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CountryMouse - hee...yes, I'm only half-kidding about the bubble wrap, but some days...

Ashlynne - a kitty! I wish we could share pics here. We could have a pets only thread and share all our pet stuff.

Discussed the trip situation w/my ex again, and now he says youngest doesn't *want* to come here because he has a girlfriend there. Um...I'm only asking for one week! I didn't quite believe him, so I asked to talk to youngest himself to get it directly from him. Unfortunately....ex is right. :-( So now I'm not having problems with ex over it...I'm having to convince my own son to come see me. He's 16...it's the age, I guess. Sucks.
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Oh dear ashlynne you will have to show us a photo of that lucky kitten. Gosh when i get my own place ill take them all in!
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Ash you are wonderful I know you will love your new baby when is she comming. When we had the horse farm all my animals were discards. I agreed to the dogs but the cats were self service
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Ashly~what an angel you are in rescuing the little babe. The last several cats I have had are rescues found on the streets. Currently I have a cat my daughter rescued while at college...he was abandoned in the apartment complex.My dog is my mother's dog which she can no longer take care of due to Alz but she has visitation rights,LOL!! The dog is a small miniature poodle (13 lbs) who was only socialized with my mom and us visiting her. She barks at my husband every time he moves...she is also my diabetic informant, when ever hubby gets himself a treat such as a candy or cookies (he puts the wrappers on the coffee table), the dogs gets the wrappers and brings them to me, LOL!!! I don't police my hubby with his diabetes, we just make a joke that she is watching him and tattling on him.
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For the ten years after my father died until I gave up everything to care for Mommie Dearest I visited once a month, 200 miles each way plus I had to spend evenings cooking all the food to take - god forbid Madam should cook me a meal. Christmas was a real wonder - cooking for days to cart food to sit at the kitchen table to eat and listen to her b*tch and whine.

In a NH now she's a shell, barely eats and is down to slop. Today I put together home made broth, veg and so on to take her. Got busy and forgot it until it was about to burn. I've thrown cold water in it and left it. I'll see how it looks/smells in the morning before I decide whether to add noodles or chuck it out. Why bother? I really don't know. Maybe I just feel for anything/anyone that is so down.

A bright spot. Friends found a tiny kitten on a back road trying to eat road kill and took her home. They have animals coming out of their ears, can't keep her and were going to take her to a shelter, which means she'll be destroyed. Nope, not going to happen! Poor wee thing has struggled to survive this far and she so deserves a good life so she's coming to join my crew.

She'll have a large dog crate in my sun room for a day or two so she can do a meet and great with the crew in safety, then it's off to my vet for a check up and see what she needs. Mentally I've called her Baby :)
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And I probably don't need to add that I'm counting the days until I don't have to deal with the ex any more. I'm sure he is too, because he doesn't like me any more than I like him these days.
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Ashlynne - yes there was a co-parenting agreement, but both my older son and the younger one decided at some point they wanted to try living with their Dad. Older son came back after 3 years - he and his dad do NOT get along. It broke my heart when younger son went, because I knew for a fact that once his Dad got him in his home, he would not let him come back. I knew it was going to be a one-way trip. It's a long story, but the short version is he thinks I am responsible for our older son's misdeeds (bad choices he made when he was an adult and not in my control) - and that's why he doesn't want younger son here. He thinks I'll "let" him get into trouble. When we split up, the agreement was that the kids would all live with me full-time and visit him in the summer, but then younger son wanted to go live with him, which negated the agreement, and a new one would be required. I could go to court to fight over it, but he lives in another state over 600 miles away, and I would have to go *there* to do it for however many court dates it would take - which I can't do. At this point, I'm trying to just negotiate with him. Son will be 18 in 2 years, at which time he can do what he wants, if he can get out from under his father's controlling thumb.
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YIPPEE mums gone to bed! gosh we dont ask for much? now i can watch a movie and TRY? and switch off which im finding harder and harder to do lately! Wish i had a big box of chocs now!!
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I dont know how to spell that flower?
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Only joking Glad i didnt invite him as i know hed never leave IKE!!!

Cap meet you in Oneills bar in Seville on saturday the 13th at 9pm local time!! wear a red cornation on your bandana!! That gives you a week to get there get someone to mind IKE!! Dress code casual BUT stunning!! LOL
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Ahh, come on Cap, go with Kaz! What a wonderful invite! And Seville?! You bet!

If my, I guess she is a step neice, can fly with two little ones, she hates to fly, you can too!
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Susan when you parted from dumb a** ex was there not a co-parenting agreement setting out who could do what and when? Here in Canada, as part of a divorce or separation, the children come first and there's always a written agreement filed with the court in such matters. If there is such a thing in your case, go after him!
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Ok enough already! its 11.15pm here! Go to bed mum go to bed mum go to bed mum pleaseeee go to bed!! want some meeeeeeeeeeeeee time! Been on the go now as maid,cook,cleaner,handyman,companion,doormat since 11am.

