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Cali,

How are you enjoying your new SUV? Sometimes I wish that I could walk everywhere. Hahaha

I get tired of driving. Has anyone noticed their spouses driving has changed somewhat? My husband used to slow down at a normal rate for traffic signals. Now he waits almost until the last second. Kind of annoying. I must be getting old! Hahaha I am driving more cautiously.
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Madge that sounds very much like a California DMV! I had a similar experience when we got our real IDs. Hubby’s drivers license expired in February, mine in March. Right after Christmas 2018, I went to the DMV website and scheduled us appointments to get real IDs, I was able to get January appointments. I forget why but we had to cancel the January appointments. I rescheduled for Valentine’s Day. So Valentine’s Day we went down and hubby got his real ID but I couldn’t get mine because all I had was a copy of my birth certificate. So after I got a new “official” copy, I went online to make a new appointment, it’s now about 2.5 weeks before my license expires and course the next appointment available was in MAY!!! I tried all 3 DMVs in this county and May was the soonest I could get an appointment. So the next day I just went down to the DMV as soon as they opened (9am) and there was no line and I was in and out within 20 minutes!

Our local paper just published a silly story about how the DMV is sexist toward women when it comes to issuing real IDs. No what is sexist is thinking that a)only women change their name and b)only women change their name when they get married. Truth is, gender has nothing to do with it. Anyone who has changed their name, whether they are man, woman, don’t identify or identify as a damn cat, has to jump through an extra hoop in order to get a real ID. And there are men who do take their wife’s name upon marriage too so they have to jump the extra hoop!
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Madge, no kiosks in shopping centers either? When I last had to renew in person, about 20 years ago, that was the best and easy option here.

What a pain!
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Glad

I searched online from the mountains to the sea to the high desert and found only one appointment in early Feb which is still after my birthday - without a real ID DL, won't be able to board a plane after Sep 2020, so this must be the reason there are no appointments

my license has been auto renewed twice during the past 15 years so I have to go in person - did look again at mailer and it says I only need to take a vision test so that's good - although I probably need new glasses

it's set to rain again Monday - hope no one else is waiting in line when local DMV office opens at 7 am
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Madge, do you have to go to the county registrar in the county you reside? When I was a kid, we could go to any office. So went to a neighboring jurisdiction with much shorter lines and wait times, and rumored to be easier on driving tests😉. Well, it was only rumor, it took me three times. That aside, it is pleasant being in a rural area. I just had to renew my license, went to the office and only one person in front of me in line, and there were two clerks!

The last time, eight years ago (?) I renewed I was able to do it online, easy peasy.
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Finally made it to the county registrar to request my birth certificate for my real ID license - the clerk said it would be mailed within 20 business days so decided I better just renew my driver's license without it

went online to book an appointment with the DMV and the next available time is not until mid-March - WTH - my license expires the end of January 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Luckily, I only need to take a vision test (old glasses though) so I'm hoping if I just brave the early morning cold and queue up at 6 am Monday I can get in without an appointment 😬😬😬😬😬
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oh , ell
up at 2 am , might as well stay up . the jerks at the forest havent been giving me a freedom challenged helper for a few days . ive been working too hard for a 60 ish yr old person . it ruins my evening what with the aches and pains and tired brain so if i want any quality leisure time it has to be in the early morning hours .

on a bright note , my girl boss has been treating me very sweetly . she SHOULD appreciate me . my good worksmanship makes her look more effective .
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You know how they say to be careful what you wish for? I remember rambling on to my SIL about wanting a simple pedometer and guess what, I've now got a Fitbit. Aside from the fact I was completely blindsided and didn't buy gifts for any of them I now am obligated to install, sync and wear it. My nephew said I should friend him and we could encourage and challenge each other --- oh h3ll no!
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Pam,

