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My first whine here...it's been bugging me for weeks.
For someone who works full time and does the "dirty" work of changing pampers by herself, I am soooo tired of cleaning the darn toilet bowl! I can clean it today, and then when I come home for lunch the next day, someone (not dad) did #2 and did not flush twice so that all of it goes away. Now poop is stuck on the bowl that's above the water level. A few days of trying to not to clean the bowl (hoping sis would do it since I didn't make that mess), I cave in. I come home the next day at the end of work, and...the toilet bowl is back with the poop stuck on the sides. Tonight, I'm cleaning the toilet again.

Why?!?! Why do grown ups (including my nieces and their spouses) do not flush twice to get the poop off the wall? If that doesn't work, there's like 2 plastic sponge bath tubs and 2 tupperware bowls that can be used to "help" rinse the poop down when you flush it the 3rd time. Am I the only one in this family who gets grossed out over seeing poop on the side walls of the toilet bowl????
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2 Days ago I took Mom to her Neurologist Appt. The Neuro prescribed Seroquel. It is now Thursday and their so called "Escript to our pharmacy has not come through. Two phone calls later... they just called. The script was routed 400 miles away.

That alone gives me the heebiejeebies about Seriquel ... I read up about in on AC. :( i can pick it up tomorrow.. we shall see.

I am not happy about this. It's just the "Sundowners" and the occasional outburst. Really... Im not sure about drugging her up. Crud!
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Iwill search online about the lenovo
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Glad- if I type a word not familiar to the kindle it will give me the option to double tap it to put in my dictionary. But if I type in a hurry without proofreading words get changed. I would like a tablet though. I think it would be easier.
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SM this lenovo tablet is so cool. Absolutely no auto correct, rather it tries to figure out what I am typing and will make suggestions that I can tap to enter a word.
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Sorry my kindle and autocorrect.
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Yaya-have you the ads for art security? You could have a security system put in where you can check the house online or on your cell. The ad shows patents checking on their tern age daughter making sure she has no boys over LOL! You pay an installation fee and a monthly payment. There was another poster who lived with her mother with dementia. She installed cameras so she could get a little time to herself but still see what her mom was doing.
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Oh, yaya you have to see that movie. LOL There are 2 of them actually - Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men. Both have Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon and Burgess Meredith in them, and Ann-Margaret is in the first one, Sophia Loren is in the second. Both hilarious and heartwarming movies.

Oh the tricks they played on each other...holy cow.
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Jeannette and Susan - I'm dying here! LOL! Haven't seen the movie but I can picture the scene.

Unfortunately (in more ways than one..heheh) the distance would probably be too far for it to work. We're about 1/4 mile from her with woods in between houses. Plus she has no internet/wifi service, nor can she afford it. A great idea though!

I've thought more than once about how helpful it would be to have some kind of video suveillance system setup - like a nanny cam. But aside from grappling with the moral/ethical reservations I have over "spying" on her, the cost of setting something like that up would probably be prohibitive. *sigh*

The "evil" side of me, however, does find the entertainment potential intriguing......
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LOL!!! Exactly! Just saw it the other day.... ZAP, channel changed - ZAP - ZAP. one of my fav shows!

You can open your garage door, turn lights on, tv, water etc... all from wherever in the world you are to your house. Hmmm.... it might just be something to look into... for several reasons ;)
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Jeanette - your comment about the remote for yaya's MIL reminds me of the movie Grumpy Old Men - ever see it? I'm thinking specifically of the scene where one of them has a tv remote and keeps switching the other's tv as he's trying to catch the lottery numbers (they live next door to each other). LOL

Could be helpful to yaya but could also be an evil, vindictive way to drive MIL nuts.
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Thank you so much, Jeanette! I have so many stories to tell, but finding the time is the problem. If I ever find the time, I'll probably be too old to remember them.

