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Venting, you will succeed in focusing on your own life when you can accept that others need to deal with your mother, and accept *how* they deal with her. I wish you clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart!
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Venting Is Back!
(This is Venting) (Some of you know me.) (I lost my password, so I made a new screen name for myself).

Please avoid this message if you like: it’s only negative. I need to vent. I, like trillions of daughters out there, have an abusive Mom. I’m trying to find a way to free myself.

I also suddenly remembered that I had challenged myself weeks ago, to really focus on my own problems, rather than my Mom’s problems. Well, I totally failed.

I wish I knew the way out. I wish you all well. I hope my next message will be positive.
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Sister just called in a tizzy because BIL has covid and she's on her way to test her MIL since she is also reporting feeling unwell and the virus is currently circulating in her apartment building - BIL just spent a day there fixing her TV and didn't mask despite knowing she was not feeling well. She thinks I should get tested but it makes no sense to me to go to out a store to get a test if I may be infectious, you know? Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've got the same runny nose thing the kids had (whatever that is).
Oh, and BIL was supposed to have surgery on a skin cancer next week, that will obviously be cancelled now.
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verystressedout, I can understand that. Yet we need to some times put ourselves into their shoes. Some have reasons for being so grumpy and difficult.

When one gets to an age where they can no longer just hop in the car to head to the mall to shop or meet friends for lunch.

They can no longer enjoy going to the movies [last time my parents went, Mom's hearing aide fell out during the movie]. They stopped going.

One's friends have either moved out of the area or have passed away. My Dad was the last person from his senior high school class.

Also their parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins have passed. The old homestead from the early 1900's sometimes is torn down to make way for something newer like a totally empty lot.

Food we use to enjoy is now tasting weird or has been banned from our diet. One doctor is holding hostage the salt shaker.

Seeing a TV show all the way through is something to celebrate as too many times one falls asleep. Yes, fall asleep even with the TV volume on high. Our ears also age.

Reading books or newspapers become a challenge as we age so do our eyes. I need bright light and a magnifying glass [reading glasses makes me seasick].

Taking a shower or taking a bath feels like a workout one would get from going to the gym.

And if one watches TV ads, heaven forbid someone should show up in public with a wrinkle on their face, crowfeets, laugh lines, etc. showing models in their ads who are only in their meer 40's. Whew, at least grey hair is the rage now, it wasn't a couple of years ago.

Yada, yada, yada.
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I’m thinking about why some elderly parents treat their helping adult child so badly. Examples: abuse; being intentionally difficult; intentionally creating risky situations so problems/emergencies land on you; loading more and more problems on your shoulders, knowing very well you’re already overwhelmed; not asking or caring at all about the consequences on your life; not asking/caring when is it convenient for YOU to solve a particular problem please…

It looks like the behavior of an enemy, not a friend or loving family member.

I’m not saying it’s always the case, but I think some elderly people (very often it’s the mother) are DEEPLY JEALOUS of your youth.

They try to destroy your youth. (By youth, I just mean you’re younger than them).
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cwillie, I ran into the same problem before covid, any time I went into a store, the next day would have a raspy throat. Then the day after it was gone. Could be the HVAC system the store uses, or I am sensitive to the "sizing" used on new clothes.

We still mask up before entering a store. It is weird, as I still feel like I am someone who is about to rob the place any time I put the mask on :P

We've been back and forth for doctor's appointments and lab test, and those places the employees all have on their mask. I have noticed less people going in and out of stores not having masks. If that continues, we could see more folks getting the flu plus some covid cases. Last year flu cases were way down due to masking, etc.
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I just spent two weeks with a little one who could have been the poster child for snotty nosed kids, plus I attended a family friendly festival among thousands of people who have put covid behind them and were not concerned with getting very up close and personal. I've got a little bit of a raspy throat (cold? covid? something else?) so I put on a mask when I stocked up at the grocery store and plan to limit contact with others for a few days🤷‍♀️
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Glad: Get your rest and nutrition. Hugs.💚
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FF, I was just thinking about that the other day. I remember when the instant on tv was such a major breakthrough! I imagine we will get back there again but it will be awhile. After all, how the tv has to figure out where it is!

Feeling a bit better. Body aches not as bad. Just when I think they are gone they are back. Same with the headache and sore throat. It is very strange.
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Remember back in the days if someone called you on the phone and told you "quick turn on the TV", could you quickly do that today?

Last night it took me about 5 minutes to get the TV to finally land on a station. Have to use 2 remotes, and heaven forbid I push the wrong key out of 47 [and that's just one remote], I would need to start all over again..... [sigh].

Where is the KISS principle here?
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Not great yet. Sleeping lots coughing more. But I am able to breathe and taste. I don't think I have ever spent this much time in bed!
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glad - hope you are starting to feel better.

ali -sounds like even a small break might be in order for you.

One more soap opera - R managed to book a bus ticket up here for Friday night. It felt wrong to me (I have taken buses with RA over the years) so I checked and there is no bus Friday night. He doubled checked and they could only say there was a glitch in the system as indeed there is no bus Friday night and he shouldn't have been able to book then. However the good news is he managed to catch a ride up and got here early Saturday afternoon. He is an amazing worker and the house looks like a mini construction site and many jobs are underway. What a relief! Rocky isn't too impressed with all of what's going on in the household but so far she is managing.
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I had some hibiscus tea at my previous office. Might have to order some to have on hand. It did feel like it hit the sore throat in just the right way! Thanks for the reminder ali.

I am able to get out of bed for about 30 minutes until the chills and fatigue send me back to my warm bed.

I have quite the supply of emergen-c that I ordered from Amazon at the start of Covid. I have been drinking it twice daily, until today. It really causes the runs.