Hope your daughter is feeling better very soon. Merry Christmas To and your family.
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Cwillie and Worried, I am thinking its not the flu also after talking to her,, her fever is already going down. I am worried about the oldies ( and hubs and I) so we'll see what tomorrow brings. Maybe we can wrap her in plastic wrap.. or have her wave from the car.. or peer into the windows looking all sad.. The hospital is breeding crap also,, everyone has had a stomach bug or cold symptoms. We all look like bandits with our face masks on... We told her we would do all the family tradition stuff when she feels better. She does sometimes get the "morning after a big celebration with her friends" flu.. but normally no fever. It was only 99.4 so not big
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Earthquakes near our friends in Canada.......
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So sorry Pam! Hope it’s just a 24 hour stomach flu & your daughter is able to spend Christmas with the family.
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That sounds like norovirus, not the flu. Nephew 3's workplace has had a lot of staff off since their holiday party with the same thing - seem like somebody was in the giving spirit. We were interested to read that people are still contagious for 48 hours after they have their last episode of vomiting or diarrhea, I would be careful about getting close to your dear daughter too soon.
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Well my day has just gone sideways. My daughter was coming over tonight for early Christmas eve, and early Chistmas tomorrow. She calls,, she has what sounds like flu.. Puking, fever, chills,, you name it. So with my 89 YO mom, 98 YO FIL, 76 YO cousin all here tomorrow... there goes the family Christmas! Oh well, if she is not dramatically better tomorrow, we'll go on with out her, after I run over to get dessert from her! We can always do our gifts Friday when she should be on the mend, but what a bummer!
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yup , early .

i get up at 4 ; 30 so i have time for coffee and the subsequent bowel movement . then all the winter clothing layers , cell phone , boot knife , ' after work beer ' , etc
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my Ent suggested allergy shots - said it was a 5 year commitment- I laughed and said I’m not really bothered much by them

of course today I’ve been sneezing all day

I guess I need to clean the house 😂


my dentist started my crown - said the two complications I had during root canal were rare and he suggested I try and get through the 2 hour procedure without more novacaine so as not to cause more trouble-

I could really care less about Xmas this year - I’ll be spending it at hoca with the Viking - not a word from her other kids or grandkids
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yikes Early
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I work tomorrow too, Cap and if I wasn’t taking vacay days, I’d be working Xmas eve and Thursday and Friday
I always work Friday after thanksgiving too
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eh ,
we have to work monday , thursday , and friday out at the forestry . it seems strange because the state observes holidays that are yet to be created . monday ougtta be heterosexual caucasion male day -- not holding my breath though .
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Earlybird, sorry to hear that!!! Hope you heal quickly!!


Just got off the phone with mom & she listened to me & started the steroids and doing breathing treatments and she is feeling much better! Best of all, she coming down for Christmas!!!!! I am so happy, my heart is so full!!! My dad isn’t coming but I had forgotten that my late uncle’s (damn last month was the 10 year anniversary of his unexpected passing. Miss you uncle Andy) wife always drives down with my parents for Christmas & they drop her off at her sisters house. So she will driving down with mom!
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Earlybird,

Ouch! Hope you heal quickly.
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Yeow earlybird, that's why I always, always unplug before I go near the blade of any kitchen appliance. 😲
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Making pureed food and got my fingers in the blade. Lots of bleeding, to ER and Dr glued my two fingers. Looked forward to making Christmas cookies with mom, but will wait until Monday or Tuesday. Dumb mistake rushing to make my mothers breakfast after her meds, slept in so it was late in the morning. Better now.
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worriedinca,
i dont put up with electronics bullying me . my 91 sonoma had a couple of fuel injection farts and i fitted a brand new 2 barrel carburetor on it . i carry a new inline fuel pump in the glove box -- takes about 10 minutes to replace if mine fails .

i guess you dont have that kind of freedom out in commiefornia .

yea , i have a hand choke -- i say what mixture my engine likes until it warms up .
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Gershun, if you lived closed by, I’d adopt you in to the family just like my parents did with friends that had no family to spend the holidays with. You could the holidays with our crazy clan! I’ve learned that you don’t have to be blood related to be family. Even as our blood relations dwindle, I hope we make new friends to spend the holidays with. I really don’t want any more lonely holidays myself.

I am not at all suicidal but I understand now why there are so many suicides this time of year. So
much pressure to be happy and with family. So much loneliness.The feeling has come & gone since I talked to my mom yesterday and she gave me the bad news but I’ve had moments where I just can’t wait for Christmas to be over and done with! Just get it all over and move on.
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Pam, I got my first collision alert yesterday on the way home from Best Buy! I was driving down a 2 lane rd and a SUV was coming towards me. They were in their lane & I was in mine, no one crossed the line yet the seat vibrated and I got a red warning on the dash! Sometimes it does seem like these fancy new cars are out to kill us!

