I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Saw that you were on a Keto diet, just mentioned on another thread.
When burnout is happening in our lives, it is not a time to severely limit our nutrients needed to handle stress. Whether the Keto diet is a good one for you
or not, it is missing some of the important vitamins and nutrients. You can try replacing these with supplements, or return to a balanced diet until you feel better. Often, some prescription medications can leach these nutrients from your body.
When stress is happening, here is what I add to my hub's diet to clear his mind, help him think better, and avoid a melt-down.
Chelated Magnesium 450 mg. (magnesium is calming).
B-12 (search higher doses, reported in mcg. not mg.,makes it appear a high dose). Often recommended by experts for schizophrenia.
D3 2000 units. Your needs may be different, a blood test by your doctor can tell if you are deficient in the D vitamin.
Note that magnesium and calcium must be balanced by certain unequal doses-search online or ask a doctor about high doses. (alternative medicine doctor).
Hoping this helps to get your stress levels down and avoid burnout. Maybe see your regular doctor to discuss these things-there may be a physical cause in addition to talking things out in therapy.
Sounds like something that should be reported to your therapist in between visits if the freezing crisis happens again.
You really do need a break, even several small breaks can help.
Decorate that sign, make more than one! A crafts project can help distract you.
Hope you feel better soon!
Sendhelp : the therapist called my crisis freezing crisis because I start crying and then I am like frozen: I'll stop breathing, won't dry my tears nor blow my nose... It happened before like 20 years ago after I got married because of my in-laws. Mil is rather "curious".
Sometimes, I think it all works out better if our (husbands especially) don't know we are nearing burnt out. Men want to fix things. Of course you did not need to hear about the duvet during your bath!
Beware the bath, on the phone, taking a nap behaviors. Some men may have radar that sends an alert: 'She is not available'.
Get real smart, take some "Me" time when others are napping, away from the house, or don't want to be bothered themselves.
I am showering at 4:00 a.m., then go back to sleep. Sneaky, huh?
Keep a low profile, practice stealth.
On the other hand, do reach out to get some help-like from here, or your therapist like you said.
Can you explain your freezing crisis?
Do you have a number to call just to talk?
I so just hurried up... And the big discussion. I am now crying.
In this period I have to solve immediately every problem or question. He then told me it wasn't urgent that I could have enjoyed my bath.
But if it was not urgent why come and ask me while I was reading in my nice hot bath after a heavy day?
As usual the blame was on me...
We will work on this with my therapist next time I go there.
I just don't know how to explain my hubby I am burnt out. He should know... He is the one who saw me having freezing crisis.
He then tells me to rest... When? How?
This is what I have gleaned from reading " here's what the CDC documented as of April 20, collecting data from 45 states and territories. Out of, at the time, 87 million fully vaccinated Americans, there were just over 7,100 reported breakthrough infections. That's about 0.008 percent, odds on the order of being struck by lightning in your lifetime. The bottom line: These vaccines aren't perfect, but they are very good.
As of April 26 the number of deaths from break through's in the USA was 132 . -1% of all break throughs.
Also it is likely there are some very mild cases which aren't being reported so the number of break throughs is a higher than reported.
We are a "hot spot" in the province now with a high number of cases, just when I, presumably, have reached as good immunity as I am going to get - one month after my second Pfizer shot. I guess it is best to keep doing what I have been doing and continue to lie low.
If it is not, then all of the trials and money spent over the years to release any new treatment has been nothing but a money making manipulation.
They don't know how effective, how long it lasts or what the long term effects are of the vaccine. The media doesn't report the facts so we have no way to truly know what is going on beyond our own personal experiences.
So when we needed a vaccine for covid-19, the basis was already there, the pharmacy labs had to get the formula that would work. This time around, while clinical trials were being done, the labs were bottling the vaccine. Usually the bottling happens after all the clinical trials are done.... this was to save time.