Thanks SKY TV for putting "devious maids" on at this time youve really messed up my life!
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Heidi....hang in there. Keep us posted on your search for a facility. We're here for you.
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I know what you mean, Kaz. When I first moved in with Mom, she was still mobile, cooking for herself most of the time, and doing dishes and laundry. Now she does nothing - no dishes, no laundry, can't stand up for more than about 2 minutes without needing to sit, falls are a huge issue, and when she got confused by a voice mail recording yesterday (she thought it was a person talking to her and handed me the phone), well, that was just IT for me. I had to choke back tears. It was so hard. It progresses so quickly sometimes. Some days are pretty good - others are horrible.
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Poor mum shes being doing "crosswords" all night and ive just had a peek and god love her shes hardly finished one time for a cry and a ciggy in the kitchen things like this really upset me it just brings this illness in your face and how much she is progressing only a few weeks ago she was doing ok on them? d*mn this illness its a curse!
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My whine of the day? I'm over it. Over caretaking, over FIL, over dementia, over instructing him what everything is and what he's supposed to do next. If I hear " yes ma'am" one more time I'm gonna snap. Going on facility tours next week. Hoping we can figure out the money. I'm done done done. Maintaining my patience with him but losing it inside. Done. Simply done.
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Off to Seville in Spain! thats where all our oranges come from! Yes a wk of sun,sangria and tapas food cant wait AND sister will be here looking after mum. I am quite nervous but excited i havnt had a holiday in 4yrs so being "normal" again will be a bit strange! going on my own but that never bothered me! asked Cap to come with me but he dosnt like to fly!!!!!!!
Friend read my cards so its looking good for "romance" HA! i keep saying its like riding a bike? ill get back into it???
Mums not really bothering me this week as maybe im too excited that nothing can bring me down!!

Theres a spanish guitar festival on while im there so i cant wait as i love this music and would love to learn to play it but had better learn guitar first i guess i mean its something you could learn while being a caregiver will get myself a guitar soon!
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Feel for you Susan - falls have been an utter nightmare for us, too.

I expect that, like me, you're only half joking about the bubble wrap - and actually, if she's going to make a habit of chucking herself down access ramps, you could think about those hip protectors, maybe? Admittedly my mother would have me certified if I tried getting one onto her, but I do browse the mobility catalogues sometimes and wish...
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Where you going Kaz?
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Gosh susan shes lucky she hasnt had anything major happen to her all those falls! Sorry you are having trouble with ex like you need the added stress. Oh yes glad im divorced and NO contact with him for years! we had no children though so i know its different. Just glad hes not in my life anymore!
Friend did card reading and travel and holiday romance came up!!! Yipee! cant wait to have a week of "normal" im scared i may not come back!
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Kazzaa - I think the weight issue only compounds the fall risk and the damage done when they do fall. More often than not, when Mom falls, she hits her knees, twists her back trying catch herself on the way down, and slams her face or head into the floor or ground. Then she's incapacitated for about a week while she recovers.

She's had some wicked bad falls. One resulted in a chipped tooth and permanent mark on her shin where she hit it (not a scar, more like a dead tissue area). The worst fall she's taken was when Dad was in the hospital just before he passed away. I was up in the room with Dad, answering questions from the doctor, knowing Mom was waiting for me to come get her from the parking lot with a wheelchair, but I couldn't get away fast enough, and she tried to walk in on her own. Big mistake. She made it as far as the sidewalk ramp, and her steam just ran out - she couldn't lift her feet anymore and caught her shoe on the *very* small incline on the ramp and fell flat on her face. She completely avulsed her toenail from the nail bed, banged both knees hard on the concrete, and worst of all, slammed her face right down on the concrete. She almost broke her nose, scraped her face up, blackened both eyes and had a huge lump on her forehead.

I swear, I need to wrap her in bubble wrap.
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Well one good thing being overweight...........if they fall they have a cushioned body maybe less chance of breaking a bone? Mum fell out of bed last week quite a height she has very light bruises nothing major? maybe she bounced?????? LOL
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Boy, today was sure an interesting one. We usually go to breakfast every Sunday morning with my brother and his family, and today, we went somewhere a little different. Got Mom into the restaurant ok, she walked up the wheelchair ramp and our table was right inside the door - but it was quite an effort for her. On the way *out* of the restaurant, however, she caught her foot on the ramp (because she doesn't pick up her feet but kind of shuffles when she walks) and fell against me, nearly sending me crashing through the wooden railing on the ramp. Fortunately, brother decided to help with Mom today and was on the other side of her and grabbed her arm. Mom kept asking if I was ok - she was worried she had hurt me when she fell on me. Truth be told, I think I strained some muscles trying to stop her from falling, but I'm ok - just a little sore. I was more concerned that she was going to fall. Fortunately, she didn't, but it was a close call.

