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Ugh!! Just want Mom to take a shower stress free!

Just do it already!
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I have also heard that caffeine is a trigger but know it is also supposed to help and you are right, it is such an individual thing that some things may help one which may adversely affect someone else...Caffeine does seem to help mine and I love coffee so that is a good thing...when mine are really bad...which if I have one at all they are really bad, but it is strange, things like salty greasy things actually help me...and Coke...french fries and coke help me more than anything else...crazy but true...I know when the pain subsides even in the slightest it is such a blessing....and that is where I am now...it has subsided just enough that I am not nauseated now and no chest pain at present...thank God!!!!! And stress does seem to be the biggest trigger for me and so being a caregiver would seemingly be the job where you will certainly have them, if you are prone to them at all....I feel for anyone who has them...and to those who don't and toss out the casual, just relax a minute or two and it will go away....they just don't have a clue...My best remedy....eat a small amount of salty carb type food like fries and a coke...make sure I am wearing no binding clothing...be in a dark cold quiet room....and sleep if possible..unfortunately, caregiving doesn't lend well to any of that.... you all have my thoughts and prayers....
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Dear fellow migraine suffers. Mine started about age 13 and ran the gamet mimicing signs of stroke with nausia and relief only came when I could vomit. Stress plays a big roll and they continue to this day but now I am older , much older I only get the flashing lights and maybe a dull headache because my blood vessels have become less elastic. many foods and things like caffience are said to be triggers but each individual is uniquue so you have to find your own pattern. there are many medications available these days but at my worse i got remarks like 'she's such a nervous little thing" and "well when was your last period" i found that studying for long periods i.e reading - no computers then, would bring one on and working with something with a repetitive patterns like checks and flashing lights were triggers. Allowing my blood sugar to get really low also played a part. I had a fairly long warning period so found the best thing to do was get something high carb to eat and maybe a coke. Although caffiene is a trigger it is also a diuretic so that helps greatly. if you can get your hand on actual diuretics in small doses that is also good. maybe some one can recommend a herbal diuretic. A small amount of alcohol would also help medications work better and get the guts moving again. I would sit propped up in a darkened room and simply rest will it resolved. I could not work because I could not think straight or see properly. I would have to have the correct money for the bus fare because I could not pronounce the words to get to my destination. It was also never taken seriously which was really hard. So yes I feel you pain.
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Oh dear.....I would not doubt it....I do know stress and my negativity brings them on as well, and the pain they bring with them cannot help but be causing damage somewhere...they are getting more and more frequent, more and more severe and needless to say, something that adds that much more difficulty to an already difficult situation. I find it so important to try to remain positive around Mama as when I am not it seems to make her dementia issues so much worse, but with these things it sure is hard to be cheery and perky...I hope yall feel better soon and these things go away...they are murderous....I woke up early early this morning praying it was gone, it was not...I went ahead and got up and fed the cats and checked Mama who thankfully was fast asleep so I took some OTC migraine meds I had on hand and just laid back down and prayed to God to fall asleep again and awake with less pain. So far so good....
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Hope22, several times, I thought if I go to sleep during my migraine attack with the flashing lights (it can last up to 30 minutes),it would go away during my hours of sleeping. No, it did not! I woke up the next morning, and the darn lights started where I left off the previous night! Now, when I get the flashing light attack, I stay awake long enough for it to run it's course. By then, I'm sure you know, I'm soooo miserable with the pain. My doctors prescribed meds for it. You take it when you start seeing the flashing light. But, since I hate taking pills, I never took it.

But truly, you need to go and get meds for your severe headaches. They've done studies and found that people who have migraine headaches, and did Nothing to ease the pain, it was damaging their brain cells. Has to do with the lack of blood flow in the brain. Therefore, they're linking those with migraines and with dementia.
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I have a migraine too. Started as a dull headache yesterday. I really understand your pain Hope. I have been so grumpy and negative the last few days ...maybe that is what brought it on for me. Took some excederin.
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Have had a migraine ...again...all day long...and now into the night...one of the "good ones" accompanied with chest pains, leg cramps, eye twitch which drives me insane and flashes of light ...they are coming more and more frequently these days....I have tried to fight them, to keep going to see if I face them down they will go away...they don't..just makes them worse...can't sleep but that's what i need most...complain, complain..gripe, gripe...thanks for letting me vent...
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Bookluvr - wet is better than that smelly brown stuff, eh? That's my whine for today - it began early and is all spic and span now and will be for about two days and we begin all over again. But, you know, that is one of the things he is thankful for - that I clean him up. He does thank me (that lady who drops by once in a while) profusely and apologizes for his lateness to the bathroom, etc; and that he is useless and no help - just a nuisance. It must be AWFUL for him and I can sympathize with him, wishing I could boost his morale more...
'Better get me some more immodium - unless there's something you can suggest that works better..

