I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Really sucks to get old sometimes - or at least "old-er"...and to top it off, the eye doc told me last week I have to have bifocals....ugh!
My whine is, I would love to have a bathroom that doesn't smell like urine all the time and wonder what the hanging towel was used for. :)
heres my concern today ; a page on this .... thing ...said people who take ... altzhimers get from ... eat zanax ... something something ..
what time izzit ? i want a SANDWICH ..
By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)
I've officially been living with/caring for Mom for 2 years now, with many years to go, I'm sure. I'm glad she's still here, of course, but days like today just make it rough. Today is my birthday. Now, I'm not saying that so that everyone will feel sorry for me or anything like that - it's just that this is the first time - ever - that neither my mom nor my kids remembered my birthday. I understand my mom not remembering - she can barely remember what day it is anymore,let alone special occasions - so I'm ok with her not remembering, though it made me kind of sad this morning, remembering how she always made a big deal out of our birthdays as kids. My brother & one sister remembered, and my aunt - that's it. One of my 3 kids isn't speaking to me now, apparently he's chosen to start a "new" life, and leave all his responsibilities and his family behind - so I knew I probably wouldn't hear from him, but I was kind of hoping, I guess. I spoke to both of the other 2 kids today, and neither one remembered - and I'm just not one to speak up and remind them - I don't think I should have to.
So...I guess I'm kind of having a pity party for myself tonight. I'll yank myself out of it soon. I guess it just hurts knowing that the ones I've always taken care of and provided for didn't remember my birthday, when I've always been there for them and made sure their birthday was a special day for them, like my mom did for me. I guess maybe I'm being a little childish to expect anything.
I thought of how ironic it is that I keep having the back of the woman who has never had mine. I would be able to feel good about it if I didn't feel so angry so often.
Capn, I don't mind not having POA. It is just that sometimes I need it. Like when dealing with a financial or other company over the phone, the first question they ask is if I have POA. I have to get my mother to the phone to tell them it is okay to talk with me. Soon she is not going to be able to do that, the way things are going. After today and an earlier incident, I decided it is not my problem if Mom has a problem that requires someone with a POA. If anything happens, my brother will have to handle it.
8 yrs ago my mom and i wrote her will with a local attorney . he wanted to grant poa to me at that time . mom strongly dissagreed , said she didnt want anyone having access to her money . in front of the attorney , i agreed with mom . because of her apprehension , upon her death the attorney told us kids that he was the default executor because i had a pill possession felony a few years ago . im pretty sure he lied about the law excluding me from executorship but he still permitted me to do ALL business pertaining to the estate . he just wanted to make sure it all went down equitably . he oversaw it . i think he did a good job on moms behalf . id suggest to everyone here to do like mom did -- get a springing poa . if your physically unable to go to the bank for business the poa is active . if you recover and are able to do your own business the poa is retracted . mom didnt distrust me . her money was her power and security and she didnt care to relinquish it to anyone . i will do the same when my will / directives are written .
I told my mother it upset me that he didn't trust me. What really made me mad was that she agreed with him that I couldn't be trusted. Her proof was that I had run away one night when I was 14 years old.
I tried to comfort my anger by saying that I know myself, and what these two old farts think makes no difference. And I wondered why I am here with this dreadful woman who never had my back when I was a kid, and still doesn't now I'm a senior. Yes, I am ready to call it quits and tell her to go frak herself. I would, but I have more character than that. I'm hoping that sleeping on it will make me feel better. This is not dementia behavior. It is long-standing nasty behavior. Today just reopened a serious wound.
I used to do A LOT of my research online at work before I came here... the owner (and friend) installed a program called IBOSS and shut off all the fun places.... most of us learned how to get around it ;) ahhhh.... those were the good ole days!
I don't know how people who have very demanding or inflexible jobs manage to cram this stuff in. At least I can figure it out most days.