Guess I better start writing soon.
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Susan, can't wait to read those amazing 2 accomplishments!! Your writing is awesome. Really, I love reading your posts! If only I could get my thoughts out into words....mine seem to stay as brilliant thoughts in my head and confused jumbling when I try and write it out.

Yaya, how far does MIL live? I bet you can find some sort of remote control App that can be installed and then you'd just have to push a button and voila' TV is on again...all from the comfort of your own bed!!
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OH my goodness, yaya! That must be maddening.

Thanks for the compliment. I'm a frustrated writer with no time to write. LOL I have a million stories inside my head just clamoring for release, but no time to put them down. One of these days...

Amazingly, I have 2 accomplishments to post to Captain's thread today. Immediately after I posted my whine above, 2 amazing things happened. I'll have to share them later.
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Susan - Love it! Hilarious and well written!........and I feel your pain.

My whine for today.....getting called at 2:00 AM not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES in a row (our hellos never got a response) as hubs and I are scrambling to wake up, get dressed (more or less), grab the car keys, run out to the car in the dark of night and race over to MIL's....adrenaline pumping....questions racing through out minds - did she fall out of bed? Is she hurt?....only to get there and find her lying peacefully, calmly in her bed. What's wrong? hubs asks her. "My TV went off. I can't get it turned back on again." REALLY??!!!

I confess...I lost it a little. I'll appologize to her later, but her HHA comes to wash and dress her this morning so for now I'm going to just sit here and enjoy my coffee (and my rant) and attempt to collect myself.

Then maybe later, after I apologize, I'll post it as my "Accomplishment" for today on Captain's thread.
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(while the above was written in jest, I'm sure you get the picture. )
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I am starting to feel like a prisoner keeping a diary...

Day 4
Captor refuses to shower. House reeks of b.o. and urine, and whenever she moves (which is rarely), the intense odor increases, causing me to nearly gag. I try to open windows to increase ventilation - she counters this move by demanding I close them and turn the heat up, thereby stifling me in this odorous, closed-in space. She sees my discomfort but says nothing - heartless. She constantly increases the volume on the television, making it impossible to concentrate on anything - and when I am able to gain control of the remote and turn it down (or off) when she's sleeping, she wakes up and insists I turn it back on - or that I turn it back up - and then goes back to sleep! Torture. There must be a law against this sort of treatment.

She sleeps...but wakes immediately upon my having completed a task and returned to my seat to begin my work....and demands that I get back up and retrieve something for her from the next room, or make her a snack - things she could easily do herself, but requires of me instead.

I must escape. But how? I have no allies, no confidants who will come to my aid. They abandoned me when I entered this place, saying they had lives of their own and couldn't help me. I cannot even count on my government to intervene on my behalf.

I must remain strong. I will.
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I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
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To all the ranters and ravers out there! I SO HEAR YOU ALL!! I feel guilty when I get upset with dad due to not showering, always wanting something just as I have to go to work or am in the middle of something. I am so sick of Fox news all day long or the old westerns he watches and when I find something I like he talks thru the entire program! Told him he will have a room w/tv, fridge and all the necesseties so I can have some semblance of life also. He is dying and once we get to our new place I think he will give up. I'm sure he sees how hard I work and feels he's a burden..he is but its what I have to do and its really not as bad as it sounds sometimes. I am overly stressed, need ME time and some sort of outside fun because this is so frustrating to watch someone who is so sick smoke & drink & not eat well though there is plenty of good food around. He is lazy & chauvinistic...always has been. But my pity side is with him and I try to do the best I can. Would go outside & scream but neighbors would come running!! LOL! So, its ok to complain and feel burdened but its not ok to ignore their needs and that's what makes it frustrating because they are sooooo needy and incapacitated to care for themselves. I will be sad when hes gone but will be grateful I was able to be here when no one else would. Its such a 2 sided thing this caregiving. Told my kids to put me in a home or if I get that bad just know I will go out into the woods and end it, saving everyone a lot of pain & frustration. Hang in there everyone cuz one day we will miss them terribly! Love and Hugs to all!!
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Showers are a real problem here too. My husband grew up with a sister who monopolized the only bathroom. Mom and Grandma used the kitchen and the three males in the family used a makeshift garden hose shower and the laundry tubs in the basement.