Our Memorial Day visit to our daughter's had its ups and downs. He never knew which bathroom to use. I had to follow him around with his walker (no hand rails there) to every room, hoping he would not trip over one of their adorable puppies. We cut the trip short one day and it took three days before he began to feel comfortable at home. He wanted his son, who was here using our garage, to thank those ladies (another daughter and me) who brought him home for all their help (gas station stop in a hurry, etc.) He knew he needed them to help him out. We accepted his thanks..
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I'm tired of cooking too! My husband doesn't cook (rarely only if it's going to be on the grill), my stepdaughter...absolutely useless! And she's 31! no job, no drivers license..been living with us for almost 2 years. Makes me totally insane. She is such a mooch and a suck up to my husband. The only thing she does is the dishes (yes we have a dishwasher) but she'll unload it occasionally, clean the big pots and pans after dinner. But really...has she picked up a broom, swiffer, vacuum for the rest of the house? No. All she does is hang out on her computer all day watch movies, do her "work" that my husband gives her--computer coding. I've never in my life met someone who is so LAZY and unmotivated! Ridiculous! Oh and did I mention she has a child who lives with the father in another state...guess who pays the child support...yep that would be my husband! total BS! ok...I've whined enough for today.
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My whine of the day is this...I hate living here with my father. I do. There is a reason adult children especially with families of their own, no longer live with their parents. I hate this whole setup. My father's caregiver brings her child to work constantly. Before it was once in a while, now its at least a couple of times per week. Hes an adorable little boy, dont get me wrong. But all of the jumping around is very distracting. Im in the basement and its like a ton of bricks being dropped on my head. She doesnt even ask if its okay to bring him. Nor does she tell him to stop jumping around. Anytime we eat anything she acts if she intended to use or cook it. Last night she cut up pineapple and left it in a dish. We ate the rest of it so of course she starts trouble first thing in the morning. No one needs that crap. This is our home and I feel like an outsider ! Not that my father cares. If anyone showed disrespect to my sister, they would be shown the door. With me Im nothing more than a maid living in the basement so he allows his caregiver to run the show and says nothing.
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57twin, sorry, I didn't mean to laugh about the wet around the toilet. yuck....
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My spider sense kicked me awake last night. I fumbled for the lamp and dad was in our bedroom again at the edge of the bed. Told him wrong room and he made his way back to his bedroom. I then got up to go to the bathroom and the floor was wet around the toilet.
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My "whine" of the day is having one of those bad summer colds where your throat is sore and you are congested and feel like you are about to fall out and there is no one to help with all the caregiving but me , myself, and I. I am so afraid Mama will catch this, she may already have it, but caregiving is hard enough and then when you get sick on top of that...it is almost more than I can take...I am so exhausted...even more than normal...this is the worst feeling in the world. I am so used to being one of those tough people who can do it all, handle it all, take it all and keep going...how did I become this weak....?????
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My grandmas too dependent on me, wastes her money, wastes my time......in all honesty it would be easier of she lived closer to me or was in a home.. I can't work on all her things AND mine. I work at a bank.. my hours are virtually the same as a doctor's office. Not only that, HER doctor is a couple of towns away. Timing makes everything difficult. How am I ever suppose to get anything done in a reasonable amount of time??
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JeanetteB, that's funny.. you made me smile big! 57twin... My DH told me that he had shut all the sliders (6) on our porch last night. He had forgotten to turn out the lights, which I discovered before bedtime, but did not discover that one of the sliders (four foot wide) was left open during our half inch wind/rain storm until this morning! The wind must have been from the other side of the porch, since our carpeting was dry this AM. It could have been a mess.. But He gets an 'A+' for the effort. Those sliders are 25 years old and heavy..

'Going to pour my 'wine' now (or maybe something stronger!) and get ready for my nightly read after tucking my lovey into bed. Lucky me! ' Love you people!
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My "whine" moment is, I've been abstaining from "wine". Not helping!
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57twin - I guess I'm an eternal optimist (at least at times) - could be worse - he could have OPENED the windows in the dead of winter or when it was raining, instead of closing them! :-)
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We actually had a warm humid day yesterday and dad was in the house while hubby and I did yard work. I came in the house and thought it was really warm which it was as dad had shut all the windows. It was overcast outside so he thought it was going to rain and then rain in the house. *sigh*
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Awww that is so sad JeanetteB when you mention your chest tightening up almost brought me too tears because I feel that way also at times. Sending you lots of hugs!
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Here is my current "whine" moment. I am sure there will be more before the day is over. It is now 30 days since my mother had her bunionectomy(she is already on 160 mg morphine a day for osteoarthritis) so pain control is not her problem. She has already had it okayed by her MD and she went to get her hair done, also went to Costco and shopped for an hour but this AM she just looks like her dog died because she still can't go downstairs to her little art studio because it would require getting around dirt and grass,she is still on antibiotics..I feel bad for her to a point but lets face it there are so many others on this site that have greater problems than they can't go to their art studio.Her mind is her ownworse enemy. She doesn't have dementia,just a narcissis that is feeling sorry for herself today ,so I am staying in my room and trying not to get to bummed out having to see that hang dog look and there is nothing I can do to make her happy, I am burned to a crisp.
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Seroquil can be a blessing or a disaster as can many meds for the elderly. the only way to find out if it is the right drug is to try it and report and bad side effects immediately
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I need to stay off FB this weekend. All my friends and loved ones back in South Florida are either at the beach, out on a boat or having big back yard cook outs ... my chest is tightening up too much looking and ...worst of all, missing everyone so much
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I was out yesterday and saw a huge RV drive by and was so jealous! All I could think about was how my bro what probably at his vacation home up north and I'm stuck here!