I haven't had any real whines lately, and this one is minor too, but here goes: I can't believe I've spent most of my day, trying to get ONE relatively simple thing done for my mother. Her health insurance has a member website where you can go online, order your prescriptions, and have them mailed or ready at the local pharmacy. We're at that point now, where I need to handle this. So I noticed that her Aricept meds weren't listed. The doc that prescribed them is not part of her insurance co, she was referred to him, so it's a manual process to get the meds he prescribes put into the system. The website has an 'email the pharmacy' option, so I emailed and explained. Got an email back saying I needed to call her local pharmacy directly. Ok, fine. Did that. The pharmacist told me that my mother's doctor's office would need to call the pharmacy directly and authorize the refill. OK. FINE. I called the dr's office, left a message for them to please do that. Hoping I'll get a call confirming that it's all done. If not, I will need to call again.
if one goes to a va er you will be parting with your clothes as a first step . i suspect this makes a person rather vulnerable --less likely to bluff staff or walk out on a procedure / visit .
linda, i wont walk in a kroger store . every purchase is some kind of game to detract from the fact that your being ripped off . then ther'lle be overcharges at the checkout that are deliberately too troublesome to challenge -- the checkout receipt deliberately garbled . they might think people are idiots but big chains fail all the time because the public rebels .
i thought this comical . i never try to chisel someones price but i wanted to get my aunt an arbys sandwich a couple weeks ago . there was no special deal available so a basic roast beef was 3.29 ea . i told the girl id take one for my aunt but wouldnt pay that price on my own behalf , forget the other two . damm if she didnt offer me 3 of em for 5 bucks .. i weigh every purchase against what my mom would think , which quite often was ( i aintta payin it and let em keep it " .
I must have missed the memo about not posting here.
My whine today is because I proved to myself I was a demented old lady.
Hubby had surgery yesterday, nothing much but we had to get up at 4 am and did not get home till 5-30 pm. I was given a voucher for free coffee in the cafetera and was surrounded by with all these efficient people in white coats and scrubs quickly picking up the coffee and snacks whisking round me. First I could not find anything in the food line then I needed cutlery and could not work the vending machine that dispenses it. After that I finally worked out that you turned the bagel splitter upside down to cut the bagel, no knife involved. Ah and the toaster,it had two levels so I tried first one then the other but where was the switch to make it work. Finally as I was gazing at my two halves of ragged bagel sitting in the top of the toaster I noticed they had dissappeared only to be thrown out of the bottom a few seconds later. I managed to make it to the check out thankful I had a voucher as I was shaking too badly to have produced cash. As I sat and ate I noticed other senior citizen walking round and round in a daze fearful of actually approaching the guts of the food chain so I felt a little better.
No a Whine but the goewns for the patients have become like space suites. everything off, even if you are only haveing your nails cut aand put on this thick disposeable thing that looks like a space suit but the good side is that it does not leave your backside exposed for all to see, There are many pockets and slits in the thing including a port for a hose that pumps in warm air to keep you comfortable. How times change mostly overnight.
There was a woman in the waiting room at least 20 years younger than me and a lot physically fitter than me who kept complaining how tired she was and asking how much longer she had to wait because she had to get up at 4am to get there. I was very proud of myself for not opening my mouth!!!!!! Patient is sleeping the day away on his opiods not suffering at all.
More of a bit of a mixed day, then.
Pee not such a worry - a good mop and any standard disinfectant will see it off a hard floor. For carpets try something they sell for pet 'accidents', maybe? The hallway bowel movement, oh brother. I was scrubbing the same off my mother's bedroom carpet in the wee small hours of Sunday morning - I used probably over strength Zoflora disinfectant and my own tears, then rinsed and rinsed and blotted and blotted and redisinfected, then left the window open and the heater on and so far so good - no returning stain or odour. But God willing you won't need to know that.
Continence issues can test the mettle, can they not? It's safety that's proving the deal-breaker for me, but toileting accidents surely do break the spirit.
once when i took my mom " shopping " we were standing in the checkout and she was bumping the forward button on her old fart cart , in essence rocking the machine . it puzzled me . i was thinking this is the sort of annoying thing she would have backhanded me for when i was a kid. as months passed i began to see all kinds of strange behavior. i haveta admit before she was diagnosed with dementia there were times i wanted to strangle her. i do understand how you cant deal with the shopping trips. our parents came from a generation of poverty and war. as postwar society evolved into a manufacturing / consumer model they embraced and found comfort in routine. im more 60 ' - 70 ' s counterculture and too much structure makes me want to climb the bell tower with a 50 cal .. i tried to buy ear wax softening drops at a drugstore today and they had a special deal ; buy one at a special inflated price , get 3 bucks off your next purchase -- except the tag implied the purchase was marked down to three bucks . our parents would have had a ball playing such a childish game . i told the cashier " im not here to play " and fortunately she understood .. my dad was the kind who would spend 75 cents to wash his car with 3 kids in the back seat dying for an ice cream cone . the church got 40 bucks a week tithe money while we literally went hungry. we ARE NOT our parents thankfully ..