I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I AM TIRED
It will probably never happen. Its just a thought.
Isn't that taking the term makeover to the next level?
Going shopping for a very nice frame for that picture might be pleasant.
Project for the weekend is completing the admission forms for assisted living. Not made easier by dad dragging his feet. I recognize that he's playing the guilt card, oh poor me how can you make me go to an "old folks home". But it's mostly making me angry now.
There are blonde colors with a hint of red or golden. It isa good thing to want a makeover. Helps us feel better if we look better.
Tonight I was talking to her about going past our little wood frame house where we lived when we were born...I still love that little house. I feel like I could move in right now and be at home...best memories in the world. I was talking to her about all that and told her how much I loved our childhood and had just the best memories of anyone on earth and she was listening..I could tell...I saw her smile and then she said "yay" sometimes these moments are tough and sometimes they're warm and cozy....but they're always special.
The one thing I do believe is that God knows what our loved ones need and He also knows what we need and He will be with us through it all and we have to just put it all in His hands and trust Him and ask Him to walk with us through it all and help us along the way....
Love and hugs to you all.....
I'm trying not to become hardened to peoples feelings but I am just done with people using me and hurting me and then when they need me or want something out of me, here they come again...done...
Scammers of the elderly...they're right up there with child abusers and animal abusers...it really takes a low form of life to hurt children ....or animals...or abuse the trust of an elderly person..or someone who is disabled and unable to understand what is gong on...Those kinds should be put behind bars and have the keys thrown away...and that is the kindest thing I could think of...I have a whole lot of others ideas...
I am thinking of dying my hair red. I have no idea why..I have been a blonde all my life but I think I may just go and do it. I wonder though if even that change might confuse Mama...hadn't thought of that...best rethink I guess....
It is truly eye opening how people's true colors have shown during my caregiving experience and I think quite a few people will be treated differently by me from now on as well.
Looloo, I hope this check thing can be resolved. I hope it was not someone scamming your Mom, if so I hope the bank will help. That kind of thing makes me madder than a hornet. I don't know how people that do this can live with themselves. There should be stronger punishments for scammers....I can think of a few!
I hope everyone here has a peaceful and restfull night...{{hugs to all}}
Had to run and get my BP prescription and on the way back decided to stop and fill the tank and was finishing that when a lady hollered at me...Lady , is that gas pouring out of your truck??? and it was....yikes, the grommet or whatever it was was not secured well and so I lost about 5 gallons of gas on the concrete...called the shop and they told me it was ok to drive back over there, which didn't sound good to me, but he assured me I would not blow up so I made it, he got it reconnected and hopefully we're good to go now...He even gave me money to make up for the gas I lost...But all the activity of the day has worn me out...but then the activity of every day wears me out.
Gershun...I think what you are feeling is very normal in a grieving process. In fact, I don't know that there is a not normal ..everyone has to do things at their own pace. I am kind of at that place already...I'm already pulling away from folks and I honestly don't feel odd about it. I am going to start recreating life based on who is kind to me. We all have our moments, but going forward, the fact that someone is "family" is not going to be what keeps me attached to them. I know I will always be close to my brother...the rest of them pretty much dumped me on the side of the road a long time ago so that is just fine....I'll be ok...
I have not experienced any flutters today so maybe the BP meds are kicking in now by day three. I am just going to make sure I take them daily ON TIME...and try to get myself under control...
I get that fluttering feeling in my chest sometimes too. I find if I cough it usually goes away. Its scary when it happens though.
I'm starting to worry about myself. Since my Mom died I've been pushing my husband and everyone else away. I just want to sleep all the time. Classic symptoms of depression I know. I may have to give in and go talk to a counselor.
So, I'm here airing my latest: it looks like my mother was scammed - by someone who came into her community, into her house. Which I find rather upsetting. Much more upsetting than those bogus "charities" that keep trying to auto charge her credit cards for monthly donations (that's another whine for another day).
Although I live several hours away and manage her care and affairs from a distance, thanks to technology I'm able to do a pretty thorough job of watching her activity like a hawk. But since she refuses to go to Assisted Living, she continues to live in her 55 and over community for "active and independent" people (she has never been active OR independent), there are risks.
I got an alert this past Tuesday that an "electrician" drove up to the community's gate for her. I am trying hard not to be as pulled into her stuff as I have been, so although I was tense and curious about what this was about, I just told myself to keep an eye out for cleared checks and make sure everything was ok.
This morning, a check cleared for $250. Not necessarily unreasonable, depending on what kind of "electrical" work was done (what could she possibly need, anyway????). I viewed the front and back of the check, and noticed that it wasn't deposited into an account - it was simply cashed right at my mother's bank. So, I googled the payee info, thinking that the company name would show up in the results. Yeah, it did - but it wasn't an electrician, it was an insurance services company (Oh, GOD...).
