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They could make fast cash for a couple days work.
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Maybe they are hoping for more permanent work Glad.
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Laziness? There is a FB community bulletin board where people are looking for jobs right now as they urgently need cash. I post on it this morning that I need garden clean up and weeding. You would think that there would be many responses. Nope! Only one so far! Too hard of work?
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Geeeeez, it seems like it is one thing after another regarding my DH.

He had minor surgery. We were told that it went well.

Then Easter evening he started running a fever. The nurse who answered the 24 hour calls said to go to the ER.

The ER doctor ran test and put him on antibiotics. He was sent home with scripts for antibiotics too.

Now he is saying that he has seen blood in the toilet after using the bathroom.

His follow up appointment is in early May.

He sent a message to his doctor on his portal.
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Oh gosh, it’s seems like it’s one thing after another.

My DH’s digestive system hasn’t been normal since he had his surgery. Then Easter evening a fever set in. He was sent home with antibiotics. Now he is telling me that he has seen blood in his stool a couple of times. I asked if it was on the toilet paper only or in the toilet. He said it was in the toilet.

He sent a message to the nurse on his portal. His follow up appointment with his surgeon is in early May.
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Barb, like your DH, my Mom will go off on bunny trails when the doc asks her questions. So now I come prepared with a pre-printed note that I discretely hand to the doc which in essense lets them know that my Mom has the beginnings of dementia and loses track of the point and of time, and in order to respect their time I may have to interrupt her and refocus the conversation to get "just the facts".
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Like Way, I had a dementia day. Spent an hour pushing my mother around the home’s neighbourhood, listening to her complaints about how she’s not athletic, yet she has found herself on some community golf team. And signed up for a bridge club. Et cetera. When we got back I whipped out my cell phone and made some very dramatic yet very polite “calls”, explaining how she was unable to play bridge on the assigned evenings due to another commitment, and so on. I then assured her that each team had someone to take her place, but they’d keep her on their substitute player lists in case they were short of players another time.

And behold, the waters were smoothed!

If only it were that easy every time.

Also, my youngest looks a bit like a young Louise Fletcher, so one Hallowe’en she went to school as Nurse Ratched. Nailed the costume! Bwaaaa ha ha ha haaaaaa!
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Dementia Days , ( maybe that should be a thread ?)
Went with DH to talk tough love to FIL about letting staff help him. I played Nurse Rachet . ( movie reference ) . We will see what happens . If this doesn’t work, I give up.
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Barb prayers from me too.
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Barb: Prayers for your DH.
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That nurse will need to learn how to cut through all that or she'll never last, hospitals are too busy and too short staffed for hand holding (nice as that is).
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So, spent this afternoon with DH in the ER with a nosebleed (he's on Warfarin; we have orders from his PCP if a nosebleed doesn't stop in 20 minutes, head to the ER).

The thing is, my dh has always been long-winded. BUT with his MCI (mind cognitive impairment), it's gotten cringingly worse.

We made it through triage quickly and a lovely young nurse comes in to take his history. 10 minutes into him telling the story of how his aortic aneurysm was discovered after a stressful day at work where his boss yelled at him (telling the story of the chiro he went to the day before, his PCP the next day, the cardio doc the day after, the stressful family party...).

After I interrupted, told her what she needed to know and she left he said to me "was that too long?"

I told him all they needed was the FACT that he had an artifical valve and a Dacron aorta. He was shocked to find out that they didn't want to know WHY he had an aortic aneurysm. The next person who came in asked why he was on blood thinners. He told her "just the facts"--artificial valve, replaced aorta, on Warfarin for 15 years.

He seemed truly shocked that it was that simple.

All in all, it was only a 4 hour visit. His last nose bleed was a three day admission, so I really have nothing to whine about.

Maybe we made some progress!
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@ Glad, That would have been a spot on guess if we were talking about my late narcissist Norwegian mother who I ( slaved) cared for . Yes , I grew up in a stoic household too !! . FIL is not Norwegian . He just doesn’t want his “ independence taken away “. I just don’t have the bandwidth to deal with the constant loop . I’m at the point where if he dies of butt sores so be it .
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Is it that stubborn norska in him? To say nothing of norska stoicism. There are a few of us here that also grew up with it.
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Uggh . Dementia Days. 😭😭. FIL in AL being more difficult again. Since he got back from rehab he thinks he’s independent . Got a phone call , he’s Not allowing staff to help him and kicked lab tech out of his room . I’m so done with this man .
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way and anyone else trying squats, I'm not an Eva doing 100 a day several times a week. I never did more than 10 squats a day and usually divided into 3 sets of 3-4. As long as I was not sore I did them most days a week. With CFS/FM I have some pretty severe limits, but I still got the benefits of stronger muscles, better mobility and painless joints. I have had long periods where I didn't do any, but took them up again when I felt like it. It still pays off.

glad - hope the stretching is helping

need - huskies are hard work to walk

ana - those kitties can be a bit destructive but they do walk themselves.

