I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Thanks for the clips idea. I found our small metal ones and they worked. Now, I can put them on much easier!
Way I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope the drs find some meds that help her. There is not much more that can be done. I know it's hard to hear her anger and blame. Please look after yourself and don't get too weighed down by this. It is out of your hands. (((((((hugs)))))
Ali - I used to use nail polish on panty hose too. Don't think I have used it for anything else but it is a good idea.
Psue - I am with you!
nacy - she pretty well did her own thing anyway didn't she?
TB welcome. Glad you are getting your mom into a facility. Caregiving often falls in one person's shoulders.
I instantly knew what it was--It's a smidge of clear nail polish on what was surely a very small hole where any stitching would have accentuated the hole, but a drop of clear nail polish keeps the fibers from fraying. 🤓 I don't remember doing the repair, but I knew that's what it was. 😁
Anyone else ever used this trick for tiny holes? I learned it in high school because I wore pantyhose often (due to the dress code), and nail polish is, of course, a great way to stop a run. Just thought that was funny, and reminded me of the mending talk lately in this thread. It's neat to hear all the ways you all have learned to sew things, or saw your parents or grandparents do things.
Nacy: Prayers for your DH.
Sis did well on Seroquel Oct 2023 when she had delerium after back surgery after a fall .
Not all sedatives can be given with Lewy Body either.
Before Lewy was diagnosed , They tried Abilify April of 2023 for delerium from metabolic encephalopathy and sepsis . She almost died , but went to rehab and then back home . She could not tolerate the Abilify in rehab , she refused it . A lot of tremors and other symptoms . She did well in rehab and went home that time .
At this point she now believes there is nothing wrong with her and does not need any meds. She will refuse all sedatives . She still googles on her phone . She insists she can take care of herself . She is often agitated in this loop quest to go home . She will only take her regular meds for BP , thyroid , blood thinners etc . Only months ago she knew she had dementia and even said she knew she would need to go to a facility soon . The past 4-6 months significant progression .
Anesthesia from back and hip surgery ( falls ) have not helped .
She left rehab a month ago and is in a very nice board and care . The other day my nephew took her to the orthopedist for recheck for her fractured hip ( 3 months ago ). When they got back she refused to get out of the car . The owner had to coax her to go inside .
Golden, the tiger within me has tamed a lot since husband #1. We were both young and stupid. You can add ‘petty’ to my list but vandalism was better than what I wanted to do (and what he deserved IMHO) - he got off easy.
Seroquel makes one very sleepy and groggy. Again, I have very limited experience with myself and hearing this from others, but I get why someone would refuse it if they're cognizant enough to do so.
Idk who her advocate is. In my opinion, a lot of folks refuse Seroquel. And psychiatrists get lazy and fall back on rx'ing the med that calms folks down so they are compliant. I hope her psychiatrist tries something else; something she agrees to take as prescribed.
“ I don’t need to be here , I hate it . How would you like to be put away too young?
I have rights , I refuse to be drugged .”
She refuses her Seroquel . 😫😫😫
psue - Sounds appropriate and I hope it helped. Like I said, there's a tiger in you!🐯 Thx for the prayers. I hate seeing him in such pain, He has a very high tolerance for pain but it still shows
Humidity going up. Why didn't I do this sooner?
Nacy, what a relief for your DH. I’d much rather be sick myself than have a sick husband. How about you? Any symptoms?
nacy - sounds like hubby is getting better Yay! I wish I had had shop. I would have loved it. Awful for that poor girl.
ana - lol I hear you! When you get to my age you can strut again no matter how you look!!!
way - I guess your dd is just not a sewer. It's probably becoming a lost art. Obviously she is managing her life without having to sew on buttons. Nowadays stuff is thrown out rather than repaired. Handing down skills was the old way.
ali - What a story. That was lovely! I am sure your grandmother's place looked great. You have lots of talents! But you went in with your dreams and hit a major obstacle. I remember you posting about that business here years ago. Sad. My understanding is that darning is what you do to socks, I kind of enjoyed the weaving in and out. Otherwise it is mending. I doubt many do it these days. The most important reconstruction and weaving you did then was in your relationship with your grandmother. No one can take those memories from you,
Good for you. Margaret! You certainly have some sewing talent.
Yes cw - I'm awake again! You could get lovely darning eggs in those days but anything round and firm worked. 4H was a great group. I've wondered about crocheting again. Mother knitted several Norwegian sweater in her late 80s, then went on to scarves. But it hasn't happened for me yet either.
R has a few drawers full of sox on which I commented the other day. He said "I don't darn them any more. When they get holes, I throw them away. I figure he's good for a few decades. In case you wonder, he does his own laundry so I am not aware of the state of his sox. He sews reasonable well too and mends occasionally.
I have been somewhat shameless this season buying a few new outfits. It's over now I hope - but maybe just one more piece. it will go so well with that other set.
I did not take home ec in high school but I was a 4-H member for many years and learned all about cooking, sewing and gardening there. My grandmother taught me how to crochet, braid and do embroidery but it was my mom who showed me the basics of knitting. And now I'm just not interested in any of it.
It is sad when someone can’t sew a button on though.
