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Another old nurse here currently sitting with a heating pad on my back because the spare bed at my daughter’s is too soft . I’m pet sitting . All the bending over really low to put the leash on the dog to walk him isn’t helping . He’s one of those low to the ground long hot dogs with a small bladder 🙄.
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Llama, Good luck! With my old nurse's back it takes little to put it out. Used to be I would tell myself "Well, here goes 2 weeks of pain" but now I am so used to it, the spasms following the nerve pain, that it is more like two days. There have been bad bouts where it took a walker to get me about for a few days, one that hit me in the yard and I had to scoot upstairs backward on my butt using my (fortunately) strong arms. Most back issues go by two weeks. Careful with the ibuprofen. I can't take it anymore as it really riles up the diverticulitis issues. So now I take nothing for pain as I find that tylenol does nothing for me.
Backs are about as individual as our own thumbprint, but for me it is the bend and reach that gets it every time (think bedmaking).
Looked for your update all yesterday, and was thinking of you. Be real careful while there is nerve pain. And once it goes to muscle spasm you can move around more. NO SITTING. Semi-fowlers or up or walking or laying.
GOOD LUCK.
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Llama , you’re welcome .
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way: Thank you. Already taken care of by DH.
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Llama , hope you feel better soon. Move the pads to a better location.
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Update: DH took me to Patient First today in the car because there was no way that I could manage to get in the F150. It's good that I was able to recognize how the injury had occurred. I got an injection of Toradol in the glute, which is supposed to provide 6 to 8 hours of relief (though the pain is still there). I also got 800 mg Ibuprofen and a step down of Methylprednisolone and of course was told to alternate ice and heat.
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way: Yes, I started the ice and then heat late night.
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Gershun: Thank you.
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Llama ,

Did you try ice or a heating pad ?
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Feel better Llama.
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Need and Bounce: I know, right! Thank you. DH taking me to doctor after his dental cleaning.
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Llama,

Hope that this passes as quickly as possible. Glad you’re going to the doctor tomorrow.
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Ugh! Pulled muscles hurt! Hopefully taking myself to Patient First tomorrow after I did a wrong stretch to reach feminine pads last night - possible muscle strain. Prayers asked for please. Thank you.
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I don’t have a “whine moment today”. I have decades of whining:

*^^##}{]!!!!!
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Barb,

Your girl is 41. Mine is 61. I think you and I can agree together that they are grownups now. Mine is going grey. They have to learn to survive without us. Your girl has a hubby. She has friends I have to assume. She has Uber and Lyft and if she doesn't she has 911.

I still remember my caregiver tendencies nearly killing me off. I had to ge guided through by my shrink to learn to say "No. I am sorry. I can't". It was tough for my girl to hear. Hard. She said "But you are the only one responsible enough to help me do blah blah" and I had to say "What I am telling you is that I cannot be responsible for that now. Can't anymore. That you have to take care of it yourself". She was angry. It hurt like hell. I had made her believe I would always be mommie no matter how grown up she is. But it was the beginning of real growth for BOTH of us and for our relationship. Now, at 81 and 61 respectively SHE is often MY wisewoman, instead of the other way round. I don't know what I would have done without her when my bro was ill, when he died.

We have to stop enabling them, let them cut the cord, let them learn to THRIVE and SURVIVE on their own. That is not being a bad mom. THat is being a GOOD mom because it makes their self esteem grow exponentially.

It's tough for us Moms to learn that we don't have all the answers, that we can't always help our kids or save our kids or be the answer for our kids. But it is part of the life cycle.

I agree with others here that no one who knows you could ever fault you for a lack of caring love. NEVER. You are known for it here, and I would imagine everywhere.

You perhaps feel hurt now and I know what it feels like but the truth is that this is a good thing.
Hope your girl is OK. Hoping this isn't a kidney stone. I had diverticulitis show up referring pain to flank of all things. Hope she's doing OK.
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Oh Barb I don't think negligence is present in your DNA. Even once our children are adults we still feel such concern and worry over their well being.

You always are reaching out to so many with sane advice. When I first joined here and knew so little about so much regarding elder care issues you were one of the first posters to reach out to me. I believe your inner voice guides you with the correct decision choices. I hope your daughter heals.
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Barb: You did a great job and you definitely couldn't go out today! Hugs.💗
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Barb,

You love your daughter and it shows.

You’re being reasonable by following the instructions not to drive. Hopefully, she understands that it isn’t a good idea for you to be on the road tonight.

I hope that you and your daughter start to feel better soon.
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You are a good mum, Barb. There is no shame in what you can and can't do. You are more than enough.
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Barb,
Bounce is right . You did everything you could do . You got her to go to the ER . That’s most important .
I think Mom grief is in our DNA
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Thanks, guys. I know you know about how it's not guilt, it's grief, regret, whatever. I still need reassurance. Which is why I stay on here; both to give and get it.
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Barb,
You are not negligent . You can’t drive today . It is what it is.
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Back to whine about my juvenile 41 yo daughter. She texts tonight that she has terrible flank/hip pain. Had to call her husband to help her get home.

I ask if she has called her doc (who is the MIST responsive guy on earth). She says "I can't do that until the morning."

Whaaaast?

At my urging, she calls, he tells her which ER to go to.

She emails "can someone pick me up?"

Am I a terrible mother? I said I would CC an Uber. I gave blood today, badly and was told not to drive for 24 hours.

I am done here. But I feel so negligent.
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Thanks, Alva. Will do.
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THANK YOU Alva!!
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Sounhappy: Thanks.
It makes so much more sense knowing the justice you are hoping for comes out of a court case in the law system. Looks like the case is done and you are waiting for a judgement to be handed down that favors your side in the matter. I wish you very good luck with it. And whatever the outcome is, I hope that once this "dispute" is settled in the court you will be able to move on with life, knowing you have done all you conceivably could do.
I will now know what your "let justice prevail" messages to us means, and will be able to send positive thought out to you. I surely wish the very best for you.
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I love books, too. Try Librivox, Need. Many many books on there. All free!!!!!
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Thanks Need.

My kids avoid seeing MIL .
They get interrogated about their lives .
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I’m with Alva, I love listening to podcasts. Not one particular type though, I have always had very eclectic taste in music, art, food, books and yes podcasts. I’ve never been a one groove kind of person.

I have had tinnitus since my 20’s and I hate silence because I notice the ringing in my ears so I have my phone under my ear. So, it’s either a podcast or music on and I fall asleep listening to it.

Oh, and I listen to wrbh radio. They are a nonprofit organization that read unabridged books to the blind in our community but just as many sighted people listen to it. I love that station.
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Geeeeez, Way

Sounds stressful! I suppose that it’s better than my 100 year old cousin who still drives. Get this, she argues with the cops who give her speeding tickets!

I gave up on telling her that she shouldn’t be driving and that she should be using the shuttle bus at her facility.
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