Will check out The Boys, just for the heck of it.

Ali, does the college have a job placement assistance program?
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I don't know if it's your cup of tea, Glad, but I love the Amazon series The Boys, and it's my favorite show in a very long time. Superhero/sci-fi genres were never my thing, but this one is different -- it's a witty modern take.

Get better! My go-to is hibiscus tea for everything-sick now, plus generic Emergen-C drinks daily.

I dove straight into work, picking up as many shifts as possible after finishing my B.S. I'm so tired. C'est la vie... for now. I'm dreaming of a real vacation away from it all. (((hugs))) all.
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get well soon, glad!! :) :)
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I could not stay awake for a movie. Fatigue is very real.

But really enjoying Start TV. Lots is great shows,
Crossing Jordan
Cold Case
Unforgettable
Rizolli and Isles
The Closer and more
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Thank you, all. In the days before the test, I was drinking much more water than I usually do, not intentional, just happened. Weird?

Yellowstone marathon this weekend. I am definitely not a marathoner, but will figure out how to add it to my library.
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Glad, rest up with plenty of fluids & sleep. May your symptoms pass quickly! Then a few days of iso can be quite ok.
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Glad: Feel better soon. So sorry that you tested positive. Yes, hope also that you can get medication delivered. Do not venture out to get it.
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Glad, hope you feel better soon. Lay back and find a good book to read or a good movie to watch.
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Oh glad. I am so sorry and just when you have a house showing. Hope your dr can give you something that helps. (((((((hugs))))))
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Feel better, GladI’mhere! I just got over covid myself .

Never got scary but for 3-4 days I was pretty sick, and then some symptoms just PARKED themselves for days. I was advised that recovery would likely be steady but slowwwwwwww which was the case for me and I’m glad someone told me that!

But here’s my whine: I can’teven get covid in peace! Mom had another emergency and on day 4 w/a fever I woke up talking to a frantic sounding paramedic. Thought mom was gonna go and cue the entire day of phone calls and coordination and and and…mom snapped out of it fine and I came out of it emotionally and physically exhausted.

Also I’ve noticed that every time mom has a big emergency I end up schlepping large pieces of furniture. To big moves to this time one bed.

Other part of my whine is my washing machine broke at the beginning of covid….you can imagine the pile of laundry…

Thank you forum for letting me whine! GladI’mHere I hope you have a PEACEFUL recovery!!!
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gladimhere, oh my gosh, hope this covid interruption passes quickly. Will your doctor be able to prescribe the pills that are used to knock this out? Hope your drug store delivers.
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Thought I would be able to escape it totally. No such luck. Everything hurts! Cough headache fever. Tested positive this morning. And naturally a showing on my house scheduled monday. I am.to isolate until Friday if feeling ok. Now i
I am .exhausted time to nap.😨😨
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Frequentflyer, years ago an elderly neighbor contacted us late in the evening to help with their computer. My poor hubby was terribly sick with a summer cold, told them he would help but, they would have to stay clear.

We showed up to Gil handing my honey a hot drink. Said, "I know you don't drink but, you are going to drink this". Okaaaay!

Next morning, hubby says he hasn't slept so well in a week, no coughing he could remember all night and ALL of the congestion was gone.

Of course, we have to find out what he was given. It was hot whiskey, raw honey and fresh lemon.

We now make this if we feel a cold coming on and it kicks it to the curb. I add raw grated ginger and water, because whiskey makes me gag and the ginger stops that reflex for me and of course, it has it's own nutritional benefits.

Drinking it as hot and fast as possible seems to be more effective for us.

Hope you both feel better soon.
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Becky: Hope you get a home dialysis tech soon. Ugh - 4 appts. Good luck.
FF: Becky's tip of the whiskey may help? Feel better.
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I still haven't found a dialysis tech to do my home dialysis. I hate having to go to the dialysis center at the hospital. I have 4 doctor appointments tomorrow. Not fun.

FF, Feel better soon. Summer colds are the worst. My dad used to give me a tablespoon of whiskey with a little sugar in it for a cough and cold.
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Frequentflyer, have you tried ginger. My mom used to make this hot toddy that had ginger in it. I wish I could remember the recipe. But either way..........something with ginger in it may help.

Duh, I wish I could remember the formula.

Anywho, hope you both start to feel better soon.
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Summer cold. Gosh haven't had a summer cold in decades. It is just taking soooo long to disappear, I want to get my taste buds back in order so I can enjoy food once again. Plus get my energy back, as I am so tired. I bet the neighbors had thought we adopted some dogs as both my partner and I have been barking up a storm [coughing].

We both tested ourselves earlier on twice for covid, both clear. Even the doctor tested us [in the parking lot] and that was clear. We got prescribed cough medicine which is now in pill form. It didn't help me at all. We tried Musulix [sp] and it caused me mild A-fib. Over the counter Ricola cough drops did help me but made my food taste funny.

We are doing better after 3-4 weeks, but it will take time at our age. So many naps. Lot of watching "Perry Mason" .
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glad - that's no fun. We have many big vehicles travelling the highway to here, but they aren't slow. It's good you weren't too close to that last one. Take care on the highway!!! You are doing a lot of driving these days and n end in sight yet I gather.

Aw lu, I'm sorry you hurt. Did your doctors not prescribe you something to improve your bone density? I only started taking calcium (with magnesium and Vit D) a few years ago and I think it has made a difference, Glucosamine chondroitin helps joints too. Careful ((((((((hugs)))))) lu. 🤗🤗🤗

I'm hurting a bit today too but only because I did too much on Tuesday. I had a dumpster for the day and sil and dgs filled it and the garage is almost empty and the back garden looks tidier. Of course I had to join in too and I am feeling it now. But this will pass in a few days hopefully.
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