EXCEPT when it’s your soon to be ex-husband and you use a seam ripper to cut all but one thread holding all the buttons onto all his shirts. Then it’s karma.
By the way, my grandma used to darn socks over a goose egg. My mom used a lightbulb. I threw them away and bought new ones. Sigh.
My mom taught me to hand sew when I was very young. She showed me the basics when I was around 5yo; I've been decent at it since then. Minor hand repairs seem like nothing compared to putting things through a machine to construct a hem or put together a pattern, to me. I'll hand sew anything to make it functional or look better. Machines are a different world, to me, and more difficult. I took home ec in high school... but can't say I learned anything useful from that class.
I want to share a story that meant something to me during caregiving: My grandmother had a 1960s "flip over" type sewing machine desk in the corner of her bedroom. The machine was solid but hadn't been used in a few decades. I oiled it and got it running, and she had all the supplies, such as new needles and bobbins. I took fabrics from around her home (there were decades' worth of compilations of different sheets, blankets, towels, etc.) or bought curtains from cheap outlets (thrift stores, discount stores) to alter for her home. I made all kinds of new furnishings for her home. I made curtains and covers for chairs and altered anything and everything to put a "pretty" finish on the old house. It's the ONLY time I've ever done any sewing like that, when I got some cleaner and prettier fabrics together for grandma's house in 2011. Two of her hired caregivers wanted to learn machine sewing, and I showed them what I knew about how to put seams together -- simple stuff. Good memories. This was all in a short time, a few months when I was "renovating" her home for her.
During the summer and fall of 2011, I rehabbed my previously always hard-working, dignified, generous, 103yo, 10+ years into dementia, grandmother's house entirely by myself in only a few months. It was far more than a few new fabric covers. I removed cabinet doors, stained them, and removed decades of old carpet from all the rooms that covered the lovely old wood floors. The changes amazed anyone who visited, and I was proud of my accomplishments. 😊 GREAT memories... before the bad stuff set in and forces beyond my control caused a downward spiral in grandma's quality of care and her health. She loved the changes, and even though she didn't know who I was, she said she wouldn't ever want to live without me. 😂💛 It was a sweet bonding time between us at that stage in her life. Her sweet love paid me for any work I did during that time, and I'm so thankful I got that wonderful experience before she declined.
*Since it's the "whine" thread, I'll just say that my only whine when remembering this time when I was machine sewing daily is that I didn't get more time believing that if I just gave my grandma a "new" house, that her life would continue with greater dignity--which is what I wanted to give her. That's not how it played out, and it's unfortunate because it was a beautiful time when I still had so much naive confidence in myself and believed that good deeds were always rewarded... or at least not severely punished.
I have lovely memories of my only time doing machine sewing, and I'm happy to have a place to recount them with a smile on my face. 💜
My daughter still complains that is was a waste of time having her use a sewing machine and not teaching her how to hand sew ( repair ) or sew a button on that falls off .
She says she will never use a sewing machine again . And I have tried to teach her to hand sew . She’s awful at it . I’m pretty good at it . I can do different stitches for different fabric types , for hems etc . Mom taught two of us to hand sew . Mom and one sister were better at it than me . That sister was good at the sewing machine too . The other sibs were not interested .
Why is it that pre-teen and teenaged girls can’t see how beautiful they are, if only by virtue of the fact that they are young? It seems like a design flaw.
And she’d have forfeited the credit before she’d model a bikini. If I looked like her, I’d be strutting about in one!
I’m so glad your husband is feeling a little better and I hope you dodge the virus bullet.
We had home ec in middle school but one week a year the shop class, the sewing class and the cooking class would rotate so the boys could learn how to sew a straight line on binder paper and how to keep blueberry muffins from ‘peaking’. The girls made wooden boxes with a bandsaw and learned how internal combustion engines work. I loved every minute of it.
I’ve been sewing since I was a tot but that backfired on me in middle school home ec. While the other girls were making draw-string bags and a-line shifts I made a bikini and cover-up. No one told me there was going to be a fashion show at the end of the semester for all the students and their parents. Oh my lord, the mortification! I am scarred for life.
I am from the days when we had Home Ec class in high school. The boys had shop and ne'er the twain did meet. Cooking, sewing, setting a table type of thing. I did them all already, but it was a relaxed class. I remember making coffee with egg shells (may try that again) and sewing a pair of flowered green flannel pyjamas which lasted me for years. French seams!
I never minded housework. I used to do the ironing in the basement on hot days. It was so nice and cool down there. I've put sides to the middle (more French seams) to get more mileage out of sheets. Hand sewed seams sometimes. A well organized linen closet gives me satisfaction. I have to have another go at the one here.
One of my fantasies is having all my clothes hangers identical lol. Doubt it will ever happen. All that being said, I have a "lived in" house. Mother was a bit of a fanatic and I'm certainly not that!
Jackets - I'm into non tailored "jackets". Have been for a long time. They take up less room and, for me, are more comfortable. I used to love a tailored suit for work, but no more.
nacy - hope your hub feels better soon. It's worrying I know, but you may not get it.. DD didn't when her hub had it.
Antiwhine - R started treatment with the concussion PTs and very quickly a bad headache got better. They know what they are doing. What a blessing!