our places of employment expect us to be at work :P
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I hate driving in winter... and I am not loving this dark at 5pm stuff
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