I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I really hope it's over. I need it to be over.
My daughters couldn’t believe that I did it! LOL I told them it worked like a charm and I was young, brazen and had enough! Not to mention that I barely weighed 100 lbs! I was starving by the time I got off work.
I put my name on my lunch everyday and placed in the fridge. My coworker stole it just about everyday. When I confronted him, he denied it! I decided to put chocolate ex-lax in my lunch as a ‘special’ dessert! He NEVER stole my lunch again!
Good riddance to her! Get some rest.
She said she needed to get her mail first before she leaves but there was nothing in the box for her today. I said she needs to go and I'll contact her the minute there is any mail in her name.
You may just be able to sit down at your desk tonight!!!!
Thanks so much for the support through this, you guys. I asked for a one-day extension and prof asked me if Saturday due-date would be ok. I'm so thankful for that. I don't want to put any work off but right now, it's enough to just get through this. I should find another local safe space to do homework, in case I need it again. Usually my apartment desk, with headphones on, is very good for school work.
If all N takes are pots and pans, consider yourself lucky. I know what you are going through and it is depleting mentally. Send is right. Make healthy choices right now. It's very easy when you are tired and fed up to say f*ck it and just eat junk but it's more important than ever right now to be healthy.
We are all praying and rooting for you!
You know what is right for you.
It is likely that you are still stronger than you realize. Maybe your body is telling you from experience to keep a low profile at this time.
You have made some really good decisions in the past.
And you are right, a set of pans won't matter if they are missing.
Your safety is what counts now.
Keep hydrated today.
We are all pulling for you, and others are praying.
Like Gershun said: "You've got this!"
Take a few deep breaths, and stand up tall.
You could take a photo of everything she is stealing.
You may need to be bold enough to randomly go through the trash bags or unsealed boxes she is taking when she is in the bathroom, or leaves for awhile.
You can do this even while shaking. You have options to call 911 (for a civil assist) to come by while she is moving out if you become afraid. Ask a neighbor to stand by, maybe watch her.
Understand, this is not all she is stealing. You decide.
Protect yourself and your pet(s).
There was a stupid disagreement about a pan set. I saw she was taking it, it's mine, so I told her it wasn't hers and to please put it back. I said it exactly like that. I'm TRYING to keep things civil and rational. She argued with me, sent me texts saying they were hers, so I sent her the online receipt from 6 months ago. She switches into "you're harassing me" mode. I've avoided her like the plague the past month, I definitely don't harass her. It's a $25 pan set. Maybe I should have just let her take it. Nothing about this situation is worth the upset.
If I don't get an extension, it's a 10% deduction off any late work. I don't care at this point. It's worth it to me for right now to get through today as best I can... and I'll still pass the class. Thanks for your input on this, friends.
In college, the instructor often said: "After graduation, no one is going to ask what grades you got on a test".
I found this to be true, and no one was interested in my grade point average, or that I was on the Dean's Honor's List, or that I was an honorary member of Alpha Gamma Sigma.
But also! Thank goodness I have somewhere to vent these problems I've had with the roommate lately. I reached out to some family and friends, but they have their own lives to deal with. I get that.
I'm trying to push through this hard time. I'm so jumpy in my own apartment; it's not good and it's draining. I think I took it for granted that I was so beyond any kind of interpersonal conflict on this level. I put up with a lot from N, smiled while I spoke with her when she did things that were nutty, and then something in me snapped at some point and I was done. Since then, I don't have any peace in my apartment... and she's been on much better behavior since the cameras went up. It's me that changed drastically along the way. I'm just done with her emotionally, mentally.
There are signs she's moving out but she's not out yet. I'm getting through the school workload ok but there's a thesis paper to write before tomorrow night. Dang these psych classes and their 3-4 page papers every other week. Is it really necessary? lol
I can't quit school. Not without giving it everything I can and hoping N is out soon... like tomorrow, soon. I'm ready to call in sick for the whole week, though, and just catch up on everything I've put off lately. I won't... I'll keep on. And hopefully this is all over very soon. :-/ I can get back to complaining about the school work load. :-)
I am on a keto diet because I have lypedema, I do not have to loose weight.
I am under medical control and taking vitamins as well as magnesium and potassium.
I will do it just for 4 weeks as my legs are aching.
3 years ago I lost 13 kg in 12 weeks but above all the pain in my legs and feet went away!
I am glad to hear that. She sounds like a great landlady.
My daughter used to panic when she had to get new roommates. Somehow, it would work out. One time a friend of a friend had a horrible roommate too. My daughter’s friend introduced them and they ended up being great roommates.
I always had wonderful landlords. I respected them and their property and I never had any major issues.
Be at peace knowing that this will be behind you soon.
