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It's Summer.
Be more food aware, check it out.
My eggs had watery whites.
The steak is tough because it has too much water.
Stores are now selling expired or older products, even fresh salsa.
Then, there are the fish that have (supposedly harmless) worms.
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Barb, I just said "well, I don't know, the hospital sent the mattress after her main doctor asked for it, and I trust the doctor as I am not one...!"
But still, it annoys me...
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hugs!!
wishing us all well!! :)

my “whine” moment...
it’s hard for me to find the right balance between helping my LOs, and helping myself.

there are many things in my life i need to sort out.

there must be a solution. i have faith i’ll figure out how to balance things.

hugs!!! wishing us a continued great summer!

...i like the quote:
“when something goes wrong in your life, just yell ‘plot twist!’”

:)

bundle of joy :)
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"Oh, that's interesting. Can you send me a link to the information about the best mattresses for bed sores?"
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I am really fed up of all these people who give me unasked advice about mom's health without knowing anything. The Lasr one was a neighbor questionning the antidecubitus mattress as it is made of plastic...
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Mother is 89, lost her husband of over 60 years about 10 years ago, the rest of her kids abused her, she's on depression meds, so I moved back home to take care of her. We generally get along, but I have to do majority of things as she constantly reminds me "your father would never make me do this or that", even though she's fully capable of her doing her own laundry, making basic meals, doing PT, etc. Every so often (and tonight was one of them) where she doesn't like something I did (today was leaving her candy on the kitchen counter instead of hand delivering it to her bedroom) and plays the pity party, screaming that she's living a cooped up horrible life, she has to cook her own meals, I mean completely complaining about EVERYTHING! Naturally, as a human being, you want to defend yourself and remind her I do EVERYTHING by myself and I never complain nor ask for anything in return, other than trying to be as independent as she can possibly be. Of course that's not what she wants to hear and shuts down the conversation cuz she knows she's in the wrong and unappreciative. These "tiffs" always make me feel like I'm not doing enough or that even raising my voice is "elder abuse" and makes me think if I really AM doing enough. Like clockwork, she will come around in a few days and apologize for acting this way and that she appreciates how much I take care of her. Regardless, it still hurts because it really does make you question how much you're doing and how good you're doing it.

Thank you to everyone reading this and allowing me to vent and have my "whine moment of the day"
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I went to my father's ALF to drop off his meds and snacks. I had even gotten him a few special goodies as they have been back on covid lockdown this past week. Im handing him his bag of goodies and pills and suddenly, the new director inserts himself between me and my dad and proceeds to tell me that my dad is making sexual comments to the staff members (again). He suggests that my dad have a psych evaluation. I tell the guy I would be happy to have this conversation with him , but not in front of my father. He was unaware my dad was still standing there behind him. I said goodbye to my dad, and told him to behave himself. Of course he said the director was lying. After I went to my car, I saw the director again and told him to do whatever he needed to. I have no POA on him. I said maybe a psychiatric eval and maybe some meds would help, but that I am not comfortable discussing my father's sexuality in detail with anyone. Some days, SOME days!!!
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My mom had tears in her eyes so I asked what was wrong. She said she was sorry for not being good enough or well enough. This statement was about to break my heart. The only thing I can think of was when she was on the commode she started whinning and I told her not to whine and that she was ok. I have to watch my mouth I really feel bad. I did apologized to her, gave her a big hug, and told her I was sorry. She also told me today her stomach was acting up this morning. I told her to be positive and think about pleasant things. This is where she got it and I am truely sorry for saying those things to my sweet mom. She told me I do not know how she feels because it is not me going through it. She is resting in bed now and seems content.
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Mil called me today cause she couldn't get my husband. It was to ask to buy her some things (she is 80 and has multiple sclerosis but she is still mainly independent). That's fine but when she asked about my mum, it upset me... I think she thinks I am going to be her caregiver... Which I cannot and do not want to do. So I told her I am thinking about finding a facility for my mum. I explained I am a working woman and would never give up my job... She worked maybe some years before getting married... She sometimes calls when I am at work and can't understand I can't just stay on the phone... That's so annoying, she doesn't know what it means and she also reproached I rarely go to visit her. The truth is that I get both bored and annoyed as she gossips about her neighbors... Whom I don't know and above all I don't like gossiping.
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I understand. My mother will request meals and I buy the ingredients and then she doesn't want it. Wants something I don't have. It seems I can never satisfy her anymore.
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Hello glad,
I am happy you slept well and hope you continue to do so. Wishing you a speedy recovery. Hope this is all behind you real soon.
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Yes Glad, happy you are on the road to recovery!

I take various things to help me sleep. Gravol, Benedryl, Zzzquil sometimes.

I have ativan for anxiety and occasionally will take half of one at 1.0mg to relax me.

To be honest I've felt guilty about this for years but hearing that others are in the same boat makes me feel better. I have been trying to workout more lately and eat on more of a set schedule which also helps.

These days anxiety about my cat Daniel having cancer has made sleep a little trickier. I go to bed anxious and wake up sad. We've got him on a steroid now for palliative care. We aren't going the surgery or chemo route cause it would be awful expensive and wouldn't buy us much more time with him in addition to all the vet trips etc. his quality of life wouldn't be great.
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Ali, I took zolpidem as ambien years ago. It caused me to have very vivid, odd dreams, one of which I still remember and really creeps me out. So, did not take ambien for very long.

Yes, I feel a bit better every day, still doing anything really tires me out.
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Glad, I'm happy the Tylenol PM worked for you. Post-surgery discomfort is tough; you need sleep rest and recuperation the most right now but pain makes it hard to get.