Not too much incentive for the guys to be too particular. Thus, my husband never really liked a shower and used the hand bowl for most of his cleanliness. Now, I can just barely get him to do that. And a bath or shower - heaven forbid. "I haven't done anything to get dirty - why a shower so often (like once a week, at most?)

I am responsible for keeping the nether regions clean due to lack of control and poor balance, but a complete bath with shampoo - never without complaint. It's gotta' be today - putting my foot down! There! Now, I'm committed....
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ARRRGHHH. I have been trying *very* hard to remain upbeat lately, but when my workload increases, the dishes pile up (because the workload increased), the laundry piles up, the dog bugging to be let out 10 times a day, the cat bugging me for treats, and then MOM having this uncanny ability to either want something or wake up from a nap and need something at the very moment I've just sat down and settled into work....EEEEEEEK! My temper is *very* short today and I'm really wanting to just lock myself in my room with my laptop so I can get some work done! (That would work, but then I'd be staring at the pile of laundry, because I sleep in the spare bedroom/laundry room.)

(sigh) ok. Rant over. Time to put on my headphones, turn on some music and try to make a dent in this pile of work. Oh wait...what's that smell....darn. Oh gee...it's Mom...again. Shower day was yesterday, and she still hasn't showered and resists all gentle nudging by me to do so. Time to play the bad guy again - which I HATE - and tell her the smell is bad in the house and she is the source. :-( It's effective - usually gets her to shower and she exclaims how much better she feels afterwards - but just getting her to do it...ugh.
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Yeah... I think it is harder for daughters to tend to our fathers. They do treat us daughters differently. We adore them differently. Least I did :) Before my father passed, he worked my a** off trying to make him comfortable to pass into the other life. Shhh... take your time. If dad is on hospice it means ....well,, you know. My dad agreed to hospice 2 days before he passed. I was sleeping with him by that time to help his demons. Things a daughter is not supposed to see.

HEY!! I lived. It is ok. The Hospice peeps called it "furniture skiing" Who Knew?

A two week vacation? Oh Yea! I'm down...who is parent sitting?

.
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My whine moment......dad is getting worse. Has copd severe with sluggish heart. Partlycuz he take his albuterol nebulizer then heads right out to the garage to smoke! What the heck? He was told in January to quit smoking and no salt or processed foods. He eats tuna w/crackers, pkged meats, salami, French bread w/margarine and diet pepsi! He complains I don't cook enough red meat & potatoes w/gravy. Well he's unhealthy and I try to health him up but get so much complaints that sometimes I let him eat whatever!. He naps twice a day and when he gets up at 8 or 9 pm its a big bowl of ice cream w/choc syrup. Or he eats choc bars like they were crackers! No matter what I do to help, he does the opposite. I am tired of being treated like a teenager at 58 and tired of being told what I can and cannot do! Told him today that I don't know why mom stayed with him when he is so overbearing. She passed in 1993 of lung cancer and u think he wouldn't want to have the same happen to him and be more careful? Nope. He always says "I've ate this or that or did this for the past 80 years...blah blahblah" and I try to tell him that certain things are making his health worse. We're moving 1200 miles away to a better climate and I am now wondering if he can even make the trip! I have no one to send him to so I can make the drive with our things so he has to go along for the ride. Hospice is helping now getting us the 02 he'll need and meds but they say "good luck". His feet are swollen even with Lasix and he has looked so tired and worn these past 2 wks and I've been doing all the packing!! Not to mention taking care of him and his meds, meals, laundry, dishes and working part time! I am beyond stressed and I am just hoping he goes soon as I cant do this any more! Its like a liver transplant patient having a few shots to celebrate the new liver! Whats the point? Hes 85, 40% kidney function, 25% 02 saturation in blood, bp of 102/52, HR of 42 and has lost 15 lbs in 2 months. He can barely walk due to swollen feet and can only make pots of coffee, pour drinks and slice French bread. He doesn't pick up cans, or plates or cups and waits for me to do it. His life is meds and Fox news (hate that) and naps. I don't take him anywhere anymore cuz he wont wear his 02 and his levels drop so fast that its not worth it. Thankful so much we have Hospice!! No more doc appts or going anywhere. This is worse than when I raised twins alone!!! So thts my whine for today. I cold go on but it stresses me to even talk about it anymore. I just need a break for a week or so and that doesn't look promising. Pray that I can handle this and not be so angry with him. Trying but it isn't working so well. Anyone want to give me a 2 wk vacation all expenses paid? LOL! Hope everyone understands. I don't and am aging more quickly than I had anticipated. God bless us all!!
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crying...couldn't have said it better myself...today has been one of "those" days.....the ultimate cruel roller coaster for sure
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These stories help me so much as I am full time care of Mom no relatives no help. Hospice started and that helps a lot. Will be with my mom till the end, no more hospitals. I love her so very much and it is so hard for me seeing her like this.

