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Took Mom to the cardiologist today,, had her tests last week, He again brought up her getting a pacer if the need arose ( he brings this up every visit and says its not time yet) We have told him its not on the table .. she is almost 90 and smokes like a fiend, will not stop, she is convinced she will not survive the surgery, and I agree as she wont do the rehab or stop smoking. She asked him last time if he could do it in his office??? WTH ? He said her heart is about what to expect for someone her age and situation. All the way home she was asking about the dang pacer! I told her we had talked about this... and she complains all the time about being ready to "go" and how useless she feels ( that does not come from us, BTW) , So then he schedules a virtual visit in 3 months, even though he said he normally sees her every 6. What the heck can he do from a virtual visit? He can't weigh her, or do her EKG.. he can just ask her how she feels, and bill her insurance.. I may have to change this, what do you all think?
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A neighbour is serenading all of us with a selection of their favourite music. Unfortunately it's not MY favourite music.
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Barb, preach it sista!😁
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Tinted windows on big, high up cars. Was at Costco yesterday and when I returned to my little, low down Honda Fit, I was parked in between a Dodge Durango and a Toyota Highlander, both with very dark tinted windows, meaning that I couldn't see if there was parking lot traffic approaching from either side. GRRRRRR.

Also, just read that Honda is no longer going to offer the Fit in the US after this model year. I have a 2012; it is quite literally THE PERFECT CAR, doesn't cost much (to buy or to own), has amazingly flexible fold down seats for schlepping stuff on vacation or when clearing out junk and is such a joy to park in NYC. I look at a spot and tell my DH, "wait, I can get into that!".

It was also a great car for my mom; she declared it just the right height for elderly folks with mobility challenges to get in and out of.

I needed to get that off my chest...
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Sorry DyingDad, I don't understand what you need or how to help you.
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As far as I can see on that site AgingCare is recommended as a place that "Provides news and information about financial issues important to seniors", there isn't a reference to a downloadable pamphlet. AgingCare does provide a lot of information separate from the forum, if you look at the banner at the top of the page you will find Care Topics, a link to many very good articles. If you click the magnifying glass (between Care Topics and your avatar) you can search the site for specific topics that interest you - add the word articles to your search if you'd rather just find articles about your topic rather than forum discussions. And remember that although the articles are usually updated with recent information any advice given on the forums comes from ordinary people and isn't always accurate.
Oh yes, if you open the menu (to the left of AgingCare on the banner) you can find a link to several downloadable care guides.
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Dyingdad, I have seen that link as well. Unfortunately it is not correct, this site is not a resource for news and financial information for seniors, it is a caregiver forum.

Edit: aging.senate.gov in case anyone wants to look it up.
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Dyingdad, this is a site where people come for emotional support but also to get advice in caring for their loved ones from people who have experienced it and can relate. It's not a government site but I would definitely stay if you want to vent or cry or even have a laugh.

There are those on here who like to criticize but that's real life isn't it? I used to get into it with those people and then realized it's not worth it. Everyone has an opinion. There are trolls who come on here to cause strife. You get that with most forums. I'm sorry if you had a bad experience but we are mostly good, kind supportive folks on here.
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AgingCare is not a government site (in fact it is owned by A Place For Mom, a private corporation) and the forum is a place where caregivers (people just like you) from across America and around the world meet to share advice and information about caring for their elders. I think you had better check your sources because you really do seem to have this site confused with something else.
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Just because people post on the forum doesn't mean they are following every thread, I had to go back to check what you are so angry about and as far as I can see only one person dissed you and they apologized - What is it you want from us?
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I can't say that everyone gets called that Dyingdad but many of us have been slapped one way or another on this forum. Sometimes people are having a bad day and are stressed from their own issues so they misunderstand and/or lash out in an unhelpful way, then there are those whose life experiences are so different that they can not see the OP's point of view, there are the smug and self righteous who lack empathy, and finally there are those who like to stir the pot and make trouble. I think what Gershun was trying to say was that you just need to learn to keep the good and discard the rest.
(I do sympathize, I hid for weeks after my first nasty encounter)
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Hang in there Xrayjodib 😍. Literally. I came across the saying 'when at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it & hang on'.

The tax, the paperwork, each new ball of cr@p, ask yourself who else would do this if I could not? Local tax agent? Some sort of agency care manager? What is the lesser evil? Handballing it or doingit yourself?

Please do three really nice things for yourself today, some music you love, watch the clouds, a lie down with a heat pack, whatever YOU like 💜💜💜
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I HATE being a whiner, but today I am feeling like I am about at the end of my rope and you all are my sanctuary if you will!
Dealing with my narcissistic mother in ALF, my Aunt being moved to Memory care this weekend , still dealing with my colon cancer diagnosis and now I have a herniated disc in my neck that is causing me extreme pain and may require surgery I am totally at the breaking point!
I dug deep this morning and spent several hours working on tax forms for Mom, more paperwork for my Aunt, several calls to freaking Kaiser trying to get them to simply fax the updated diagnosis of Alzheimer's to my Aunts ALF so her move will go smoothly.
I am in extreme pain and I have reached the point that I just don't want to deal with any of it!
I know I can't give into self pity, but sometimes you reach the point that you you don't understand why so much has been dumped on you!
I am a woman of faith! I know God has a plan! I am just so tired!!
God bless all of us that are struggling with hurt, pain, illness and self doubt!!
Give us strength to carry on!!
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Gershun, because some people are rude and judgemental here. She didn't do anything wrong or say anything to catch the h3ll she got.
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Dyingdad I feel like I've missed something. Were you catching hell from people on here and if so why? People on this forum are usually pretty tolerant. If you said something that caused a problem then c'est la vie.