One thing I will pass on, as even at 85 I don't have much in the way of joint problems, is that I eat an anti inflammatory diet. Inflammation causes problems of all sorts.

I don't eat the white stuff - sugar, bread, baked goods and try to stay away from processed foods - i.e. cook from scratch. I do eat foods with antioxidants - berries , dark chocolate, tea, coloured veggies, don't eat as much red meat as poultry, eat nuts and seeds, very few grains, (a few slices of bread a month), no dairy (I am allergic to dairy and gluten) and use spices more and more. And of course, don't smoke or drink alcohol.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/quick-start-guide-to-an-antiinflammation-diet#:~:text=To%20fight%20inflammation%2C%20go%20for,cinnamon%2C%20ginger%2C%20and%20turmeric.

'To fight inflammation, go for whole, unprocessed foods with no added sugar: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes (beans, lentils), fish, poultry, nuts, seeds, a little bit of low-fat dairy, and olive oil. "To these, many people add herbs and spices like cinnamon, ginger, and turmeric."'

and

The evidence that trying to minimize inflammation through dietary changes reduces the risk of diseases "is strongest for arthritis, gastrointestinal and heart health, and possibly auto-immune diseases,"...

Something to think about if we want a healthy old age. I am sure it has helped me stay healthy.
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Our kitty has done more damage in our house than seven Great Danes. Scratcher of wood, ripper of window screens, shredder of carpet and murderer of plants. My husband complains that his reading glasses go missing. I just walked into kitchen as she batted a pair off the table. 🤬

Fortunately we walk our dogs off leash, on our own land. Or I’d have muscles like Hulk.
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Temps in the 80's today, broke the record. Expecting another day like this tomorrow. Yuck! The down to 40's maybe snow. 😀😀

I am not ready for summer! I hate it!

I have been in PT for several weeks for this IT band syndrome. Was doing mostly stretching until Monday. Was on the squat machine, geez I am sore! So out of shape!
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Way,

Cats are so much easier than dogs!
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Need,

That’s why I have a cat ! She walks herself to the litter box.
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I have discovered that I cannot walk my daughter’s Siberian Husky. He pulls so hard and the last time I walked him he had his eyes fixated on a squirrel and a bird a couple of feet ahead of me. I had to hold on with all of my might to keep him from chasing them. He is incredibly strong!

My daughter gets a workout just walking him daily!
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Golden,

You will have to tutor Way on how to do squats correctly! LOL 😆

Gosh, I don’t have any room to talk! I haven’t done any squats lately. I would probably be sore too.
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way - Ouch!!! Gently does it. Rest for a couple of days now and then only do a few and not too far down! You'll get there!
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OWWWW. My Knees.
Thanks to Golden squats 🙄😂😭
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Dgjason - you probably are burned out. I would think that 24/7 caregiving at your age would burn anyone out. It burns out many who are much younger than you.

Isn't it time your wife was placed in a facility where others can care for her and you can visit her and become just her husband again?

Medicaid is available for those who don't have the funds for private care. Why not contact your local Agency for Aging and see what resources they can offer you. You need some support.

Stick around here. There are many people with good ideas. Wishing you and your wife all the best.
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DgJason,

Have you contacted Council on Aging in your area?

They will do a needs assessment of her needs. If she qualifies for help, you will receive a set amount of caregiver hours per month.

They will help bathe her, get her dressed, prepare meals and do light housekeeping.

Or better still, look into placing her in a facility. You can visit as her husband and be free from the hands on caregiving.
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Dgjason,

Is it possible to have some help come in so you get some respite ?

So sorry . This has to be very difficult for you .
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I understand. I’m 80 and basically the lone caregiver of my 79 year old wife of 60 years. She does not walk or speak. She knows what is going on but gives me a hard time for everything. Today I felt burned out after I gave her breakfast and she refused to let me change her wet diaper. I have been doing this for 2 years.
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Barb, happy news about your daughter. Pam-glad you didn't get too sick. I had a + test 2 years ago, no fever and felt kinda crummy for a few days.
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Barb, that’s such good news!
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