I spent the entire morning on the phone, leaving messages for who I think scammed her (someone probably using an alias, with the same initials in both names). He hasn't called me back, by the way. I called the bank, then went into my local branch, and they were helpful in getting the account flagged so that if this person tries to cash anything else, he won't be able to. They also submitted a claim, so that if it is fraud, my mother may get her $ refunded.
I also left a message on the FBI's voice mail at their local office. It couldn't hurt, right?
I've desperately wanted to take the checks away from my mother for a long time now. So tired of this - it's not the first time she's done something that could have been financially catastrophic. I'm thankful that in the scheme of things, the dollar amount this time was not terrible. These predators are like roaches.
your blood pressure, you don't want to be messing with that, unless your doc says what to do.
Likewise, if you are propping yourself up by your elbow, while lying down, trying to type on your Kindle, your shoulder is getting sore, and you become aware you are pinching your neck, cutting off blood flow to your brain, and compressing your carotid artery, stop that! Find a new position, don't read books this way either.
Hope this helps someone else. Im going to get up and get to work now!
Emjo, are you feeling any better?
Heart2Heart: I hope you are doing well.
Jeweltone: thinking of you and sending best wishes.
Joy and love to all of you!
Hope, I have been having a bit of that fluttering lately too, and I do believe for me it is from stress and likely too much coffee lately. I am cutting back on the coffee and trying breathing exercises to relax. Does your fire department have a program where you can get your BP checked? I have heard some fire departments provide this service for free. You could compare the paramedic's readings with your home monitor if you feel unsure about your readings. I have found that the placement of my arm and the tightness of the cuff can vary the readings.
Gershun, I run low with my BP numbers too. Sometimes if I feel tired or slightly woozy I eat a salted cracker and that helps me feel better. i often don't drink enough water during the day too. Often with me I think it is the stress.
Globe and JessieBelle, I have heard so many times people tell me to take my Mom on vacation with us so we could get a vacation.....Sure, Mom is bedridden, needs a hospital bed, has a urinary catheter, can't walk or stand and needs everything done for her. This type of thinking just sums up how other people just do not understand what we all are dealing with! Even a mobile aging person with multiple health problems would be a challenge for travel at the very least!
Sometimes we go to visit my brother, who lives an hour away. They have 10-12 steps that go up to their house. These steps get harder for Mom each year. A few minutes after we get there, Mom is ready to come home. She tires easily. The trip is not easy, since it is on an interstate that often has heavy, fast traffic. My mother talks and talks, while I just try to make sure we make it home safely. I don't like city driving. I love the country where you can drive forever and rarely see another car.
My beef is that she knows mom cannot adapt to unfamiliar surroundings and gets very confused, anxious and oppositional. She uses the excuse that it would give me a break to get away from the city - not! It is more a case of "I am the centre of the universe" mentality, and she doesn't want to spend time at mom's/my place.
It was an exhausting, exasperating two days. Mom could not grasp the fact that we were staying overnight, why we were going, who we were going to see. Repetitive questions, statements and rituals (are we there yet, if I'd have known this...., did I lock the door, where is my purse and rifling repetitively through it (sometimes not knowing what she was looking for).
A short time after we arrived, I took some pictures of the garden and wanted to get a picture of mom. I look down to adjust the camera and the next thing she has fallen backwards on the ground after tripping up over the hedge. I got her up with some difficulty, she assured me she was okay. However, later that evening she kept saying her hand hurts and she couldn't put pressure on it, but because it was the same hand in which she has Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, I couldn't tell if this was something new or not (there was no swelling or bruising). She was complaining about it earlier in the week.
Except for a brief trip to a small trail with my brother in law, I was with her the whole time, and was up all night in the same room as her because I feared the risk of her falling down the stairs adjacent to the bathroom in the middle of the night. No down time whatsoever, then dealing with her impatience, confusion and anxiety the next morning on our return trip.
What ticked me off as well was that my sister still did not give me available times that she would come down to stay with mom while I took a few days vacation, and she wasn't available for two day trips that I booked. As Maude would say, "God will get you for this!" I did manage to get a brief glimpse and a few pictures of the Elora Gorge on the way back, which was probably a good thing (that it was brief) because there was some nasty wood burning smoke that just about choked me.
The scary thing was that mom, at one point, was confused about who my sister was and I thought, oh oh, moving into the next phase of dementia. My sister did admit at the end of it that mom gets too disoriented in an unfamiliar environment, and has trouble climbing the stairs. I also noticed when I got back that mom's eye is bloodshot and looks infected, possibly from my sister having the windows down for a while on the highway instead of putting on the air conditioner.
Not a happy camper today!