Whether that makes you a bad person or not, well I would let yourself be the judge of that. What we say on here doesn't encompass all we are as people. I've misspoke on here before and got told. Life goes on. Just pull your socks up and try again.
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Not a hurricane winds went from nearly nothing to 40 to 50 mph instantly. We have occasional heat bursts which are really strange.

One of the most famous heat bursts ever recorded happened on June 9, 2011 in Kansas, when the temperature in Wichita rose to over 100 degrees during the middle of the night.

My comfort range is 70-75 as well. I would rather have 20 below than 90 any day.
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We use C so I had to look the F measurements up! That's quite a cool change! Was it a hurricane?

My DH jokes my comfort range is only 73 - 75 😃
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Now 65, much better.
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103 degrees an hour ago, way, way too hot for me! Then the winds started, close by storms, temp down to 91, that is a bit better, but the winds!
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Not too much of a whine for me, more for my mother. Middle of the night last night, mom started screaming" ouch, you hurt me". thought one of us was some how hurting her, but she was biting her own hand, kicking and yelling. No teeth mind you, dentures soaking. This scene usually happens in the middle of the night. My mother dislikes waking her up for a turn and change. This morning big smile, told me she slept well and asked me how I slept.
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The credit card company should be happy to reverse the payment If you call them. I made two $4,000 payments to capitol one a few years ago because I got an error message when I tried to make the payment. I tried again and the payment went through. And then 2 days later I checked the bank account nearly died when I saw that both payments went through. I called capitol one immediately and they reversed one of the payments and gave me 1200 points.
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Cwillie,
well for some reason for the last two months I shaved 20.00 off my rent.
I have no clue why I did that. The make up check memo read : back rent because I am a moron
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Cwillie, you are not alone. My DH accidentally transfered funds to the Tax Dept instead of whatever bill he should have paid. He called but they had a no return policy - would hold it against his future tax obligations. Not happy was an understatement!

Hopefully your CC company have some humans that are more flexible.
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CW, if you are a regular okay payer, I find that if I call the CC company and plead "once only", especially in this time of pandemic, both of these companies are likely to a. forgive the missed payment charges and b. send you a check for what you paid.

This happened to me a LOT right after my mom died and it happened to me just last month when I was very distracted due to COVID, family illness and doing a big fundraising project. The CC company was happy to do a refund.
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Sorry that was just a conditioned knee jerk reaction, mom left me OK money-wise.
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Sh** sh** sh**, I just opened a bill and discovered I inadvertently missed a big CC payment because I paid the amount to the wrong charge card account, one I seldom use. It will take me forever to use up that credit, I want my $$ back😢
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Notry, I suspect he is afraid of losing her because he will no longer receive her disability monies. Is that a possibility? It sounds like Child Protective Services should be involved.
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I'm a high risk person with this Covid thing. A friend of mine has her son, his wife, their autistic teenager, her disabled low mobility daughter plus her son all in this trailer. I am blessed to have a good friend who has raised a child with autism. She told me what to share with him, but he wants me to come visit like that will help him feel less alone. His mother is a special ed teacher who is retired and at the end of her rope.

The doctor that the child had is dead, but there is so much fear about possibly losing her to the state, that they have done noting.

My gut tells me that they are expecting a miracle, when the miracle will take some time with the guidelines that I can mail them in the morning with a promise to make a non overnight visit next Thursday.

The teenage girl is 13 and weighs 150. She has really packed some bruises on her dad. His focus is on I don't want to loose her, when it needs to be how can I get her the help she needs.

He's never held a job and had great offers in the past, but had dreams of a band going. His wife is a drunk and drank while pregnant. Dare not mention fetal alcohol syndrome.

I want to help, but he tells me that everyone in the trailer hates each other. I've talked with him 3 times on the phone and pointed out that her violent meltdowns means she's a risk to others and please call 911 to get her helped.

ssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Update: My mother just apologized to us. I did not get mad at her, and I know she did not mean what she said to us. She is looking at me smiling, and now crying because she feels bad.. She just told us we are no dumbbells' and that we are the best. Bless her heart.
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My niece and I were just called a bunch of dumbbells' by my mother. My niece was feeding her lunch, and I was in the kitchen making macaroni salad for tomorrow listening to some July 4TH music. I asked my mom what was the matter, and she said she wanted some brown sugar and the food was rotten. I then gave her a fudge bar. She did eat a little pasta with sauce after her dessert. She just told me her lunch was a mistake, it was not sweet enough. I told her I did not appreciate her calling us dumbbells', she said she wanted something sweet. I guess I have to go with the flow. Can't win when it comes to sweets some days!!
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