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Dizzy, I'm sorry for your loss.
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Dizzy,
I'm sorry about your husband. Grace and Peace be with you.
Love,
Boots
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Thank you, NHWM and Pam.
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Cali,

It isn’t appropriate for your BIL to drag your family into his mess. Honestly, I would feel used. So, is he taking advantage of the situation due to it being convenient to use your husband and purposely making it harder for his soon to be ex because it is hurtful and embarrassing to be served by a family member. I would not want to be in the middle of it if I were your husband.
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So sorry, Dizzy and Beatty. Beatty, I like your necklace idea.
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Oh Dizzy and Beatty, I am so sorry for you both. My prayers are with you both
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My husband died last Saturday.
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Not a whine... but Mum in ER with a *lump* in the heart. Clot or tumour are the guesses so far. Sister fallen 2x this week & ambos called... A glass of red & some pillow time is needed here.
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freqflyer and Beatty: a gently LOL, more of a chuckle as we all understand. Mom is 94 but doesn't understand the number :)
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Myownlife, I remember those days driving my folks. We would start off at the doctor's office [back to back appointments], then after Mom would have to go to three different grocery stores as each had a really great sale on whatever. Mom would throw out the guilt if I said no. And it worked !!

Usually after all of that running around, Dad would announce he wanted to go to Home Depot. WhenI heard that, I would say to myself "God, take me now" :P

I love Home Depot, more interesting than a grocery store for me, but I had already put in time at work, and I was soooo tired.

I know, I should have set boundaries, but my folks still viewed me as that 16 year old who loved to drive, instead of a senior citizen driving much older seniors.
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Myownlife: I used to wear a particular necklace when 'on duty' for that 2 hours, half day etc. I was just the accompanying person as she couldn't go alone. If I thought of it like a job, I didn't feel so resentful. I did have to sometimes ensure there was a proper end time though or things could drift on all day. Then I went home, took off the necklace - job done 😀 & did what I needed/wanted.
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Mom and I got our hair done this afternoon and then she wanted to shop.

2 hours following her around trying to keep her focused in her department (petite) as she tried to go to the plus size and then return to petite. I said oh no we have already been here and I am tired :)

Soon as we left the brightly lit store and headed outside in the dark with her pushing her walker (way too far ahead of her as always) she heads for a white car. I turned her to the right one. She said, when did we get that car? And I said, well, we got it before we went into that store!!

Then she didn't recognize her purse ... and so it goes :) Guess the Sundowner's kicked in when we went outside into the dark. And yet another day is almost done.
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I don't like the feeling I get when someone is playing mind games with my head!
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Beatty, good for your husband! I sympathize with anyone going through a separation but there has to be boundaries. I want to be supportive of both BIL and exSIL but there has to be boundaries. They had a child together.l, my nephew. ExSIL is still my kids aunt. No one will benefit is sides are taken and we all get involved. It’s a difficult situation to navigate, that’s for sure. I see no reason to take sides or cut exSIL out of our lives. But not everyone feels the same way.
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Cali, feel your pain. My in-laws going thru separation now. At first there were msgs & long chats at all hours to DH. But he must have decided he was not the therapist (I am standing WELL out). Now we are letting that blow up over there - not in our little world.

Like being in a Road Runner cartoon & watching the explosion from a distance. I hope you can get some distance too although being supportive if that's how you feel.
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My BIL has apparently filed for divorce this week and has asked my husband to serve to his ex with the papers! On Monday he posted something cryptic on FB tagging the court house as his location, it said something like “today is a dark hour in my life. The death of something that nothing had more important. I feel betrayed”. And the yesterday he asked my husband to serve his soon to be ex-wife with the divorce papers! I got a text from exSIL yesterday too so I knew something was up. I haven’t responded to the text yet, figured she wanted something because that’s the only time I hear from her. I guess I don’t understand why they insist on dragging us in to this. If my BIL needs someone to serve the papers, is it really appropriate to ask his brother to do it? I can’t even believe my husband has agreed to it, to be honest. Anyway this is my whine moment of the day.
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xrayjodib, you have to get involved asap.

We had a local company doing this type of thing and they were actually stealing all of the belongings they were supposed to be transporting.

I would make your brother get his butt involved and sort this out.

Can mom afford to rent a few items to help her get by until her things arrive? What does she really need to get by, bed, chair, plate, fork, spoon, coffee pot? I would be renting and hitting the thrift stores to get her outfitted to go live her life. You don't want her getting settled in with you.

I would not let her ruin the peace of your home.
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My whine is that the Mods keep moving posts I've entered as discussions over to questions, and since they are really framed as discussion points they inevitably get bumped off the front page and die. 😒
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Pperhaps your brother has a copy of the contract?

Are you sure that's what mom was told? There are plenty of long haul moving companies out there. Find another one.
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Yes I know I'm whining, but I'm just gonna ask ya'll.
Please tell me I'm not the only one grieving the loss of my once quiet little life?
Since I became responsible for my Aunt in October, I have been buried with paperwork and trying to make sure she's well taken care of from a thousand miles away. Trying to get ready for the arduous task of doing her taxes. Still not sure what to expect!
My mother who was supposed to have been moved into her retirement home (again total narcissist) has been staying with me for almost two weeks. Waiting on the movers. She can't find her contract with them. After several phone calls they told her today that they can't find anyone to drive to Montana with her stuff. She was living with my brother. He helped facilitate the move. What the hell was he thinking?
So I am absolutely overwhelmed and just whining cuz I want my life back. I know that things are never gonna be the same, but I can't help but long to hit the rewind button to 4 months ago.
Thanks for letting me vent!
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kellse,

Why is it that some men cannot stand to be alone? They don’t grieve, they replace their wife. My FIL did this. He said, “I don’t want to be alone.” The woman he was with spent a ton of his money. He traveled the world with her. Had an affair with her while my MIL was dying of lymphoma. So sad. Two weeks after MIL died he moved this woman into his house.

So sorry you are going through this.
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Kellse, my dad lost everything because of a young thang. Please do whatever you can to protect him. I am talking about a lifetime of hard work, multi millions.

Thankfully she couldn't get his SS or he would have been destitute, and she tried, didn't want to be responsible for annual reporting and having to prove that every penny was spent on him.

You can report her for financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior and maybe get it stopped.
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Apparently my father has a girlfriend (mom died jan 11) 35 years old, lives in France and is a surgeon. My dad is 85 and has a fair amount of money. Yeah okay dad ... He said she contacted him somehow first. I bet she did. We all know its a scam (except him),sadly people never listen to good advice when it involves a love interest.
He will have to lose some money before he will realise its a scam. I am upset because some of that will be my mothers money.
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My mom is now gone and I am full of guilt for not being more patient. I took care of her for 5 years. Not always good. I ended up sending her to my brothers and she didn’t last 6 months. I brought her home to hospice and I pray that she forgives me for all of my shortcomings. Hang in there caregivers.
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OMG I will ck it out. Thank you
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Tee, it looks like there is an adult day care in Waterford, just a few miles away.
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Tee, do you have a senior community center? That would be where the program is operated.
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I would love it if there was adult day care in my area even outside my area but there is not!
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Did it expire at the end of 2017 or the beginning?
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And did you take it anyway?
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Full blown severe allergy attack starting last night and my Claritin in my cabinet is dated 2017!

I called my daughter and told her that I have sneezed a bazillion times and she needs to come pick up her dog. I have been dog sitting for her.

My fault for snuggling too much with him. He’s a love bug. But now I feel funky. I am going to soak in a steamy tub and hubby is bringing home Claritin for me.
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