yup got the guilts,the tears, the hopefuls then the not hopefuls, emotional roller coaster is an understatement..Thank you all for sharing.

Linda
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Keep in mind, this is just a "whine" topic. It is hard dealing with this, but, it's not any harder than what others are dealing with. I am happy y'all understand and not judge. Not berating or being mean.. just saying...wow....I try so hard and she is a PISS ANT!

Mom told the Neurologist off today... why? Well, when we left I said "she's a feisty old lady ain't she"? The doc laughed.......... OMG You are taking up for HER and not listening to me!!! Sigh....

Lots of love to all of us dealing with this... it is not easy.

She is now full of love and does not remember being a nasty cranky old feisty b*tch

double sigh
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Will she ever stop asking
Do I have my purse?
Did I forget something? Always thinking about the purse
Where is my purse?
Arrgghhh
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Wow I feel for you must be hard dealing with all that extra stress on top of everything maybe with your cell phone record all the questions she needs to ask the Doctor before you go then just play them so they can be answered as for her accusing you of beating her that must be tough to go through and getting up at night with bizarre thoughts, I can't imagine. Maybe record her when she comes up with these outrageous delusions. Lots of love your way god bless you for being such a tenderhearted person.
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I haven't whined in quite awhile. I think I am due...

Mom has been declining at an alarming pace? Either that or I've been really blind.... the hallucinations started a few weeks ago. Up all hours of the night wandering the house thinking there is people in there trying to kill her.... running telling the police men ( they know she's got AZ) that I beat her... oh man...

Today she had her Neurologist appt. GOOD GOD you'd thought I was committing her!... no Ma, just a check up to make sure the patch is doing its thing. Nope, she sat there, arms folded, eyes in death slits... told the Neurologist I was just trying to get her committed and I was lying about everything. The Dr just smiled and told her that I was just trying to keep her safe. Prescribed her Seroquel ... sigh. It would be easier to have a private consult with the doc vs. describing all that goes on in front of her. SHE FORGETS!! 20 minute drive to docs, 40 questions about where we are going. 40 answers all the same. YET, I never told her.
I took her to the little mall afterwards so we could walk around and window shop and have a nice lunch. NOPE! She wouldn't get out of the car.... after much persuasion she managed to get out...but then walked ten feet behind me. Every time I stopped, she stopped and glared. If I came close to her, she'd make that hissing noise. really? She hasn't spoke to me all day (whew)

So... my whine is; why do I get so mistreated for doing my best for her and my brothers get all the Disney Dad Glory?

Mom IS going to daycare 3 times a week.... after the seroquel kicks in.

Bedtime yet?
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