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It’s a crazy story. So crazy, the details aren’t worth it. I just want justice to win.
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Sounhappy, I know I have read your previous posts but don't remember what you are going thru. Tried to lookback, but your "following" is closed. Besides showing posts you have commented on it also shows posts you have made. And you have no profile.
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In some weeks I’ll know if justice won. I’ll let you know.
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Please let justice win.
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Thanks!
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Sounhappy, whatever awful thing you’re facing right now, I wish you to succeed.
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Not a whine, just a memory.

I met a lady at a walking club. She decided to befriend me as I looked new (I was on holiday). She had moved to this lovely seaside town 10 yrs back. Her Husband & her had always planned to do the sea-change at retirement.. but the years ticked on, he sat in his chair, too comfortable to move.

She warned she'd go.
She left for a holiday.
She took the time to think.
She walked into a real estate office & rented a small house.
She returned to the city.
Told him her new address, packed & left.

6 months later he arrived, suitcase in hand, pale, lonely & wondering if this tanned, fit looking beautiful lady would let him stay?
A happy ending. 😊

(She told me it would have been a happy ending for her either way, whether he came or not, she was living her dream 😂).

I mentally took note & thanked her. I said it was a real pleasure, not often had, to meet a guardian angel who had just handed me my future life!

"What we want is on the other side of fear". Can't remember who said that, but I like it.
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It’s so rare to see justice win. Pleasssssse let justice prevail.
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sounhappy: You're welcome.
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Llama, thank you. It’s a crazy, crazy situation. The problem isn’t caregiving, but bullies in my “family”.

Please for once, let justice win.
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I’m reframing the rant I just wrote and deleted.

It’s football season in the US… if you have armchair quarterbacks and post-game analysts second-guessing your actions as a caregiver, if they haven’t ever suited up and been tackled, please change the channel.

Do not give them space in your already crowded life.

Do anything with more value, like watch Sharknado or clean the toilet.

Self? Are you listening to this excellent advice? Cuz football isn’t our jam anyway, and those 🤬 people have taken too much time and energy out of what we get on earth. I love you, NOW PAY ATTENTION.
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@Mamacrow and hothouse.
It can't last forever.
((((Hugs))))
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Mamacrow, My mother is just like this. I can sympathize. I hope I can get her into the NH so I don’t have to deal with her as much as I do now. I cannot stand it anymore.
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Whine Moment: My Dad has been an abusive bully all his live to myself and to my brother - and to Mom when she was alive. I keep telling myself " You're 67yrs old now - You don't have to take his crap" But here I am - still taking his crap! He's 95 with progressing dementia/Alzheimer's and a very sharp tongue! Uggghh! Calgon Take me away!!! Just Breathe..................
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To all who replied to my “poor me moment”. I thank you
the very thoughts I’ve been beating myself up over. I’m not helping my health and I’m certainly not helping him. The time is now to make the move with or without him. If legal separation is to be done so be it. I will not continue to be a cry baby but never do what’s necessary.
And yes we will be fine
I really needed this.
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DaSweadie, normally I would have PM'd you this, but newbies to this forum often don't check it. I must correct what you are attributing to the Lord. He *does* give us more than we can handle. To say otherwise is unbiblical and not a Christian concept. "... my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9� and "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matt.�11 Verses 28-30 Also, "the Lord helps those who help themselves" is also not scriptural nor a Christian concept. Don't hesitate to call upon the Lord. Don't wait until you are wrecked. He should be your first call for help, not your last. Blessings!
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Dear Da: About “The lord will not give you more than you can handle”, just remember what the Lord gave to Jesus. Don’t get crucified for your third unsuccessful try at married happiness. Ask your kids for help and advice – they may be very willing to provide it.
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Da: Welcome to the forum! You will be able to find support here.
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Da, make the move. Your hubby can come with you or stay where he is. Begin by seeing an attorney for legal separation and division of finances.

As to the Lord not giving someone more than they can take, I wouldn't murmur that one around a person losing a 5 year old to a brain tumor. We take things because there is no way round them but to jump off a bridge. We take things because there is no way around them; we must pass through them. I am not a believer, but if there's a god out there passing out Job's woes to people, he wouldn't be the guy (or gal) for me. And if you are a believer you might choose that adage about the Lord helping those who help themselves. I AM glad that your faith brings you comfort.

Take care of yourself. Find time away from this guy at the very least.
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Da, welcome!

Why does your disabled husband get to call the shots?

In your shoes, I'd arrange the move. Start packing.

Don't give him a choice in the matter. You know better.

If he doesn't want to come alone, he stays where he is.
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New to this forum but not to my whining I am 74 in I would say pretty good shape for an old broad my husband is 84. He’s my 3th. My children from first husband thinks he’s an arse. Which he is and now worse because he can’t hear so tv/radio blaring political crap only. He’s not steady on his feet I do everything cook clean take care of an 87 lb golden that he just had to have and only shouts at him and never plays with. But truly I love the dog way more than I do him. My kids and grand kids live in Tennessee. I want to move to be close to them. He is adamant and actually cried when I told him we have to move because the house is now too much and we need to be close to my family now. Screaming craziness ensued. That was 2 years ago. We live in illinois and I cannot even think about one more Midwest winter. I do have a high school boy that mows grass and takes care of snow at least I have that going. I am venting just venting. I’m struggling because I am one click away from packing a tooth brush one clean set of dainties my dog and running away. I keep telling myself remember the lord will not give you more than you can handle. But my yapping here is really the tip of the iceberg and I’m clawing my way to the last lifeboat.
I am breathing and I say “in with the peach foam..out with the green slime”. Everything will be ok. I’m feeling a bit my relaxed now that I’ve spilled my stuff to total strangers.
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sounhappy: Hoping that you're doing better today?
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sounhappy: Breathe. Caregiving is hard.
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Stress.
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Poodle, thank you. It’s a nightmare. I don’t know how this will end. I’ve met a few bad people in my life, but not as bad as certain “family” members.
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I can relate. As soon as I clean up from one meal I feel like it is time to start another. Yesterday I let him have ice cream and then pie. He had said right before that he was not hungry so I decided to let him do his thing as I was so tired anyway. I mean how many times do I come home from caring for him and have a bag of chocolate colored pretzels or ice cream for dinner because I am too tired to make something or just plain sick of preparing meals...and overall just exhausted from caretaking?
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Thanks Sounhappy.

Take a deep breath. Get the best advice you can get, from knowledgeable people. Bullies don’t change. They get worse. Protect yourself. Don’t trust them. Some people have no shame about how low they’ll go. Expect the worst from them.
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I’m in such a horrible situation and I don’t know how to stop it. Bullies.
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Geaton, Poodle, get well soon!

My situation, extreme stress. Family bullies, horrible. I hope justice prevails!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Geaton: Good luck to you with your health.
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