I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Is it perhaps time to change something else in the scene, rather than hoping that your mother will finally get the message and stop annoying the bejeepers out of you?
My mother was forever picking imaginary loose threads off my sleeve. This was of course completely harmless. It was even quite sweet, really, I suppose, her way of showing loving care towards her child. All the same I still shudder about it now. If she'd crept up on me in the way that yours does to you, oh crikey, I can't imagine.
But my mother had vascular dementia, I didn't expect her to stop. Still wished she wouldn't do it, only didn't expect any different.
You couldn't, perhaps, move the furniture around so that at least you always spot her coming?
Me: PLEASE don't come up behind me and hang on the back of my chair.
Mom: (the victim, sounding hurt yet again) Why do you always get upset with me?! You need to be nice to me.
Me: Then stop coming up behind me like I have asked before.
Mom: I don't understand why you always get upset with me.
Me: BECAUSE I have asked you more than 10-15 times before to stop coming up behind me and leaning on the back of my chair.
Mom: (no answer, no apology) AGAIN .... ignores what I ask .....
I don't have a lot of pain, thankfully, so I take ibuprofen for that. NSAIDs work well enough for me in regard to pain.
But, I am overwhelmed with the number of campaign texts I get. Probably figured out I will not answer unknown calls.
And I got the "Computer" call too today ff;(
Even my cellphone is now getting these robo calls, oh my gosh I won a free trip !! So lately I've been keeping the ringer off. I don't use the cell much anyway, hard to hear on it.
Anyway, you’ve been doing all the ‘caregiving’ for your father. Isn’t it time that other family step in to give you a break? That’s how I viewed it when bedridden mom and also bedridden dad ended up hospitalized. Why should I spend nights and day with them when family members chose to do it? I enjoyed myself immensely without worrying since it’s their turn.
Just remind yourself, if a medical emergency comes up during that fishing trip, they can call 911. That’s what I told family when I travelled off island.
I know that doctors hate it when patients self diagnose by researching online. I don’t do that. I google for knowledge. This way I’m able to reasonably respond to doctors about my health. I’m not set in stone. If the doctor still insists their way, I agree - in case they’re correct or to rule out.
I’m hoping something might pop up in your research to help guide you as you search for answers. Hopefully, it’s just that you need to tweak your thyroid.
I hope that before you placed her, you ascertained that this is a facility that will keep her on as a Medicaid resident once her money is used up.
We were blessed with an angel of a discharge planner after mom's hip surgery, which, post stroke, rendered her eligible for skilled nursing as opposed to AL.
When we sat down with the discharge planner, her first questions were about mom's finances. She explained that if mom could private pay for at least two years, we could get her into a better facility than if she didn't.
My parents were scrimpers and savers, too. And this is what they saved for-- mom's old age.
Good care does cost a lot. Of course it does. And I'm sure it isn't exactly what your father was looking forward to with longing as he worked all those hours. All the same, there's no escaping the reality of your mother's needs.
There is another issue about private pay / self-funders, though; and that is the question of whether they are subsidising other residents. Is this an issue at your mother's facility? Do you have other options?
I didn't win the $1.6 billion mega millions
Mom's private caregiver texted this afternoon that a new name was on the door - unbeknownst to me, mom is getting a new roommate -
I'm trying to remain optimistic but hoca has lost several residents lately and has been taking in folks that are a handful
are you an early bird by nature ?
some nights it feels like I don't fall asleep til 5 am
hope you enjoyed the hike and had some moments of laughter with your cousins -
I know a lot of us appreciate your experience & the knowledge you share. Keep sharing.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. It will be a new beginning.
Please remember that you are not alone. We are here for you.
Mom's been in SNF for about 6 months and 6 months before that in AL. I get so depressed and almost sick to my stomach when I write the check each month, especially since she has dementia and mainly unaware of her surroundings and frequently even me.
What's the point? I KNOW it's not my money. It's for her care and I placed her in a very nice facility where she is well-taken care of, but still, it's hard. Maybe it's something people don't talk about. They just suck it up. Maybe I need to do the same.