I tried managing with occasional diphenhydramine OTCs for years but it wasn't getting it done. Now I take zolpidem every night and often add one Tylenol PM or a little Zzzquil on top of it if I'm not asleep within a couple of hours. Seems like a bit much to me but what can I say, it works and I'm less fatigued and irritable.

When I was working out regularly, my sleep improved a lot. But exercising every day vs taking a pill at night... one is definitely easier and less time consuming lol.

I see the zolpidem as temporary help while I'm in school. But school could go on for awhile and it's not recommended more than a few months at a time. It is what it is. I might be creating some problems for down the road but I'll deal with it when I get there. I've asked my docs often about foreseeable problems with continuing to take zolpidem but no one's said it's really that terrible. I'm wary though, because I've been prescribed habit-forming things before with no warnings and had to learn the hard way that withdrawal can be hell.

Happy you're on the road to recovery, Glad, though still very sore. Must be a relief to you to be on the other side of this.
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I took zzzquil nightly for years, started when caring for mom. It worked very well. Then about a year and a half ago, I stopped taking it, figured it probably wasn't doing anything to help any more anyway. Started falling asleep without it without a problem.

But, right now, I am so uncomfortable it is very hard to fall asleep and stay asleep. Last night got a good night's sleep, finally, with the help of three Tylenol PM.
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Ali, I hear you about reliance on sleep aids. I have a long habit of popping a pill to make me fall asleep. Nothing illegal or habit forming but I take something most nights. Falling asleep naturally is a foreign concept to me.
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Brynn, that sounds like a terribly hard load on your shoulders and not a sustainable situation. It's hard to make decisions when you're in a fog of fatigue but can you get some respite so you can make a better plan? Your sister's care is too much for anyone working that many hours.

Barb, so sorry to read about your cousin. (((((hugs))))) He does sound very brave and realistic. I hope I could face a terminal situation with half the guts and pragmatism.

Maple, amazing how some can think they're experts because they read or heard something, and yet they haven't been in the trenches and wouldn't have a clue how to handle the reality of dementia daily care. It's easy to have all the answers if you don't know the first thing about it. lol It's maddening, I agree.

I'm back in school, back at the books. It's been a shock to the system. I'm planning my work-week (more like work-days, anymore) better around school requirements and I think that will help to keep the worst of the stress overload down but I have to start the work earlier and balance it out over more days. I was really wiped out this past month and enjoyed resting the past few weeks from school and hopefully am over my "burnout" stage.

I am taking some new supplements every day, some things suggested in this thread, actually, plus being more diligent about taking iron which has always been very low in blood tests. Some days are better than others for fatigue but I'm making it work. My reliance on sleep aids concerns me some but it helps my daily life. I feel much better after deep, long sleep and don't think I can get it on my own, not consistently.

No real problems here. :-) Just life stuff, and trying to be my own advocate for ongoing fatigue issues. It's hard because I'm not sure where to get any help besides Dr. Google. lol

Hope you all have a good week.
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I just spoke to my sister who lives in another state. She told me about an friend she used to live with who has just been diagnosed with ALZ. Then proceeded to tell me what I need to do for my husband whom I've been caring for for the past three years!!!! She has always been a know it all, but this takes the cake!!!!
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Dear Barb,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry to read about the passing of your cousin Nick. My thoughts are with you.

Dear BrynnLee,

I'm so sorry. Working night shift and caring for a loved one is very tough. I would try and engage a social worker or some community support. It's not fair to you. I know us women try to do it all, but it takes a toll. I hope would some other family members or friends would come forward to support you.
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Barb, praying for your daughter's back issues, and for peace and comfort over the loss of your cousin.
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BarBrooklyn- my sincere condolences to you and your cousin Nick's family.

BrynLee - how did you end up taking care of your sister? When did she move from her place to yours? Under what circumstances?
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So sorry for the loss of your cousin, Barb.
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Sorry for the loss of your dear cousin, Barb. May he rest in peace. Thoughts and prayers sent to you and family.
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Barb, so sorry for your loss.
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Brynn -you can't keep doing this or you will need care yourself. Take your sister back to her husband and leave her there for him to figure it out. Why/how did she come to you in the first place? In my view, her husband and adult kids should take responsibility for her care. You can't do it. Your health is suffering. Check with your doctor and get his/her support that this is too much for you.

Look after you! Her husband is not in charge of your life to tell you what to do. He sounds like a bully taking advantage of you. Only you can out an end to that. (((((hugs)))))
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I work 12hrs, I'm so tired. My sister has a husband and 3 adult children. We all live within 20 minutes of each other. I've had my sister a little over a month living with me, she wears a diaper, can't prepare her own meals and walks with a walker when she can get up. I have to wash the water proof couch cover at least 2 times a day. I get no help from anyone and my refinery job is suffering because I'm so tired, I work nights and take care of her during the day. I tell her husband she needs to be put in a home but he refuses and says I should take care of her because I'm her sister. My diabetes is out of control due to no sleep and stress. Her husband has power of attorney and is the only one who can put her in a home. Please help with ideas
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Barb, I'm saddened to learn of your cousin's death, but would fully support his choice.  I hope that you and your family can remember him the way he was before contracting cancer.

Peace to you and your family.
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So sorry, Barb. He was brave and realistic. (((((((hugs)))))
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Barb,
So very sorry for you and your family's loss. 🌹
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Barbara, I am so sorry for your lo s s.
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