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Not a whine moment but alarm bells are going off. Maybe not alarm bells but I’m now feeling anxious about thanksgiving. Got a text from my BILs ex wife out of the blue late Tuesday night. Don’t know what she actually wanted, we talked about the kids for a minute and then I got in the shower and went bed so I stopped responding to the texts. I wondered if she was going to bring up thanksgiving and finagle an invitation. I am fine with her coming but I do not know how my husband and his brother & sister would feel about that & my husband was out of town so I didn’t invite her even though I wanted to. I forgot all about it until just now when.....my BIL just posted on FB that he is in a relationship with someone! So now I am wondering, and this is because of past history with my BIL and his ex wife and holidays, is there some drama over this new relationship? My BIL also has a history of waiting until major holidays to introduce us all to the new woman in his life. I am having flashbacks to thanksgiving of 2015 which is the year BIL and ex wife separated for the 2nd time and we had major drama just before thanksgiving because he jumped in to a relationship with a woman who was bat sh*t crazy and he insisted on bringing her to our family thanksgiving (they had been dating for like 3 weeks and she was all over Facebook proclaiming how in love they were, it was just nuts!). We hosted that year and got dragged in to it all. Ex SIL said she could be civil but didn’t want the new GF there. BIL insisted the new GF be there, husband didn’t want the new GF there because he didn’t want drama and he thought it wasn’t the time or the place for us to all be introduced to the new GF. His sister agreed with but. In the end. We gave in and he did bring her but they were over 3 hours late because she wouldn’t get off her butt & get ready so they walked in just as my in-laws were getting ready to leave! So now I can’t help but wonder.....is history repeating itself yet again (it always does with these people)? Thanksgiving is just days away....my BILs ex wife is still family and I’ve told her she is always welcome here. I just don’t know what to think about all of this and I am feeling very anxious like I should anticipate my ex SIL coming and my BIL trying to bring the new GF.....history repeating itself.......i’m Happy for my BIL but the first family holidays since the separation are not the best time to introduce us to new people. I mean he is still married to my ex SIL.......hoping this all means nothing and we will have the nice peaceful holiday I’ve been anticipating.
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Exvee, our good friends parents behave the same way! He too is single without a wife and children. Retired from his career but has a part time job teaching. Mom constantly complains they don’t see him enough and is always saying “do I even have a son?”? All it does is make him to be around them even less! And like he says, it’s a 2 way street they can call and come visit him. They just expect HIM to go them. It’s a 30 minute drive. They are snowbirds and are currently at their Florida house. So they can easily come over here to see their son but they don’t. They just complain about never seeing him!
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Exveemon,

When they start complaining walk out.
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Everytime I come visit my parents they complain that I dont visit enough (rolls eyes)...

"why would you rather spend all your free time in an apartment by yourself instead of helping us"

Geez I dont know...so I can sleep in peace. So I can do what I want during the day instead of being on my parents' schedule. So I dont have to listen to parents' nagging.

Because for the 11th time JUST BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A WIFE AND CHILDREN, IT DOESNT MEAN I DONT HAVE A LIFE.

YOU DONT HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO LEAVE YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE!
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There's a nice guy underneath though right Captain?
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hellebore,
i ( like a dumbass ) wasted time seeing a ( female kid ) therapist for 6 months after my son was killed . it took her 6 months to work up the nerve to tell me i was probably a jerk .
kinda slow -- that one .
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Thanks everyone. Hope none of you ever have to have dialysis. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
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So sorry to hear about this, Becky. One of my family members went through it and I can't imagine it was much fun.

My whine: Several of my elderly aunts & 1 uncle are advanced age, with severe health problems. My mother is particularly close to the aunt for whom I am named - I am too but I'm apparently not allowed to be upset over what's likely her death pretty soon because my mother screams at me over everything from how little I'm allegedly doing to help (I'm cooking, running errands, feeding pets etc) to how little I'm allegedly supporting her (hours and hours on the phone every week which is really taking it out of me.) I know she's just taking stress and fear out on me which is understandable but this is hard for me too. Usually I'm pretty good at setting boundaries with her but now it seems like absolutely everything sets her off. I've started keeping my distance which sucks because she's always with my aunt, so that means I can't see her as much.