this whole situation with my mom and Christmas has me officially depressed. Can’t shake the feeling of sadness and doom. In part because everything is different this year, my parents won’t be here, my in-laws won’t be here, and I’m not cooking a big meal and have planned something entirely different this year. 2nd Christmas in 12 years that my parents won’t be here. I had strongly suspected this would be the last year they came down, they are 71 and my moms health just gets worse every year. So does dads. Then there’s my mom. I don’t know if she’s actually sick or if the COPD has progessed a lot. She’s up to 4 liters oxygen and can’t walk but a few feet at a time. She hasn’t felt well for a few weeks and has a horrible horrible cough! So I’ve got a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m not sad if my brother has relapsed again. I’ve accepted his decisions long ago. I haven’t stressed or worried in years (well i’ve Worried he’d snap and do something to my parents but I haven’t worried about his physical well being in years). So if he drinks himself to death, it is what it is. And honestly it will make things easier after moms gone because I will be able to help my dad with his controlling and interference. My dad has never ever paid the bills in 42 years of marriage and has no idea what their bills even are. I will have to step in and take those over and I dread it. My brother has no idea what the bills are or how mom pays him but no doubt he is going to try to take control. So all of this is constantly running through my mind.

the family just gets smaller and smaller and it’s like history is repeating itself. Life was never the same after my grandma died in 87 and we stopped having a Christmas Eve party. Christmas got smaller and smaller each year and it usually just us 4 and my uncle. Then my parents started inviting a couple friends but Christmas small and I wished we had a big family to spend it with. With the death of my MIL, Christmas will never be the same and the family is much much smaller. Pretty soon it will just be the 4 of us. And that really makes me sad. I hate that my kids will feel the same way my brother and I did. It was lonely. And I know better now-I know that a big family isn’t necessarily sunshine and rainbows. But when you don’t have much of a family, it seems so wonderful to have grandparents, aunts, uncles and lots of cousins around!

So yes holiday depression is in full affect. I think I need to have a good cry sometime today so that I can pull it together and fake it enough that the kids can still enjoy Christmas.

needhelp, my heart is with you this Christmas. I’m so sorry things ended this way with your mom. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your husband and daughters—you deserve it!
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katie - what a next set of challenges!!! Yes, focus on healing yourself It's not an easy job, nor is caring for your mil I know (((((((hugs))))))
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Katie,

I wish you all the best. I hope that you find the support that you need. I hope that you find healing and peace in your life.
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I really need to break free from this particular thread. Over the years so many other caregivers on here were supportive while my mom was bedridden in my home.. I wish them all well. Many have disappeared and moved on. 2020 is a new year and I need to focus on healing myself, care giving for MIL so my husband does not become more ill, finding support, and moving forward.
There is a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror. To all those who are struggling with care giving or the loss of a loved one, I wish you all the best.
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Cali,

Sorry about your brother. Life has a way of catching up to them when they abuse their bodies. Happened to my brother too. It’s sometimes hard for me to believe he’s been dead since 2013. He had the liver issue too. It was different circumstances from your brother, not as much drinking, as most know on this site, his issue was drugs so he died from HepatitisC. It’s hard to watch a sibling destroy their life so I empathize with you.

I won’t see my mom for Christmas either. First time in my 64 years and I am trying to cope as best I can. It’s hard. Since she lives with my brother and his wife now I have been shut out of her life.

I can’t be around my brother since he threatened to go after me for elder abuse when mom complained to him because she didn’t get her way with everything.

Sadly, I lost my relationship with mom now when all I got was criticism and I told her if they can do better then go live with them.

I tried forever to have a relationship with my brother but he and I are just too different.

Mom couldn’t accept the boundaries I set and she always favored my brothers even though I was the one closest to my parents and did everything for them.

Mom pitted us against each other. My brothers used my parents to get money. I never did that. Oh well... I have no choice but to accept the way things are. My younger brother is just as bad.

I feel like an orphan now, no family. I do have a couple of cousins and my nieces and nephews that I see. I am grateful for that. Most of all I cherish my husband and daughters.

Yeah, so the holidays are especially emotionally hard for me this year. Still I am glad not to have the responsibility of being mom’s caregiver anymore. I did it for 15 years in my home and it nearly killed me. I love mom. I wish the best for her. I don’t know where she will end up, hospice in brother’s house or a facility or if I will even be told when she dies. I can’t focus on it for too long because I will sink into a deep depression. I want to live in the present and move forward. I can’t ever get the years back that I devoted to mom so I want to make the most of the years that I have left on this earth.
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