Those of us who had the vaccine are not "clinical trials". Yes, there are side effects, no different with any other type of shot one gets. I was in the ER after having my 2nd shingle shot. Never had any prior issues with the polio shot... small pox shot.... tetanus shot.... all the years of flu shots, and pneumonia shots. And there was one more, I think it was a Hep vaccine for my age group.
Everyone has to do what is comfortable, and when in doubt read literature published by medical groups, such as the Harvard Medical Publications.
Still need time off because you can’t get a babysitter, the kids aren’t in school? Taking care of an elderly parent? No problem!!! The post office will pay its employees 100 percent of their pay for 600 hours (15 weeks) until September 30th!!!
Are you still getting your mail on time? We have so many people out of work right now and a lot of them are taking advantage of this HUGE opportunity!!!!
One can still get covid even if full vaccinated but the illness will be low enough so one won't need to be hospitalized or there is no worry about death.
This was already noted in the clinic trials, and in current guidelines. To me, anything to lower my risk is well worth getting :)
*There's also some damage she caused to a vintage cherry cabinet that I can prove, and missing property that I can't prove her responsible for. Idk. It's a lot to think about, for me.
I've thought about offering her the deposit return, despite the expenses I could claim against it. Other roommate left due to smoking, I'll need to have room and curtains etc cleaned (fully furnished room), and I didn't sublet 3rd bedroom directly because of N (cancelled showing the place to a couple of people). And NOW there's no way I'm subletting until I have better vetting process in place and the sting of all this wears off.................. if ever. But then I think about the great roommates I've had and I think it won't be this bad again. That's all for future consideration, I can't even think about it right now.
I'm glad you mentioned the deposit because it because I need to make a decision about it and notify her. I don't think she expects it back. There was a text at one point that told me I could keep it. But. I'd give it to her in full, to get her to move on asap. Hard to think straight about it all under current circumstances.
I could use more input about this. Would you guys offer the full amount as a condition of moving out on Tuesday? Offer the deposit less $100 cleaning costs? Or? Thanks! I feel like maybe it's a no-brainer to offer the full deposit as incentive, like Send said (thank you, Send!) truly just can't think straight about any of this at this point. It's a lot of money to me overall that this experience is costing me.
Time to add an incentive to move-out day.
If you received a deposit, tell her that after all that has happened, you still want her to be able to receive her deposit on the rent back.
So, offer verbally, that moving out before Tuesday will get her deposit back.
(You didn't get a deposit, or last month's rent, did you?)
I hope her "good side" wins here in the short term and she moves on peacefully.
I only experienced a sore arm. Plenty of people feel yucky though.
Trust your gut on this. You have lived through her aggravation long enough.
You are correct in feeling that she needs to find other living arrangements.
Once she leaves, it’s up to her to be responsible for her own life.
Changing the locks is necessary. She will know that she can’t fall back on you. Your door will be closed, permanently!
Frustrating. I sent the rent back and told her if she's not out in a few days, locks will be changed. I believe -- according to everything I've read -- that I'm within my rights to do that. I gave written notice several times. It was ignored. I'm not kicking her out due to lack of rent but because she's a threat to me and property. Covid moratoriums do not apply here.
Welp.
The level of denial, and ego-defenses (thanks, psych classes lol), this person lives in and operates from is really interesting to me. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. 😞
My AstraZeneca vac dose #1;
Bone crushing headache,
Alternating fever & chills,
Felt all my skin was gone,
Then set on fire.
Fatigue for a week.
I am NOT looking forward to dose #2.
I did not need however, emergency dept like some of my collegues! Various ailments inc copious vomiting, arm heamatoma, grotesque facial swelling & heart issues.
Please please please I hope this won't be needed every year!!!
There will be a lot of data to go through from covid. My personal experience, and reading, is telling me that women get more, and worse, side effects from this vac than men do. One thing I read said it could also be due to the dosages not taking into consideration metabolic differences between the sexes, i.e. women could be getting a lower dose that would still be effective for them and lead to lowered side effects. It's interesting to me.
Sorry for your burnout, TG. I sympathize. I hope you get some helpful info from neurologist appt.
Hugs!!!