I don’t know where your roommate will eventually end up but I feel sorry for her new roommate, if she doesn’t pull her act together!
Most of us have had issues with releasing bad memories at times.
It can be difficult learning how to process our emotions.
I write my feelings in a personal journal for a set amount of time. Sometimes, it’s only one sentence.
If a situation with a person can’t be resolved and they have been disrespectful and inconsiderate, then it’s time to let it go. You have done that.
I am glad that she won’t be living with you any longer.
Can you find a new place to study in your home? The kitchen table is always handy!
Is the library practical for you or even a favorite coffee shop?
My younger daughter had crappy roommates from time to time. She never studied at her apartment. She went to the library, park or a coffee house.
Our surroundings do effect our energy and mood.
I don’t know if you are spiritual in any way. Some people pray. Some people meditate to ground themselves. Also, exercise is a huge stress buster that releases good endorphins.
Your roommate stripped away all of our energy and peace.
There may be a feeling of loss because your roommate situation was disappointing. Start thinking about what you want to replace the loss with. You will start feeling better.
I don’t wish anyone any harm and I truly hope that people are able to improve their lives but I certainly recognize that your roommate brought this on herself and others with her poor choices. She is responsible for her actions.
I wouldn’t count on her being civil or making amends. She is in her own little world! Cut your losses. Move on.
We have to retrain our brains to not focus on how hard life is and start processing our emotions in healthy ways. If we don’t, then we start finding ourselves making bad choices. Anxiety and depression will get the best of us.
If you need a break, take it but don’t allow her to stop you from achieving your goals.
Will be sending good thoughts your way, Ali.
Take care.
My landlady is reluctant to have me change the locks because she says she herself cannot do this as a measure to remove an unwanted tenant. I don't think it's the same circumstances, and I don't think there would be any potential backlash for landlady, but I'm respecting her wishes and trying other things first.
If N tries to stay past Tuesday because she "needs a letter." I'll tell her if I get it another day, I'll let her know and she can come pick it up.
Trespasser.
Have her car towed.
No, "But she keeps saying she needs to get some letter from an insurance company in the mail first." No, No ,No, she doesn't.
She has the rent you refused and a possible Stimulus payment for funds to move. A 30 day notice was given March 19th!
You may be torturing yourself because you already know her words are lies and a delay tactic. Go tell her she cannot stay until Tuesday, her time there is over NOW! Get her number, tell her you will call immediately if any mail arrives. But it won't. See below....
Tell her the forwarding address has already been submitted (where did you send it?) so no mail for her is expected to arrive for her at all! Get a new key to lock up the mailbox. Or tell her that the mail has been put on a vacation hold, and she will have to go in person to the post office to get her mail from now on. If she does not cooperate or comply, she may never get her mail, as it is now under the control of the post office orders.
The gig is up, she cannot stay. Get angry at her, enough so she believes you mean what you say and do.
Back yourself up by changing the locks, do not give her a key. If she has not moved out yet, allow her to come get her stuff by letting her in and out, each time.
most definitely N poses harm. The scariest thing was when she called 911 and reported that I stabbed her. I need to get the incident report to see what it says but the cops told me they could see she was being erratic/irrational, and clearly she wasn't stabbed or injured at all.
RECALL:
"The reason I gave her notice was because twice in one night, at 2am and 5 am, she had left the kettle on the stove unattended. The second time, it boiled dry for so long that handle melted onto the stove and the smoke detector went off. She passes out when she's smoking or cooking, so I think that's a danger, too."
Notice was March 19th. If you allow her to dictate "when" she says she is moving, if you listen to that and do not respond with marching orders, you will be in even more danger! Talk to her in the early morning, by waking her up.
Ask your brother to be present.
As far as you are concerned, tell her she is now a trespasser and to leave your home. You have enough advice to do this legally? You can say almost anything? Where is the nearest motel?
But, you're right, Glad. And if I can just suck it up 1-2 more weeks, I think I'll bounce back pretty well after she's out. I'll have space and peace to do my work each week.
Just had a rough day. Couldn't get myself to do much of anything with my school work and it's a fast pace -- I have to keep on top of it each week. The next couple of days will determine whether I plod on or punt for now.
The online setup seems amenable to my registering for the same classes a few weeks from now. But I'm not positive on that and will have to check.
When is roomie supposed to be out? Thinking of you.
I can call on Monday and see if that's an option. It's only the 2nd week of the course so I know I can withdraw without penalty, but I don't know how long I'd have to wait to reenter another term.
Seems such a small thing on paper. I don't know why I'm bottoming out in my mood, energy, and motivation... but I am.
And I take all those supplements, Send! 😂 All of them, daily.
Just in a real funk and feel like I need this roommate to move out, and then I need to reset, and then start my third term. If this was an option for me, I'd take it. I'll call and ask.