I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Tomorrow, Sunday, is my laundry day - for my work clothes. I just texted SIL asking if they're going to work on my sinks. It's 2pm... It's so frustrating. They'll do their family stuff and then tonight will try to fix the sinks ...then say, oh, since the store is closed, we'll fix it tomorrow ...or next weekend... whatever. I would fix it myself but I tend to break things or take things apart and have no clue how to put it back together. YouTube videos are replayed over and over and I still don't comprehend. It's like I have this blindspot, inability to grasp instructions.
If not fixed today, I'm calling the plumber tomorrow. I kept telling myself that it would have been fixed today if I had just called the plumber instead of trying to save money.
I've asked his friend numerous times to send me a single sentence text a day or two ahead- where, when, what time so I can add it to the calendar. This friend actually told me it was too much effort. I think he resents having to include me, as he thinks he should be able to tell DH and that's enough. You know - this is the way we've always done it. Except with PD, you have to adjust and the adjustment is that I need to be in the loop so I can help insure that DH is there. It's not as simple as grabbing keys and wallet. There's meds to take and timing of the Sinemet and food, getting adequate rest during the day so he can handle a late poker night, and which shoes make the sore feet hurt less that day. And driving at night is not comfortable so I need to drive him.
I have no problem helping him keep up a social life. But I'm beyond frustrated with his friend's refusal to adjust his way of doing things just because he doesn't think he should have to. I'm sure he thinks I'm a controlling witch.
I love this old fashioned chain and garden center - it has things you just can't find at the big box stores
Starbucks, See's and OSh are in the same corner center and have been my refuge on more than one afternoon 😥
I feel for you. This is tough stuff. Having a hospice expert to weigh in on your mom's current status would be helpful.
such difficult journeys to navigate
mom still likes to eat when she's awake which may not always coincide with the mealtimes- sometimes she's finishing breakfast a bit before lunch but if I don't have private aides with her then she wouldn't be getting much intake at all which is infuriating
i took mom to the neuro yesterday and we're going to lower one of her meds to see if it makes any difference in her daytime sleepiness- she slept through much of the appointment --
but, when I look at pictures of her just from February and March, the decline is quite noticeable, there is no sparkle or joy left in her eyes
thinking of you and hoping you can find some moments of rest in the days ahead
cw - a huge question indeed. It sounds like your mum is winding down, My thought is that, at this point, comfort is paramount. My mother is on the same path, but travelling it very slowly. This is a tough time for you.
ETA -it would be good to find out, in a setting safe for you, what their routine is when a person gets to the stage your mother is at.
(edit) ethics aside I'm not even sure it is possible to request that they stop taking her to the dining room and offering her food, there is no formal hospice here and although nursing homes are in the dying business aside from getting a tour of the palliative room and an assurance that a doc is available to prescribe symptom relieving meds if needed it hasn't been discussed. And I don't feel like having that conversation with an indifferent RN while standing in the hallway by the nurse's station.
I shouldn't think that the effort involved (there is some, even if she's being wheeled there and back) troubles her and it does provide at least a minimum of stimulation every day. If she stayed in her room completely undisturbed that would mean - well. You know, I don't want to rub it in.
But use your eyes and speak up. If in your much better opinion it actually *is* troubling her and making her uncomfortable to no purpose at all, you're her best advocate.
There have been so many people who have stopped by the house or c3alled. I knew that PJ had many friends, just didn’t realize how many. I do now though.
ali - have a wonderful time. A visit from a friend and live theatre are both awesome.
A whine about the smoke from BC. I had to take a decongestant this morning as my chest hurt. Waaaah Time for the air to clear.
seems she's headed to SoCal end of November so I may get another chance albeit it would be an overnight trip
maybe get a nice room and go to the spa before coming home ?
those are great experiences aren't they?
I took the Viking to the music center, the Pantages and the Hollywood bowl til she was about 90
i think Book of Mormon may have been her last show 😆
Back in '84 we were in London after visiting her Norway
and saw Cats along with some real theatre -
while walking back to the hotel, a well dressed gentleman struck up a conversation- seems he was staying at our hotel too
he asked mom to join him for a drink in the bar but she declined the invitation
even now at 95, she has some good looking legs