My SIL called to see what we were doing this weekend..
I just told her today was Mom's bday and we were going out, if I try to get together with her she'll have to come here. Then I'll have to do the bbqing and I just don't have it in me!
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ugh, the Holiday weekend for sure has put me in the "whine" mode. Everyone I know is going somewhere, doing something, with someone...Either going on or planning vacations, having cookouts, family is all traveling...everywhere..except here....as usual it will be Mama and me. period. heard the nephew was somewhere but no mention they are coming...if they do it will be a pop in long enough to alleviate your guilt and move on visit...sadly, I'd just as soon they forget it now...it's too late...for me the damage is done
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I think the long Holiday weekend coming up has me in whine mode. I see campers/trailers/RVs all packing up and heading out... I want to go somewhere fun :( but I don't want to go alone :(((

My oldest brother just sent me a text saying he'd watch mom tomorrow...I can't refuse that offer now can I ? I just wish I had something fun to go do and someone fun to do it with.

What most likely will end up happening is me doing a thorough clean in her room and the house while she's out... it's so hard to do when she's following me around redoing what I just did.
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Thanks Overwhelm!
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lost my temper with my dad today. First he was up and dressed by 6:15. Didnt have a chance to enjoy my coffee. Asked him why up so early as it used to be 8-8:30. Perhaps since windows open a bit and he hears the birds? Anyhow had to finish plant shopping for my customers. Carried the flats put of trunk except for one that I soryed out for a customer I was going to plant this am. Carried unwanted ones to my potting shed and sorted out some others I had there to take to customer and when I went to put in trunk they were gone. I had told my dad to go in house and wait 15-20 min so I could get my planted sorted and car loaded then he could come with me but no he is messing with a tarp I put by car and did not know where plants went. I looked in open garage, the house over 20 min before I found the flat on the patio. He of course doesn't remember putting them there. I still haven't found the small bag of grass seed I bought monday either. ack!!!!
Good news is he is going to respite care next friday for the weekend and I just hired a girl to dad sit on occasional weekends so that will help.
The wine also helps!:)
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Hi SusaA43 you were having a really rough day that happens to me to soon I sit down I hear her getting up! Sending you lots of love, music is the best it helps me mellow 70's. station is my favorite.
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I love this forum.I hate to "whine" because so many others on here have it so much worse than me and handle things with grace.However,here is my whining today. I have now had to remove all meds from my mothers room due to her depressing behavior and emotional outbursts,basically temper tantrums. Not afraid of her committing suicide, she loves herself to much, just felt better removing them from her room. Well , this now adds one more thing I have to do for her.Also apparently I never do anything right. I guess I am just having compassion burnout. I have seen so many other people in much worse circumstances than her. I guess that is one of the problem's. She has never really seen how bad things can get for a senior when they have no one that can take care of them or even care about them. I am an only child and at firstthought that was a bad thing but after reading so many of the stories on this site I am beginning to see that being an only child might not be so bad.She doesn't have dementia, she is just a controlling narcissistic person and now because of old age and health problems can no longer control,just yell about it. I do get tired of her whining, just this week I took her to 3 MD appointments. She sees the MD more than I do. If I ever get as old as her I just hope I remember to thank anyone who does anything for me and if I am in my right mind to be realistic about old age. We are all aging and dying, no one is getting any younger. Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die.Caregivers take care of yourselves.
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I'm whining about the weather this morning. It's dank and dark and dreary and putting me in a crappy frame of mind. Meh.

Jeannette - what dose has the neurologist put your mom on? MIL has been taking Seroquel for a little over a year now and it's been very helpful. Her neurologist started her out on a VERY low dose - just 12.5 mg at bedtime to see how she'd tolerate it, and she did great. If the dose is fairly low to start with give it a try, keep a close watch for any aberrant behaviors, and see how it goes. I've read some negative stuff about it too, but everyone is different. Just wanted to share a positive one.

book - if there was ever a legitimate excuse to whine you've found it!! YUCK!!!!!!!
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