I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
update - R got a temporary licence and they wouldn't accept that either as it doesn't have a photo on it. -so back to square one as it will take a month for him to get the replacement in the mail. A friend is lending him an older van, it is being serviced and I hope is road worthy. He will head north when it is ready. I'm not holding my breath.
My lawn lad will keep in touch. I said I would be interested in hearing how his last year at U of C goes. Then he wants to go on to a masters. In less than 2 years his family will move near to Stony. His dad told me they want to buy a small acreage there for retirement. Nice.
I wrestled with my printer/scanner downloading updates, restarting the router etc. for a while this morning and finally got it to scan. Some places will accept a photo, which is handy, but not all. I need another hot bath and a large mug of tea!!! ☕
I have listed my house with another agent. Hope this one does something!
But, I am not encouraged, went to the website advertised on the sign, and it doesn't work. Agent says it is being updated.😧😧
R found a suitable vehicle to rent. The place I found that you could book one online at a good price, denied any knowledge of that when he went in person. But he went off today to E'ton with his tools (for doing repairs) to rent the one he booked by phone last night, and when he got there they wouldn't accept his driver's license which is on his smart phone. He says he hasn't used the hard copy for at least a year and off hand doesn't know where it is, with moving his stuff from the farm. The police accept the license on his phone!
I suggested he get to a registration office and get a hard copy rather than driving back out into the country and trying to find his old one. That was 4 hours ago and I haven't heard any more. I hope no news is good news.
My lovely lad who has been taking care of the lawn and garden says this is his last day. I will miss him. What a blessing he and his family have been to me. The clover on the front lawn is disappearing!!! He's doing a few extra jobs today to tidy things up. If he ever needs a reference I would be very happy to give him one.
I thought Jordan Peterson is a psychologist.
Disclaimer:
Had no intention whatsoever to discuss politics.
Never meant to set you off Ali.
Maybe stay away from fb until you pass your finals.
You must mean we're not supposed to😏🙄
I know his self-help has reached many people, and I'm all for that. 💙
I hate him. lol That's for many reasons, and all based on his terrible social theories. One example: He says females are the chaos in the world while males are the order, women cause men to suffer, and society should control women's sexuality and reproductivity. He argues that this is based on natural laws. He promotes sexism/misogyny as completely normal and natural.
I was just curious why you brought him up. I know his self-help stuff is popular. And I know my opinion and experiences aren't the only ones in the world. 💚
Funny, though, because I'm watching this video about JP right now in short segments as I break from finals work. It's a good debunking over three hours. https://youtu.be/hSNWkRw53Jo
Would it help to offer more hours, or a raise to your parent's helper?
I know the good ones are few and far between. Some will be leaving for school, but even then, maybe hiring the worker back for an occasional after classes may work?
Have you ever heard of Jordan Peterson?
My father does not want to eat. I prepare very high calorie meals and he eats one or two bites. Gaining weight just cooking them.
And I would give directions using those landmark's as they are easier to see than street signs.
Dad taught me to read a map at an early age so I feel more comfortable with my trusty map-book then relying on GPS. One time we were visiting my grandparents out in the mid-west. Grandpa had me drive. His directions were "turn North" "now turn East", to which I asked him to use "left" or "right" as I wasn't familiar with compass directions.
Even if my sibs were to say something now it would be too little, too late for me. I feel so much better about myself now that I don't care. I carry myself a little taller now around them and it's humorous to me how much they still try to make me feel small. Sad for them that they need a scapegoat to feel powerful.
I did everything that my Mother wanted or needed for 9 and a half years while neither one of my brother's did anything to help Mother or I.
A thank you would have meant alot to me but it's been 6 years since Mother left and I still haven't heard one.
I looked out for my mom for many, many years. Long before she started getting old and frail. My siblings never really gave me much credit. I have always been considered weak in their eyes. So, I guess it made them feel superior and therefore to have to admit that I'd done something that they wouldn't or couldn't be bothered to do would be too much for them.
It's frustrating to be around people who prefer to see this vision of you that once was instead of recognizing that you are stronger than they like to think of you. I go through my days feeling strong and capable and respected and then when I communicate with my siblings at all suddenly I'm thrown back into that role that they designated for me.
I handle it by avoiding them. It would be nice to have a relationship with them but it's not worth it for me when they try to keep me down. I could find a cure for cancer and they'd still find a way to diminish it some how.
Feel good about yourself. You know what you did. God knows what you did. Screw your siblings! They don't deserve to have a relationship with you and you don't need their respect or admiration. Give it to yourself!
Anyone want to live near where HGTV is filming the next season of Hometown Takeover? Maybe that will help get this house sold. they will be here for four months. My Saturday morning coffee shop is closed for awhile for a complete remodel. It needed it, it was kind of a dump, but the coffee and company are great!
R drives by landmarks not addresses so when I found a place to rent a truck he couldn't find it (even though he drives around that town regularly) as I don't know the landmarks around it. I mentioned the address and he said "I don't drive like that" It's true. We got lost once in the city because "There used to be a hotel on that corner". But, it works well in the country, "Turn east at the old oak tree then drive on till you see the barn with the red roof..."
It reminds me of once trying to find someone's house in Fort Chip. We stopped to ask directions to Cookie's house from a local who was walking down the road. Everyone in Fort Chip knew Cookie. The answer was "It's right beside old Antoine's place. You have to know where that is. He's been there all his life!" SMH -small towns!!! When you called a cab after grocery shopping there you just got in and said 'Take me home."
Just found out that sil has an infection in his stomach so dd should not be offering his help anyway. It's pouring rain which "puts a damper" on some activities. The good news is that sil is on antibiotics and we hope that will deal with his long lasting stomach issues. And I found a place to rent a truck that R has been to before and can find easily. He says I will see him soon, but R's "soon" is most peoples "quite a bit later". Sigh!!!
My brain fog is clearing so I can start on the house again. DD and I were commiserating the other day about low energy and how we take for granted things like being able to clean the kitchen without getting exhausted, if you even get that far. Her radiation starts next Tuesday so they will travel down on Sunday and she will be there for the rest of the month. I will take gdg out for a couple of meals as sil will travel south to be with dd on his days off.
Why would I even dare to think that life could go anywhere near smoothly? It doesn't usually.
I just read an article from the American Psychological Association about the mental health challenges of caregivers. That's on top of the physical health issues incurred as a result of putting your needs second chronically.
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/11/numbers-stress-caregivers
I've also read opinions on this very forum that are indicative of the kind of attitudes that contribute to the depression and hopelessness a gigantic amount of caregivers face. You've read the comments. I think some people just come out here to scold caregivers. I've read some truly nasty and argumentative comments out here. That's just sad.
The challenges faced by caregivers aren't manufactured and there is no "just do this" kind of fix. It is a slog every day in quicksand. Most fixes require energy and if you are like me, there isn't a whole lot in reserve.
So for all of us who are just doing the best we can every day, kudos to us. It's one of the hardest jobs in the world and one of the least appreciated. I salute every single one of us for our efforts and hope that every day there is at least a moment or two of peace or joy or just calm thoughts.
I'm sitting here in tears because I feel so helpless. I'm angry, and I'm resentful, and I do not want this to be long-term. I don't know what to do. My husband just goes with the flow and gets angry at me when I ask questions, because no one has a plan and no one knows what to do.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/caregivers-cats-behaving-badly-426496.htm?orderby=oldest