Really feels like losing both of them, on top of the other relatives who likely don't have long left. I've been meaning to try to find a counselor but I don't even really know where to start. I don't want to call one out of the phone book but I may get desperate soon.
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Hugs, Becky. We are here for you anytime. I've never been through hemodialysis but I've known people that have, and they say it takes a lot out of you. Hope you are able to get some rest and get to feeling a little better.
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Becky you hang in there, you have been through so much, and better days MUST be ahead.
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I think dialysis is another one of those things that aren't properly understood by the general public, I know I was no different from everyone else when I believed the time it took was the only downside. We have too much faith in the medical community's ability to fix us 100% and all those "brave" public figures who don't admit to suffering through toxic anxiety while often feeling like a pile of chit warmed over don't help matters at all. There's nothing brave about living with illness - it's not like you have a choice in the matter, and if you can't cope with aplomb does that make you a coward? Vent all you like Becky.
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There is one good thing - or at least I thinks it’s good. You don’t have to pee - maybe once a day. Sometimes none.🙂
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Becky

You are one of the strongest people I’ve encountered and you should come to us to rant as often as you like

hugs to you

MsM
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Becky,
Your favorite music on your favorite technology with earbuds?

You truly are facing a difficult challenge.

I think you can do this.
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Hardly a rant Becky. And you are entitled all things considered.

Keep looking up if you can. HUGS
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I started on hemodialysis about 3 weeks ago. I took all of the educational classes, follow the diet, follow all of the instructions. Despite all of this, it is an unpleasant experience. I can understand the people who decide to discontinue treatment and pass away quietly. Not planning on going that route, but it’s difficult. It plays with your head. Hard to read and concentrate. Same with knitting and crocheting. End up sitting there listening to the machine noises. And there is all of the stuff they don’t tell you until it happens. The fatigue is the worst. And living from the end of one treatment to the beginning of the next is no way to live. I don’t discuss with people at work, in the community or family. They don’t want to hear. Sorry for the rant.
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Yes worried, that's the one I just saw. I bawled. So sad!
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Gershun I just saw a video of a woman rescuing a burned koala from the fires! So heartbreaking! Praying he pulls through.
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Lets all pray for the koalas. They said they risk losing two thirds of them due to the fire situation in Australia. I just saw the news report. Just devastating.😢
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Thanks for the tip annonymous! Hubby has tried 2 masks and he still makes the fart noises in his sleep so I don’t know what it is? He’s very open to fixing the problem but I don’t know if I can get him to wear a headband haha!0
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Don't feel too bad about occasional fast food when you need a break from food prep. You can make fast food choices that are not completely devastating to your health and figure. Avoid the fried and gooey--choose wisely then after your break go back to making your own healthier food. Prepare generous quantities of some basics, divide into serving portions and freeze. Take out (in time to thaw) servings as needed. If you can do that for at least dinners or maybe dinners and lunches, then you don't have to spend mind-numbing hours EVERY DAY preparing food.
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Worried in Cali, I could be mask farts. I get them too (I sleep with a cpap as well). I ended up getting headbands from the dollar tree...No problems since.
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my whine moment is that I foolishly thought I would sleep better while my husband was away (cpap machine makes him make weird noises with his lips like fake fart/raspberry sounds that keep me awake). Boy was I wrong! Wish he was coming home today instead of tomorrow because I do not sleep as soundly when he’s not in bed next to me and I wake more frequently!
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Msmadge if you can get some clove oil, it will help with pain until you get to dentist.
Tooth pain is on the top of the list of excruciating.
Best wishes
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I suggest taking an antibiotic when he starts on the tooth. It can't hurt and it certainly could help if there is any infection that could spread to the bone. You probably won't have the same situation but I had to have surgery for a fractured jaw from a failed root canal. My mouth may never return to normal.
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looks like my molar has a couple of cracks - have to hold on til Wednesday morning -
dentist won't know if I need a crown until he gets in there but he was able to avoid a crown 10 years ago for me with an inlay when I lost half my back molar

I'm hopng the Advil kicks in soon
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Cwillie,

I agree with Barb - champagne 🍾 with donuts 🍩 is so much better

fantastic news
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Cwillie,
Wonderful News!
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Hallelujah! Cwillie.

We are all doing a happy dance for you. :)
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Hellebore; there is just so much drama one can take. Make yourself less available for a couple of days--have a small emergency of your own.
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