I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I fully understand that she might be giving herself some "love" diversion that is safe in that they are not in the same country, that she shares a love of something, albeit Star Trek. I just wonder if that's something I would share with my Mom. I might tell a friend. But I mean, I would expect the worst reaction out of my Mom.
To me, our kids grow up and have to have their own lives, their own families or not, their own successes and failures, even their own illnesses. I pretty much can gladly accept that.
If my daugher (61) came to me with that story I guess I would say "Oh. Is that so". I mean she's a bit old for me to be giving advice to unless she writes the Forum.
I sure would be here fast, though, ha ha. So I get the venting.
My theory on our kids is always ALWAYS don't overreact. It goes South from there and they get pushed into their corners and don't think about what they are doing, but rather think about how to respond to YOU. When I was an RN one evening shift my late teen (then) daughter showed up at the nurses station with purple hair. I just looked and said "Wow, it is a great color with your eyes!" Actually it was. Made then a really intense hazel. Purple hair was then unusual; today not so much. When she left, Dr Fong said "Gee, you handled that OK. I would have gone off like a bomb". I just said "That would make it worse. "
All I can say is next time she lets you know this say "Great! Going to make for some good stories on AC"!!!! Hee hee.
Golden, loved your post.
My feeling is that when you have a minor child, you have to make sacrifices/compromises to protect/benefit/raise that child.
She seems to think that because her dad and I can be at family events together and cooperate for family holidays/babysitting grandkids and the like, she and her current husband will enjoy the same cordially and family support--immediately.
She doesn't see that MY family would sooner lie in $hit than ever talk to my ex again. And that all that cordiality is due to radical ego-less-ness on my and his new wife's part.
I wish there was some way to help her. I feel very powerless and sad.
Thanks for your feedback, Golden, it helps.
Does she have regular depression. It almost sounds bipolar.
Online relationships can work. I know a few which have, but there are many which are disasters.
Not much you can do for her really, if she is not open to a mother-daughter chat.
Glad you can be supportive of your sil.
I actually know a gal, like know her reasonably well, who met a guy while playing a farm game on face book. She is Canadian and he is American. They hooked up. She moved to the US and they have been happily married for some years now. And, yes, he is a farmer and she is now too and loving it.
I have little to no agency in this situation, except to encourage my son in law to go to therapy, which he is doing as of tomorrow.
Just need to vent amongst you guys and hope for the best.
I thought the same with my oldest daughter, divorced about 6 years ago now. She was ready to have a beau just move in with her, that was a couple of years ago. This last summer she was going to sell her home as she was marrying someone else. Did they marry, yes, they seem a good match, but why marry in this day and age especially if you are independent?
She did finally decide to rent her home out. He is a realtor and property manager so he takes care of all that needs to be done. Nice setup and I really hope this relationship works out for her.
While being supported by her husband, she tells me "I am no longer romantically involved with B (her husband). But I have met someone online in California and he wants to meet you (via Zoom).
I feel better having typed that out.
LOL! In my neighborhood most homes have landline jacks. The builders stopped putting them in a number of years sgo. I checked into a landline a couple of years ago because I wanted wired internet service. My internet service was wireless from Viaero and was awful; It would be out sometimes for days at a time! It would have cost $900 just to dig the trench to bring the line to the house. That is when I discovered Verizon wireless internet was available for me.
Bad thing is when fiber finally comes in, a trench will need to be dug then.
I was able to dump Viaero (which has an outside antenna, similar to a directv dish)! I couldn't be happier with my Verizon wireless internet service! Well, except for the price. It was $45 a month and is now $65 a month. Verizon does not need the outside antenna. All I have is a cube that sits near the window and is about 5" x5"x5"!
I've noticed young people are starting to get that hunch back look because their neck is bent over viewing their phones.
We have a landline in every room. I refuse to give it up. In case one of us gets a stroke and we are alone in the house, and if one can dial 911, the dispatcher will see our address immediately, and will sent someone out without us saying anything. Plus I like the clarity of the landline phone, it's not tinny like a cellphone.
Then there is cell phone vision syndrome [blue light emission}.... and whole other topic.
The only reason I think I'd want one is to be able to put pictures into my computer with it but I think there's a way to hook up my camera with a cord instead.
Iv'e never liked the phone.
The night my Mother broke her neck,she was racing to answer the phone....
It interrupted so many dinner's and woke me up so many times,etc.
It's annoying, so it's a-ok with me that we don't have one~
I like my new cellphone but today some stupid game downloaded itself to the phone. It's the first thing I see when I check the phone. Eeeeeeek.
We are old! LOL 😆 It’s either ‘catch up’ or we are left out in the cold.
You’re right, we have to adapt to a different and more modern way of doing things.
Sometimes, I miss simplicity. Other times, I like certain changes in how things are done.
I don’t know how anyone would be able to function these days without a phone.
I use to love going to a certain town center, and enjoyed parking outside. Now one needs to park in a parking garage and download an app on one's phone to pay for parking.
Sorry, but with age comes vision issues with dim places, such as the inside of a parking garage. The lighting in these parking garages is terrible. It's like walking into your basement and the only light is a night light. Such garages don't feel safe.
Then instead of getting a parking stub at the gate, you need to use a cellphone instead. Really now, if one doesn't like to use a cellphone, they cannot park. An elder friend of mine had to buy a cellphone just so he could keep enjoying dining at a favorite restaurant.
Mom: I don't know.
Me: Did you like the soup?
Mom: I ate it so I guess. I ate what I wanted.
Me: Mom your tissue box seems lopsided....and it's heavy.
Mom: I told you, I got enough soup. I ate what I wanted. I don't know.
Me: 🧐
Mom: WHAT DESSERT!?!
Me: It's pumpkin pie today, mom. Your favorite.
Mom: (to bath aide) I never get the pie! SHE (pointing to me with her thumb) will make sure you see me with the pie, then as soon as you leave SHE takes it from me and eats it all. Then she throws crumbs on the floor I have to get with my cane and eat. Then she tells everyone I made such a mess.
Me: 🙊(counting down to March 1 move in to board and care)
I have found that Relora helps with anxiety and insomnia. Passionflower tea also. and CoQ10 and a big mug of tea!!!
When I was younger we called them brush wolves, then locals began to call them coyotes (pronounced coy - oats). Today many people insist they are coy wolves or coy dogs, some even think the animals they've seen are wolves... yeah nope, just eastern coyotes