I swallowed my pride and *some* of my anger at my ex and called and left him a voice mail asking him again to allow my youngest son to come visit me here. I assured him that: 1) YES, son will come back to live with him after his visit - he will not be staying here; 2) Son will be with me 24/7, so no opportunity for him to get into trouble (he thinks I will "let" him get into trouble); 3) he will not have to even lift a finger or spend a dime for son to come up here - I will come get him and bring him back myself. Reminded him that our son has family up here that hasn't seen him in 2 years now, because I haven't been allowed to bring him back up here due to older son's shenanigans, which my ex blames me for. Guess I'll wait and see what his response is tomorrow....if he bothers to call. He likes to conveniently "forget" to call me.
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Kazzaa, my mother sounds a bit similar to yours. She's never exercised, has been very overweight for most of her life, and seems to have no tolerance for physical exertion (would never deliberately work up a sweat or get out of breath, would never stretch, would never do ANYthing physical.). She doesn't have diabetes or a heart condition, and has never broken anything though, so she believes she's in very good health. I can't imagine her being able to "rehab" or recover from something like a bad fall though. The pain would be too much, she has very little muscle strength now, and I don't see her being motivated at all.
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My mum is only 77yrs old but i feel as if she has the body of a 90 yr old? shes been ill ALL my life so its all about your attitude mum never looked after herself she should be jumping around at 77? i look at fairly spritely elders older than mum walking around and it makes me so sad. Shes too young to be this way but its after years of abuse and not doing what she was told ie diet and lifestyle!

I just pray she dosnt suffer and goes peacefully in her sleep. I dont feel she has much time left as her will went along time ago. So sad. all i can do is never end up like this and enjoy life no matter what it takes!

Susan your mum sounds like mine just happy to sit and watch TV all day and night and be served meals all day! Ive given up trying to get her out and about much as she just dosnt want to go? they say the home is thier "comfort zone" its where they feel most safe so i dont push her anymore as i know my old mum would have gone anywhere as she loved getting out and about. Yeh have to push her a bit to get some "vitamin D" on her bones shes better this year than last year and is doing a bit of gardening? well? making a huge mess in the garden but im done caring ill clear it all up in the fall? as long as shes outside i dont care.

Its so hard to watch this as they are so young gosh i hope to God i am travelling at this age and having fun life really is short!
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Veronica - I know, 74 is relatively young in these days when people live to be 90+, but to be honest, I don't know that Mom has that many years left. I could be wrong. Her mother was 89 (I think) when she passed away, and at that point, had spent about 5 years in a nursing home and was completely incoherent much of the time. Dad was only 76 when he passed away last year, but he had major health problems with multiple co-morbidity issues (several various things that in and of themselves could - and did - take his life). Mom is relatively healthy other than the obvious joint, incontienence and breathing problems caused by her obesity, which hampers her mobility greatly.

Mom's best friend will turn 75 in a couple of weeks, and just goes, goes, goes! She's on a plane to see her daughter in another state, then she's babysitting her great-grandkids, then she's off on a road trip to a friend's wedding, and she is employed part-time as a "classroom grandma" at a local elementary school. My mom, by contrast, sits here in the house day after day, and only goes out if I take her somewhere...she can no longer drive because she can't get herself in and out of the vehicle - so her independence is completely gone. She couldn't do the classroom grandma thing, because she requires too much assistance with her mobility, and her patience for dealing with young children is also gone - she doesn't tolerate them very well for longer periods of time. She won't even go outside to sit on the deck in the sunshine unless I push her to do so. She is completely happy just sitting here vegetating in the house - which is why I push her to do more - go outside, walk up and down the wheelchair ramp at least once a day to keep her legs moving, just get herself moving a bit and get out of that darn chair now and then!
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Well Hubby and I have had a grand time at my godson's wedding. Enjoying spending time with friends and family.
My sister and her friend are minimizing contacting me about dad. They did take dad to the assisted living place he is moving into tomorrow and asked what if he doesn't like it there? But he probably doesnt remember
saying that . I am sure I will get all the details later today when back home.
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Susan you Mom is sooo young that is so scary. I am 75 and will probably drive five hours alone to visit eldest daughter to give myself a break.

Sodonewithsal. POD took me all day to work out but I think it is "post op day #2"
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Texarkana, I hope you feel better soon. Pain meds rock! I thoroughly enjoyed them when I had titanium plates screwed into my spine after a horse fell on me three years ago. (Don't worry, the horse was fine.)
What is Pod #2? It has a sci-fi sound to it.
Kazzaa, MIL just turned 81. Apparently if you make it that far, you'll live d*mn near forever. If she were to fall down the stairs and break her neck tonight, I'd not only do a hula, I'd twerk like a crazy woman.
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