I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
My issue with driving is now my panic attacks are in full bore... thanks to my parents who stopped driving 6 years ago.... every year my panic attacks would get worse and worse... and if I mentioned it to my parents, Dad would say "but who will drive us?". So I would charge ahead hoping for the best. Finally had to stop. Last night Dad asked if I am going to see a doctor about the panic attacks. Been doing that already, Dad, for a couple of years now, there is no magic cure.... [sigh]
butterfly tell aunty you will not be answering your phone for X# of hours then turn it off. You can check your voice mail if you feel compelled but don't let her guilt you me time is me time
i got rained out of work today but thats a good thing .no one else out on the farm will show up on a weekend so ill work saturday and sunday both if im not rained out and if i get things ready for a concrete pour next week ill be man of the year in mikes eyes . im nonchalantly trying to make myself an integral part of this farm for the stonework and the year round employment it offers . there are serious benefits out there . for one , the farm foreman is going to give me all his leftover from last year venison . then hes going to knock me down a doe in this new deer season . the doe is going into widemouth mason jars . i love pressure canned meat , its fork tender when it comes out of the jars . it all keeps pointing to " get your ass to diggin the root cellar " . this is 100% MY life again and its a rocket sled ride when i get things lined up . the farm store finally marked down the cherry trees so i crammed another in the orchard today , worked 3 hours , had banana cream pie with edna , planted a tree and put the new truck tool box into service . had to install junk tray in it and a lid stop chain .
you people who feel like youll never get your own life moving again after caregiving ? you will , damnt , and youll enjoy the challenge of starting over . youll do it with renewed vigor and the blessing / approval of the elder you took time out of your life for ...
Now we have Ebola to worry about. Ebola has been around since 1976 but not many people contracted the virus.... as of today over 8,000 have the virus, with 50% not surviving. There is no vaccine. Doesn't this scare you just a little?
Then it dawned on me, no offense, not to compare people to pets but I thought this was interesting.... I had a very elderly cat who the Vet said she had dementia [not uncommon in cats] who if she woke up in a room and no one was there, she would cry out in a panic. There was one hallway in the house where she tend to get lost, also crying out. And she would forget where the litter boxes were. She passed on years ago at 21. I am now thinking there is a common parallel with memory issues, be it people or pets. Now one of my other older cats is starting to *get lost* in the same hallway. My other two older cats so far haven't had this issue.
http://content.onlinejacc.org/article.aspx?articleid=1121737
Moderators: please leave the link for a day or two. It is the link to a serious journal article.
No not for buying the cigarettes or even smoking them. That was a temporary lapse. you will get over that.
The shame on you is for dwelling on the "What if I hadn't ever picked up a cigarette"-------------------- Well you did and you will stop again if it is important enough to you, so draw a line on the past and start moving forward. It's yesterday it's over, as Bob said it could have happened anyway.
send a text and email to everyone "What part of I've just had a massive coronary don't you understand? leave me the phuck alone to recover"
What you need right now is a couple of weeks at a health farm where you can have a daily massage, gentle exercise, light swimming, good healthy food, plenty of fresh air and no contact with the outside world. Could you afford this? how about wealthy brother paying? it would be a good investment for him. You have certainly earned it. I am sure Mom has declined it has only been two weeks and she was moved with no preparation in an emergency and has not had time to aclimatize. If you resume your duties don't be guilted into doing it at least for six weeks and only then if you feel strong enough. You have a lot of healing to do and that could take 6 - 12 months