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Radar, sorry to hear this. Do you have a local agency you can call in the future when you get sick? Seems like you need a safety net for a time like this. Hope you are feeling much improved.
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I really appreciate being able to vent here. I slept until 3pm on Monday, which is strange. I've had swollen nodes in throat and armpits off and on for a few weeks... I'm run down a bit. I'm taking extra Vitamin C to try to come out of it and ibuprofen several times a day for muscle pain.

I was able to get some work in and made my peace with turning some things in late this week. I've gotten 99% of work in on time and the exception was the day addict roommie N moved out. That Tuesday, I asked for an extra day and prof kindly gave me a week. It's been a really fast pace with school the past 8 months.

I may as well ask for another extension. The worst prof can say is no and then it's a 10% point deduction. My grades are very good and it shouldn't affect the overall grade.

I needed some downtime, some self care. Earlier I made turmeric ashwaghanda tea, took a long candlelit bath with Epsom salt and eucalyptus and rosemary oils, and then ordered food delivery. It is what it is; I needed some pampering. :-)

Extra thanks to you, golden, for being supportive and reminding me I have to take care of myself, too. Many (((((hugs))))). And some others have reached out in PMs to offer some input. I appreciate it so much. The encouragement really helps.
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I was mightily ill yesterday, so much so I couldn't function to tend to my care giver duties. I felt so alone with no one to call to come in and help support me for the day. So, so, alone.
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ali - doing the best you can is great. We make plans but life gets in the way. You got very close to Divo during a difficult time in his life. You cared for him and nursed him. He was part of your family and now he is gone. Pet loss is a loss - give yourself space. (((((((hugs)))))
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You're not running a restaurant. Think back to when you were a kid. Did your mom make separate meals for everyone based on their different tastes and preferences and then one for herself?

No. She didn't.

I'm pretty sure every mom in the world has said the following:

'This isn't a restaurant. If you don't like it, don't eat it. I'm not making something else'.

It's time to say this to your fussy, elderly mother now.
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Ali,

Yes, tackle it tomorrow after you get some rest. Tomorrow you can start fresh with a clear head.

It’s normal to be missing your cat. She was with you for a long time and part of your tribe.
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My whine moment...

My psych class is so challenging. I find statistics to be easy -- there is a right or wrong answer and concise methods to follow. I'm familiar with social cognitive theory in psychology but struggling with writing a few paragraphs about intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation and self-regulatory behavior. Far too meta for me and too many variables imo. I need to regurgitate a happy, brief understanding of it... and I failed after many hours of work and research and ended up deleting everything... which I've never done before. I will try again tomorrow.

Having to put my cat to sleep after weeks of constant worry and care has knocked me down mentally and I procrastinated some. I'll do the best I can and try to let it be enough.

Just needed to vent. It stinks to do so much work and not be able to get a simple assignment in.
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Golden,

The best chocolate that I ever had was many years ago while on vacation. It was Teuscher chocolates. They were fabulous Swiss chocolates!

I sampled several of the chocolate truffles. I prefer dark chocolate. Milk chocolate and white chocolate are too sweet for my taste.
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Golden, sounds fun to try all the flavors. I love dark chocolate and mint combos. The health benefits of dark chocolate make it such a great treat option. I should order some.

Send, you're right. Knowledge of how to effectively help with behavioral health issues is beneficial for caregiving, essential for some caregivers.
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My whine is chocolate related. I ordered some new flavours from that special chocolate maker. The apple walnut tasted neither like apple nor walnut. The banana pecan tasted of pecan which was nice but the other flavour was not banana and I didn't like it. Looking forward to checking out the coconut coffee and the lemon ginger. The blueberry lavender, in my mind is the best yet, though lavender is not a fave of mine.
On the other hand on a trip to Save-On I bought some of an old favorite which I haven't had since covid started as I haven't shopped there - 70% dark chocolate with mint. It is awesome!
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Ali,
Your post has everything to do with caregiving.
The topic of aberrant behaviors has been studied, reported, and there may be a way to effect a change at home.
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ali - you are welcome. You are such a bright student it had to be either a bad teacher or a bad text or both. I remember my daughter missed something in a university Math course (she was aces in Math ) so she dropped the course. She took it again and had a better teacher, got the point and it was no problem. Good luck on your quiz.

eb - so glad your mum likes the food. Awesome service.
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Hello Isthisrealyreal,
The chef prepares the food and stores them in a black plastic medium container. I take it out of the freezer and heat it for about 2 -3 minutes. It tastes just as fresh as when he first prepared it. My mom loves the food. He is making them with increase protein and calories. What a nice service for our elder population.

,
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I love it, golden, thank you. It helps to have simple examples. I was reading things online and it seemed different to what's in my text. It's all saying the same thing, but the text was confusing. You are a great teacher!
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Earlybird,

what did the home chef store the meals in?

I am just curious about that and was wondering if they gave you different reheating instructions based on what the food is.

Thank you.
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Beatty - your husband likes his ice cream!

