I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Why does that irritate you? Because everything associated with Dad irritates you.
This lone mantra has become your essence. Only you can change that.
I’m not saying you can change your father’s ways. Ha!
I’m saying that you CAN control your blood-pressure spiking reactions to Dad. You CAN control the amount of ruminating you do when Dad is in another room or another state.
Try it sometime. Even if you don’t notice the difference, your wife will. 🙂
TG, your father engineered 5 days out of your house without you having to do any of the driving, planning or spending. This is a win! STOP COMPLAINING. 🛑
You and your Very Patient Wife are the recipients of a beautiful gift: a major holiday without one iota of Dad. Take a deep breath and enjoy it.
You’re quite the cook, if I recall. If you feel like playing Chef TG this Thanksgiving, knock yourself out. No boors, no slobs, no naysayers! That part is already taken care of. (As long as you don’t invite any “problem people”......)
Heck, maybe a holiday for two is what’s best for you & Mrs. TG. You 2 get very few opportunities to recharge. And who says it has to be at home? Perhaps you’d like to abandon the stove, pack your bags and treat yourself and Mrs. TG to a change of scenery. Preferably someplace with with a hot tub. 😉
TG, I’m issuing you a challenge: During your 5 days of freedom, do not spend one moment fixated on what a S.O.B. Dad is. Do not wonder out loud over & over how much he is polluting someone’s else’s life.
Start training yourself now to simply enjoy the “non-Dad-ness” of it all. Without referencing him every 5 minutes. Got it??
I need to get the thyroid checked. I was already thinking to do that, because it's been time enough for second dose increase to ramp up in my system and it'd be good to see where levels are at now.
Might me a minor infection, too, that also makes some sense to me. There's a lingering lung infection going around here. I've had it for weeks but it's very minor.
It's just annoying. For me, not sleeping well is something that brings my life to a stop. I try to power through but that brings on anxiety/panic feelings.
It's odd to me that it was almost exactly this time last year that I was having similar issue, and this was before I started the thyroid medication.
Thanks for the sympathy and the tips. I'll be so glad when this is sorted.
I'm in that pattern again for the past week. Today, I am off work and I decided to end things early and take a melatonin and diazepam and get in bed and try to SLEEP.
And then I already had my first jolt awake after dozing off, and I'm sweaty and HOT.
Maybe I'm just a bit ill with something. But it's so much like what happened a year ago that I have to think it may be partly due to the move, the changes, the constant stress of all of it. Who knows.
I suppose it could be due to hormonal changes, but if it ends in another month, then I think it's just some bug that's around this time of year, or it's the extra stress of late raising cortisol levels and causing this issue with my sleep.
Not sleeping is the worst. It's torturous. BOOOOOO. Two thumbs down.
TG, therein lays your problem - you are not being selfish, you have a right to your feelings - hurt is hurt and we can always find others who are better or worse off than we are.
Years of doing for others and expecting things to be my way are impossible. Time to concentrate on my well being. Thanks for letting me vent or it would be mighty ugly here. To those who are suffering and dealing with insurmountable issues I send positive wishes your way.
When that person is the chief source of your own crappiness, and to boot is now cheerfully exploiting others, and considers he is doing them a favour by allowing them to exercise their charitable impulses, is it really surprising that you find it all just a little hard to take?
But your wife is right. Your Dad will be having a lovely time, which is good. The other people he has roped in don't mind, and will feel good about their various contributions, which is also good. And you and your wife will get a guilt-free break, which is excellent.
Your father gets up your nose. Allow yourself to be irritated, but then analyse what is actually happening and feel better.
Gosh he does take the piss, doesn't he - ?!
OK, he is going to my siblings. Somehow he wrangels one of my relatives who is driving halfway across the country to go to camp on his way home to pick him up. Its only 5 hours out of his way....... then he will bring him back 5 hours and then drive back home 5 hours...... Plus my sibling had to change his plane tickets so he could go to camp. He is a master manipulator! Everyone does for him! He wont be hunting, he hasn't left the camp in years anyway. He will just sit and sleep all day and tell stories. Oh well, good for him.
I did loose it last night when he told me. I was annoyed that he will let everyone do for him and he doesn't care, "They want to do this for me". He can barely walk across the kitchen floor.
So after last night my wife said, "he isnt upset, no one else is upset why do I get so upset?" She is right. I have to stop getting upset.
It is hard, not sure why I have all this pent up hostility.
Looking for ways to reduce my stress while caring for him. It is hard..... apparently the way I am doing it is all wrong cause I'm the one who is getting sicker.
There are killer bees, and if one is allergic to bees,
if stung, they could die. Then the bee would die.
Harbinger of death, ha ha.
Are there only male bees, jolly good fellows? So much like life in so many ways.....
all those little guys serving one queen bee?
I opened the door, and now cannot find dH anywhere.......
Yay Bee's! For they are jolly good fellows, that nobody can deny!
A post was missing, so I am going to post this here, just for the fun of it........and then take a nap!
What do bees mean spiritually?
The bee symbolizes community, brightness and personal power. Follow the bee to discover your new destination. The ancient Druids saw the bee as symbolising the sun, the Goddess, celebration, and community. At festivals, mead was usually drunk - the main ingredient of which is fermented honey.
I promise you this works - if you see a grounded bee, alive but feeble and appearing to be at death's door, and you put a little blob of honey just near it, there's this kind of magical osmosis thing happens and the bee will seem to come to and then fly off happy back to its hive. I heard that on a gardening programme and tried it myself. It didn't seem to work so well with maple syrup. And don't drop it *on* them, they really don't appreciate it.
I think they make their own honey, so that won't work.
I closed the door. Lol.
I love bees very much but sometimes their sense of direction - !
seems like it will kill you, but you go on anyway.
If you are that person, do. Do go on anyway. And stay with us all here in community with people who know and understand, and care about you.
A dragonfly was paused on my ornamental apple tree just outside my window the other day. Not one to look for signs, but understand that others do, I looked up what it could mean, because this dragonfly was shiny, clear, sparkly. The dragonflys in my area are usually orange colored. It means a visitor from heaven.
Having also lost a Mom, I know these next week's and months are going to be difficult for you, so be sure to take good care of yourself the best you can, and do come here for support from all of us who Love and Respect you, for We All Care so Much about You, and we hope that we can be your support system now, and in the coming days ahead.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss, Your Mom was So Lucky to have had such a Devoted Daughter such as You!
With my thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family, Stacey B. ❤❤❤