Ali - no the response. does not come first unless you are talking about the aberrant behaviour NCR is used for. Once that is identified, the reinforcement is independent of the response and used to decrease aberrant behaviour

NCR involves giving the student (who exhibits aberrant behavior) access to a reinforcer frequently enough that they are no longer motivated to exhibit disruptive behavior to obtain that same reinforcer. (internet)

NCR is...not dependent (not contingent) on any behavior.
https://www.abaconnect.com/aba-terms/ncr-non-contingent-reinforcement/

Ali Think "Independent of specific behavior - time scheduled -reinforcement". Your have identified that your dog is behaving badly to get your attention. Pat your dog every morning regardless of his behaviour (non-dependent, time scheduled reinforcement). as opposed to patting your dog when he has been a "good boy"(reinforcement for specific behaviour)

I don't know about the cognitive basis for NCR. I found a paper, albeit a few years old, (2000) that discusses behaviour change mechanisms. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/222540523_A_review_of_'noncontingent'_reinforcement_as_treatment_for_the_aberrant_behaviour_of_individuals_with_development_disabilities

Sorry everyone - this just got the teacher in me going. 😜😜😜
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AIi, oh interesting.. I had to Google it.

Is it like a having icecream every night regardless of whether or not you eat your greens first?

My DH lives by this.. 😁
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Meh. My whine today is that I don't understand "noncontingent reinforcement" at all. It's a major theme of this week's school topics on behavioralism in my psych class. I feel like my brain is going in circles trying to figure out how to understand and describe this. Does the response come first, not the reinforcer...? Is there a more cognitive basis for NCR...? 😵🤓 Hopefully I can figure it out in time for the quiz tomorrow. 😆

...which has nothing to do with caregiving. lol I'm sorry. I'm definitely using the AC site for distraction and venting lately. Too much stress.
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I'm finding it hard to smile and laugh at present. It was one of those days when I found it hard to get work done when I had to be in the house checking up on her.
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Here mother wants to take a trip several states away by herself with no one else as a passenger. I don't see how that would happen if she has to watch her fluid and salt intake ever so closely to prevent dehydration. She's thinking of leaving me at home because she is thinking I wouldn't be able to handle it if an emergency arose. It just seems like she's set on it. Part of me is scared of this idea.
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Golden, I so want this to work. Great service for seniors and family caregivers. Pureed foods take time, patience and creativity. Hopefully my mom will like it and have many more choices.
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EB - a chef!!! Wow, hope it works!

ali - be sure to get checked out and let us know the results.
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My whine today... I became physically ill earlier today when trying to write a school paper at the desk. There didn't seem to be a particular cause but I became so dizzy and weak, I had to put my head down on my desk and just wait for it to pass. I didn't think I could walk to my room to get in bed but after a few minutes, I got up and took my laptop to bed and was able to finish my paper there after lying quietly for 20 minutes or so.

I don't have a clue what this episode was, or what could have caused it. My best guess is that it's some anemia and I need to take my iron supplements. I'm overdue to see my PCP and do blood work updates but haven't found the time to go in.

I'll try to go by PCP tomorrow in the morning if I can. They have walk in hours. And I need to do the labs my PCP ordered months ago. I'll try to get that done tomorrow and hopefully work will let me come in a little later than usual.
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That's a great thing you can do for your mom, earlybird. I'm sure the home chef will have ideas for nutritious meals your mom will want to eat.
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Mom just informed me she is leaving this place. She has been getting sick every time I make her food lately. She did tell me" you do not get sick when you eat." I just hired a personal chef for her and he is coming on Thursday. He will shop and cook whatever meals she likes. I am so waiting for this. I am all out of ideas for pureed foods and my mother is losing some weight and not getting enough calories and I am worried. I think she is sick of fish and salmon every day. Not many options here, she only eats veggies, fish and salmon, protein shakes and sweets. I am sure the chef will have better ideas and better tasting meals .She does have very good appetite when she likes the food, though. She was taking a nap and I hear her calling out my name and telling me she loves me. She is my sweetie. I looked in on her and she is smiling. She seems to feel better now so off we go for a walk around the block. Have a good day everyone.
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My sweet mother had a big breakfast this morning and she felt nauseous after she ate. She has a big appetite for a 98 year old. I added a little pureed sweet potato to her Frittata this morning and I guess it was too heavy. When I asked her how she was doing she stuck her tongue out and wrinkled her nose at me and said" it is not you." I sort of laughed and now she is apologizing many times and tearing up for doing that. It is so out of character for her. I told her it was ok and I understood she was sick and gave her a big hug.
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Anyone ever watched World's Funniest Weather? Need some humor in your lives? You really should Google it!

Just a sample
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0NOx0UroVvM
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A friend suggested I watch the documentary Unrest on Netflix. She says it made her think about me and my behavior/symptoms. It's about ME/CFS. I strongly related to so much in it. For me, it started with a very bad mono/EBV infection when I was 15yo. After that, I got sick a lot, especially with tonsillitis every year.

I'm thankful I can work. I don't have nearly as bad of symptoms as those in the doc. It was heartbreaking to watch, though. There's so little that's understood about this disease. Medical pros commonly misdiagnose it as mental illness.
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Need,
According to a friend it is worse! Also because after the labour you will have your baby in your arms... Whereas will kidney stones you have gone through terrible pain just to have... a stone! 😊
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EB,

And when our feet hurt it’s miserable! That’s interesting that your younger niece had food pain also.
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